Brennan's Journal
by angelstryst
Summary: NOW COMPLETE! Takes place 6 months after the finale. BS, JL, BA and other OFC. They are fighting to survive and reclaim their life. How do they reunite after being seperated, and what will they do when they are?
1. Visiting home

_Okay, this fic takes place about six months after the series finale. I have made some changes from the original to make it more suitable for the T catagory. I hope it's ok. I usually just write how I feel the whole event would happen so I hope the edits are okay and run smoothly. It is mainly a Shal/Brennan fic, but I have tried to add as much of the rest of the cast as possible. I really loved the Jesse/Lexa dynamic, but this story just seemed to work itself out for me. I hope you give it a try and let me know what you think._

_Thanks to Stephanie, Sara, and Rachel for all the help and hard work they have put in to helping me with this project. This evolved from a simple journal with nothing but entries to an entire story. What can I say but my muse decided to inspire me._

_I own nothing and all of the Mutant X rights belong to Marvel, Tribune and of course Avi Arid._

_Please R&R - I really appreciate all the comments to let me know what you think._

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**1 Visiting Home 1**

Footsteps sounded lightly over the ruins of what was once called home, or better known as their Sanctuary, and an old life that was missed dearly. Out of the darkness a petite lithe form emerged. Eyes flashed amber and the body moved as a predator among the debris and wreckage. Slowly the feral known as Shalimar moved out of the shadows into a ray of sunlight cast through one of the holes blown into the roof, lighting up her being and causing her gold hair to glow even in the gloom.

She breathed out a sigh as she realized that the building was well and truly empty sans the leftovers of a life that had been destroyed. She walked into what had been her room at one time and surveyed the damage and what was left of the possessions that were not trashed or destroyed by the invading Dominion teams. Memories came flooding back from the many years she had spent in this room and all of the tears and laughter that it had seen. She jumped, taken off guard by a squeaking and scurrying as several small animals that had made themselves at home in the remnants of her bed, fled through a gaping hole in the wall leading to what was left of Brennan's room. She gave a shaky laugh and put her hand to her mouth, to squelch the sound that reverberated or to keep from screaming she wasn't quite sure.

Suddenly she realized that she felt more alone and desolate then she had in the past 6 months. It was stupid to come back here on her part, who knows what kind of traps might have been left, but she had to, she had to find some peace to give her sanity and help her to move on with her life, and maybe give her direction as to where to go from here.

Pacing around her old room she found an old photo album that she stuck in her empty, faded, brown leather bag. She would look at that later she chided herself as she resisted opening it and reminding herself of time long ago. Only one of her knickknacks survived, it was a snow globe of a dancing unicorn; Jesse had gotten it for her his first Christmas at Sanctuary. She smiled at the memory of that before wrapping it in a rag that looked like it had at one time been one of her shirts. Searching around for a few more moments she grabbed a few items of jewelry that were scattered around a broken jewelry box, and moved on to see what else was left to examine.

The only two of the remaining rooms that were accessible were Brennan's and Emma's old room that she knew had nothing left to offer her. She lightly fingered what was left of the door frame to Brennan's old room and heaved a sigh before stepping over the rubble into the room. Memories again bombarded her as she took in the lingering scents in the room. Her eye's watered, but she blinked back the tears and continued her search for anything worth salvaging for herself and maybe for Brennan, if…no when she saw him again. She found a few of his old books including the one that Adam gave him not long after he joined, Walt Whitman. The cover was faded and worn, but considering it was still in good shape.

Several more minutes of picking through the debris netted very little that Shalimar was interested in or worth saving. She had this feeling like there was something more for her to find here. She walked over to a space on the wall that she had remembered seeing open one time she had been in here tormenting Brennan, but never thought about it again. She walked to the wall and after careful examination found the almost hidden seams. She took several seconds of pushing and prying before finding the catch on shelf several inches above the cubby. Shalimar coughed and sputtered slightly as the dust rose from the area. As the dust cleared she finally found something that she never remembered seeing before. Shalimar smiled to herself thinking how secretive Brennan could be about things. He had a cow when she confiscated his little black book; she smiled faintly at the memory. This book had a faded blue velvet cover, and she opened it before she even realized it, and saw something that she hadn't expected to see. It looked like a journal. Shal shook her head, she never knew, for that matter, she didn't know if anyone else knew that he kept a journal. In a way it made the most sense. He loved to read and mentioned wanting to write a book about his crazy life on more then one occasion. She walked out of the room and settled herself on one of the stairs leading to the now destroyed second floor.

Shalimar looked around as if expecting someone to yell at her for invading someone else's privacy, but she felt as if she had a right to. She's in love with him damn it, and just wants some part of him back for a few minutes. The binding cracks slightly, but gives easily as if opened hundreds of times. On the first page she sees Brennan's scrawled handwriting and smiles as she reads the first entry.

_**October 14, 2001**_

_**Well I'm officially part of a team now, Mutant X, huh, "Hey mom, look at me – I'm a superhero!" Oh Boy! I'm still not sure about it. It does sound like an adventure though, and who has ever known me to turn down one of them! This whole Mutant X thing is so weird though. I never imagined a band of mutant superhero's trying to save people and mutants, let alone being asked to be part of them. At least I'm secure in knowing that I will have a roof over my head for as long as I'm here, and it is a beautiful place. Sanctuary, the double entendre is unmistakable. I can't help but feel at peace in this place though.**_

_**The past few days have been a wild ride to say the least. Just a few days ago I'm breaking into a bank vault for a pittance of what I'm bringing out; I'm surviving and enjoying life and loving the thrill of adrenaline coursing through my veins when I pull a job. Then I meet Emma for the second time in as many days, and learn about this whole "dark side" of the mutant world. It was a strange eye-opening experience to say the least. It is weird when you realize things that are going on in the world around you for the first time, and there are things in this life that just might be worth something bigger…**_

_**I don't know why, but I felt some resentment toward Adam for letting those goons haul me away. Maybe because they fought so hard for Emma and left me to the people that Emma had shown me were the bad guys in all this. I have been alone for a long time, and been rolled on by more then one person. I relented and just figured that this was one more jam I would have to get myself out of. One thing stuck out in my mind though, Jesse and Shalimar were willing to continue fighting for me without having any clue as to who I am, maybe I'm getting soft in my old age, but something about that touched me and made me think that they wouldn't leave me to die.**_

_**Eckard had no idea of what he was getting himself into when he tried to bullshit a bullshitter with his high and mighty attitude. I guess no one ever warned him of that old adage. I think when Eckard tried to break me; I really became wary of what was to become of me. I also didn't like the idea of wearing that stupid governor. Restricting my freedom was probably his biggest mistake. Who did he think he was to leash me like an untrustworthy dog? I guess trusting me would have caused him even more trouble though.**_

_**I couldn't help but get wigged when I used my powers on another person. I was bothered by the fact that I was going to be used to electrocute people. I lied to Emma when I said I had never used my powers on another person before. I hate the thoughts of it though. I feel like a monster sometimes, and I don't like to think about the damage that I can do to anyone. It was strange to have these other mutants who understood what that felt like and accept me and not be afraid to touch me or be near me. My own family wasn't even like that.**_

_**When I think back to my family and growing up I sometimes wonder what I missed. But watching Shalimar, Jesse, and Adam together, they act like a family, and somewhere deep inside I think I would like to be part of a family like this. I worry about the lack of freedom that I might have living here, but Shalimar told me that aside from missions we had a lot of freedom. I am restricted from bringing girls back here, for obvious reasons. That hopefully won't cramp my style. It can be a good thing though. I mean if I meet up with another Nichole or Tara, having them not know where I live would be a good thing. Emma had mentioned her lack of a stable family structure when she was growing up, and I think that the family setting was a good thing in her mind, even if she doesn't realize it yet.**_

_**Emma is amazing with her empathic ability. It is strange to feel like someone will be able to ready my emotions, and know what I'm feeling. It is disconcerting though, I don't know if I like the idea, especially when I'm trying to be alone and read or just ignore everyone; plus lets face it, having two hot women hanging around can lead to some pretty dirty thoughts sometimes. **_

_**Jesse seems like he spent too much of his life being pampered. I haven't seen anyone on the streets that will wear their heart on their sleeve like he does. He also seems to be easily hurt, which I will have to help him get over, I will go nuts if he gets upset too often. I can respect that he is a good fighter though. **_

_**Shalimar is wild and beautiful, but I have a feeling she would die before letting anything happen to Adam or Jesse. I don't know what it is like to know someone like that or feel that way about someone. I wonder if she would ever feel that way about Emma or me. The flipside of that is; will I ever feel that way about these people?**_

_**Adam has helped me to understand my abilities a little better. I have known for a long time that I wasn't the only mutant, but I never understood why I had these powers. Meeting Adam has helped me to come to terms with my abilities, and Adam says that I can learn more control over them then I already have. It would be great to learn how to control my voltage levels better. **_

_**I guess I will be here for a little while at least. I just have to remember to take out the trash after I burn my dinner. Jesse forgot to warn me about Shalimar's pet peeve of leaving horrible smelling garbage in the kitchen. At least she left the trash in the bag on my bed. Of course there was a warning that next time it wouldn't be in the bag. She's feisty; I think we will get along pretty well!**_

Shalimar had tears running down her face as she reread the page remembering the one line she said to him when he joined "No hazing, no handshakes." She had no idea why that popped into her mind. Shalimar realized she sat just a few feet away from where that had taken place almost 4 years ago. Silently she wept.


	2. Memory Lane

_Okay if your still reading that is great, it means I have done something right... or maybe something horribly wrong and your kinda like a by-stander at a train wreck and just can't look away. In that case I'm sorry! _

_As always I own nothing, and wish I did. Sadly I am just a poor person trying to rectify some of the mistakes made too hastily by the filming corporations._

_Thanks to Stephanie, Rachel and Sara for all of their help and support throughout this piece!_

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**2 Memory Lane 2**

Shalimar looked up at the daylight filtering through the broken walls. It was only early afternoon. She stared down at the journal again, wanting nothing more then to continue reading it, but wanting to continue her search for remnants of her leftover life as well. Resolutely, she stood, tucking the journal in her bag, and walked up the stairs, avoiding with an agile leap the two that were in danger of collapsing under any weight at all. She looked through the living area, making her way to the hangar bay. The fallen debris made it difficult to pass, but with her agility she was able to sneak through by climbing and twisting. She wasn't sure what she was looking for, but for some reason she felt she needed to check in here.

The door to the cage had been pried open and was hanging on the bottom hinge. Shalimar saw the disarray that the Dominion soldiers had left and frowned. She searched the racks, and just when she was about to give up, a glint of light caught her eye. Bending down to examine it, she found it was a disk. She was almost positive that they would have all been collected by the Dominion. It was caught in one of the rails on the shelf, but had suffered only a minor scratch.

_I should be able to see what is on here_, she thought to herself as she put it in a side pouch of her bag to keep it protected.

Shalimar walked out and noticed that the door leading to the cliff was open, and before she knew it she was walking out to the cliff face where Adam's and Emma's names were carved. Peering around the corner, almost scared to see if their memorial had been destroyed, she planted one foot in front of the other, determined to see this through.

The memorial still stood, and she let out a breath of relief that she didn't know she had been holding. Emma's ring was gone, but that was expected. Shalimar sat on the rocks and looked down at the bay watching the water churn. Sitting here she decided that she wanted to read just a little more, and pulled out the journal again. She found it a soothing balm to her aching heart to once again be in someway close to both Emma and Brennan.

_**October 29, 2001**_

_**Would I give up my powers? Just for another person, even if they were the one? I don't know how to answer that. I've been rolling that around in my head for the past day, and still can't answer that question for myself. Which is why I was so shocked that Shalimar was able to so quickly. I've only known her for a few weeks, and I always thought I was comfortable with my abilities, that was, until I met her. She just seems to emanate comfort and control with her feral side. I have been fairly comfortable for a few years now, but after meeting her, I think I have been fooling myself. Emma thinks that it has to do with the time that Shalimar has spent with Adam, and Shal's acknowledgement of her abilities from and earlier age; who knows maybe one of these days I'll get up the guts to ask her. I can honestly say I'm glad that she is still part of the team. I'm getting to know her and Jesse better, and I have to admit to liking them a lot more than I thought I would. That could be in part because they went to the wall for me, and kicked ass to save my life.**_

_**Being shot with that beam last week and almost dying was a little too real for me even. My life has been in danger a lot, and I've probably been just as close to dying a few other times, but not being able to do anything about it was the worst part. I found out what it is like to really be part of a team though. Jesse really went out on a limb for me; even though he joked that he was just trying to keep the weapon from falling into Eckard's hands. The whole team worked to make sure that they kept me alive. Emma stayed with me most of the time; she and Adam told me about what happened when I was finally in any shape to understand it. Of course Adam told me in technical terms, and Emma had to translate. I wonder if he makes everyone feel like they lack more then average book smarts.**_

_**I've never had anyone who would put their lives in danger just for me. Jesse was so nonchalant about it, I wasn't sure what to make of it, but I have a feeling this whole team thing is more like a family thing sometimes. Have I been inducted into a family without knowing it?**_

_**Jesse and I are getting to know each other better. He can still be way too serious sometimes. It's going to take a while to get him to lighten up. I mean come on; I know we were on assignment looking for Donna, but couldn't he be happy if I got us some dates out of the deal? He really must have missed how cute that bartender's smile was, as well as her other attributes; asses like that aren't a dime a dozen.**_

**_Speaking of asses… I think Emma really enjoyed making Jesse and I feel like a couple of 'em when she followed us into the bar. We meant it when we didn't want to see her get hurt, but I guess she was hell-bent on proving us wrong. She must have been training when we weren't looking because she is getting a lot better. The first time Shal really sparred with her; Emma spent more time on her ass than fighting. I offered to kiss it and make it better, but she did this thing where she mentally kicked me in the shin. I guess that is a no. She wants to join me and Jess tomorrow when we spar; I guess this will be interesting._**

Shalimar smiled to herself, remembering Richard. He was the definition of 'lust at first sight. Part of her wondered what would have happened if she and Richard had had more time. Another part, an admittedly larger part, was glad that she stayed. She also remembered Emma's foray into the physical combat realm, and how hard she wanted to be pushed. Shalimar remembered nights when the guys would go out that Emma would beg her to train so she could get better, faster, and stronger. Shalimar still missed her, but the hurt had become bearable, and was no longer a part of everything she did and saw, the way it had been for so long after she'd lost her friend.

They had come close to losing each other more times then she cared to admit; thinking back now, she remembered how scared she felt each time. Did Brennan know just how much he meant to them even after the short time that they knew him? Adam had stated he wanted an outlaw, but did he foresee just how much of an asset Brennan would be to them?

Shalimar had promised Lexa she would return by five. She still had a little time left. Happy to be out of the safe house for more than an hour or so, she decided to sit and read a little more and reminisce…

**_November 4, 2001_**

**_I admit that I have met some whacked out people in my life, but this Kilohertz guy was definitely in the top five. First he almost kills Jesse and Shal because his broadcast fried the Helix, and then he goes on a psychotic rampage. I feel like I actually was able to help save my team though, and pay them back a little for saving my life. However, I was corrected quickly by Shalimar when I said we were even; she said, "We're a team, and that always makes us even." I think this can be a running joke between us though. I wonder what will happen to Kilohertz…Barry… now that the GSA has a hold of him? He could really cause some damage._**

**_Barry has this amazing ability, and he doesn't even realize all that he could do with it. I mean hell I wouldn't destroy the stock market, but I would definitely take advantage of the monetary prospects! I better hope Adam never sees this… But ohhh the possibilities!_**

**_Speaking of possibilities… I have this hot prospect that I met at the bar tonight. Jade, sexy name, and boy does her name live up to her looks. I was denied a more thorough exploration of her assets, but she gave me the 'not on the first date' line; she will most definitely be worth the call to find out. We have been so busy around here lately I hope I get a chance to see more of her soon!_**

**_I have taken up a new game lately on the dating scene. I decided to try being different occupations when I pick up girls. So far I have found that no matter how good I'm looking, working as a car salesman will get me nada. I told Jade I work as an electrical engineer. I thought it had a certain irony to it. I used to always use the classic car restoration guy line, and that worked most of the time. Boredom in dating land must really be getting to me if I have been trying to make a new game out of meeting girls. _**

**_The girls I live with on the other hand… I think they have some kind of immunity to my charms. I guess that is good because I don't want to get involved with people I work with. I have seen how messy that can wind up. Emma has a good sense of play with me, but I catch her flirting with Jesse every now and then when she thinks no one is looking. I guess she likes the attention that she gets around here. I can't blame her. It's nice to have a stable environment and people you are comfortable being around._**

**_Shalimar is amazing. I sparred with her for the first time a few days ago, and she whooped my ass badly. If it was any other girl I might be offended, but I have sadly accepted that I'm pretty sure she can kick my ass without breaking a sweat. Does it make me a masochist if I think that's hot?_**

**_Adam is getting me more involved in the underground workings of Mutant X, and I am amazed at the work that some of these people are doing. They could be thieves living the high life if they chose, and yet here they are working for the good of the world. I mean pulling the tricks they do past the GSA to get the new mutants through checkpoints are nothing short of genius. I'm supposed to meet with this guy Rick soon to help relocate a married couple. Rick just recently pulled the wool over the GSA's eyes getting though a checkpoint. I don't know how he did it and he told Adam that it was just between them. Maybe I will get it out of him when I see him._**

**_November 18, 2001_**

**_The past two weeks should have taught me to listen to Adam, but we all know that won't stick for long. I mean last week I was stuck being eyed like a piece of meat and driven insane by a married couple, while the rest of the team nearly died trying to save the entire new mutant population. I still can't believe that Rick is dead. He was such a great help to the new mutant underground, and all because of some stupid viral strain he is gone. I hated feeling so useless. That's what I was though. I was just sitting around like a babysitter for two of the most annoying married people of all time. Supposedly married people; wouldn't know it by the way they were cheating on each other. To top it off every ten minutes I was being mentally undressed. Ugh, now I know what the girls are always bitching about when we go to the clubs and those idiot guys leer at them._**

**_I think I have a better grasp of Emma's abilities after my experience with Ashley. I have never imagined being inside a person's head, or whole being for that matter. I now know almost all of her secrets, and the bad side is that she now has a ton of secrets that I would never share with anyone. _**

**_I was amazed at what I saw and felt though her eyes. I saw Ashley's memories of walking in and seeing her mother screwing Ashley's boyfriend right on the kitchen table in a dingy apartment. I felt what she felt when she saw it. I felt the hurt that she felt when she was betrayed by Eric. _**

**_I talked with Emma tonight about how she deals with all the emotions she is bombarded with on a daily basis. She is pretty good about keeping a wall up and not letting most of them through now. She told me about the other night when Shalimar came home and locked herself in her room not even letting Jesse in; that it was impossible not to feel her emotions rolling off her and slamming into her like a freight train. I pried for more information, and Emma told me straight up that it's private, and if I want to know what happened I'd have to talk to Shalimar myself. I guess I won't know anytime soon._**

**_Speaking of Shal, we're getting along well and I'm starting to really feel a bond with her that goes beyond casual friendship. I enjoy working with her probably the most out of the whole team. We are both reckless at times and love a good adrenaline rush, so maybe that is what is great about working with her. I just don't know if she would be open to me prying into her life just yet. She did tell Ashley that she thought of me more as a brother, and part of me was thrilled that, after just a little while of knowing me, she had placed me at that status. I don't know how to explain the other half of my reaction though. I am by no means as close to her as she is with Jesse. I know she would do anything for him and vice versa, but I guess that is what over five years of living together will do for you. _**

**_In some ways I think that is why Emma and I are close; it is not the amount of things we have in common, because those are few and far between, but the fact that while we are accepted and cared about by the others, we don't share the history that Adam, Shalimar, and Jesse do. Sometimes it gets annoying when Jesse will say something and Shal or Adam just crack up and start laughing, leaving Emma and me clueless as to the history of the line or particular name. _**

**_Ashley swore to me that my secrets are safe. There are some things in my past that I never want my … well family … to know about. That didn't feel as awkward to write as I thought it would. Maybe things are finally starting to fit together for me here. I have training in the morning. Adam is a little crazy sometimes. He loves to do things early. Doesn't he understand that some people like to sleep till nine or even noon? There were many days I wasn't going to sleep till after the times he wants me up and training. _**

**_I was surprised to get another book of poetry though. It's a hard back of Whitman too! I am looking forward to reading it. He has a way of describing things that makes you almost think you are right there looking and experiencing it for the first time. I guess it fits in with this new life I'm making for myself._**

Shalimar wondered then what had happened to all of the people that had been put in stasis pods at the GSA. Were they all dead? Did Ashlocke free them only to enslave them? This she would probably never know, but she couldn't stop herself from lamenting over the fact that there were so many new mutants they were unable to help, even with the continued existence of the Underground.

She smiled to herself remembering her first sparring session with Brennan. Emma and Jesse had pulled up seats to watch, and Jesse was threatening to sell tickets after the first two minutes. Both of them harassed him for a week at least. She never told Brennan how much she had held back her strength, but he probably knew. He had never told her that he enjoyed sparring with her.

A part of Shalimar screamed in jealousy when he talked about other girls, but she chided herself, remembering that, in the beginning, they weren't as close. They were new teammates and tentative friends. The first job they worked together was with Kilohertz after all.

Looking up, she realized how late it had gotten, and she hadn't even noticed. She quickly packed up the book and did one last sweep without finding anything else she would be able to get to without a lot of probably futile effort. She walked out to where her motorcycle was parked. It wasn't as nice as her old one, but it was fast enough to satisfy the daredevil in her. As she mounted the bike's seat, she gave one last look to the ruins of her old home, and with that look Shalimar Fox said goodbye to it and the life it once contained for her.


	3. Different Times

_Thank you all for the reviews. The good news is that this has been a WIP for almost a year now, and I'm closing in on the final few chapters now. So this means I will probably add a chapter here every few days._

_Just a little background before going on. This story started out as simply journal entries and evolved over the course of time to become an out and out work that took on a life of its own. Brennan became my key player for the entries because of his love to read which was expressed a lot in the first season. I just kinda figured that most people who read a lot also have a tendency to write so I went with it. This story revolves mostly around Brennan and Shalimar, but there is a healthy dose of Jesse and Lexa thrown in for those who love them too. Beau and Angel are characters from the first season ep Dark Star Rising, in case ya don't remember them._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. Literally, no joke. If you want to sue me good luck. I can save you the attorney costs and give you the $2 to my name right now. The characters from Mutant X (Shalimar, Lexa, Brennan, Jesse, Angel and Beau) are owned by Marvel and Tribune... If I owned them I might have kept them on for a few more seasons!_

_Okay - on with the show._

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**3 Different Times 3**

Lexa was pacing the floor of the warehouse she and Shalimar now called their temporary home.

"Could you at least pick a different track, Lexa, you're starting to wear the carpet?" Angel said as she watched Lexa pass her for the umpteenth time.

"I'm sorry, but this whole thing with the Dominion has me trying to figure out what to do next. I also don't like that Shalimar has been gone most of the afternoon, it's getting dark and she's still not back." Lexa said seating herself in front of a makeshift computer terminal.

"I know it's not easy, but we will get everything back on track." Angel said. At that moment, she heard a door open, then close. "Shalimar's back." she added quickly as her feral hearing picked up the sound of Shalimar's motorcycle.

Shalimar walked in to find two sets of eyes boring holes into her. It reminded her of the time Adam caught her sneaking in late. "What?" She asked innocently.

Lexa was not having any of it, "Do you know what time it is? You said you would be back over two hours ago. What do we do if you're caught too?"

Shalimar was tired from her activities that day and in no mood to deal with Lexa's freak out. Although Shalimar loathed admitting it, she would have been the same way. "I was doing something that I needed to, and I can't tell you anymore then that. I'm sorry." She said as she walked past them to the makeshift bedroom. She felt a small ounce of remorse for her lie, but she couldn't be honest with Lexa just yet. Not about this.

To her dismay Lexa didn't drop it, but followed her and continued on her tirade. "You know how important it is for us to stick together. We are all each other has right now. If it weren't for Angel and Beau God only knows where we would be! You have to show them some respect too you know!"

"I had to do something, and I have shown them respect," Shalimar ground out, "I haven't been going out at all, but you should already know that because you are cooped up with me here watching me crawl the walls day in and day out."

"Shal," Lexa said softening her voice "it's been almost three months since we saw them and we have to stay together." Never in Lexa's life did she think she would be the advocate for team and companionship, but this team had changed her in less then a year, and now she was trying to hold what was left of them together.

Shalimar turned her eyes down; she knew exactly who Lexa meant, Brennan and Jesse. They had been gone exactly 84 days, and if Shalimar could have seen the clock she would have been able an accurate hour and minute of the last time she had said her flippant "see you later" to them. She could still remember Brennan's mouth tasting like the cinnamon toothpaste he used, and the fact he had splashed on too much cologne. She looked back up at Lexa's expression of something akin to fear, or as much as Lexa would ever let show through her schooled mask.

Beau and Angel had taken on a lot of danger and responsibility when they found Lexa and Shalimar camping out in an old safe house. The ex-Dark Star operatives were more then happy to accept the challenge if it meant helping Mutant X. They had met up about 3 or 4 weeks after Jesse and Brennan were abducted. Shalimar and Lexa were getting by but had almost been caught several times. With Beau and Angel's help they were able to stay some place for more then a day or two, and they had been able to locate information on Brennan and Jesse. It was better then they had managed alone.

"I'm sorry Lex, I had to get out, and get away for a little while. I didn't mean to worry you and there was no way to let you know I was running late." Then, in a softer voice, "maybe we can get some prepaid cell phones or something to keep us in contact." They still wore their comrings, but they were more a symbol then anything else. Without Sanctuary's system they might as well have been plastic deco jewelry.

"Yeah, maybe," Lexa said as she turned to exit the room, as she reached for the door she paused, "I haven't given up hope yet either, Shal, but we need to focus on ourselves and our lives too, you know." She continued out without a backwards glance.

Shalimar lay on her side on her bunk. She knew that Jesse and Lexa were returning to the involvement that they once shared when the guys left and it wasn't easy on her either. Every time Lexa and Shalimar walked into possible holding places thinking they might have finally found Brennan and Jesse both girls' hearts cried out. There were a few times that their scent couldn't have been more then a few hours old.

Shalimar considered Lexa lucky for the simple fact that Lexa couldn't smell how close they had gotten, or smell the blood that Shalimar had on one of the handcuffs, and know that both of the guys were injured as well. She tossed and turned for a little while before digging Brennan's book out of her pack and opening it once again.

**_December 3, 2001_**

**_People are always surprising me. Toni going straight and agreeing to help Adam with all of the safe house systems is great. I just remember the girl who would love nothing more then to crack the system of a bank and re-route money all over the place just for the fun of it. She even cleaned up criminal records for John, Andy and me. I was shocked to find out that I no longer had any warrants listed. She is a great girl, and I'm glad that she and Jesse hit it off so well; although the excessive PDA's are enough to make me nauseous. She promised to keep in touch, so at least I'm not saying goodbye to an old friend again._**

**_The Valentine's are doing well from what Adam has told me. Parents will always be a mystery to me. How could Corbin think he was doing his son any good? I thought that real families were always supposed to be caring and accepting no matter what. I guess that was wrong. I know that my mom didn't even care to know me, let alone what I could do, and my step dad was just interested in teaching me how his belt felt when I messed up or he was drunk. As for my real father I used to wish that I could find him and ask him why, but then reality sets in and I just wish I could kick the crap out of him for all the years that I spent in that house. I want to blame my mom, but for some reason I never can. Is it a complex against abuse of women, I wonder, or is it the fact that she was so abused by everyone else that I never had the heart to blame her? Whatever it is I wish I had been able to make peace with her before she died._**

**_Christmas is coming up soon, and apparently it is a big deal around here. Adam, Jesse, and Shalimar are planning on a huge dinner, and they are already talking about getting a tree from outside. Emma is getting into the idea. She said that her foster family used to love the holidays, and bake all kinds of cakes, cookies and pies. Needless to say I am looking forward to that. I have no idea what to get anyone though. I barely remember what a Christmas is supposed to be like. I guess I will figure it out._**

Shalimar contemplated about their family, and how she Jesse and Brennan had grown together. They had been there for each other through a lot. Emma too had been part of it, and then Lexa. She had once said she would fight to the death if something threatened her family. Most days she wished that the solution to their problems was that simple.

**_December 26, 2001_**

**_I think I might actually be turning into one of those crazy people that enjoy the holidays. I actually got presents. Adam got me several more books, including Robert Frost and Henry David Thorough. I was surprised that Jesse got me a new game for the computer, and Emma got me a few copies of movies I had been talking about, and a few more books. Shalimar got me several new CD's I wanted and a few new shirts that I think are Boss and a bottle of my favorite cologne. Of course this is only part of my payment for being tricked into helping Shal get the damn tree. It stands at least 10 feet tall without the stand! Thankfully we had the snowmobile or we would have never gotten it back here. _**

**_I am not forgiving her anytime soon though. She starts out with asking me if I want to go out for a ride with her. Jesse and Emma are playing chess and Adam is out. I figure sure. It snowed a few days ago; it should be kind of pretty out, and I have been cooped up for a few days now because of the weather. It was pretty, pretty fucking cold! I was hanging off the back of the sled squeezing Shal for dear life; she drives like an insane person. I know that I am crazy driver too, but I actually thought we were goners a few times. She just laughed and went faster though. We must have gone about 10 or more miles when she finally stopped. Shal was just all too smug that she almost had to pry my death grip off her. I have no couth or suave in me when it comes to that woman sometimes._**

**_It was strange; I have never been a woodsy person by any means. I pretty much am happy with the city, fast food, smog, and cars, but for one moment I really appreciated the outdoors. We were standing on a ridge overlooking a valley still covered with the snow that had fallen and some rolling hills where a stream snaked through. There was a road and a few driveways leading to a handful of houses with smoke curling out of their chimneys, the trees had a frosted appearance with the snow still covering them. I felt like I was watching a living painting. It had to be after 9 at night, but it was so bright I could make out one of a dog running around on one of the lawns with some children making snowmen. Shal just stood next to me looking down at the scene and smiling. "I love to come up here and watch. Simple people living simple lives," she told me. I don't know why, but I pulled her into a one armed hug as we stood there. For a moment I felt closer to her then I have to anyone in a long time._**

**_That moment passed too quickly for me, especially with what followed. Next thing I know we are back on the sled, and careening through the woods as mock speeds. We only went for another 10 minutes or so this time. We pulled up to a tree that was easily twice the height of Shalimar, and she says this is it. I try to stop the inane question of "What's it?" Before it comes streaming out of my mouth, but too late! She walks over to the side of the snowmobile and out of a cover pulls a two person saw and smiles at me._**

**_For the next half hour we are sawing down this tree, and I really hoped I proved to her how bad of a choice I was to take with her. I almost smacked her in the head with the saw a few times because I kept bending it and snapping it back and forth. At least she was skilled enough for the both of us. She had the tarp ready to go, and pushed it down right on top and cinched it all up behind the sled while I stood there looking like Rufus the slack-jawed stooge._**

**_We didn't get back to Sanctuary till after 1 in the morning, and Shal decided it would be best to get the others to help us move it in the morning. I'll never tell her, but I that was my first experience with a real Christmas tree. She doesn't realize that she made my Christmas special just by making me feel like part of it. I guess that's why I was in such a good mood when Jesse and I were being ordered all over by Emma who was trying to coordinate the decorating. I think I'm glad Christmas only comes once a year though. It has been exhausting, and they want to take down the decorations in a few days. What's a guy to do? Maybe I'll beg for an assignment far away._ **

That was their first Christmas together. She remembered dragging him out to the bluff and the mess that they had almost made of getting that damn tree. He really had never been nuts about the outdoors, but he had tolerated it so well when she babied him. Shalimar remembered this being the first time she had really spent a lot of time alone with him outside of working together on assignments, and how she had felt a connection there as well. That was why she had wanted him to join her. She wanted to develop a bond with him. She had one with Emma, but hadn't achieved one with Brennan yet, at least not as deep, and wanted to be able to feel him better. He was part of her pack now, and she wanted him to know this. Thinking these thoughts she finally drifted off to a restless sleep with the book still clutched firmly in her grasp.


	4. Working it out

_I'd like to extend my thanks to everyone for the reviews. I'm kinda like a junkie with them. So please feed my need._

_I need to send a big thanks to Stephanie who has helped me with this since I first came up with the idea and kept me from giving up along the way. Second to Sara who has helped me fix so many of my grammatical mistakes. It just goes to show that good beta's can make a good story even better!_

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**4 Working it Out 4**

Shalimar awoke early in the morning as the grey of night was fading into the pink and gold of dawn. Putting on a pair of yoga pants she climbed to the loft and stretched then practiced some yoga and meditation techniques to center herself. Her dreams had been filled with pain. She watched as Brennan and Jesse were alternately tortured for information, and then watching as Adam was stuck in a stasis pod while Eckhard planned to retrieve Adam's brain for observation.

All and all she was more then happy to wake up early and leave the remnants of those dreams (if that is what you should call them) on her pillow. She jumped up and grabbed a bar on the ceiling and wrapped her knees around it doing upside down crunches; then vaulted to the floor when she heard a set of footsteps climbing the stairs. Angel walked up the stairs; Shalimar instantly noticed the worried frown that marred her pretty features.

"What's wrong?" Shalimar asked in a voice just above a whisper.

"I was going to ask you the same thing." Angel said as she began to stretch. "You have been closing yourself off for days, and I'm worried about you."

"I'm just trying to figure some stuff out." Shalimar said evasively.

They both stretched and practiced some moves for long moments without speaking. Slowly they worked into a sparring session; it quickly became harder and stronger. They began to throw punches and practice evasive maneuvers. The spar looked almost like a choreographed duet with each participant anticipating the others next move. After about an hour Angel called it quits.

"Shal, I'm not sure what your issues are, but you need to work them out or talk to someone soon. You are letting whatever it is eat you up so badly that you are losing yourself." Angel said with feeling as she gave Shalimar a hug and felt her cling for a moment. "Beau should be home today." Angel said with a smile in her voice, Shalimar had to smile for a moment.

Angel and Beau had been through so much together that they were almost an inseparable item now. Beau had only been gone since yesterday to see about a new place for them to reside. They had been at the warehouse for three weeks now, and needed to move again before the Dominion was able to find them. Padding softly back to her room, Shalimar grabbed her clothes for the day, and went in to take a shower.

Here with the water to drown the tears, she let herself cry. She hadn't been able to open up to anyone lately, and it bothered her. Jesse had been her confidant for a long time. The two of them had been at Sanctuary together for several years and had built a great bond. Then when she became closer to Brennan he was more often then not the one she found herself confiding in. A long time later she finally emerged from the shower.

She went to the kitchen/living area and found Lexa pounding away on a keyboard, frustration marring her pretty features. Walking to the coffee pot she grabbed a cup and filled it then poured herself a bowl of cereal and sat down by Lexa. She watched as Lexa keyed in locations and attempted another search.

"Any luck?" Shalimar queried, she could feel Lexa was still a little mad about yesterday.

"No. I can get into all of the safe house info, and check on most of the new mutants, but I can't find out a damn thing about what else is going on in the underground!" Lexa got up from the keyboard and walked to the countertop to get another cup of coffee.

Upon Lexa's return Shalimar grabbed her cup and set it on the table and pulled Lexa into a hug. She felt Lexa hug her back and smiled softly. She had begun to care about Lexa a lot, and Lexa's concern for Jesse had only increased the bond.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, Lex." Shalimar said trying to ease the tension.

"Shal, it's just so tough, I'm not a team person, I have never been one, and I just started to feel like I belong to something, then half our team is gone." Pulling away abruptly she grabbed her coffee and took a large drink, "I hate this feeling, because I've always been a loner. You and the guys changed that for me. Now I'm stuck with these sucky conflicted feelings!" She huffed as she plopped onto the stool.

Shalimar was only able to smile, knowing all to well the feelings of being a loner, but then the strange desire to be part of a pack. To then be accepted and wanted into the group was a strange feeling when you're not used to it.

Angel walked out of her bedroom, grabbed a cup of coffee and joined them. The three girls sat and talked for a while about the sales that were going on at the local stores. Lexa and Shal were in desperate need of new wardrobes. Both of theirs had been destroyed, and they had obtained a few others, but they were beginning to show the wear.

"Why don't you go online and find what you like and I'll go pick it up for you?" Angel offered.

"That's good, but defeats the purpose of going shopping." Shalimar said with a rueful smile.

"I know Shal, but we are running like to fugitives for now, and we can't afford to be seen in public places like that." Lexa said, "Besides we can still have fun shopping online, and my feet won't get sore from the 10 trips around the mall!"

The door clicked and a buzzing sound reverberated through the room. All three women were immediately on guard.

"Hello?" Beau's accented voice carried down the hall.

"Beau!" Angel shrieked and took off running almost tackling him as he walked into the room.

"Hey, Lex, I think Beau's back." Shalimar noted wryly

"Why Shal, I don't know what gave you that idea." Lexa smirked as Beau approached the table where they had been congregated.

"Welcome back big guy," Shalimar said as she gave him a hug, "bring us anything good?"

"Well the safe house is clear and ready. We can go tonight after sunset if you can be ready. It isn't more then an hours drive." Beau said looking proud of himself.

The girls began to take pity on Beau after the first 2 weeks and let him go on more of the location scouting missions, because it didn't seem fair to keep him locked up in a room full of hormones and estrogen.

The four talked animatedly for the next hour. Beau told them that the new safe house was located out by a secluded section of beach. Shalimar looked at Lexa and they both smirked with the idea of being able to get a bit of a tan while they were there. Beau had stocked the facility with food and water. He informed them that while the computers while slightly older were still in good shape, and in working order. Lexa decided she would have to do a further inspection once they arrived; Beau was the first to admit his lack of computer skills.

Shalimar excused herself with the pretense of beginning to pack her stuff and get ready to leave. She went in her room, but couldn't decide where to start. Procrastination was always a great motivator, so she grabbed Brennan's journal and flopped onto her stomach on the bed and began reading the next entry.

**_February 4, 2002_**

**_It was great to see Maddie again, even though she caused way to much trouble. Adam has her secure in the underground with a new identity, and hopefully she takes advantage of her new life. Sometimes it seems like that is a lot of what we do here, offer people second chances, or in my case fifth or tenth. The past month seems like we have been doing a lot of just that; it feels like I'm working for witness relocation. Angel and Beau are doing well or so Shal tells me, and Danielle and Catherine are safely out on the coast._**

**_What would I be as a split personality? Would it be a wild side and a quiet side or something different? Jesse and Shal asked the same things to Adam, and he told us let's hope we never have to find out in Shalimar's case. She is wild now; imagine having a feral with total animal instincts. Well I have to admit the 2 Emma's, while hot, and reminded me of those twins I met a few years back... Ok, mind out of gutter now. Emma would kill me if she knew about those thoughts, either that or do some funky mind thingy and make me regret it even worse then if she kicked my ass._**

**_Last night at the club was interesting. We have gone out together as a group on a few occasions, but this time was different. None of us went looking for anything other then each others company. I got a few numbers, and I think Emma and Shal had to take a shower to wash some of the drool off of them, but we came and left together. Jesse and I took turns dancing with the girls, and then we just watched them heat up the floor all by themselves. Those two are too hot for their own good sometimes. _**

**_I have to finally admit to myself that a life of crime wasn't as good as what I got now. When I first came to Mutant X, it was just another adventure, but now it has really become a home for me. I guess I can't believe I would find bigger and better thrills, but I have. Oh God, what did I do now? Emma's screaming my name, better go find out what's going on…_**

Shalimar listened to the sounds outside her room. Beau and Angel were in the other room talking about stuff and Lexa was still pounding on the keyboard. They were a makeshift family again, but they weren't the same. Things wouldn't be the same until they got Jesse and Brennan back, and she was willing to die trying.


	5. What to do

_Please see all previous chapters for disclaimers and begging not to sue me!_

_Thanks to all who have continued to support me and taken the time to let me know what they think. For the rest of you, thanks for reading! _

_Extending big hugs to Stephanie, Sara and Rachel again for all their help and time._

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**5 What to do 5**

The day was wearing on slowly and Shalimar knew she had to pack, but it wasn't like she had a ton of stuff to worry about. Everything she owned would fit comfortably within one duffel. Besides, it was just a bonus that her new form of entertainment was the journal of the man she loved. He would probably kill her when he found out she had read it, but they would cross that bridge when they came to it. For now it kept her close to him. As much as she hated reading about his women, it wouldn't have been Brennan without that touch of chauvinism covering the chivalry.

_**February 25, 2002**_

_**Well I guess I have come to realize a few things in the past few weeks. Jesse's father was a covert operative (I thought that was just a joke or a lie he told Jesse.) Adam knows our weaknesses too well, and I don't want to ever see another member of my team die.**_

_**Watching Emma lifeless was one of the scariest things I can imagine. I felt like I lost a sister. She is getting pissed at Shal, Jess, and me for being overprotective of her now. She doesn't realize exactly what we went through seeing her like that though. I have even caught Adam hovering over her a few times. For as distant as he acts sometimes, I think that he would have been devastated to lose her.**_

_**Shal and I had been trying to open Emma up to being a little looser. I guess we are going to lay off of that for a while now. It is weird to want to protect someone. That is what it feels like with her. I don't have a little sister, but that is the only way I can describe what I feel toward her. I want to make sure she is safe.**_

_**Shal on the other hand… I worry about her, but more in the sense that she will bite off more then she can chew before she realizes it. She was trying to take on seven GS agents alone the other day before Jesse and I caught up with her. She was doing fine by herself, but they zapped her once with their stupid shock sticks and Jess and I couldn't stop from jumping in and beating their asses. She was ok, but really pissed.**_

_**Jesse and Shal have a relationship that is strange. I see them talking together sometimes at night curled up together on one of the couches or going off together for walks. I wonder if there was or is something between them. I asked Jesse, and he just smiled. Emma seems to think that they have been together so long that they have a bond like siblings. Shalimar is very protective over him, and just about ripped my throat out when I wanted to fess about Jesse's father. I don't blame Jesse if he is sleeping with her. She is definitely one of the hottest women I have ever met, and she has this great infectious laugh.**_

_**Shal and I went out the other day to help retrieve a few new mutants from the clutches of the GSA. I have to say I love to watch the girl work. Any woman that can fight in those boots she was wearing deserves credit. She and I have started this weird flirtatious relationship. I don't know how or why it started, but it just kind of happened. It is fun to be able to joke with her. We aren't as close as her and Jesse but we are definitely developing some sort of bond.** _

Shalimar remembered the first time Emma had died. It was heart wrenching. When she took that breath and woke up Shalimar thought she would never be able to let her go again. The only reason she got through it again was by having Brennan and Jesse to lean on.

A smile crossed her lips at the thought of Brennan worrying about her like that. That smile had morphed into a scowl as he had theorized over her sleeping with Jesse. She thought about it and guessed from an outside point of view that it was possible. She and Jesse had been together for so long that the affection between them was only natural. They were beyond best friends. Confidants and siblings rolled into one. For some reason her bond with Brennan had grown while the one with Jesse had weakened. She promised herself that she would rectify that when they got back.

Lexa had a different way of venting her frustrations. Shalimar heard her clacking away on the keys of the computer terminal from her room. Lexa had been a loner for so long and had learned how to only rely on herself that she had a hard time expressing any emotion. She cursed as again one of the files she had decrypted led to another dead end. "Dead end. Shit! You stupid fucking piece of crap!" This was followed by several other strings of obscenities that made Shalimar wonder if she was best hiding in here for the rest of the afternoon. After a brief debate Shalimar decided to give her a few more minutes before she came out. After being locked up with Lexa for almost 3 months Shalimar had found different ways of approaching Lexa when she was like this. Rule #1, as she quickly found out, when Lexa was cursing up a blue streak, was to give her a few minutes to calm down. Shalimar was normally good at empathizing with emotions, but Lexa sometimes just wanted time to be angry. This was understandable. Shalimar took out her frustration in hard and grueling workouts and Lexa cursed at inanimate objects and worked herself into exhaustion.

Scanning down at the next page Shalimar decided to read the next chapter to kill some time until Lexa had cooled off and Shalimar could go help her.

_**April 15, 2002**_

_**I'm so bored. Maybe if I write it something will happen; the powers that be know that saying it hasn't helped, it has just netted me a nasty bruise on my arm from Shal hitting me. I have been stuck here with almost no action for almost a month. I have even started getting up early to spar with Shalimar. Does the girl ever sleep? She comes in later then I do some nights, and she is up with the damn sun! The GSA have been quiet lately, almost too quiet so something is bound to happen soon.**_

_**The last exciting thing to happen was Emma's old friend deciding to join the GSA and trying to infiltrate Sanctuary. I don't know what the hell Emma was thinking, but come on, a GS agent? I don't know if I would go looking for trouble with my old crew again. Girls are so weird. They do this bonding thing. Shal and Emma are always looking at each other and laughing or making little comments when Jesse and I are doing something. I don't think I ever want to know how the female mind works. Their bodies I think I have a good handle on, and I will be happy with that.**_

_**I have at least had some time to go and meet some new girls, speaking of. Emma can be fun to have with me just because her abilities. We went out to the club the other night and she landed me a few dates. I think she was getting pissed at me by the end though. I don't know why, I mean we were just having some fun, and besides it's not like she doesn't use her powers on guys. I got denied last night, though. I guess I will be flying with a different wing man for a while.**_

_**Jesse and I have been doing a lot of simulation fighting with the boredom that we have both been feeling. I thought that Adam was ruthless when it came to programming the simulations, but Shalimar has a mean streak I never saw coming. We both got our asses handed to us. Then we decided to take turns on creating the hardest simulation and bet on who would win. Jesse and I lost. Shalimar now has no dishes or mopping to do for a month. I think it would have been better to bet money, that way it would have been done and over with then. Maybe next time I should just play cards.**_

Shalimar had been training harder then ever lately. Part of it was to alleviate the boredom, part frustration, and a big part was the desire to be in top shape to kick some Dominion ass when she had to. Brennan had thought she was bad then? She had nothing but time to train right now, and having Angel and Beau to spar with was a big bonus.

Reading the journal was like taking a step back in time and watching the past happen again. Shalimar shoved the book onto her bed and began to pick up stuff and throw it unceremoniously in her duffel. She had most of the day left to pack, but there was little else she had to do. Maybe she would go help Lexa work on the decryption of the new files that they had stolen.

"Brennan…Jess… please hold on." She whispered her prayer to whoever would answer and got up to help Lexa. Maybe she could help, and they would find something.


	6. Into the looking glass

_Thanks for all of the fabulous reviews. They are greatly appreciated and have helped me to get in gear and finish this story. Thanks especially to Stephanie, Sara, and Rachel for all of their help and time._

_I need to drop a warning here. The third journal entry gets a little graphic (sexually) at the end if you don't like or want to read that stuff. I have scaled it down considerably from the original, but if you want to read the original you can visit my website or send me a message and I will get it to you._

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**6 Into the Looking Glass 6**

For some reason Shalimar never remembered Sanctuary being this boring; they spent lots of time sitting around and doing nothing. Shalimar had left her room to check on Lexa, and found that obviously she hadn't given her enough time to calm down.

"Would you like some help?" Shalimar ventured as she approached Lexa.

"Right now, no. What I want is one of these stupid files to lead me to something productive." Lexa snapped.

"Why don't you take a break and let me have at it for a while?"

"No, I'm fine."

Shalimar took a deep breath and thought carefully before her next sentence came out. "I don't want you to burn yourself out. You have been working at this for hours now, and you really should take a break."

Lexa paused as she took in what Shalimar said and her face softened as it occurred to her that Shalimar was just a frustrated as she was. She swiveled on her chair to face Shalimar. "I will need help, but for right now I have to separate these files so we can get a better handle on them. It's more of a one person job. I'll come get you when I get them separated, and we can both work."

"Are you sure?" Shalimar felt a bit defeated, but glad to know that it hadn't turned out into the screaming match it might have in the past, "I feel like we are missing something, and I want to help you."

"I'm good for now, I'll come get you in a little bit, okay?" Lexa said more calmly but with an underlying look of wanting to be left alone.

Lexa was already at her wits end, and Shalimar knew that bothering her too much more was going to end up in the fight she was trying to avoid. While it would be good to vent some frustration, she wasn't in the mood right now.

Shalimar walked back to her room smiling to herself as she remembered the games that they would all pull to liven up Sanctuary. When it was just Jesse and her, they would always be hanging around and trying to annoy Adam. That was the best way for him to give them something to do; even though it was rarely a worth while chore. She felt a pang as she remembered Adam and the truths that had come out from the creator about him and life as she knew it. She took a moment and said a little prayer to anyone who was listening that he was safe. Now he was missing too, and they had less of a chance of finding him then they did Jesse or Brennan. The only good part that she and Lexa had noticed was that they had been holding Jesse and Brennan together for the most part. They were always in the same buildings if not in the same rooms together.

The day was dragging on as Shalimar impatiently waited to go to the new safe house. She flopped on her bunk once again and looked down at the journal and started delving into the next entry.

**_April 29, 2002_**

**_Why, is it that everyone is accusing me of being too protective over Shal? Isn't it ok that I care for her? Adam, Jesse and Emma have all made a comment in the past few days about how I was going off about Zach. I'm not allowed to dislike a guy now? He was scum, and I have to admit I loved watching Shal kick the shit out of him. I was also really pissed that Adam pleaded with her to go back to him and bring him in for this assignment. I'm the damn ex-thief here. I think I should have some say in this crap. All I got was a pat on the head, and an 'Oh your just worried about her as a friend, right?' from everyone. Sometimes I wonder why I'm here._**

**_Then she does it. I don't know how, but Shalimar walked in on me last night, almost as if she read my mind, and asked me to go for a drive with her. I'm getting used to her extremely odd hours, so that didn't surprise me, but I was surprised that she asked me to join her. Shal has kept her distance from my tirade the past day or two and I figured she didn't want to fight about it. This is odd, because she is usually the first one who is anxious to pick a fight. _**

**_She didn't say anything else, just grabbed the keys to her jeep and we took off. I finally asked Shal where she was taking me and she told me she was taking me somewhere and it was a surprise. We talked lightly about stupid stuff, but nothing touchy. She pulled her jeep down a path off of the main road, and I have to admit I got a little nervous. I just had no idea what we were doing in the middle of nowhere at eleven o'clock at night. Finally we stopped and she smiled at me grabbed a bag out of the back and pulled or rather yanked me through this wooded area. I'm surprised I didn't twist my ankle or worse considering she was dragging me down a dirt path with all kinds of branches and crap all over. I think she realized how fed up I was getting when she told me it was just a little farther. _**

**_I was shocked as shit to see where she brought me. We finally emerged at this little natural hot spring. It wasn't as dark as it had been in the woods because of the clearing and the large moon overhead. I couldn't help but think that this was almost romantic. Shal pulled her bag off her shoulder and started to yank stuff out of it. She is the craziest woman I know. She jacked a pair of my shorts and had shoved them in her bag. She had also stashed a few beers._**

**_Once we were comfortably situated in the water, Shal and I drank and talked for a while about Zach, and she reassured me that I'm the only thief that Mutant X needs. She thanked me for looking out for her, and made me promise that we would always do that for each other. I don't know what the hell possessed me, but I just blurted out "How 'bout you, Shal, do you need another thief?" I think I was red before it finished coming out of my mouth. What the hell was I thinking? Why the hell was I coming on to her; it had to be the setting. I have never spent that much time with a girl, and not put the moves on her with the intention of getting in her pants. Shalimar is just sexy oozed into a wonderful package, and has a natural affinity to being a touchy-feely person. But, oh seeing her in that bikini did little to help my resolve. I care so much about her, but most of the time I think she is just winding me up for the sake of fun. She has to know that she is a little vixen, and I am the ass that pulled her into my lap while we were talking in the spring. Something didn't feel platonic, but it felt absolutely normal between us._**

**_Sometime during our outing we wound up on the ground side by side on the towels she brought talking about everything and anything. We each shared horror stories of past relationships, stories of our old lives, and what we thought about the future. I don't know why, but I was almost unnerved by this strange feeling I have been having toward her. I have never had a girl as a best friend before. I guess that is what I am feeling toward her. I know I care a lot about her and would do anything I could for her._**

**_We talked about Adam losing his memories and how she felt about that. It was probably the weirdest night of my life. I have to admit I felt a lot better by the end. When we got back to Sanctuary she gave me a kiss on the cheek and joked about tucking me in. I can't help it, when I'm with her I become a shameless flirt, but she always plays right back with me._**

When she stopped reading she noticed a few of her tears had dotted the page. She always had a fond memory of that night. She remembered how Brennan was stomping all over Sanctuary for the few days prior and snapping about all kinds of stuff. Shalimar had stayed away from him because she was too lost in her own thoughts to console him. It had actually been an indirect idea of Jesse's that they take the trip. Jesse had snapped at her that she and Brennan needed to get over their damn issues and would they kindly go do it quickly so that he and Emma could stop walking on eggshells.

Jesse had been jealous when Shalimar told him what happened. Jesse and Brennan had only a tentative friendship at that point. The two had always seemed to be vying for the alpha male position. Jesse was also mad that she talked to Brennan about it and not him, but after a long talk Jesse accepted that this was something that was better handled between her and Brennan. She had noticed how Brennan had always found reasons to seek her out, more so then anyone else, and Jesse had been quite jealous of the bond that she and Brennan had developed. Was it love that she and Brennan were feeling then?

Flipping the page she noted the date and saw a name on the page. Shalimar debated on skipping it, but then decided against that and read on.

**_May 15, 2002_**

**_I hate admitting to my fears, and even more, I hate being used. Needless to say, the past two weeks have sucked royally. I wanted to find Henry after that whole fiasco and beat the living shit out of him. He tried to kill all of us, but he couldn't be a man about it, he has to invade our dreams. I know it hurts to lose a loved one, but that was just too much. Adam and Emma tried to hide the burns on Shal's arm from me, but I think that just added fuel to the fire. Jesse just about freaked when we got back to Sanctuary, but I have a worse fear then I admitted to. I am amazed that Henry didn't dig a little deeper. I can survive without the team, but I couldn't take it if they turned on me. I used to think that having my powers used on me would be horrible, now after living through that, I think being abandoned and outcast by people that I have let myself know and care about would probably be worse then being shocked to death._**

**_I can't believe that I got sucked into Lorna's trap. I thought I was being cool, and she was a very hot piece. I just couldn't believe that she would want Tony like that. The thief in me had wanted to accept what she was offering. I know that my mind wasn't in a right state, but I feel so guilty for being stupid._**

**_I was going to give up everything I have worked so hard for just because of a hot woman and good sex. She was so hot in bed, but I don't know if that was actually her or her hormones doing that to me. I should have realized that something was really wrong when I was ready to freak on Shalimar. God, I screwed that up big time. We were having such a great time too, playing pool and hanging out. Then we go to retrieve that virus, Shal gets shot, and I thought I was going to have to knock her unconscious to bring her back to get treated. I'm glad she's better now. I get to watch Jesse get his ass kicked tomorrow. Shal admitted to taking a lot of pleasure in kicking Lorna's ass. I only wish I could have seen the look on her face. I felt bad because Shal had to hurt herself to punch Lorna. I can't believe I was such an ass. I think I'm going to swear off new women for a while. I can admit to being perfectly content with the two that I'm living with. I also know that they won't force me into submission for their own purposes. Oh who the hell am I kidding. Those two have me totally wrapped, but at least I know they genuinely care for me and would never endanger me or force me into that situation._**

**_It looks like I am going to be cooking dinner and being the house gopher for a while. I have a lot of making up to do. They have all told me they forgive me, but I am still having trouble forgiving myself for hurting Emma, not to mention the other crap I pulled. I know I am feeling sorry for myself, but damn it, I'm allowed. Emma came into my room tonight and gave me a hug; she then proceeded to smack me upside the head and tell me that my emotional state is throwing her off and to get over it. I guess when she puts it that way I had better do something about getting past it quicker._**

Shalimar remembered Lorna all to well. Lorna wouldn't be so lucky if she ran into Shalimar again in a dark alley, hell on the sidewalk for that matter.

Shalimar glanced at the clock and swore under her breath. She wasn't sure how much time she had used digging through Brennan's thoughts, but she was hoping it would have been more. With a sigh she returned her vision to the book. She had been trying to be patient and wait for nightfall so they could move. Lexa was still clicking away on the computer in the main room, and her enhanced hearing was able to pick up Angel and Beau in the next room talking in low voices about his trip.

**_May 22, 2002_**

**_When Ashlocke kidnapped Shal I was blind to anything. I just wanted her back and safe. Jesse wasn't helping matters. Adam was making me crazy with the wait till he makes a move game and Emma was being, well Emma. Adam usually knows what he is doing, but sometimes it drives me crazy because he doesn't let anyone else know the whole thing. I was just so glad to look into Shal's eyes and see the real her there. I have repeatedly played the moment over in my head when Shal kicked Ashlocke off of the catwalk. It was such a good moment._**

**_I am such an idiot though! What the hell was I thinking, trying to kiss Shal like that? Have I completely lost my mind! I know I care about her and worry unnecessarily about her, but where did that come from? One minute we're hugging, and I don't want to let her go, the next I can only think about how her lips would taste. I get around her sometimes and I feel like the loser I was in junior high. _**

**_Was I imagining what I felt between us at the safe house? Did I read her right? Did she want me too? Even if it was just for the moment, I can't help but wonder what would have happened between us. I've had this dream where she comes into my room and she's wearing this black negligee thing I saw her in the other night when I walked in on her brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed. It was satin and lace and the satin just barely covered her breasts and her crotch. I thought I was going to explode. She grabbed her towel, but not quickly enough for me not to imagine it on the floor. _**

**_I've got to write this dream for posterity if for no other reason. If she ever reads this I am a very dead man! That's not going to stop me though! She comes into my bedroom wearing that sexy negligee and I'm laying awake reading. I asked her if something was wrong, and almost swallowed my tongue after focusing on what she was wearing. She didn't say anything; she just crawled onto my bed with a smile like a cat that got the cream. A fitting analogy if I do say so myself... Her eyes looked like they wanted to devour me whole. I was enraptured from the moment I was able to smell her. Shal always smells like a temptress, but that night it felt like the smell surrounded me. She rubbed along the whole length of my body and kissed her way up my chest. She finally kissed me, and I felt like a drowning man being given air. I never wanted to let go of her lips. It was sweet and sensual. She was toying with me, that was all my feeble mind was was able to come up with. I can even remember how the fabric tasted as I teased her skin through it with my mouth. Her skin tasted salty and sweet at the same time as I kissed down her neck and shoulders._**

**_It felt like a lifetime and a second all in one. The next thing I'm aware of is my pants were off and she was overtop of me. I moaned her name, and she grabbed my head and pulled me into a kiss. If I had to die I wanted this to be it. _**

**_Then I woke up. It has been a long time since I have woken up with that uncontrollable ache. Morning wood was normal, when I was fifteen, but I thought I was going to scream, in pleasure or pain I didn't know or care at the time. Maybe I just need a girlfriend and need to get laid more often. Needless to say I have been avoiding Shal all day because I don't want to have to explain why I'm blushing when I see her. Where has my brain gone?_**

Shalimar almost choked as she read the dream. She was aroused and a little scandalized all at once. She didn't know that he dreamt of her like that. She also remembered that incident in the bathroom too well. He had walked in, just in a pair of blue silk boxers. She had berated herself for thinking totally carnal thoughts of them on the floor. Now that remorse was lost and buried.

Before she had a chance to process the entry anymore, she heard footsteps approaching the door and hid the journal under her pillow.

"Shal?" Lexa asked as she came through the door then stopped when she saw the slight flush to Shalimar's cheeks. "Whatcha doin?" Lexa smiled wryly.

"Nothing," Shalimar covered, studiously avoiding Lexa's gaze, "Why do you want to know?"

"Mmm hmmm, ok well when you're done with that, I need some help with the decryption, and I told you I'd tell you when I needed you." Lexa said with an air of disbelief.

"Yeah, give me a minute, and I'll be right out." Shalimar said as she finished folding a shirt to put in her bag.

As Lexa walked out Shalimar blew out a sigh of embarrassment and relief that she wasn't tormented any worse. She grabbed the journal and reread the entry. She couldn't believe that he would write that. She remembered the sparks that were starting to flash between them at that time though. She had woken up from more then one sordid dream about him, so why would he be any different?

Pulling herself together, she went to the bathroom and ran some cold water over her face and dried off. She tried to put those thoughts to the back of her mind as she went to help Lexa, but every now and then one would creep up and cause her flush with the thoughts of dreams and what she and Brennan shared. Shalimar sighed to herself; she really needed to get laid. The only problem was she didn't want anyone aside from Brennan. Swallowing that fact she tried even harder to push on and decrypt the files.


	7. Two for the Road

_I'd like to extend thanks to everyone who has sent reviews. It is very much appreciated. How else do I know if I've done something right or wrong? _

_This chapter finally gives you a glance at Jesse and Brennan, I hope you enjoy. _

_Thanks to Stephanie, Sara and Rachel for all of their help. ._

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**7 Two for the Road 7**

"Jesse," Brennan's hoarse voice whispered, "Jesse, wake up!" He hissed trying to get Jesse out of his stupor.

"Hmm, what?" Jesse finally replied his voice feeling almost twice as raw as it sounded, and winced in pain.

"Are you ok?" Brennan asked through the bars of his cage.

Jesse had been thrown unceremoniously on the floor in the cage next to him almost 20 minutes ago and had not stirred since. Brennan had heard his strangled cries through the heavy door and wanted nothing more then to rip the governor off and fry every last one of those bastards in the other room. Instead he was forced to listen to Jesse's cries as he sat in a puddle of water with his body bruised almost beyond recognition of its former physique.

They were being tortured every so often for information and sometimes, Brennan had begun to believe, for fun. The questioning involved everything from where the hideouts were that are used, location of safe houses, names and addresses of certain mutants, and what they knew about Adam's research. They had moved at least 8 times in the past few months and he was beginning to lose hope of ever being found. The only thing that he clung to was their constant questioning of information on Adam, Lexa, Shalimar, and underground information. That could only mean that they had not found the girls yet or been able to access Adam's database.

He and Jesse had made a pact the first night that they would die before they would tell these guys anything. His thoughts often strayed to Shalimar, and he said silent prayers to whoever would listen to him that she was safe, and that maybe she would be able to find them. Sometimes it felt like thoughts and memories of her were all the kept him sane. After the fifth or sixth move he had begun to lose hope though.

Jesse was holding up ok. When they were left alone for long stretches of time, sometimes what felt like two days or more, they would regale old stories and try to fight the bitterness by thinking of happier times.

"Bren?" Jesse ground out, pulling Brennan out of his daze.

"Yeah, Jess?" Brennan said as he moved closer to the bars to reach through and try to help Jesse to a sitting position until Jesse was finally upright with his back against the wall.

"They'll find us right?" Jesse's voice sounded like that of someone whose hope was almost completely lost.

"Would Shal or Lexa ever let us down?" Brennan said trying to keep a lilt to his voice.

"Well, Shal did start dating you…" Jesse said trying to smile, but realizing too late that his mouth was too raw to do it effectively.

"Jesse, you know I don't trust a lot of people, but you, Shal, and even Lexa have become my family I believe that Shalimar and Lexa won't leave us to die if they can do anything about it." Brennan said, hoping that they would be found soon. He didn't believe that either of them would last much longer.

Shalimar sighed for what felt like the twentyth time in as many minutes. She had been able to hack into several government databases and get some information on funding for Dominion activities, but nothing that would be of any use to them for right now. Lexa was next to her clicking away on her keyboard decrypting the last of the files that her contact had been able to sneak out of the Dominion before he went into hiding himself. Lexa had hardly slept at all and looked like she was going to fall asleep at the terminal.

"Damn it! None of these files has the slightest information on anything we need!" Lexa said as she smacked her hand against the desk. "Switch with me and see if I'm missing anything. Maybe I'm just too tired to see it." She said as she jumped off of her chair and tried to nudge Shalimar to move off of hers.

Shalimar relented after having Lexa stand over her for several minutes and went to the other terminal and looked over the information that was listed. About 15 minutes later Shalimar found something that looked promising.

"Wait a minute Lex!" Shalimar said, for the first time in days a feeling of happiness had bleeding into her voice.

"Please tell me it is something useful," Was Lexa's reply as she joined Shalimar at the terminal.

"Look at this," Shalimar said pointing to the screen, "it's a list of aliases that the Dominion uses for large transactions that can be tracked."

"I'm currently running on only a few hours sleep for this week, see if you can simplify this a little more for me." Lexa said trying to follow Shalimar's thought process through her hazy mind.

"We can track things they do!" At Lexa's 'yeah so' look Shalimar let out a groan, "Like property purchases and large shipments of supplies! Maybe get some inside on the corporate housing?"

"I can't believe I didn't see that before!" She got slightly disheartened as she looked at the list of at least eighty names on the screen, "They will take a while to track, though."

"Yeah, but at least we have a more solid lead to follow now. I mean most of these are dummy corporations that will lead back to nothing; the ones with solid addresses are the only one's we have to worry about." Shalimar said. She felt like a ray of hope had finally settled on her.

"I'll get started on this one, and you do that one. Let's see if we can make any headway before we have to leave, and that's not for another four hours." Lexa said plopping down on the chair and keying in information with renewed enthusiasm.

Angel and Beau came out hearing the sounds of elated joy for the first time in a long time. Lexa updated them on the found information as Shalimar furiously worked to track the name of the first corporation listed. Energized with new hope, all four began to work toward the tracking of the dummy corporations.

Three hours and a back ache later Shalimar retreated to her room for a small break. Angel and Beau sent her away after she almost punched the monitor; promising they would continue the search while she took a break, before she broke something. Shalimar had no idea how Lexa could sit there for so long and not go nuts. Shalimar literally stared and scanned things till her eyes crossed. Lexa had called it quits about twenty minutes before Shalimar and went to go lay down in the loft where they had a hammock to bask in the last hours of sunshine filtering in through the windows.

Shalimar wanted nothing more than to continue, but she had checked out about 6 leads and 1 was very promising and looked like they might have some luck. She stretched out her stiff muscles in her back and neck for a few moments then sat cross legged on the bed and pulled out the journal. She wanted to get to the new safe house and get settled in, but she had to wait almost 2 more hours till the sunset. The hunter inside of her was beginning to get aggressive and restless again. Trying to quell those urges she flipped to the next page in the book.

_**September 2, 2002**_

_**Well this summer hasn't been a total bust, but with the GSA out of the picture for the time and Ashlocke not making too many public moves, I have been relegated to doing safe house shuffles. Jesse, Emma, and I have been doing some work on the underground trying to keep everyone safe and taking advantage of the time to do upgrades on the security systems.**_

_**Shalimar went on a retreat about a month and a half ago. She has contacted Jesse and Emma a few times. She and I have talked a few as well, but I feel like she is managing to skirt all the big stuff or maybe I am. I guess the saying 'ignorance is bliss' is good enough for me. We never talked about what happened after Ashlocke, and she was hell bent on making sure everyone knew she was fine. She was purposely picking fights and starting trouble sometimes to prove it I think.**_

_**Adam sent her on this retreat thing to help her get in touch with her feral nature a little better, at least that's what he told us, I think he is trying to protect her from herself as well as Ashlocke though. I guess in our own ways we all are. She really is the heart and soul of the team. Jesse said she met someone up there. I overheard him talking with Emma, and they seem to think it would be a problem for me. I don't know why they think I would take it bad, but I guess I did lay into them pretty hard when I heard them talking. It's not like I've been missing any action this summer. Why does everyone think that I'm going to lose it about this stuff? Shal and I are like best friends, and we just hit a rough patch. Right?**_

_**Anyway, Jesse and Emma have been a little weird lately. I know they know my birthday is coming up soon. I hope they haven't decided to do anything to crazy. I just wanted to go out for a few drinks and enjoy the scenery at this new club that just opened. Of course I might be in trouble. I got Jesse so hammered at his birthday that it took me and Shalimar to get him safely to bed. **_

Shalimar remembered that 'retreat' well. She had met someone who at least helped her get her mind off of Brennan for a while. She just about screwed the guy bowlegged though. She knew that entering into a relationship with Brennan would have been hard, and they both danced around it so much. She was so attracted to him that it was tough not to act on it sometimes. The truth was that it was never wise to get involved with someone you work and live with. Things could have gone so wrong, but then again, things had felt so right.

Looking down at the next date she was reminded of what they had done for them that birthday, and had to read on to find out what he really thought.

_**October 1, 2002**_

_**I love my team, well I guess I should say family. That's what we have become. For as much as I think about leaving sometimes, something always keeps me here. I just can't believe they managed to do this for me.**_

_**The beginning of the summer I got myself a new mustang. It isn't exactly what I wanted, but I have really grown to like it a lot. It's a black convertible with leather interior. I had wanted a manual tranny, but I couldn't find one. I have to do a little work on the engine, but it is a great car, and I got it for a steal!**_

_**I was chasing down Ashlocke's guys a few weeks ago, and we went through this alley. I felt like such a fool afterward. I should have known they would have a trap or something planned. This psionic was able to move stuff with her mind, and managed to destroy the exterior of the car with a few dumpsters, and smash the windshield with some pipes and rebar that must have been laying around. I was almost skewered. The car was damn near destroyed. I was so pissed that they destroyed my new baby that I almost fried them. They are lucky I missed.**_

_**So I limped the car back home where Adam, Jesse, and Emma looked at me like I was nuts for wanting to fix it. I don't know why I wanted to so badly, but the car just had a certain attraction for me. I woke up the next morning and Adam said he had it towed away by the insurance company, and I would get my check in a few weeks. **_

_**Adam was even in on this. I was amazed. I think Adam was probably the only one who wasn't afraid to tell me that the car was towed. Little did I know that while I was storming around and making a fool of myself, Jesse, Emma, Adam, and Shal had decided to get the car repaired for me as a birthday present. Shal still hadn't gotten back yet, but Emma had talked to her and Shal knew a guy who would help, and he towed it that morning while I was sleeping. **_

_**So I stomped around Sanctuary for a few days, and tried to find another car I liked. Jesse told me he almost cracked and told me a few times when I was being an ass, but somehow managed to restrain himself. I was bugging Adam about the check from the insurance company about two weeks later, and he said he'd call. Little did I know that Shalimar was on her way back here and was picking up the car on her way home. **_

_**Emma had talked me into staying home on the night of my birthday, and made a cake, and we had some beer and fun. I was wishing Shalimar would have been home. I had talked to her shortly after the car was wrecked and she promised me she would be home by my birthday. Needless to say I felt a little betrayed. **_

_**Then I heard her voice over our comms and I thought I was going to burst! She had made it and hadn't lied. She asked us to meet her in the garage because she had something that she needed help bringing in. We all went out to the garage, and I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head. Shalimar was back, but she was sitting in my car! My entirely repaired and repainted car! I wasn't sure what to do, and the next thing I know Shal had wrapped herself around me in a bear hug, followed by everyone else. **_

_**The car keys were jingling in my ear when Shal pulled away, and she just laughed as I jumped in and ran my hands all over the repairs that were seamlessly fixed. I was so excited and felt like such a fool that I took everyone out for drinks that night (in my newly repaired car, of course), and spent as much of the night as I could dancing and hanging with Shalimar. Jesse wanted a few dances and so did Adam, meaning I had to share her. I don't know if they will ever know how much what they did means to me. **_

_**I'm glad to have all four of us and Adam back together though. It was kind of lonely without Shal around to harass me all summer. We're getting back into a pattern though. I don't know if we'll ever talk about what happened between us before she left (I can't help but think about it sometimes), but right now I don't care. I'm just worried about this thing with Ashlocke. He is still getting to her, and I hate hearing her scream at night. Emma is doing the best she can, but I'll be happy when this is over, sometimes I wonder what she would do if I just went in to hold her.**_

That was a good memory, she was so confused about coming home, but when she got back everything went on like she never left. With the exception of everyone wanting to talk to her and spend more time with her then normal. It was comforting though to have everyone she loved with her again and decided that from then on she wasn't going to run away from her problems, but deal with them as best as she could. Her family had always been her real strength, she just had to remind herself.

The screaming and crying in her sleep she never really knew about. She never knew that she had been screaming enough to wake him up. Jesse could sleep like the dead, and Emma knew and tried to help her through it, Emma was empathic, so Shalimar naturally thought that Emma was just picking up on her distress. He did come in and sit with her a few times when she got back, and the comfort was a tremendous help. There were so many nights when being held tightly all night wouldn't have taken away the wacky feeling, but it definitely would have been something better to focus on.


	8. Something New

_Don't own anything...blah, blah, blah..._

_I hope that everyone has liked the story up to this point. This is the last easy going chapter for a while! _

_As always thanks to Stephanie, Rachel, and Sara for all of their continued help. Thanks to everyone who has been nice enough to give me reviews. I'm kinda like a junkie for them these days. _

_I've been trying to post a chapter every day or two. I had to convert my files and do some editing so if you read the original you know there are some changes I have made here and there to the story. I hope it reads okay._

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The time to pack and leave had finally come. Lexa and Shalimar were more then ready to go, almost pushing Angel and Beau out the door. As nice as this place had been they both needed a change of scenery. The smell from the docks was also really getting on their nerves. The fish packing plant was only a few blocks away, and whenever the boats returned from their expeditions the whole place reeked of fish.

The move between was actually very uneventful, almost to Shalimar's dismay. She wanted something to happen, but then again didn't. She was tired of being bored, and tired of hiding, if something didn't break soon she might find herself hunting out the Dominion just to have something to attack.

The new safe house was much like it was described by Beau. It wasn't much to look at from the outside. It looked like a smallish house built on the edge of the beach just far enough and high enough from the water to avoid most of Mother Nature's moods. The house was shrouded in some trees and the beach was small, no more then a mile long, but had high rock faces on both sides offering privacy and creating a nice bay. The moonlight shone over it brilliantly reflecting on the water.

Shalimar smiled to herself as she looked off the porch, then frowned realizing how cold it was, and the fact that the beach would have little use unless the temperature rose about 40 degrees. Walking into the house she noticed a fully furnished den/living room taking up most of the front of the house, an open doorway leading to the kitchen on the right side, a door in the middle, and a hall on the left leading to what she assumed were bedrooms.

"Okay, here is the tour." Beau's heavily accented voice caught her attention. "In here the kitchen, I already stocked it so we should be good for a week or so. The living room, we have satellite TV, so we can at least watch movies." He said with a large grin remembering the few safe houses they stayed at with no real options for television.

He began to walk down the hallway and Shalimar heard Angel stifle a giggle as Beau's size made the house seem that much smaller. The two looked at each other and shared a knowing grin. There were three bedrooms and one full bathroom, which made the three women groan. three women, one bathroom; this could border on unpleasant.

Lexa continued to look around and caught Beau's eye. He shot her a knowing smile and said, "Did you think that is all?" He walked to the door between the kitchen and the hallway that looked like it could have been a closet door and opened it to reveal a closet. Then he hit a button on the side of the door jam and the closet revolved to show a set of steps descending into a lit area. "This is where the real safe house is!" He said with a triumphant grin as the others hurtled past him to see the lower level.

The downstairs was big, a lot bigger then the upstairs, probably close to double the size. It had computer banks set up and online, a gym, a mini lab, some hammocks against the far wall, and two separate bathrooms.

"Gotta give it to Adam, he knew how to build it right." Lexa said whistling at the room. The computers were set up behind the stairs, the lab opposite them, complete with table and most medical supplies. The gym was set up at the bottom of the stairs with a full bathroom on both sides of the basement. The hammocks were set up in the corner adjacent to the gym. It wasn't huge, but it definitely would give them some much needed room to separate and not grate on each others nerves.

"So how long are we planning on staying here?" Shalimar asked looking at the others.

"We're not sure just yet, but hopefully for a little while. We are far enough from most people that we can have some privacy and you two can get outside." Angel said with a knowing smile.

"I like it already!" Shalimar said as she bounded up the stairs calling dibs on the middle room facing the ocean.

"That's the brightest I've seen her in days," Beau remarked knowing how tough it had been on her the past month.

"Well, hopefully it will get better when we get all of these corporations figured out." Lexa said sitting at the computer bank and searching the data that was loaded and comparing it with her palm computer, updating and checking files. "We need a little stability to find Jesse and Brennan." The pain in her voice was unmistakable. For as hard as Lexa was, she wasn't ready to give up on the man that had worked so hard to win her trust.

Upstairs, Shalimar was already making herself at home in the room. She had unloaded most of her stuff, which took a span of less then five minutes considering that she had very few belongings anymore. Less then fifteen outfits and some boots, a few knickknacks that she had found at one of the safe houses, no doubt left behind by previous tenants, her favorite perfumes, and the stuff she had retrieved from Sanctuary were all she had left to her name. The bike that was in the garage was hers, and she was glad she had bought it when she did. It was a great bike, but she couldn't help missing her old one.

Once the unpacking had finished she looked around and decided to empty her pack from Sanctuary. She fingered the photo album and sat on the bed flipping though the pictures that were taken over the years. Was Brennan's hair really that long? Was Jesse's hair really that short? "Emma…" Shalimar barely realized she said the name aloud. She looked at the goofy pictures of her being fireman carried by Brennan to the water down by the beach and remembered going down the one day for a picnic and trying to tan. The next thing she knew she was over Brennan's shoulder threatening his life if he dunked her in the water. They had both ended up soaking wet. There were lots of pictures of her and Brennan; she smiled realizing that they had always shared a sort of kinship even when they were denying their attraction to each other.

She realized with a start that she was more sad seeing the pictures of her, Jesse and Brennan together then of seeing the ones of her and Emma. Adam used to say that time helped to heal the hurt, maybe he was right. It didn't hurt so much to be reminded of Emma now. She was happy to have the pictures to jog old memories. She realized that they hadn't added any since Emma died. Shalimar began to think that when they got the guys back, they should start a new album, to commemorate their new family.

She got up and pulled out the rest of the contents of the bag. She placed the unicorn snow globe on the dresser next to the porcelain cat curled in a ball and the ceramic dragon. Then Brennan's books were placed on the desk with his journal. The jewelry went in the top dresser drawer, and she checked the pack to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything when she felt something in the side pocket and slammed her hand to her head in a feeling of stupidity. The disk, Shalimar remembered, the one that she had found in the bay at Sanctuary and she was instantly furious with herself. With all the commotion when she had returned to the warehouse and the argument with Lexa she had forgotten all about it.

She still heard everyone downstairs, and debated over going down and trying to see what was on it while they were all down there. After a debate with herself she decided to wait until the others went to sleep. It was almost 11 o'clock, and everyone should be turning in soon. If it was nothing then she didn't want to tell Lexa that she had returned to Sanctuary if she didn't have to. Lexa would be furious if she found out Shalimar had returned there and risked getting captured or followed. No the prudent move would be to wait until they had gone to bed, and then she could see if there was anything valuable on the disk. She looked around and decided to read more of the journal to kill time until everyone else was asleep, which shouldn't be long considering the hour and the long past few days.

**_October 8, 2002_**

**_Boy was Adam pissed at Shal and me. I guess more so at Shal. She has kitchen duty for two weeks and bathroom duty for one. I feel like a little kid sometimes. Adam will assign us chores when he's mad sometimes and it is kind of funny. I guess he gets frustrated and treats us like children, but Shal is acting a little nutty. I don't have Ashlocke in my head so I can't really judge._**

**_Shalimar has been clinging to Emma lately when we are at Sanctuary. I guess that is good. Emma is getting a lot stronger and helping Shal to deal with this asshole who is trying to get to her mind._**

**_I never imagined resurrecting someone before, and I guess with all of the technology I've seen it shouldn't have been surprising, but I was definitely not expecting that curve ball. I'd have hated to see what could have happened if we hadn't stopped her. This mad man needs to be stopped, and I don't know why Adam is so hell bent on "correcting his mistake." I hate blind trust and that's what Adam asks of us a lot. It is unnerving to have to follow something and not know what I'm doing sometimes._**

**_Shalimar has decided that since she is back she needs to redo a lot of training. Jesse and I are about worn to the bone. She has decimated a lot of the simulations and pleaded with us to both take her on while she was blindfolded. Sounds easy, right? I think her trip helped to center her better or something because she had both of us flat on our backs inside of 5 minutes. Jesse was nursing a black eye and my damn arm still hurts. She still wants to go though. _**

**_Jesse and I decided to go out tomorrow. We invited the girls, but thankfully both have declined. I think some guy time is in order. Jesse and I actually caught ourselves being drug into a debate about shoes with Shal and Emma, they thought it was hysterical. That was the point that we both decided we needed to get out. We were talking about this bar over on Juniper. It is a dive, but we can go and drink ourselves stupid. There are a few hot girls that are dancers there. So the night should turn good. _**

**_The way things are going it looks like we won't get out much for a while. Ashlocke is back on the radar and Adam thinks a few other factions are up to something. I really wish Adam would tell me more. Sometimes I just want to yell at him for being so damn secretive. We are all part of this and I know that he wouldn't send us in unprepared, but it gets annoying dealing with some of the stuff that comes up halfway through these missions. _**

Shalimar was caught up in the past; reliving the pain of having Ashlocke in her head, and all of her attempts to fight her way away from him. Brennan and Jesse both took some hard beatings from her in training at that point. She had felt horrible, but at the same time she was so confused. No one had been able to help, and Emma had worked so hard on trying to keep Shalimar centered that it took a toll on her. She had noticed Brennan's reluctance at accepting blind orders, even then, but for some reason he stayed with them and continued the fight. There were so many times they all had questions, most of the times Brennan was the only one to voice them. Shalimar and Jesse had gotten very accustomed to Adam's ways and trusted him. Brennan never had that blind trust. He had always been a loner, and it was tough for him to follow direction without question. Shalimar had always admired what a capable leader that Brennan could make with some work. Now they were in a strange state of being. No true leader, they were more of a democracy. Lexa liked to be in charge, but Shalimar wasn't willing to relinquish her rights to a say in matters. The system they had now seemed to be working. She could only imagine what would happen when they were all back together.

**_October 30, 2002_**

**_There is always this feeling I get when things seem like they are too slow, but it is like the calm before the storm. It is in the back of my mind and in my gut. Emma gets it too from what she tells me. I guess being a psionic it is easier for her to pick up on not only moods, but maybe like a 6th sense where she can just tell. I just hate it when my instinct is right._**

**_I almost died again a few weeks ago. Shal and Emma saved my ass again. I hate electrocuting myself. It sucks because once I've lost control it starts arcing over me. This was all because of some radical militants who felt they never earned their dues. _**

**_Jesse could have been killed thanks to them, and it was all over money. They really weren't half as self-rightous as they thought they were. Looking back, we all were yelling at him to make himself solid again, but he was trying already so what was the purpose? The only thing that helped was trying to keep all his particles together by generating that electrical field. _**

**_I can't believe that we were all so stupid to take the bait like that, and Jesse taking risks like that. He can be so dependant sometimes, but then I see him do these amazing things without thinking anything about it. Jesse is one of the smartest people I know, but he has to already know that. Maybe I'll tell him one day because he really has to learn not to doubt himself. _**

**_I am so glad I don't remember the 70's. Aside from a lot of nice rides, they really had an awful style of dress. At least Shal was there with me, but that was also part of the reason we wound up where we did. I mean face it; we are most likely the only two that would have jumped first and asked questions later. We were lucky that Jesse was right behind us and managed to figure out what happened. Shal told me about young Adam, and I have to admit when I saw him, she was right. He was still so open and naïve. I never really imagined what he was like before all of the betrayal and corruption. I'm just thankful that we managed to stop Ashlocke from altering his younger self without causing changes to the past. I'd hate to imagine what Ashlocke would be like as an almost invincible being._**

**_I've never been a nature lover, Adam and Shal both know this, so I don't know why Adam insisted that I go with Shal to that forest to research that wild being. I actually offered to do Jesse or Emma's chores for two weeks so I could get out of going. They just laughed and told me that it would be fun to share a camper with Shalimar and do some exploring. Emma even went as far as implying that maybe I'll say something about my feelings. I could have smacked her for that. Damn empaths! Jesse just told me that I was a big boy and not to worry because Shalimar could take care of me if I got scared of any creepy crawlies that freaked me out. Sometimes he has way too much fun at my expense._**

**_So instead of a little recon mission and some fun with Shalimar, I come back with a colony of bug bites, and a sick Shalimar. Yeah, fun times all around. I don't think I will ever truly understand the feral psyche; Shal is so territorial, but at the same time so empathetic to her own kind. I know she is scared that she will mutate into that, and I guess that has left some doubts in my mind about what is in store for all of us. It is just sick what people will do to others. How messed up do you have to be to do experiments on another human being?_**

**_Adam sat with all four of us the other night and reassured us that he is doing all of his scans and keeping an eye on us to make sure that doesn't happen. I have a tough time believing him sometimes. We all just recently went through what he calls a 'mutant growth spurt.' What's going to happen when it happens again and again? Will I just turn into a ball of energy and dissipate? I hate thinking about the bad, but when the doubt presents itself, it is tough not to dwell on it._**

Shalimar gazed at the page and the fear of unknowing reared its head in the back of her mind. They were all still walking time bombs. No one knew if they would die tomorrow or not. Seeing what had happened to other mutants who had their powers mutate out of control was scary. They didn't have Adam to do scans and research their changes anymore. They were on their own.

Worry over Jesse and Brennan and how they were fairing didn't help. Half the time Beau and Angel were forcing her and Lexa to eat and take care of themselves better. It was difficult not knowing. She was almost envious of her ignorant self who thought that Adam would always be there and he had a handle on their mutations. She had been trying so hard not to think of it, but the fear coiled itself in her stomach and refused to leave.


	9. Secrets and Hope

_Hello everyone who has been nice enough to keep with me through this story! I need to say thank you all so much. I also need to warn you that the going is gonna be rocky after this chapter. I hope it keeps you on your toes and wanting more. _

_Oh and to answer the questions I have gotten... I am working on finishing this story, and it is posted in more fully on my site but at a more adult rating. I am coming into the last few chapters now, but posting here I have to review my chapters and make sure they stay ensconced in the T catagory, which is why the whole thing hasn't been posted here already. I hope I've done an okay job so far, if not let me know and I'll cut it down more. I have also made a few changes/additions/corrections from the original. I try to update my site and here as often as I can. It all depends on R/L. _

_Thanks again to Stephanie, Sara and Rachel who have kept me going through all of this and helped me make this story all that it is._

**On with the next chapter...**

It was just after midnight; Angel and Beau had just bid her goodnight as they made their way to bed. She could hear Lexa downstairs and catch the faint whisper of her yawns every now and again. Shalimar was hoping that by not helping Lexa decode the companies she would lose steam and go to sleep soon. So far it had been a losing battle on Shalimar's end. Glancing down, she read on.

_**November 5, 2002**_

_**Well that's it, no more Ashlocke. I can't say I felt one bit sorry or sad to see him go. I feel worse for Adam. He has been dwelling on the monster he made and beating himself up over it. Ashlocke was a monster without a conscience or feeling. Emma and Shal have been trying to talk to Adam, but he has been distant, even with Shalimar, which is bothering her even more then she will admit. She has been with him for such a long time that she usually knows what to do to get him to talk. I think it upsets her more then she lets on when Adam shuts her out. Emma has been trying too, but she hasn't had anymore luck then Shal.**_

_**On the bright side, Shalimar has been party girl for the past few days. She took all of us out for drinks last night. She partied like a crazy woman. Emma actually cut her off from any more alcohol. I have to admit I was enjoying watching a tipsy Shal too much to even think about how much she must have drank to get that way. I forget sometimes that she has a higher tolerance because of her healing abilities. I think I finally realized how far gone she was when she was grabbing and grinding on several of the guys at the club; she must have put down a few more then I saw. Jesse was borderline wasted too. I didn't realize until too late that both he and Shal had put down an entire bottle of tequila and had several beers a piece. **_

_**Emma and I had to cart their sorry butts home and that was a mess. Emma had to pull over three times on the way home to keep Jesse from puking in the Audi. Each time I had to help him in and out of the car. This was fine until the last time when he sneezed and massed out on my foot. Thankfully I just broke a toe and not the whole damn foot. It still hurts like a motherfucker. **_

_**I tossed Jesse in the front seat and hopped in the back with Shal who grabbed my already injured foot and yanked me into a lying position across the seat to pull my shoe off and inspect the injury. This wouldn't have bothered me under normal circumstances, but moving the world too quickly when one is inebriated is not a good idea. So I just about puked, which would have killed my track record of not puking since before I turned 21. Shal yanks off my shoe causing me to howl in pain and starts prodding at my foot. I have a decent pain tolerance, or at least I have always thought so, but I was ready to cry like a little girl when she told me to hold on and reset the bone right there in the back of the moving vehicle. While she was drunk.**_

_**Needless to say Emma was about ready to kill all of us when we got home. She was the only sober one and had to help Jesse to his room then make sure he was set so not to vomit and asphyxiate himself. Shal and I leaned on each other, me hobbling in pain and her giggling the whole way.. I think Adam will kill us when we all show our faces. I figured I'd stall and write for a little while before I face the music. I hear a few other people outside so I think I'm doomed. I still can't figure out how my toes got taped together so that they would set right.**_

Shalimar smiled, remembering giving him some pain medication when she got him into his bed and taping his toes together so that they would heal straight. She let him be confused for a few hours before finally giving in and telling him. He had passed out almost as soon as he hit his bed. When she had been ready to leave she gave him a kiss on the forehead and he grabbed her around the waist, trying to pull her onto the bed with him. She had been too intoxicated to control her balance properly and collapsed on top of him. He had just smiled and laughed as her weight settled across his chest; he whispered her name and told her she always smelled so good and sexy, and then gave her a soft kiss on the lips. She had been so surprised that by the time her brain caught up, he was already letting out soft snores and was sound asleep. She had always kept that her secret. She knew he had his and there were several nights she didn't remember getting to bed after they were out drinking, so she was sure he had one or two he never told her.

_**November 20, 2002**_

_**I never cease to be amazed how much Adam actually knows about us and our past. No matter how much I have tried to ignore it and hide it, he still found out about my real father. I'm glad he never said anything to anyone else, but then Emma took the job upon herself. God, I was so pissed at her. She has apologized, and we had a long talk. She was good to talk to. It felt good to air out some of my thoughts. Emma's got this way of getting you to talk without realizing it, and I find myself trying to avoid her sometimes because I hate blabbering like someone who can't control their emotions or their mouth. **_

_**As much as I started to enjoy being with Miranda in New Hope, I'm glad that I'm home. It was odd feeling like a completely normal person for a while. I've had my powers for so long I've forgot what it was like not to have them. I feel bad that Miranda wanted to stay there; I wonder what would have happened to us if she had decided to come with me. She was so sweet and so innocent. I haven't met anyone like that in so long I couldn't help but be attracted to her. She would have so much trouble in my world though. Miranda was so willing to open her heart and fall in love after just a day that it was scary to me. I know that maybe I shouldn't have taken advantage of her like that, but I was very attracted to her and she never said no or asked me to stop. I don't know if I'm feeling guilty or just sad that life has thrown me another curve ball. I haven't really had time to go over it all. Who knows maybe I'm just being an ass. All the same it's my life and my choices. Maybe Emma's scolding me is making me have a guilty conscience. **_

_**It says a lot about people that a community was kept from the outside world and still managed to have such a corrupt side to it. It makes me wonder what humanity is destined for. I still find it amazing that this guy was able to make that town vanish like that. I think I would go nuts if my world was that small though. It couldn't have been more then two square miles. I did like the idea of having lazy days in the sun with no real motivation. I'm kidding myself though. I have always been an action junkie and eventually that would have gotten me in a lot of trouble there.**_

_**Shalimar has been avoiding me again. I don't know what her problem is exactly, but she saw me tonight and didn't run the other way, which is a first since I've been back. The past two days she wouldn't even eat dinner with us and put on these 'come get me' outfits and went out without a word. Jesse said that she is working out her issues with me. Of course he gave me the old stand-by line of 'if you want to know, you need to talk to her.' I feel left out of something sometimes. Lately she has ******__reverted _to her old routine of lying on the couch with Jesse and speaking in hushed **_whispers _**with him. I wish she would just tell me what the hell her problem is. I hate it when she is pissed at me. Hopefully it will all blow over in another day or two. Is she mad because of Miranda or because of something else?

Shalimar sighed and put the journal down in her lap. A stray tear slid down the side of her cheek, and she couldn't find the energy to wipe it away. She never remembered crying as much in her life as she had in the past three months. Shalimar remembered Miranda and New Hope all to well. Shalimar also remembered how Brennan acted when he came back, withdrawn and uncharacteristically quiet the entire trip home. She thought that he might really leave that time, and it would be over a girl... maybe it hurt more knowing that the girl wasn't her. That was the part that got Shalimar's ire up. She purposely baited him for several days daring him to leave, but finally gave in to the wounded stares and the attempts to get close to her again. He was her friend first and foremost. It had been difficult to deal with her conflicting feelings though.

Taking a listen, and still hearing Lexa clicking away downstairs, she looked down at the next entry.

_**December 3, 2002**_

_**It's a twist to think about different life forms invading our planet. I mean we don't even have a handle on human and animal life and now there might be something else in the mix too. I just have to ask 'who would ever think to drink someone's spinal fluid?' That is just disgusting to think someone spent time researching that and trying to figure that out. Maybe aliens have way too many issues. If that's what they really were.**_

_**I can't begin to say how tired I am of Jesse and Emma harping on me for how I act whenever Shalimar is interested in a guy. I mean, hell, I swear sometimes that Emma's sworn off relationships and sex all together sometimes so who's she to judge anyone. I almost told her to go get laid the other night. I am glad I restrained myself but man if it wasn't close to crossing my lips. Jesse on the other hand is allowed to get all upset and fly off the handle when Shalimar got kidnapped. I held my cool that time, but no one says that he needs to lighten up about her. I was scared for her too, but I didn't freak, well much.**_

_**Shalimar at least stopped avoiding me all together. I guess we are able to get back to where we were before, where ever that is. I know she was mad about the whole Mark thing, but as much as I didn't like seeing her with him, I also didn't like the fact that he is a scientist that was associated with Genomex. Of course Emma had to throw Miranda in my face, but I didn't think Shal was bothered by that at all.**_

_**Shalimar, Jesse, and I went out last night to Jesse's friend's house. It was nice and a lot of fun. Emma had bailed stating that she was feeling sick all day and didn't want to be a downer. She made us go without her but when I tried getting out of going because I had no idea what kind of party this would be I was forced to get dressed and go. I'm glad I did go though. It was a lot of fun. Most of the girls there were with guys, so I didn't have much luck in that department, but I won a few hands of poker and met a few of Jesse's friends. **_

_**It was the guy's parent's beach house, and they were throwing a party, but it wasn't like a keg party where you don't know half of the people that show up. They knew and had invited most everyone, and the friends that came along were treated nicely. Not completely what I expected from rich people.**_

_**Shal and I took a walk towards the end of the night. We couldn't find Jesse, but we had a feeling he was spending time with a girl he has been seeing on and off for a few months. Shalimar had been playing Asshole with a few of the guys and kicking their butts, until she wound up being the Asshole and was stuck drinking seven shots down in less then an hour. She decided she needed to go walk it off. I saw her walking out and decided to join her. It was nice. I like talking to her, and she was in an extremely chatty mood. I will have to remember that slippery nipples make her that funny. We walked for about an hour before Jesse called us and asked if we were ready to go home. Shal was feeling good and wanted to play in the water. So like the two overgrown kids we are, we had a splash fight and got soaked in the cold water. Jesse just shot us both a very angry look when we met him by the car rather wet. **_

_**Shalimar fell asleep in the back of Jess's car on the way home. She was tired and still a pretty tipsy when we got back to Sanctuary so I picked her up and carried her to her room. Mostly because I was tired and wanted to get to bed myself, and I couldn't do that until I knew she was safe in bed. **_

_**Once I put her down in her room and helped her get her jacket off, I got the shock of my life. She started ripping all of her clothes off in front of me, complaining about being wet from the water fight. I know my body temperature had to rise a few degrees at that moment! There is a dilemma in the male psyche, watch the hot woman strip and ogle, or do the proper thing and cover her up. At that moment I just couldn't think. I wonder if my brain just short circuited. Before I could open my mouth and stop her, she was out of her skirt and top and only in this blue meshy bra with pink hearts and matching panties. Somehow my brain started functioning when she unhooked her bra. I grabbed a blanket off of her bed and put it around her before she bared all. My mind and body were in such a state of argument that I didn't realize she had pressed her lips to mine until I felt her hands curling in my hair. **_

_**I didn't think she had that much to drink at the party. I vaguely hoped that no one at the party slipped her anything in her drinks. I was worried about her but I also knew I needed to get away from her before we did something that we might both regret.**_

_**I don't know how I stopped her. I just remember wrapping her tightly in the blanket and boosting her into bed. Then I kissed her on her forehead and left her there. She tried to pull me up there with her, and a part of me wanted to join her and say damn the consequences. I couldn't do it. I'm too scared to think of where this might go. I took off out of her room like she threw me out. Leaving her confused and wrapped in a blanket on her bed. I needed to put some space between us. This kind of thing never works out for the best. I have seen it fail too many times with the guys who I used to run with. Shal just confuses the hell out of me sometimes.**_

_**Emma was having a tirade of some sort at Jesse and woke me up this morning. I came out about the same time as Shalimar who looked a little confused as well. Emma has been really bitchy lately, and I think it is starting to get on everyone's nerves. We all love her to death, but she has seemed like she has been on a PMS trip the past few weeks. Today she was fine though. Shal said that Emma's powers are getting stronger, and it is making it tougher for her to filter emotions, but lately I haven't seen her meditating as much or try talking to Adam about it. Even Jesse's mellow temper was being stressed a few days ago. Maybe I need to say something to Adam. **_

_**Shal asked me what happened after the party; she didn't remember stripping in front of me, and I decided to tell her a PG version of the truth. I left out the kiss, and how I was ready to lose my will power. I left her to think she stripped herself after going to bed. I don't know why I lied, but I'm afraid of what the truth might do to us.**_

Shalimar knew exactly how he was feeling. Every time she walked in on him working out or wearing a towel out of the shower, she couldn't help but feel this magnetism toward him. She also felt ashamed for putting him through that. They had been circling each other for so long, but both were afraid to make a move.

Emma had confided in her about her powers becoming stronger and everything they felt she was feeling too and could hardly keep it out. Adam kept having her do more mind exercises, but it wasn't helping as much.

Shalimar rolled over and looked at her clock. "Damn Lexa, are you ever going to go to sleep?" Shalimar whispered under her breath.

She heard her clicking away on the keyboard, then as if she had heard Shalimar's whispered plea, the typing stopped. Lexa had let out another yawn, and Shalimar could hear the chair creak and footsteps clicking toward then up the stairs. Shalimar picked up the journal and tried to be casual. She wasn't sure if Lexa would open the door to say goodnight or not, so she opted to look engrossed in something.

"Shal? You're still up?" Lexa called as she gently pushed the door open and peered at Shalimar resting against the headboard of the bed reading a book. "I saw your light on and wanted to make sure you were alright."

Shalimar looked up from the journal and gave a small smile, "Yeah, I'm good, just having trouble falling asleep, new place and all, you know." She prayed that Lexa bought the ruse. Lexa had been so on edge the past week that Shalimar was beginning to think she was going to hit levels of extreme paranoia.

"Oh, alright. If you're really that bored you can work on some more of that information." Lexa hinted

"You know what that sounds like a good idea, you go get some sleep and I'll work on it for a little while!" Shalimar said, suddenly springing off the bed and sliding the disk into her jeans pocket. She gave Lexa a tug on the shoulder as she bounded through the door then pushed Lexa down the hallway toward her new room. "Go get some sleep, I'll call you if I find anything earth shattering!"

"Um, ok, I guess, let me know if you need anything." Lexa said trying to keep her voice down so not to disturb Angel and Beau in the next room.

"Ok, go get some sleep!" Shalimar said as she tried not to run down the hallway and to the sub-level door.

"That girl is one big emotion trip sometimes." Lexa whispered to herself as she shut her door and fell onto her bed. She barely remembered to pull off her shoes before climbing under the covers and drifting into dreams of strong arms and blue eyes.

Downstairs, Shalimar took the disk out of her pocket and put it in the disk drive. Suddenly a familiar voice echoed faintly through the speakers of the computer.

"_I'd hoped that you would return and find this, Shalimar."_


	10. New Horizons

_Check me out, I managed to get this out quick! Hope you enjoy!_

_All the disclaimers remain the same... I own nothing, I'm just borrowing, blah blah..._

_Thanks for the reviews and interest. I'm glad this is going along so well. This chapter begins the real ride into the big story. I would love for you to just let me know what you think. _

_Thanks as always to Stephanie, Sara and Rachel! The best I could ask for!_

**10 New Horizons 10**

"_I'd hoped that you would return and find this, Shalimar." _Adam's voice drifted through the speakers on the computer, and Shalimar had to bite her tongue to keep from screaming out loud_. "I don't have much time to tell you this, but first I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was alive, and I'm sorry that I'm not able to be with you all now." _

Shalimar stared at the computer screen, tears coursing down her cheeks. Adam was once again trying to help them. After all that had happened, he still hadn't abandon them. "_I've uploaded all of your, Lexa, Jesse, and Brennan's medical files onto the disk. I can't tell you how to save me, but I can tell you how to save Jesse and Brennan."_ Shalimar let out a startled gasp, _"I have information for a contact loaded on here as well. I know that you and Lexa have tried to rescue them several times, but with his help you will be able to find and hopefully save them successfully. Your old pass codes will access the information on this disk."_

Shalimar started keying in her old pass codes to gain access to the disk's information while listening to Adam talk. She wasn't surprised that Adam remembered her pass codes and used them for her to gain access. It was just something Adam did.

"_Shalimar, you and Lexa have to save Jesse and Brennan. The Dominion is wearing them down; this contact will help you find and set up a retrieval for them. I can't do anymore at this time, but if I can, I will find you all again."_ Adam's voice stopped and Shalimar continued to access the information on the disk, thinking how six months later Adam had returned to their lives. A part of her chided the other part for ever doubting Adam, but after almost six months she had begun to lose all hope of ever finding or hearing from him again.

Being no novice at hacking and computers, Shalimar quickly ran several scans on the disk to make sure that no outside lines were being accessed and that the disk was not acting as a homing beacon for the Dominion. Shalimar matched the voice recognition with Adam's and felt a thrill run through her as it confirmed a match. She checked and re-checked all of the connections and reviewed the disk for anything that might be a tip-off of a trap. She could not find anything that was cause for alarm. Pulling up the contact information, she stared at the name and the picture that was attached to it, Ian Massett. She accessed the database that she and Lexa had compiled from the remnants of the old Sanctuary system with data they had scavenged at the safe houses they had been at, it wasn't a complete list but fairly comprehensive, and ran the name and photo. He came up as an unknown whereabouts and very little information was available on him. The picture listed in their database was younger, but definitely the same man.

Shalimar could feel herself practically vibrating with excitement and anxiety. The address that was listed for contact was an email address, no phone or location. Further searches retrieved the last known address almost fifteen years ago, and that was with his parents, who were listed as deceased. The house had been through several owners since that time. It hit her like a ton of bricks; she had to wake up Lexa!

Bounding up the steps taking two and three at a time, she ran down the hall to Lexa's room and began rapping on the door, completely uncaring to the fact that it was after two am in the morning. "Lexa, wake up!" Shalimar called, turning the knob and carefully entering the room so as not to completely scare Lexa.

"Are we under attack?" Lexa asked quickly looking up and then processed the lack of attack noise, with the exception of Shalimar's excited face and voice, and fell face first into her pillow.

"No, you have to come see this!" Shalimar said.

"It can't wait a few more hours?" Lexa moaned into her pillow. She had just gotten Jesse alone, and they were on a beach and the cute cabaña boy just brought them refills on their Mai-Tai's. "Please tell me this is worth getting out of bed for." She relented, dropping her feet to the side of the bed and padding barefoot downstairs after Shalimar.

Beau and Angel, hearing all of the noise Shalimar had made, were now awake and curious as to what the excitement was all about, and followed the blond and brunette down into the sub-level. There Shalimar replayed the entire disk for the other three people.

"Where did you say you got this again?" Lexa's blue eyes pinned Shalimar into place. She had replayed the message three times and looked over all the encrypted information, looking for any sign of foul play or a trap. So far it was passing Lexa's test as legit.

"I didn't," Shalimar said resolutely, "All you need to know is that I found it, and the information on here can help to save us all."

"Shal," Lexa sighed, "How do we know this isn't a trap?"

"It can't be, that is Adam's voice. I ran it against the vocal equalizer, and it was a dead on match." Shalimar said, getting frustrated. "Why can't we contact the guy and see what he has to say?"

"B e c a u s e… It might be a T R A P!" Lexa said feeling annoyed that Shalimar wouldn't tell her where she got the disk, and that Shalimar was so willing to trust this information that had seemingly dropped into their laps. "Shal, we have to be cautious, we have come too far to be caught by the Dominion now. Now tell me where you got it." Lexa finally decided to try a different approach after a few deep breaths to avoid screaming.

"I can't." Shalimar said, staring at her boots.

"Shalimar, maybe if you told us how you got it we can decide how dangerous it might be." Beau's voice cut into the tension with its thick tenor as he glided between the two women who were now trying to stare one another down.

"Shal, it's just that this all of a sudden turned up, and you were concerned enough not to have us know about it before this. We have to be careful." Angel added, seeing Shalimar's resolve beginning to fail.

"I got it at... Sanctuary." The last word was so faint on her lips it was barely audible.

For a moment the world had gone silent as the four stared among themselves.

"Shal, is that where you went the other day?" Lexa slowly asked, almost unsure of how to react.

"Yes, I had to." Shalimar said softly, but defiance filled her eyes and face.

Lexa studied her for a minute deciding on the best method to approach this subject then simply asked, "Why?"

"I had to go see for myself, and I knew you would freak if I told you where I was going." At Lexa's subtle nod she continued, "I needed to do this for myself, to put the past to rest. I didn't really think the disk would be important, I figured it was something that the Dominion left behind after they raided Sanctuary. Then when I got back we were fighting over stuff, and I forgot all about it." Shalimar's eyes were the only thing that belayed the conflicted emotions she was feeling.

Lexa took a moment and looked at the disk, then looked at Angel and Beau to see if they were going to add anything. Both ferals looked back at her with the same look of uncertainty. "Shal, we've run all the tests and checked up on this mutant, but do you really think this isn't a set up? Adam was cloned from the creator; it could be another clone or even the creator himself toying with us to come out of hiding."

Shalimar looked at her for a moment, "No… maybe… I don't know, but what I do know is that we aren't getting anywhere on our own, and maybe we need to take a chance."

Twenty minutes later, Lexa was typing an email to Ian Massett. They had agreed on finding out what this guy knew. Lexa routed the email through as many servers as possible and set up a dummy account to check for a reply. Shalimar stood by her, shifting back and forth on the balls of her feet with excitement and nerves. Once the discussion had ended with Lexa and Shalimar making their decision to contact Ian through as much security as possible, Beau and Angel returned to bed.

Lexa who was now awake, but still groggy, began to brew a pot of coffee while Shalimar accessed their medical files that were on the disk. Listed on the disk were files on each of their treatments and changes in their genetic structure. Adam had included what treatments were performed on who and when. Shalimar found no information pertaining to their estimated dates of death. Living with that thought for the past six months had been hell, and she hated knowing that the Dominion had manipulated them all so easily. Their unstable genetic structure was a plague to all of them and without Adam there was no hope of fixing it.

"Any luck yet?" Lexa asked, placing a cup of coffee down in front of Shalimar and looking over her shoulder at the screen.

"He has all the treatments listed, but even he said he didn't know which one had saved Jesse's life. There's nothing on here pertaining to our _expiration dates_." Shalimar huffed.

Lexa gave her a look that could only be described as _duh_. "Shal, you know as well as I do that Adam wouldn't have put them on here even if he knows. That's not what he wants us to think about, he wants us to try to figure out what he did different that saved Jesse's life." She took a sip of her coffee and opened her own medical file and perused the information. She was amazed at the depth that Adam had put into the files. "He must have been working on these for a while, he has all of this information listed about my implant included, and he removed that a while ago."

"Knowing Adam, he probably had this plan in the back of his mind ever since he went into hiding." Shalimar said as she drank her coffee and rechecked the email account on the second terminal for the tenth time in an hour.

"Shal, it's four o'clock in the morning, do you really think he will respond to this now?" Lexa said, looking at her watch and then returning to perusing the medical files listed.

Shalimar just shot her a look and began to check out some of the other companies the Dominion had been using as fronts. She would hopefully not need any of this information, but it had been something to kill time until they were contacted. About ten minutes later, she rechecked the email account and saw a reply and almost fell off her stool.

"Lex, what were you saying about him not replying at this hour?" Shalimar said as she opened the email and read the one line reply several times over. The only thing it said was _Shelly's Diner, Route 10, 12:15_.

"Well I guess we have our answer." Lexa said as she and Shalimar shared a look, containing equal parts fear and hope.

Deciding that they had several hours before having to awake and at the meeting location, Lexa and Shalimar decided to try to get some sleep. Lexa had found that even the two cups of coffee she had were doing nothing to keep her awake. Both women agreed to wait until the morning to fill Beau and Angel in on the developments.

Lexa and Shalimar returned to their rooms, and Lexa fell into a blissful sleep, feeling the exhaustion of the past few days catching up with her. She spared only a moments thought to being worried about the meeting, but then channeled that worry into thoughts of having Jesse back and finally getting time in his arms again. Her last thoughts as she drifted to sleep were of how he had really broken down her defenses, and she had hardly cared.

Shalimar had a tougher time trying to find a blissful rest. After about an hour of tossing and turning, she looked out her window and noticed the sky getting lighter. Finally she threw on a pair of sweats and sneakers, grabbed the journal and quietly made her way out the door and down to the beach.

It felt good to be out in the open air again, and she stretched then ran up and down the beach several times before settling down on some rocks to watch the sunrise. The air was cool, but not freezing and felt good on her skin, flushed from her run. The sky had lightened just enough to see the blues and reds of the early morning. She grabbed the journal from its resting place on the rock and opened it to the next entry.

_**December 28, 2002**_

_**I couldn't help feeling like a kid again when Christmas rolled around this year. For so long the holiday meant very little to me. Usually I would be out at a club or sleeping off the previous night's hangover. **_

_**I actually offered to help Shal get the tree this year, much to her surprise. Jesse couldn't run the other way fast enough with a hurried 'Thanks' thrown over his shoulder. We got another huge tree, but this year Shalimar brought a chainsaw. She smiled when she pulled it out and told me that after last year's debacle she was not going to let me near a hand saw again if she could help it. **_

_**Adam must enjoy watching us act like a bunch of little kids sometimes because he sat and watched us opening our presents with this smile on his face. He got the four of us each paintball guns with explicit directions that the first one to use it in Sanctuary had to clean and dust the entire place alone. We had a game of paintball outside afterwards, and it didn't last to long because it was too cold and the paintballs froze. About an hour later we resigned to waiting for warmer weather, each of us limping back in to Sanctuary with welts all over. I still can't believe Shal shot me in my ass, twice. I am just able to sit on my left side without hurting! Shal was the only one to escape unharmed, at least mostly… I had to have retribution so I waited until she was lounging on the recliner and smashed a paintball in her hair. Adam started to yell, but he said I couldn't use the gun, he said nothing about the paintballs! I am going to have to watch my back for a while now, but it was worth it.**_

Shalimar laughed to herself remembering that incident. She had so much fun laughing at Brennan and Jesse. The four of them were running around in the snow, and Jesse kept trying to phase to avoid being shot. Emma finally got him in the end when he wasn't looking.

She scowled as she remembered the lather, rinse, repeat, times ten to shampoo the paint out of her hair. She had just about killed him. Revenge was sweet when she got him back a few weeks later. Brennan had been passed out on the sofa when she caught him. She had used enough makeup to make a cheap hooker jealous, but the pictures were priceless!

Looking up at the sky it was slowly getting lighter and the dark blues and reds were fading to pinks, orange with some soft violet. The last stars of the night had long since winked out of site. She was really happy they had chosen this location. They were desolate enough for her to be outside more. It was definitely a lot better then being stuck inside constantly. Looking down she continued to read the next entry.

_**January 23, 2003**_

_**Having Becky step back into my life was like a good dream and a bad nightmare rolled into one. I hated myself for so long because I still loved her. Repression had worked well for me. She used to be my world. She loved the thrill of the heist as much as I did and was good at the game. She was the first girl I loved, and maybe that's why I was always such a fool when it came to her.**_

_**She had me completely fooled into believing Connor was my son. I mean he bore a mild resemblance and everything. She even went as far as to having him believe it. I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to be a father. I've never been able to keep a pet for too long let alone take care of another person. **_

_**Jesse was probably the only reason Shalimar didn't beat the living daylights out of Becky. Shal has always been protective of us, but when it came out that Becky had deceived me about Connor, I thought she was going to draw blood. Jesse caught Shal right before she hauled off and hit Becky, but Shalimar definitely went off even after that, telling Becky what kind of person Shal thought she really was, and all the apologies in the world can't change the pain she caused. Part of me can't help but love Shalimar for being so protective, but it is my life and I have to live with my mistakes.**_

_**I know I've thought of leaving the team a lot of times in the past, and the idea of being a father to Connor almost made me leave without thinking about it. There are so many days that I am on the edge of telling Adam that I can't stand all the secrets or the questions that come up and just walking out. I don't know why a drifter like me has settled down this long. I never used to stay anywhere too long. **_

_**Emma tried to talk to me about Becky and Connor, but for some reason she was really being condescending or maybe I just wanted to be left alone. I felt her trying to probe my mind almost, and I wasn't ready for it. I know she means well, and I am happy to have her around most of the time. This time I just didn't feel like sharing.**_

_**I managed to find some solace in the gym. I think my muscles are going to hate me in the morning. Shal walked in about an hour into my attack on the different bags and offered to spar with me. I started to decline, but then thought about how a good spar might bring me out of my funk. I think she let me win two of the rounds, but she did get the best three out of five. I love to spar with her. I used to worry about hurting her, and now we have such a well thought out strategy of pulling punches and kicks just enough that we just fight. Shal never said a word to me about Becky or Connor. She just sparred with me and pushed me on. She fights dirty sometimes and loves to taunt me when she thinks I'm holding back or not giving my actions enough thought. We must have sparred half the night without realizing it. Around three am we finally called it quits.**_

_**Out of everyone, Shal usually seems to know what I need, and I feel bad for not always knowing what to do for her. She said she always knows when it's me and that she can sense me. I don't have the courage to ask her why or if it's the same with Jesse or Emma. I know the whole ordeal with Nikki had driven her nuts, and I wish I had followed my instincts about her instead of listening to Adam, Jesse, or Emma. I feel like I let Shal down, and I could have been smarter. I just can't believe that Shalimar would ever believe that Nikki was sexier then her. I still get those fantasy dreams every now and again. Maybe I'll write the next one down.**_

Smiling as the sun rose almost seemingly out of the water, she felt hope that she might soon see Brennan and Jesse again. She hated to feel any kind of false hope, but right now it was what she needed to keep going and see this meeting with Ian Massett through. Lexa thought she was going into this with blinders on because she wanted so badly to believe this would work, but the truth was that she was probably as unsure about this deal as Lexa. Shalimar still trusted Adam, although her faith in him had been shaken considerably, this just seemed like something that he would do.


	11. Trust and Friendship

_Okay I was feeling like going above and beyond today. So you get 2 updates! Wow. Okay now I need to catch my breath. NOT_

_Disclaimers are always the same... If you think I own them you are so wrong... _

_Thanks to all for the reviews and of course to my awsome betas Stephanie, Sara and Rachel. They keep me going!_

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**11 Trust and Friendship 11**

Brennan groaned as he felt his body hit the wet cement of the floor. They had been moved again. Jesse wasn't nearby from what he could see as he cracked his eyes open and took a glance around at his new surroundings. His head still hazy, and body sore from the beating it had just taken. Similar to the past few places that they had been, it had cement floors at least an inch of water on the floor, metal cot, toilet, and door; everything to deter him from even attempting a try at using his powers. There were no windows, and the door was equipped with a hatch at the bottom, he assumed to slide a food tray into. The room was only about 6 ft by 8 feet, and that was giving generous dimensions. He was almost positive that he heard Jesse call his name before his door clanged shut so hopefully they weren't too far away from each other.

Jesse was fairing no better. The governor that was imbedded in his neck prohibited him from any use of his powers. His cell was a mirror of Brennan's from what he could tell of the glance he had from the door. He had looked up just in time to see Brennan being thrown in the cell across the hall, and then his door was locked shut. He had called out Brennan's name in hopes of letting him know they were still close by. He wondered if it had been a waste of breath though.

Brennan had been drugged unconscious. They had come to move the two, and in a burst of effort, Brennan and Jesse had tried to attack them. But starvation rations and intermittent physical abuse had made it difficult for them to perform at a quarter of the ability either was capable of. Jesse had been punched in the face, and then knocked out by a blow to the back of the head after getting in a few surprise punches and kicks. Brennan had fought a little harder knocking out the one guard who initially grabbed him with a swift kick to the side of the head, and was then tackled by three others, one of who injected Brennan with a heavy sedative.

Outside the door Jesse was able to hear the sound of footsteps echoing down the hallway, and contented himself with the thought that they were getting fainter. He decided to chance a call across the hall to Brennan, although he wasn't sure that Brennan would even hear him. "Hey, Bren? Are you ok?" He winced as his head pounded with every syllable, reminding him again of the hard kick he had recently taken to the head.

A moment later he heard Brennan's hoarse reply, "I'm good as can be expected, Jess. Are you ok?"

"Yeah," Jesse snorted, thinking how not okay they actually were. "You managed to knock one of them out!"

"How would you know?" Brennan countered as he attempted to stand up and winced, "You were out for the count."

"I heard one of them asking if John was still unconscious." Jesse had seated himself against the door and looked sadly at the horrible accommodations.

Their new residence held a striking resemblance to the holding cells at a prison. He wouldn't be surprised at all if that was where they were. At least he had room enough to pace a little. His muscles were extremely sore from their previous lodgings. Jesse's room, like Brennan's, was approximately 6 foot by 8 foot with little more then a cot and a toilet. He stood and laid down on his cot thinking about how comfortable it was when he and Lexa were sharing her bed. That was his last coherent thought before drifting off to sleep and dreaming of a chalet in the mountains, a bottle of wine, and Lexa.

* * *

Shalimar had closed the journal and put it beside her on the rock she was situated on. She sat enjoying the first rays of sun the day was casting when she heard the footsteps and smelled Beau approaching with a cup of coffee. 

"I figured I'd find you out here." Beau's deep accent rumbled as he stood next to her rock. "I was wondering what you and Lexa found out? She's still asleep so I figured I would come find you and ask."

"Thanks," Shalimar said taking the coffee and sipping it slowly. She felt like she was going to need Coffee-holics Anonymous once this ordeal was over. "We're meeting Ian at 12:15; and seeing what he has to say."

"Angel and I will come with you, just in case." Beau said. His tone implied there would be no arguing about it.

"I don't know if I ever told you how much it has meant to me and Lex, that you both have helped us so much." Shalimar said, finally turning her eyes to meet his. "I don't know what we would have done without all of your help." she said honestly.

"I seem to remember a time when you wouldn't give up on Angel and me." He grinned,. "You and Adam made it possible for us to be here to help you. We have enjoyed working with Adam for the past few years, and we were worried when we hadn't been contacted those last few weeks." Beau paused to look out over the horizon and across the beach before tuning back to Shalimar and venturing on. "So will you tell me about you and Brennan?" he asked, his gaze almost pinning her in place.

"I don't know what to say." Shalimar felt a nervous grin slide across her lips, as she looked back across the bay to watch the sun reflecting off the water. "We were always coming so close to each other, but one of us would always pull away. More often then not it was me. I was scared to get involved with him… even though we had this almost instantaneous attraction to each other." Shalimar turned her face to look at Beau. "I'm in love with him. I love him and I never told him because I was afraid." A tear slowly trailed down her cheek.

"I am far from an expert on matters of the heart. I've always been a better soldier then a lover. Angel and I have been through a lot, but I try to show my feelings in my actions and she has accepted that. From what you've said over the past few months, I think you and he have done the same without ever realizing it." Beau climbed on the rock and sat next to Shalimar, putting his arm around her and letting her rest her head on his shoulder.

"Brennan and I have been so close for a while, and I was always scared to be another notch in his bed post. He used to come home smelling of his girlfriends all the time, and I didn't want that for me, especially when we had to live and work together. I just figured that we were experiencing an infatuation or lust and it would eventually wear off.

"But right before I was captured by Ashlocke a few years ago, Brennan and I were like two rockets with lit fuses toward each other. I hoped at the time it was physical attraction and it would soon burn off... I guess it did for a while, but he has always been very protective of me.… even though he seems to get in over his head just as much." Shalimar stopped thoughtfully, grinning to herself. "I didn't know why. I knew he had a few girlfriends, and wasn't with anyone for long. He had several girls that he was close to in the past year, and I guess I just kept him at an arm's length to protect myself. After most of my boyfriends, it's a wonder I haven't sworn off men all together."

"Maybe he was afraid to admit to his feelings too." Beau stated simply.

Shalimar turned her head with a grin., "I'm sorry, I'm going on and on like some weepy teenager in some crappy prime-time drama. This probably isn't what you wanted when you came down here."

"No, but I have always enjoyed your company, Shalimar. This seems to be bothering you a lot, and you need to be mentally well to deal with what's coming. I'm still not sure if you'd rather talk to Angel about it."

Shalimar's snort echoed softly over the sand, "I have no idea why it's easier for me to talk to you then her. I care about her a lot, and you both are members of our family now. For some reason, I haven't been able to open up to her or Lexa."

"It's my big manly muscles, isn't it?" Beau joked flexing his arm

The two laughed for a moment enjoying the camaraderie.

"I never believed in soul mates, but that is the only thing I can think to describe me and Brennan." Shalimar said soberly. "I just know I will do anything to get him and Jesse back."

The two sat on the beach watching the sun and the water for a few moments before walking back to the house together. Shalimar felt immensely better, and if Ian Massett didn't provide the answers, she would beat them out of him. Smiling at that thought, she grabbed her clothes and jumped in the shower.

* * *

Shalimar and Lexa entered the diner at 12:10 and immediately looked around. It was pretty busy, but they were able to situate themselves in a corner with a good view of the door. Outside, Angel was across the alley on the roof with a bird's eye view of the front and rear entrance to the diner. Beau was out in front pretending to work on the engine of the car. 

At 12:20 Shalimar and Lexa had ordered coffee and decided to wait and see what happened. At 12:30 the two began to get antsy. Lexa was the one to finally crack. "Do you think he's coming? Is this a set up or something?"

"Lex, let's just give it another half-hour. We don't know much, if anything, about him." Shalimar said but felt herself beginning to lose hope too.

Just then someone vaguely resembling the man called Ian Massett walked in. He wore a beaten pair of jeans and a faded flannel with an even older blue tee-shirt under it. Between that, the hair that was longer and darker than in the photo and the baseball cap, he was almost a completely different person then what they'd expected. For some reason he had known them right away though. Before the waitress could ask he had pointed to their table and said he was meeting them. He slid into the booth, smoother then a man wearing those ratty clothes should have, and gave them a broad grin.

He was a fairly attractive man, about 6' with green eyes and light brown hair. He had a boyish grin but his eyes belayed that of a man older then his appearance suggested.

Shalimar, who was already on edge, looked as if she was ready to take on the entire diner if needed. Lexa on the other hand was clenching her teeth and trying not to scream at the attention he had just called to them. Several of the patrons turned to look at him, noticing the unkempt man meeting with the two casually dressed women.

"Hello, ladies," he said, but suddenly his eyes shifted from that of carefree and happy to all business. "I can see you're not in the mood to play so we will get to the point. I know where they are, we have some time, and I have another disc for you to see."

Both women looked at each other and then back to him with a look akin to disbelief. Shalimar was the first to break the silence on their end. "How do we know you're not setting us up?"

"Because Adam told me to tell you that he knew you took the fall for Jesse when he broke the door to the lab after he first got there. He also knows that you, Lexa, were the one to reset all his pass codes just a week after being in Sanctuary." He paused and watched as both sets of eyes looked almost incredulously at him before continuing, "I know you don't want to trust anyone right now, but you have to believe me. I am here to help you, and we have a lot to do in a small amount of time. Are you coming with me?"

Shalimar and Lexa could do nothing more then look at each other in stark disbelief of the strange facts that Adam had told this person. Facts they were almost certain he would have told no one else. Shalimar looked over, met Ian's eyes, and then nodded. With that they left the money for the check on the table and made their way out of the diner.

Outside Beau and Angel watched as the three exited. As Beau looked over, he saw Lexa nod and her lips shift into a half-smile. Beau looked up at Angel and gave the signal for the all clear and watched as she somersaulted down the side of the two-story building.

"I see you came prepared," remarked Ian as he walked to his Jeep in the parking lot. He turned to look at the four who were now flanking him. "We need to go somewhere safe that we can talk. We can go to my place if you like, or to yours."

Lexa spoke before anyone else could confer. "We'll go to yours."

"Is that a good idea?" Angel and Shalimar said together.

Lexa shot them a look, and then pulled Angel, Shalimar, and Beau aside. "We can't very well give up where we are living yet. We might be poised to walk into a trap, but at least we will be expecting it. If we take him to our safe house we are compromising our safety even more." She turned with an apologetic look toward Beau and Angel. "You two have a choice…, you can stay with us or go back to the safe house and wait there for us to call you."

Beau didn't even hesitate, "We are going with you."

Angel nodded her head in agreement, and looked to Shalimar who had a look of heavy thoughts firmly in place. "What is it, Shal?"

"I'm not sure, but I'm not sensing anything that is hostile or wrong coming from him. He smells like he lives alone. I don't smell anything else on him but the outdoors. I'd have been able to pick up the scent of another person on him if he had been in contact with them recently. Maybe he is legit." Shalimar said and then looked to Angel and Beau, happy to see their nods of agreement.

The drive to Ian's house took almost an hour. Both Shalimar and Lexa chose to ride with Ian and leave Beau and Angel to trail behind. During the drive, Lexa and Shalimar grilled Ian on how he knew Adam and what he knew of the occurrences of the past year, including the disappearing stunt Adam had pulled on the Dominion. Ian was cooperative, and straight forward with them about what he did and didn't know. He knew that the Dominion's headquarters had blown up, but didn't immediately know that Adam was involved or taken. Adam had contacted him through secure channels begging for his aid about a month ago.

"All he could think about was the four of you," Ian said honestly. "He compiled as much of his work as he could in secret to give to you and hoped that I would be able to get it to you. The whole plan actually depended on you, Shalimar."

Shalimar looked slightly taken back before asking, "Why me? What was so important about me?"

"Just being you!" Ian said with a mysterious grin, but realized that he needed to elaborate or risk bodily injury from the two women in the vehicle with him. "Adam was sure you would visit Sanctuary, but we didn't know when. We had hoped you hadn't already, and when I got there to drop off the disk, nothing had been disturbed, which seemed a good sign. I had to leave the disk in a place that we knew you would find, and pray that you would be there soon to pick it up."

"That was a lot of chance taking just to get in contact with us," Lexa said as her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Ian continued on, "You see Adam was scared that the Dominion would have been able to trace our contact so he set up as many safety nets as possible. He knew if he found you, it would only be a matter of time before the Dominion would be able to locate you through him. He didn't want to take that chance. It took me almost two days to decrypt the email he sent me asking for help. We didn't want there to be a direct trail leading to you. It was sheer luck that Shalimar found the disk just a week after I had planted it."

"What if that hadn't worked? What then?" Lexa countered, not believing that so far all of their plans had hinged on good luck.

"I had back-up plans in place, but I wanted to try this first because it was a more indirect route then trying to contact you directly. I have, so far, been safe from the Dominion, but if I was to try to locate you directly, it would have sent up red flags with them, possibly and most likely sending them after me."

Lexa relaxed slightly in her seat, relieved to hear that things hadn't just been left to chance.

"What if the Dominion returned and retrieved the disk before I had gotten to it?" Shalimar asked, now coming out of the incredulous shock she felt knowing she had been the lynchpin in a plan she had no knowledge of.

"That was one of the more clever programs built onto that disk if you ask me. Adam created a hidden file that would detect a certain code issued by all of Sanctuary and Underground databases. If it had been opened on any computer but one containing that code, it automatically would have deleted itself and run a virus through the entire system. He had made it so even I couldn't open the files from my computer without the risk of corruption. Of course he knew I would be much quicker to remedy the problem with my…talents." Ian cracked a big smile and looked very pleased. "I helped to build and program all of the Sanctuary and safe house systems when Adam first started. I was a child genius who graduated MIT at 16." He was a little disheartened at their lack of interest in his accomplishments so he pressed on. "But I see that's not impressing you. Long story short, since I helped to set up the systems, I knew all about the codes because I helped to set them there."

The conversation continued onto what had happened over the past few months with Adam and what Ian knew, which unfortunately wasn't much. He knew that the Creator was using him to help further his genetic research, and learn how to control the genetic strands at any level of development. He was able to tell them that Adam had been feeding him coordinates of where he would be able to find Brennan and Jesse and when. They learned that Ian was an elemental that could touch anything electrical and, for lack of a better term, speak with it. He was able to place his hand on a computer with an internet connection and hack into a banks computer half-way across the world. It made it easy for him to run his computers and hack into systems without being caught since he could destroy any back traces. When they arrived at Ian's house, they were both surprised to find a cabin in the woods. They had noticed the woods getting denser as they approached, but it opened into a sparser area where the cabin lay.

"This has been my personal safe house for the past few years." Ian grinned as he parked his car. "I've been living off of the grid for the most part. I'm sure you both tried to track me with very little success, other then the email address I wanted you to find." Both Lexa and Shalimar nodded in assent, but let Ian continue. "I think that is why Adam contacted me. He knew that I would be one of the most difficult people to track, and would know how to help you hide as well. Come on, let's go in and get a drink. It's freezing this high up in the mountains."


	12. A better Plan

_Is anyone still reading? I hope so. If you are and just don't want to admit to it that's cool. I understand. (Pity party over ;D )_

_Thank you so much to Hannah554, Tiana-P, Kai0707. I am so happy to make it onto your favorites lists! Big kisses to all of you! You have really made my day. Sorry it took me so long to acknowledge. I'm still getting used to how FFN works._

_Thanks to Stephanie, Sara and Rachel for all of their helpful input and corrections. They have been true lifesavers. _

_For all those who have been waiting for the action to get started, wait no more! This is the beginning. There will be more I promise. _

**12 A Better Plan 12**

Ian's house was nothing like what the girls expected. It was spaciously set up, and more modern then the outside and surroundings boasted. He had a computer bank set up in the breakfast nook, and a large living area with a plasma screen TV that was at least 60 inches. The furnishings were all a light oak color except for the sectional sofa and area rugs that were a dark navy blue. There was a staircase leading up to a balcony area that had doors opening up along the walk. It was very bachelor chic, but well kept.

Lexa let out a low whistle as she walked in flanked by Shalimar. Beau and Angel had followed them in Beau's truck. They had done a scan of the surrounding area, looking for any signs of an ambush or fowl play. Upon a satisfactory inspection, they followed the party inside.

Ian stood in the middle of the room and put his arms out. "My castle… It's not as nice as my old place in the city, but it isn't shabby by any means!" he said as he pointed out the coat rack. "I hated the thought of not having any modern conveniences so I had to do some improvising. I think it has worked fairly well."

"I'll say." Lexa commented, hanging her jacket on the rack and following Ian into the modern kitchen. "What were you doing before you went into hiding?"

"I worked for a lab creating computer chips and relays. I cornered the market on a few items and invested wisely. It cost me a pretty penny to have a lot of this built, but I don't have a lot of expenses anymore. I just get to ride off the interest of my investments, which are completely untraceable back to me!" He added with a sly grin.

At Lexa's look of disbelief and skepticism he put his hands up. "I used a few not completely legal ways of securing my investments, of course. Any more and you will know way too much." he said as he began to brew a pot of coffee then raided the refrigerator digging out cold cuts and cheeses to make sandwiches.

Shalimar had walked around the living room getting a feel for what kind of man Ian really was, when a thought occurred to her. "Ian?" she asked joining everyone in the kitchen. Ian looked up at her. "What's in this for you? I mean you have gone out of your way to help Adam and us but haven't said anything about what you expect in return." She and Lexa shared a look. From the look Lexa gave Shalimar the thought wasn't far from Lexa's mind either.

Ian looked slightly nonplussed, but quickly recovered and his voice held nothing but a raw tone when he spoke. "I assume you know all about Genomex and their hidden sections?" He paused, noticed the nods, then took another deep breath. "My sister is an psionic and was held in Section Five. Mutant X rescued and relocated her about 2 years ago without being given a lot of information why. A small, but important, fact had been omitted from your knowledge. She had been artificially inseminated by Eckhart to carry an elemental/molecular hybrid mutant… another one of Eckhart's wonderful pastimes of playing with genetics." He stopped as he heard Angel and Shalimar suck in a deep breath and took a moment to center himself before continuing.

"I had tried to save her twice on my own before calling on Adam for help. He sent your team in to save her two days later without another question. She is now safely in the underground with her son, who will most likely be an extremely strong mutant once his powers develop. For that I can't do enough to help Adam… or you, Shalimar and also Jesse and Brennan."

Shalimar walked over to him and put a comforting hand over his that was braced on the table. He looked straight into her eyes. "I want you to trust me, but I understand your reluctance." His eyes shifted to Lexa's and then to Beau's who both had stayed quiet for the duration for the story.

"Let's discuss what you have from Adam for us." Lexa said shifting topics to avoid any kind of talk dealing in trusting people. In her mind that just wasn't happening right now.

"Ok," Ian said picking up on the reluctance to continue the previous conversation. "He left me another disk and all of the information on how to track where Brennan and Jesse are being held. They were just moved to a new building about two days ago, and if they stick with their current pattern they won't be moving them again for at least two to three weeks. By then I plan to have them out of there and all of you to a new and safe destination. I have the plans for the building and the security schematics all loaded in my computer for you to review and take with you back to your safe house."

"Ok, let's take a look at them and get an idea of what we are up against" Shalimar said as she walked over to the terminal.

"No need I have a table version too!" Ian said as he placed his hand on a metal pad imbedded into the table and concentrated. A hover screen came up over the table with a set of blueprints diagramming what looked like an old prison. "It's about 50 miles away from here. It was an old asylum converted into a prison for a time until it fell into such disrepair that the state abandoned it.

"Satellite coverage of the place at several different times of the day shows that they have been the least guarded around mid-afternoon and heaviest at night. He put his hand on the pad again and closed his eyes. The plans switched to a different infrared picture showing several red dots. "There are about ten points of entry. Four of those have been permanently sealed so we won't have any access though those. We have to assume they have both Brennan and Jesse in these rooms here. The heat readings have been fairly stationary for the past two days. They don't appear to have moved from these cells for very long." He pointed to a section where there were two heat readings with four dots positioned around the area of the two assumed to be Jesse and Brennan. "Now when I overlay the blueprints on the satellite map," he touched the pad again and the prints came up in a rough hue on top of the existing image "we now have an idea of the entrances and exits to use. Unfortunately the Dominion has been planning well so far. They have been kept Brennan and Jesse at the portion of the building that has the least amount of access. This means that we will most likely have to storm the castle, for lack of a better term!" Ian grinned.

Shalimar couldn't help herself. She grinned right back and felt as though kicking the Dominion guards asses would be a welcome release of energy that had been pent up. She chanced a glance at Lexa and read a smile in her eyes as she looked toward Shalimar. This was the break that they had been waiting for. Shalimar looked to Angel and Beau who were studying the map intently, but Beau had caught Shalimar's eye before she turned her head back to listen to Ian's diagnosis of the facility and gave her a nod. Finally they had a plan!

* * *

Brennan paced his cell again and again. He was exhausted and hurt all over. His skin was sore and his muscles even sorer. He and Jesse had been talking through the doors for the past few hours, but after being attacked with the cattle prod for talking to Jesse, he was too agitated to continue. 

For lack of any better amusement Brennan dwelled on the memories he had of his life at Sanctuary and also the life before. His current thoughts lay on the first night they spent after Sanctuary and the Dominion were blown up. He and Jesse had happened to have some money on them so they got a hotel room at a sleazy no-tell-motel. They were all exhausted, and he and Jesse had refused to share a bed, but the girls refused to let them sleep on the floor. He and Jesse had both thought about sharing a bed for a moment, just for the sheer pleasure of watching Shalimar and Lexa sleeping in the same bed. In the end, he slept in the bed with Shalimar and Jesse with Lexa.

By the time they had laid down, they were so exhausted that all of the questions and fears they had were forgotten when their heads hit the pillows. He remembered Shalimar waking him up halfway through the night tossing and turning, moaning in her sleep. He tried to talk to her in a soft voice so she didn't wake Jesse and Lexa who seemed to be dead to the world, but when that didn't work he began to softly kiss her. She had woken up with start and was totally confused. She almost punched him, but had quickly remembered her surroundings and clung to him like a lifeline.

"I was alone. They separated all of us and were hurting all of you." She sobbed softly into his chest. "They were making me watch, and I was strapped down with bindings that were too strong to break." He remembered a version of this from when they were assaulted in their dreams by Henry.

He had slowly shushed her and held her tight, letting the dream recede. He felt her clinging to him, and then she had kissed him with the raw passion that she had shown for him just hours before. He wanted nothing more then to have her again, but fear of waking Jesse and Lexa had restrained them. He worried if she was ok. He had been trying to be strong for Jesse, but three months and nothing from them was making him begin to lose the last bits of strength and hope that he had left.

Jesse sat in the next room thinking about different things. He had been trying to figure out how to send some kind of signal to the safe house system, but hadn't had much luck. He wanted Lexa and Shalimar to be able to track them, but every time he came to a way of doing it he was thwarted by some flaw in his planning. He knew that there was a terminal at the end of the hall, but without several moments, he wouldn't be able to create the signal and disable the ability to track its source or destination by Dominion.

He sighed, sitting on the lumpy cot and thinking of Lexa. They had just decided to try moving on with their relationship. They were going to combine rooms like Shalimar and Brennan had done two months or so into their hiding. Both Brennan and Shalimar had been very secretive at first and hadn't said anything to anyone about their relationship. Jesse had been suspicious about it for a few weeks before they had come out and said they were officially together. Of course he had a feeling Lexa had known almost right away. She had been the one who had made little comments about them before he even thought anything different was going on.

He and Lexa hadn't been as subtle about their actions. It didn't help that they got caught making out in the living room. How was he to know that Shalimar and Brennan would be back early from the movie because it sucked? His thoughts felt erratic, and he began to think about Shalimar.

He and Shalimar had a long talk one night just after she and Brennan announced their relationship. Lexa had gone to get groceries with Brennan. Usually the couples preferred to stay together on outings, but that night Jesse and Shalimar had needed to talk about everything going on. Brennan had offered to stay, but they had decided when they first went into hiding that no one was to go gallivanting alone. It was easier for one person to be taken then two. He laughed to himself now as realized how futile it had been for Brennan and him. Jesse had asked Shalimar how she and Brennan had made that decision, and she had been honest about that day at Sanctuary where Jesse had thought something was different. He had to stifle a grin because in the middle of all the panic and chaos, she and Brennan wound up screwing their brains out. She confessed to being nervous that the panic and the heat of the moment was all it was, but now she was starting to feel more.

When Shalimar confided in Jesse that she wasn't sure what exactly she meant to Brennan, he had to laugh. Brennan had always been good with women. Jesse had seen it numerous times and was worried himself about Brennan discarding her after he had his fun. Jesse and Brennan had gone out shortly before the incident with the Dominion and Brennan had a few too many. He had confided in Jesse about having a hard time wanting to be with a girl anymore because he kept comparing them to Shalimar.

Shalimar on the other hand was extremely nervous about Jesse being with Lexa and told the other woman flat out that if she broke his heart Shalimar would break her face. Coming from any other woman, Jesse might have been insulted or upset, with Shalimar it was her showing how much she cared. He would have threatened Brennan, but Shalimar could kick his ass from here to next week before Jesse could get off a punch. So that was a wasted threat.

In the end they wound up watching an inane B rated movie while waiting for the other two to return with food. It had been nice because they hadn't spent as much time together in the past year.

He and Shalimar had promised each other a long time ago they would never let the other one down. Jesse could hear the wear and depression in Brennan's voice lately. Jesse knew that he had to hold on and return the favor to Brennan now. It was time for him to be the strong one.

* * *

After several hours of reviewing the plans and deciding on access points that were most feasible for entry, the group began to feel the strain of the past day wearing on them. Shalimar had yawned for the umpteenth time and was trying to fight off laying her head on the table and falling asleep. Angel and Beau had proved extremely useful with their covert ops experience. They were able to discern many of the routes that shouldn't be attempted right away. However at this point, even they were starting to show some signs of wear. 

They had decided to attempt a strike in three days. This would give Ian a little more time to gain information on the whereabouts of the guards at the proper intervals. They had already counted on not being able to have much help from Jesse or Brennan while they were extracting them from the facility. Most likely they would be worn and beaten. Lexa and Shalimar both cringed deeply at this, but had to keep the thoughts of saving them in the forefront of their mind rather then get distracted and depressed.

Lexa was trying to plan what would be needed on the mission with Ian while Shalimar, Beau, and Angel were reviewing alternate routes of entry and exit through the compound. The building was definitely formidable, and Shalimar wished they had Jesse's powers of phasing to assist them during entry and exit. The plans they had set up seemed to be solid though. It also didn't hurt to have three ferals on the team.

"Shalimar and Lexa, I have the other disk Adam gave me for you. Take a look over it at the safe-house and let me know what you think." Ian said as the team was preparing to leave.

Both women looked at him with almost identical expressions of inquiry.

"What is it?" Lexa said too tired to play games.

"You need to see it for yourself to truly understand. I'll help you with any questions you have about it, but take a look and we can work on the details when you come back."

Shalimar grabbed it out of Ian's hand before Lexa was able to, earning a rather reproachful look from her, but Shalimar just smiled and countered by saying, "Too slow!"

"Well at least I know where you got that one from" Lexa shot as Shalimar pocketed the disk and walked toward Angel and Beau who were waiting for them at the front door.

Ian had a secure phone set up for them so they could be in contact until they met again on Tuesday to prepare for the assault on the compound. Ian wanted them to stay Tuesday night so they could double check all of the equipment and also review the updated satellite photos. Ian saw them to the door and warned them that if any problems came up they were to contact him immediately. Shalimar grabbed his hand as she walked past him toward the door and whispered a soft "thank you" before joining the others outside. With another wave from Ian all four took seats in Beau's SUV to return home.

The ride home was mostly quiet punctuated by one main theme.

"I'm feeling a little nostalgic," Shalimar commented as she sat looking out the window at the passing scenery. "It's been a long time since we had a mission and a plan. It feels good."

"I agree, that it is a change from all of the ducking and hiding that we have been doing." Beau said as they merged onto the freeway.

"I'm not going to be a hundered percent sure that this is going to work out until we have the guys back" Lexa said, but there was a trace of hope that had belayed her real feelings lying in an undertone of her voice.

"I think we can do it" Angel said as she played with the radio to find a decent song to listen to. "This isn't any worse then the time Beau and I had to break the POW's out of a camp in Cuba. In fact I think we are better prepared now."

"I think that may have been harder," Beau said "But I see us pulling this off fairly easily. We just need to be careful and keep all of our options open."

The rest of the ride was in a comfortable silence, broken with a few comments about the new place and what they would like to do when they got the chance. Lexa wanted to go to the spa in the worst way and get a full body wrap. Shalimar wanted to go shopping and get a few new outfits. Both women thought deeply about doing things with the men they cared so deeply for but decided not to break the mood by their fears and wishes.

When the team returned home the only thing on their mind was sleep. They had debated long and hard on whether to look over the disk that night, but in the end their fatigue had decided the battle for them. After saying a brief goodnight, Beau and Angel went into their room while Shalimar and Lexa stood quietly in the living room for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts as they gazed into nothingness.

"Do you think this will work?" Shalimar finally blurted out.

"I don't know, but like you said before, it's the best plan we have" Lexa said.

"You really do care for him, don't you?" Shalimar asked as she turned to look at the moonlight reflecting over the bay.

"I do" Lexa stated simply.

"When I saw you two getting close, I would have killed you if you hurt him" Shalimar said turning and looking Lexa directly in the eye.

"I remember." Lexa quirked up a side of her mouth "I wouldn't have expected any less from you" Lexa replied looking directly at Shalimar.

"Do you think they've given up on us?" Shalimar asked now examining the toes of her boot.

It was then that Lexa did something so uncharacteristic it took Shalimar completely by surprise. She walked over and grabbed the feral's hand and looked her dead in the eye before speaking "Shal, I don't know, but if they have will that change anything?"

A few tears leaked out of Shalimar's eyes "I just don't want them to be broken forever, and I'm afraid that is what the Dominion will have done to them." Her voice was on the edge of cracking as she pulled Lexa close and clung to her.

Lexa went slightly rigid then softened and held on to Shalimar, silently praying that their fears weren't going to be true and that Tuesday would get there fast.


	13. Dreams of the Heart

_Thank you so much Stormchilde! I am really glad that you read and liked. It is pretty much a Shal/Bren centric fic, but I have tried to include as many of the characters as I can. Hannah, Kai, and Tiana you guys have been awsome support so how can I not mention you too! _

_Here is chapter 13! Just to let you know that once again I had to cut this up because it was way more graphic then recommended for the T rating. If you want it in it's complete form just let me know and I'll be happy to send it to ya!_

_Thanks to Stephanie, Sara, and Rachel for all their help once again. _

_I hope to have the next chap cleaned up and out tomorrow, who knows maybe I'll get 2 posted. I'll try but I can't promise anything._

_**Authors Note:** I was watching BTVS episode Amends and got this idea for a dream, slightly cheesy, but hey it's my story!_

**13 Dreams of the Heart 13**

Shalimar figured the last thing she would be able to do was sleep, but as she lay her head on the pillow she began to drift almost instantly. She hadn't slept well in three months, and she was starting to feel the wear and tear.

Her dreams flitted through her mind. She was dreaming of a dark corridor. She never remembered being there before, but somehow instinctively knew that she needed to go to the fifth door on the right. She would find what she was looking for there. The hall was damp and smelled musty. There were a few florescent lights lining the hall, but they were buzzing and flickering in and out, making it difficult to discern details. The door was a thick iron door with faded and almost unreadable numbers on it. She found the pull bar and yanked up until it clicked open. Fear and excitement took hold of her as she pushed open the door. She felt as if she was on autopilot, and she was wary about opening the door, but she would have done it no matter what.

She looked into the room and saw Brennan lying on a moldy old mattress with his eyes closed. She felt a thrill seeing him and realized that he was safe and alive. She approached him slowly realizing that he was still asleep, and she could watch the rhythm of his breathing beneath his thin tee shirt. He looked battered and abused. She was torn between desire and fear to wake him. What if she woke him and his eyes were dead inside, or he blamed her for taking so long to get to them? What if he told her that she took too long and now Jesse was dead? Shirking her fears aside, she realized that she had to know. Shalimar reached her hand tentatively out and touched his now bearded cheek. His eyes shot open, and he sat bolt upright. For an instant she thought he was going to attack her, but recognition filled his eyes quickly as he blinked several times and looked at her with a quizzical look.

The room was filled with an emotional electricity that only two hearts longing deeply for each other could create. Both Shalimar and Brennan had been through Hell the past few months. Yet the connection between them burned as strong as ever now that they were reunited.

Brennan had felt a touch on his face and it startled him awake. He had balled up his fist to take a swing at whoever it was, sat up and stopped. He blinked several times wondering if it was the vestige of a dream that he was having standing in front of him. There was no way that Shalimar was there standing in front of him. When he looked at her, he couldn't believe it. He would never have dreamed of her looking so worn and tired, would he? Her eyes had quickly perused the cell and then trained back on his. He slowly reached up his hand to cover hers, but she had retracted it too quickly for him to hold.

Shalimar was lost in his eyes, she saw the warm brown tones begin to come to life and analyze the fact that she was standing in front of him. She glanced at the tiny and dingy cell then looked back to him. He was reaching for her, and for some reason, she shied away from his touch. Seeing the hurt and confusion that filled his eyes she reached slowly for his hand again. When they touched, they could feel each other's warmth.

"This has to be a dream…" Brennan's soft whisper filled the room.

Hearing his voice was all it took for Shalimar to feel the tears threatening to release yet again. Her eyes became blurry and she tried to blink them back. She couldn't stop herself as she sat on the edge of the cot and wrapped her arms around him and held him.

Brennan pulled her closer to himself holding her tightly and burying his face in her hair. It smelled just as good as he remembered. He didn't want to open his eyes, for fear that this was only a dream and he would wake up empty and alone as he had done on so many occasions lately. Finally he chanced a glance at Shalimar's face and was relieved to see her still there and feel her still gripping him tightly. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something in the now open doorway. It took a second for the figure to come into focus. He saw a person there, a woman that he vaguely remembered, standing in the doorway and his muscles stiffened. Shalimar sensed his change and followed the direction of his gaze. She too saw a woman who wasn't quite thirty, with short brown hair and a round face. She looked familiar, but Shalimar was unable to place her.

"Shalimar, tell him…" The woman said, "I can't hold this much longer."

"Tell him what?" The two chorused.

"Tell him what is to come…" Her voice was almost ethereal and wispy.

Shalimar looked quickly back at Brennan, the pain in her face evident as she realized that maybe this wasn't really happening and what this woman was asking her to do. Shalimar pulled both of Brennan's hands into hers, savoring the feel of them for a moment, before looking him in the eye and saying, "We're coming for you. I promise. Just hang on a few more days, and we'll be here."

"We have to go Shalimar…" The woman said, her outline slowly dimming.

"Brennan…" Shalimar said and kissed him, feeling her lips caress his for the smallest of moments.

At the same time, over fifty miles away from each other, two separated lovers both shot straight up in bed and woke up. Each was filled with so much hope and longing that they felt their hearts would burst, but they also finally had felt some hope that they might soon see each other again.

* * *

"Hello?" 

"Ian."

"Do you know what time it is Kelly?" Ian's agitated voice sounded through the receiver. He cracked an eye open to peer at his clock reading 3:30 in a bright green display.

Kelly smiled at the thought of her grouchy older brother being woken in the middle of the night. "Ok, mood killer, I just wanted to let you know that it's done. The guys should know, and they look like they are doing alright. I seem to remember Brennan looking a hell of a lot better though!"

"Kelly, I love you and all, but you couldn't wait until morning to call and tell me?" His voice sounded sleep rough.

"You told me to try tonight, and I did. You also told me to call you and let you know how it went, so I am." Kelly said,still feeling slightly bitter about feeling like an eavesdropper on a moment that should have been entirely private, and then receiving flack from the person who asked her to do it in the first place.

She had been thrilled to help in any way when Ian had told her what had happened. As far as she was concerned, she owed not only her life but her son't life as well to Mutant X. They and her brother were the reason that she and her son were alive and safe today.

Kelly was a psionic who was able to make dream realities. It had been difficult and had taken several days of trying to get a good link between Shalimar and Brennan established, but she had finally done it. She only wished she had been able to give them more time together.

"Ok, cranky pants, go back to sleep." Kelly said stifling a yawn.

"Kelly," Ian said, "Thank you, I know how draining it is on you to do that and I will talk to Shalimar tomorrow and let her know what is going on."

"Tell her I'm sorry I couldn't hold it longer." She felt tears threaten her own eyes as the sorrow and longing between the feral and elemental had affected her just by watching the two together.

"She will understand. I love you… now get some sleep."

"Love you too, bro."

Both ends hung up, and the parties drifted to sleep trying to dream of better times without the fear and loss that they now had to deal with.

* * *

Brennan sat up in bed staring at the closed door and the empty cell. He couldn't figure out if what had happened was real or just a figment of his imagination and desires. He wished he knew what to do. Brennan sat in quiet mental debate, wondering whether or not to tell Jesse about his dream. Jesse, although skeptical, might be a voice of reason in it all, but Brennan also was trying to figure a way of telling him without talking through the doors where anyone else could hear. 

Henry had been able to manipulate dreams, Brennan remembered. He wondered if that was what had happened to him. It felt almost futile, but it was a measure of hope. Dreams weren't completely common for the elemental, but he'd had enough of them to remember that most don't feel like reality. This was comparative to the time Henry had trapped them in their dream world. He felt and smelled Shalimar as if she was right next to him, and when she kissed him, he swore he could still taste her on his lips as he woke.

The guards moved around down the hallway talking between themselves about inane topics as they walked. Brennan sighed to himself and decided to try to talk to Jesse in the morning about what happened. He didn't feel like being beaten again tonight. He was still sore from earlier when they had tried to probe his mind with a psychic. They didn't have much luck because he was only able to give them information that they already knew. The guards, being pissed about that, decided to let the psychic give him a hard blast that had knocked him unconscious. He'd woke a while later face down on the floor of his cell.

At first the Dominion had been eager for information, and then they had left them alone with bare rations of food and water. He began to wonder if this was what POW camps were like. Jesse held up much better then Brennan ever thought he would. He felt bad for doubting Jesse and had made a note not to ever do so again.

Brennan had no clue why they hadn't tried to reprogram their brains or brainwash them… for all he knew this was just a technique. Some days he wondered why they were still alive. The only answer he could come up with is that they were bait. He hated that thought.

Sitting back on his bunk, he rested against the wall and contemplated sleeping Then he shifted to lying on his bunk as he fell into a restless sleep with dreams of Adam and Shalimar running the carnival on the boardwalk, and he was stuck on a ride with no way to get off.

* * *

Shalimar sat bolt upright in bed. The vestiges of the dream slowly receding into her subconscious, but she tried to figure out what had just happened. It took several moments for her to reorient herself to her surroundings, and then another heart-wrenching moment to realize that Brennan wasn't there with her. She sat alone in her darkened room with nothing more then a sliver of moonlight shining through the curtains to illuminate the emptiness that surrounded her. "What the hell was that?" She asked out loud before even realizing she had. 

Her mind, now teaming with thoughts and ideas, raced and she tried to place the woman's face that she had seen in the dream with the memory of where she knew her from. Finally deciding that she needed help, but not wanting to wake the others she wandered down to the basement and entered her parameters into the database to search for her dream interloper.

After several dozen pictures she found one that was a slightly younger version of the girl she was looking for her. Pulling up the information she found her name was Kelly Lonagan. Shalimar quickly perused Kelly's file and found what she was looking for. Kelly Lonagan was actually the woman's married name, her maiden name had been Massett. Shalimar smiled to herself as she read about Kelly's ability to connect people in a dreamscape world. She also had some dream manipulation capabilities. Her questions now answered, Shalimar realized that she was much too awake to fall asleep again, but it was still too early to go out and run on the beach. Glancing at her watch she realized it was only four am.

With little else to do that wouldn't wake the rest of the house up, Shalimar retreated to her room and began to read through the journal once again. She felt as though she had been strengthened by Kelly's connecting her with Brennan and hoped that he felt similar now knowing that he wouldn't have to wait much longer.

_**February 5, 2003**_

_**I guess I have a whole new respect for being a leader. Adam still has his secrets and I still don't like it, but I think that now I have a little more respect for it. Jesse, Emma, and Shal have been teasing me a little extremely lately, but I guess I deserve it. I don't know why, but I just took charge. I like to be in control, and Jesse has made several mentions of my control freak tendencies, but maybe I do need to reevaluate my…technique with taking charge.**_

_**Shalimar and I went out clubbing tonight. Jesse and Emma bailed on us. They get weird sometimes about going out. The two of them will just crash on the couch watching old black and white movies and eating popcorn. Not me, I'd much rather get out and do something. Shal and I had fun. We went to this popular club, and she dragged me out on the dance floor a few times. She says it's because she gets annoyed at all of the guys who try to hit on her, and it's nice to have me as her wing man. Sometimes I wonder if I'd rather just be in her company then picking up complete strangers. Maybe it's the same for her.**_

_**Emma is getting back on her feet after Tyler. I felt like I stuck my foot in my mouth when I was bashing fate, but what the hell, fate is a bitch! The two of us have pretty much reconciled, but I just hated the fact that she locked up on us, almost getting us killed in the process, then spent time trying to protect the people who could have ultimately caused the death of millions. No, Tyler wasn't bad, but the people that were controlling him were. Emma said that we would never know how it feels to be able to instantly know someone on that level, and I guess we won't, but we can never understand what she isn't willing to explain, either.**_

_**I have a lot of work to do to restore that Cutlass. That asshole Maddox was with managed to punch bullet holes in the driver's side and the upholstery. Adam has been his usual tight-lipped self about what happened with the whole incident and snapped at all of us when we tried to ask what was going on. I don't know why he likes to keep everything close to his chest like it's a huge secret that we're not worthy to share. We're out risking life and limb… I just want a little justification sometimes.**_

_**Shal was laughing at me when I was more upset about the car then the bullet hole in my arm, but she doesn't understand how tough it is to find and keep vintage muscle cars. She offered to help me tomorrow while she was patching up my arm. I think it would be fun to get some grease smudged across her face; I'll have to remember the camera!**_

Shalimar knew how hard Brennan had fought to be a leader. It made sense that he wanted to be in charge. He had always been in charge of his own life, and even then he had trouble taking orders from Adam sometimes. He had also been funny about his cars. She had gotten dragged along on several of his adventures looking for classic vehicles that were what he called "bargains" but were in horrible states when he got them. He spent a lot of time and work to get them running though. On more then one occasion she had helped, but most of the time her help constituted him trying to explain what tool he needed and a bunch of other technical mumbo jumbo that was lost on her.

She looked out the window and at her watch again before deciding to read another entry before her morning run. It felt so good to go outside to workout she hadn't even spared a second thought to the gym that was situated downstairs.

_**February 20, 2003**_

_**Jesse and I got into it the other night, and he just flipped on me. I had to get out before I knocked him out. He has been weird since we got back from the prison. He asked me what I remember about being under the influence of that drug, and I have tried really hard to remember, but everything is fragmented. I remember feelings of anger and hatred more then anything else. Then I practically begged Shalimar to tell me what happened. I almost wish she didn't. I think she held a lot back, but I got enough of an idea that I understand why Jesse has been avoiding me and snapping at me lately. I just wish I knew how to apologize.**_

_**Denny's family is really scattered, but I went to visit his aunt last week. He lived with her for a while growing up. She wasn't great by any means, but she loved him and held a funeral for him. I still wonder what would have happened to me if I had taken that job instead of him. The only comfort is that those goons are behind bars, and Emma destroyed that mad scientist's research.**_

_**This thing with the blue bolt was enough to piss me off. I care immensely about Shalimar, and I know she was upset thinking I had no faith in her abilities, but that wasn't it at all. I know she is probably the most powerful of us. I couldn't help being scared that she would be hurt or worse. Adam told me to stop being so protective over her. I know he thinks she was the best candidate for the job, but I still have a lot of years of thieving and subterfuge under my belt. Maybe Jesse was right when he called me an attention hog, and reminded me that she grew up on the street too.**_

_**How can one woman make my normally suave with the ladies exterior vanish into thin air? Shal kissed me tonight as she was leaving, and I think my brain short circuited. I felt like she shocked me, but in a good way. I can't be having these feelings about someone I work and live with. I know better and can only imagine the consequences if things start to go bad. **_

_**I had one of those really good dreams of her again. It's been a long time since I've had one like this When I remember my dreams they are of various things, but rarely this vivid. I think Shalimar is the only person I have really known that I have actually had full NC-17 rated dreams about since I turned 18. I need my head examined for writing these down. One day she's going to see this, or out of stupidity, my dumb ass is going to show her, and it will be lights out for me.**_

_**She was wearing that dress from the conference dinner. She looked gorgeous in it, the way it clung to her in all the right places with her hair and makeup done. We were walking outside of Sanctuary and both of us were still dressed up. We were down by the beach and the moon was out with some cloud cover, but there was still enough light to see well. I remembered looking back and seeing that we were at least a mile from Sanctuary and hadn't even realized it.**_

_**We turned to walk back and as we turned Shal changed direction and headed to the rocks that were at the top of the shore. One of them had a ledge carved out in it, just about my hip height. She jumped up and sat on it, bringing her almost to my height. Her expression was close to a lusty look. I remember thinking 'Why is she just sitting here staring at me like that?' She pulled me close and whispered in my ear. 'Bren, what would you do?' **_

_**I turned to ask her what she meant, and her face was right there… a hairsbreadth from mine… staring at my lips, and I couldn't find any words. Usually she will get close and pull away, but this time she just lingered, and I could see her breathing me in. I felt like I was held in some sort of gravitational pull once her eyes looked up and met mine. I put my lips gently against hers and softly kissed them. She didn't pull away like I expected. She smelled with some sweet and sexy aroma, maybe roses and some other flower. I just know the smell alone was making me feel all heady. When I kissed her closed mouth and she didn't resist, I parted her lips with my tongue and softly massaged hers, framing her face with my left hand and running my right through her hair, slowly taking hold of the back of her head as the kiss intensified. It was like waking a tiger. She was wrapping her arms and legs around me, tugging on me to get even closer.**_

_**She was unbuttoning my shirt and running her hands down my torso and sides then up my back. I felt like I was on fire wherever she touched. My shirt was still on, but opened, and my jacket was up on the rock beside us before I realized what was happening. I paused to ask Shal what she wanted, and she looked up at me with the baldest look I have ever seen on a woman and said 'Do you really have to ask?' **_

_**I know I managed to have the back of her dress unzipped and off of her in less then ten seconds, only leaving her in a sexy lace garter belt. That and the silk stockings were too sexy to take off and weren't really in my way. She didn't have a bra on, and I remembered kissing her as we both moaned at the feeling of our flesh making contact. I kissed her neck in hot open mouth kisses and worked my way down. Her skin is so soft… I can't get enough of it… and I kept my hands going all over her body. She pulled my head back to hers and kissed me so hard I was sure it had to be real. I almost felt like I was going to be bruised. **_

_**She had undone my slacks, and pulled her head back up to mine for another greedy kiss. I love the fact that the Shalimar in my dreams is so responsive. **_

_**We were joined in a slow dance, but it felt like we had done it a hundred times before. She was caressing every part of me she could reach, and I felt her tongue and mouth kissing all over my neck and face. Her moans and whimpers driving me to the edge that much faster.**_

_**God has got to be a woman or an extremely vindictive guy, because I woke up just then in my empty bed drenched in sweat and feeling thirteen all over again. Then the next day she kisses me for real, and all I wanted was to beg her for more. I am going to go to the crazy house… I just know it.**_

Shalimar felt the blood rush to her cheeks as she thought about the heated dream. She mused to herself about living out one of his dreams when he came back. She would have to check out the rocks along the beach this morning. She was now so worked up she had to let some energy out. Glancing outside she noticed the graying of the dawn and put on her workout clothes. Putting the journal on the desk, she said a silent prayer to the Powers that Be to help reunite her and Lexa with Jesse and Brennan soon. Bouncing out the door and down to the beach, she began her sprints up and down the sand, musing at the different rock formations as she passed.


	14. Revelations and Decisions

_Okay well here is the next chapter as promised. I need to warn you that as of right now I'm still plugging away on chapter 19 so once I get to 18 you might have to wait a little bit, but hopefully not too long for me to post these._

_I don't own any of it. I hope you all know that by now. I am just a lowly writer of someone elses ideas._

_Thanks to all of my reviewers. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all of the nice things you have said. _

_Of course I have to give props to Stephanie, Sara and Rachel for their help. They are the best!_

* * *

**14 Revelations and Decisions 14**

When Shalimar finally returned from her run, Beau and Angel were awake and having coffee and some breakfast in the kitchen.

"Good morning." Shalimar said as she spotted the two of them sitting at the table and looking up from their conversation.

"Morning." Angel said stifling a yawn, "You were up early." she continued as Shalimar walked into the kitchen.

"I was having trouble sleeping." Shalimar lied. She wasn't sure if she should tell anyone about her dream just yet. She already felt like her sanity was hanging by a thread. She wanted to make sure that her _dream_ was the work of Ian's sister and not a powerful psionic tapping into her already tortured subconscious. No, she decided, she would talk to Ian first and confirm her suspicions before letting the others know what had happened.

"When Lexa wakes up we were going to take another look at the plans to find any alternate routes of entry and exit we can use." Beau said, "Actually we were discussing different tactics used in Dark Star that might be of use to us. If you think of any alternatives or ideas, let us know."

"Okay." Shalimar said looking at the two sitting comfortably side by side. For a moment she was struck with a pang of concern. They had never discussed what would happen once Brennan and Jesse returned. She wondered if her feral brother and sister would stay or if they would opt to leave and take on another path. It was odd how territorial ferals could be, and yet the three of them had very few problems living together. She was too caught up in her own thoughts to hear what Beau had said and only caught the last few words.

"… arrange for care."

"I'm sorry. I missed all that." Shalimar said with a blush painting her cheeks.

Beau smiled indulgently as one might do with a child, "I was saying that we need to discuss with Ian if he has arranged for medical care for Brennan and Jesse if they are in need of it, and if not we will need to make the arrangements."

Shalimar was never so glad to have them there as at that moment when she realized that there was so much that she and Lexa had taken for granted while living in Sanctuary and having Adam. Beau and Angel were so accustomed to planning attacks and the aftermath that they were really the backbone supporting them over the past few months.

"I didn't even think about anything like that yet." Shalimar said looking slightly ashamed.

"Shal…" Angel stood and pulled her feral sister close "We have a lot, and I mean a lot, of experience with things like this. You guys have always had a base to do your treatments and care. We are more accustomed to winging it if we have to." At this Beau scowled at her, grumbling something about having good plans, "Oh, hush Beau. Between the four of us and Ian we will have all our bases covered." Angel finished with a smile.

Shalimar couldn't help but to smile back. Then as she shifted her arms, her feral sense of smell took over and she realized that she was still in her sweaty workout clothes. "Ok, well I'm feeling a little ripe so I'm going to go and hop in the shower before Lexa gets up… and uses all the hot water." she added with a grin and bounded down the hallway to the shower.

* * *

Jesse lay face down on his cot. He was musing to himself various ways he would like to spend the summer. He had been thinking about buying a new car shortly before they had been captured. He imagined going on a long road trip and driving with Lexa next to him and Brennan and Shalimar in the backseat of a new Audi S4. Brennan might not fit, but it was his daydream, so what the hell? He could just mute Brennan's complaints of his legs being cramped.

He longed to go to the beach and see the sun until he felt his skin beginning to burn, which in his current condition would take a grand total of twenty minutes. He smiled to himself. It would be nice to live like they used to, not on the run anymore, and be able to go where and when they wanted. His daydream was abruptly halted by Brennan's voice hissing his name.

"Jesse… Yo, Jess."

Jesse scowled for a moment at the thought of successfully having a nice break from their brutal reality, but then decided that talking to Brennan was definitely more important then his musings of a sandy beach, and damn it, he was almost believing he wasn't in this dank cell.

"Whhhhaaaattttt?" Jesse finally answered, his voice reverberating off of the walls

"I think that we don't have much longer." Brennan said quietly

Jesse's head teamed with thoughts of what he could possibly mean by that comment. Foremost was that Brennan had overheard the plans for their executions. "What?!?" Jesse voice rang with a mixture of fear and uncertainity as he shot up off the bed and almost tripped over his own two feet racing for the door.

"I think that we might be out of here soon." Brennan said, "I had this dream…"

"I've had them too Bren, and that…" Jesse cut him off.

"Would you just listen for a minute?" Brennan hissed at him, and hearing Jesse's silence continued on. "Somehow Shal and I shared a dream, and there was this woman, but they said that we don't have long to wait."

Jesse had heard his friend out and tried to make sense of what he was told. "Brennan, do you really think that it might have just been a dream? I mean what hope do they have in actually finding us?" Jesse was afraid that, between the loss of freedom and the psychics playing with his mind, Brennan might finally be reaching the end of his rope.

When Brennan spoke again, it was with conviction, "Don't you think I have thought of all of that before saying anything to you? Jesse, I've never had a dream this vivid in my life, and I believe in it." Brennan stopped and took a deep breath. He had thought about the dream for the past few hours, pacing his small cell trying to reason with himself what had happened. He had come up with the only answer that he could think of… It had to be some sort of dream sharing. "Jesse, you have to believe me. They aren't going to leave us here much longer."

Jesse felt a lurch in his chest. It was something that he hadn't felt in weeks… maybe closer to months. A grin crossed his face as he realized that the feeling was hope. He feared letting it build itself, but somewhere deep inside a voice echoed, _You can always trust in me, Jess,_ Shalimar had said that when he was upset about all of the lies his father had told him, and even Adam had caused him doubt. It was true. Shalimar was the one person in his life who had never blatantly lied or hid anything from him (…well with the exception of her relationship with Brennan.) She had been honest when she told him that, when she and Brennan had gotten together she wasn't sure where it was going and didn't want to cause more problems then they were already dealing with.

"Bren, I hope your right." Jesse said as he sat staring intently at the door almost willing it to open.

Brennan sat in the next room on the lumpy cot replaying the dream over and over in his head. Shalimar had started to say something before he woke from his dream. He had wanted to tell her he loved her so badly. He had been thinking about those three little words a lot since the last time he saw her. He had never said it out loud. He thought it a lot when they were together, but hadn't been able to say it to her other then whispering it when she had fallen sound asleep in his arms. He was always too scared of what might happen, but didn't know why. If it was true, what was the big deal? He snorted to himself. It was the fear that he would openly admit it and that it would be real… as if thinking it everyday made it a pipe dream.

Brennan heard footsteps clicking down the hallway. He heard his door open and looked over from his seat at the well dressed guard, Samuel, and smiled. He knew that this guy was going to get a severe ass beating soon, and Brennan hoped that he would have the strength to do it himself.

* * *

Lexa had awoken to the smell of pancakes and eggs. For a moment she wasn't sure where she was. The vestiges of a dream tickling the edges of her mind with images of an entirely different life. The remnants were still flashing briefly while she found her bathrobe and made her way to the kitchen causing a flicker of a smile to cross her lips. The three ferals were in the kitchen, Shalimar at the stove, doling out some pancakes and eggs onto a plate and handing them to Lexa as she walked in, and then pouring her a cup of coffee, adding the cream and sugar, and placing it by Lexa's plate. Lexa looked up at the feral she had come to regard almost as a sister and smiled before taking a sip of the coffee.

"Thanks." Lexa said after taking a few sips from her mug.

"You're welcome" Shalimar and Angel chorused shooting grins at each other.

Lexa took a few more sips from her coffee before realizing that it was only nine am in the morning and it appeared that everyone else had been up for a while. "What time did you guys wake up?"

"Beau and I were up by seven... and God only knows when Shal woke up." Angel said casting a wry grin at her.

Shalimar took a deep breath and decided to tell them about the dream that she had. She had quickly called Ian this morning after her shower and confirmed her thoughts that Kelly had created a link between both Shalimar's and Brennan's dreams. She started slowly, "Well, I woke up early after this crazy dream, but it wasn't really a dream at all… or it was, but it was like a dream reality made by Ian's sister, Kelly. I was walking down this hallway. I opened a door and Brennan was there." Shalimar paused to look at the others faces, and noticed that Lexa looked as if she was going to say something, but at the last minute changed her mind. "I talked to him, and told him we were going to be coming for him and Jesse soon."

"Shal, I've had dreams too, but it doesn't generally mean anything, besides it could have been a trap." Lexa started, but Shalimar motioned her to wait while she finished the story.

"I saw a woman there. I remembered her, and when I woke up I researched it. It was Kelly, Ian's sister that Jesse, Emma, Brennan, and I saved over two years ago. I called Ian this morning to confirm it." Shalimar stopped and suddenly found herself having three sets of eyes intensely set on her.

"How did they look?" A voice that Lexa swore wasn't hers even though it was issued from her very lips said.

Shalimar tensed for a moment. She had no idea how Jesse looked, but if Brennan was any indication, not good. "I didn't see Jesse. I only saw Brennan for a few moments and I was gone before I even had a chance to find out. If Brennan is anything to go by, we need to act soon." Shalimar said her voice dropping to a harsh whisper at the end.

Lexa wasn't an emotional person. She liked to repress and then use it as fuel when she needed a reason to be destructive. She felt her eyes well for a moment, and then decided to bottle her rage and save it for the kidnappers who awaited them in a little over a days time.

The three ferals watched as Lexa processed the information, and then saw the steely gaze slide into place, and the mask of all business present itself.

"Let's take a look at the other disk Adam left us." Lexa said with a neutral tone as she headed down the stairs, almost half of the breakfast she had in front of her left without another thought.

The four descended the staircase to the basement area, and Shalimar handed Lexa the disk. Shalimar had become all too familiar with this hardened visage that Lexa used to get herself through. Beau and Angel were becoming more accustomed to it, but tended to follow Shalimar's lead when dealing with some of the light-benders drastic mood swings.

The new disk from Adam given to them by Ian was actually a set up for an entirely new Sanctuary. The file was entitled - _Haven_. When the file was opened, Adam's voice once again drifted through the speakers.

_Hello, Shalimar, Lexa, Beau and Angel._ Beau and Angel couldn't help but raise their eyebrows in an impressed expression. Shalimar and Lexa only grinned as they recognized that Adam, even under Dominion control, still possessed more knowledge and contacts them any one person had a right to.

_I hope that you will soon have Jesse and Brennan back with you. I'm sorry I wasn't able to do more on my end. I haven't been able to see them, but I know that they are alive and still full of spirit. Ian will be able to help you rescue them. He will also be able to help you with this…_ Adam's voice trailed off as an image appeared on screen. The image was a layout similar to that of the old Sanctuary. The bottom showed a set of coordinates with the location that the new, _Haven,_ was built. Adam's voice came on again after a few minute pause to allow them to look over the blueprints. _I know that you all are shaken and scared. I apologize for not being completely honest with any of you. If I had maybe everything wouldn't have turned out the way it has, but we never know until the outcome just how things will be in the end._

_When you get Jesse and Brennan back, you as a team need to decide if you want to continue with what I started. If you do, I have set up a new base of operations. 'Haven' is the backup that I had planned if Sanctuary had ever fallen into the wrong hands. It is almost completely done with the exception of finishing the network computer system and some minor work on the building. When I went into hiding, I started the final work on it. I knew it was only a matter of time before Sanctuary was destroyed. I actually started the network programming and Ian promised to aid you with the finishing touches._

_Now it is your decision. I will respect whatever you decide. I don't want any of you to feel like you owe me for anything. The truth is I owe you all more then you will ever know. If you decide to rebuild Mutant X, then this can be your starting point. I had originally planned on being there to lead you. Maybe someday we will be reunited. _

I_f you choose to continue Mutant X, there are additional files on the disk that will aid you in setting up. For right now, I want you to concentrate all of your energy on safely rescuing Brennan and Jesse. They don't have much time left before the Dominion loses patience with their lack of cooperation._

_We have worked hard over the years to change the world, and if you want it you have the right to make the choice and join it. Once you have Brennan and Jesse, Ian will let me know. By then I should have information regarding Dominique and her gene-stabilization treatments. Be careful. You have always been the best and the strongest. If you choose a normal life please take care of yourselves and know that I really do care about you all more then I can ever express and I want you to decide based on what will make you happy._

The voice faded and the four stood around the terminal staring mutely at one another. No one had made a sound while Adam was talking and now they felt as if they couldn't if they tried. Shalimar was wiping her eyes trying to stem the flow of tears. Lexa stared blankly at the monitor just watching the blueprints continue with their 3D revolutions. Beau and Angel wrapped comforting arms around one another as they switched their gazes between Lexa and Shalimar waiting for someone to speak.

Finally Lexa's voice broke the silence. "I need to go for a walk and think for a while." She didn't wait for anyone to comment. The remaining three watched her feet disappear up the stairs and listened to the front door open and slam shut.

Looking between themselves Shalimar placed one hand on Beau's arm and the other on Angel's as she silently begged to leave. Both looked at her and nodded. She retreated to her room where she fell face first onto her bed and sobbed silently into her pillow.

Shalimar was more scared and confused then she remembered being in a long time. They could probably fly under the wire for a long time if they didn't oppose the Dominion. She had never really thought much about what was next for them. Sure, she had worried about what would happen to Beau and Angel once the team was back together, but were they really a team any longer? They had been on the run for a while now, and hadn't done much more then help a few stray mutants in need of transport or safety. She silently mused about the thought of a normal life. She wondered about being able to grow old and have children. It was an interesting concept. On the other hand, they had been fighting for so long she didn't know if she would know how to live a normal life.

Lexa sat out on the beach wishing she had remembered a jacket. It had been extremely temperate weather for this time of year, but there was still a chill in the air and she had run out of the house with only her sweatpants, a long sleeve tee, and her bathrobe. At least she remembered her shoes. She wrapped her arms tighter around herself as she perched on one of the rocks by the cliff.

Part of her wanted to rescue Jesse and run as far away as she could. Another part of her wanted to continue kicking the shit out of the Dominion for all of the underhanded tactics and evils they had caused. Even another part was confused as hell. She never really had a relationship with her parents. The only person she'd had in her life was her brother, and he was dead now. Then she met the new Mutant X. They had accepted her, albeit grudgingly, as family and as time went on she began to accept them also. Lexa knew that she could do a hundred different things with a new life. She scowled to herself as she realized that she might actually want to continue Adam's legacy. Who the hell was she now and where was the Lexa that she worked so hard to create?

Lexa watched the waves lap on the beach and prayed for inspiration or direction of some sort. She snorted to herself that she hadn't said any prayers since she was eleven. It seemed, in her mind though, that now was as good of a time as any to start.


	15. Premonitions or Delusions

_**AN: **Due to the way the second season ended and the third began I had to take a few liberties with the timeline. I pretended that the season two finale actually happened in the beginning of October. I needed an explanation for the snow and cold and that seemed to work without extensive changes to the existing storyline. I figured that far north it isn't completely out of the ordinary to have snow that time of year._

_As I promised here is the second chapte of my 2 chapter update. I try to live up to my promises. I hope you like!_

_I really hope that the second journal entry isn't too graphic. I seriously tried to make it as low key as possible without omitting it. Let me know if I did bad!_

_For all disclaimers see previous chaps._

_Thanks again to Stephanie, Sara and Rachel, not to mention all of the reviewers! Hope you enjoy._

* * *

**15 Premonitions or Delusions 15**

Shalimar woke up a few hours later surprised to find that she had fallen asleep. She realized she must have been more exhausted then she had originally thought because her mind was still muddled. The prospect of joining the others and dealing with the new findings had no appeal right now. She heard Beau and Angel and possibly Lexa downstairs working on something… probably contingency plans. She momentarily felt guilty for not being there to help but right now she didn't feel like she'd be much help. Realizing that she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, Shalimar dug the journal out from under her pillow and began to read.

_**March 16, 2003**_

_**For not having a lot of work to do, it seems like we are constantly busy lately. We got Vic and Claudia safely into hiding over a month ago, and we haven't had any real contact with Adam's people since. Vic pissed me off, but I guess I just can't stand a rat… no matter what the reason. Emma gave me an earful saying I don't know what it's like to be scared like that. I don't know where she gets off though. I never put myself in a situation that stupid. I admit to having dealt with a lot of characters that would make the team shudder, but I always knew the score. Vic did too getting in, so I don't know why I have to have so much sympathy for him. I just don't know why I have to have so much sympathy for someone who knew what he was getting into in the first place. I'm glad that Raymond's going away for a long time. He isn't a good guy by any means. **_

_**On the other side of things, we have been doing a lot of updating on security at a few of the safe houses that had been broken into by the GSA last year and we haven't used since. We figure, since the GSA's database was mysteriously destroyed a few months back, we can fix up the safe houses and use them as last resorts. So Shal and I have been busy reloading an entirely new software program into the safe houses with new access panels. I discovered that she is good at hacking into things on a computer, but has no ability to deal with wiring and repair. Of course I will have a permanent bruise on my shoulder as a reminder never to call her a blond electrician. She wired at least two of the panels backwards, and we were almost locked in. From then on Adam sent Jesse with me to do the wiring.**_

_**The retribution for the comment came a few days later when Shalimar had Jesse pull up one of the security cameras from the school and made an 11 x 14 sized print of me driving the school bus. I tried my hardest to get it back from her, but she is a lot faster and used the unfair advantage of jumping to the second level when I tried to chase her down. She now has it hidden away in her room, and warned me that the next serious girlfriend I have is going to see it. She just doesn't play fair sometimes.**_

_**Emma has been shadowing Adam recently, even more so then normal, but hasn't been very open with any of us. She has been withdrawn at times, locking herself in her room, and acting very strange. I have tried talking to her a few times, and she has been pushing me away. Jesse said the same thing has been happening to him. I think Shalimar and Adam are the only people to get through to her lately. Shalimar is just too stubborn to back down when she knows that something is really wrong. I don't know what would happen if she lost Emma. Shal was talking a few days ago about how bored she was at Sanctuary when she didn't have another girl to talk to. I guess I can understand that. She was stuck here for years with just two guys to talk to, and I think I would go nuts if all I had were women living with me. Well then again…**_

_**We haven't had much time to go out with all of the upgrades that we have been doing. Adam has done diagnoses on all of us twice in the past three weeks, which is odd from our normal once a month check ups. When we asked, he just said he was recalibrating the machines and wanted to make sure the readings were normal. I just hope we're not going to go through another power growth spurt again. The last one was almost enough to destroy Sanctuary!**_

Shalimar remembered having fun with Brennan while wiring the safe houses. No, she was never meant to be an electrician, Brennan had that right. She also remembered that picture she had made of him in the school bus was all too funny to look at. She was pretty sure that Jesse and Emma had made themselves copies too. She had mounted it inside her closet door. He knew better then to go into her closet. She flipped to the next page and began to read the next entry.

_**April 10, 2003**_

_**I don't think I have seen Adam this hell bent in a while. Ever since Eckhart sold him out to that judgment panel, he has been on a tirade. He has been locking himself in his office for hours and telling us all to go away and leave him alone when he is in there. I guess we all got too comfortable with the idea that we don't have to deal with Eckhart and have been focusing on different things. **_

_**I thought Shalimar was going to go nuts when she watched Adam get taken and his source take off leaving her to try to save him. She was on a mission to find Adam and anyone who got in her way was in for it. I love having her on my side. She is one of the only people I have ever met that I know I can place my trust in fully, and that she would die before letting me down. She does it for all of us, but I can't help but think that she is one of the only reasons I have stayed here when things aren't going right.**_

_**That Tribunal was a bunch of self-righteous pompous asses. I mean really who are they to judge things when they aren't even a part of what goes on. They hide from the world and think they have the right to condemn other people. Yet they take the word of a mad scientist like Mason Eckhart who runs wild doing whatever genetic experiments he wants. I hope that blowing up the place kills their 'vigilante justice' for a while. I won't even try to delude myself into thinking that we have stopped them.**_

_**Other then Adam being captured, we haven't run into a whole lot lately. We finished the safe house checks and upgrades a few weeks ago, and now Jesse and Adam are doing most everything from Sanctuary. That has left most of us with a lot of spare time. So yesterday Shalimar and I decided to pull out our paintball guns and have some fun in the woods out back. Of course when Emma and Jesse saw Shal and I preparing for some type of war game they both wanted in. So the four of us decided to go out back and have some fun.**_

_**I knew that Shalimar was going to be my worst nightmare, but I didn't realize that Jesse had improved his aim significantly… must be all those damn video games he's been playing lately. We were going to play teams, but then opted to do an "every man for himself" game and no limits on power use or shots taken. Big mistake. Emma was shot three times in the first 20 minutes and Jesse got me within the first 10. I have to admit I was gunning for Shalimar though. She had gotten me bad before, and I wanted to get her this time around. I was doing good, acting stealthy, and then Jesse inadvertently came around behind me and got off a shot right in my back. I shot back at him but missed completely. **_

_**I was still on the hunt for Shalimar, and knew she was hiding somewhere. I was guessing up in the trees so she would have a good vantage point. I looked all over and couldn't find her. She had shot Emma and took off, and then she got Jesse. I followed the sounds and saw her flying like Tarzan through the trees and ran to keep up. I finally got her when she was in mid flight. I must have shot off 10 paintballs, but hey two hit and that's what counts, right?**_

_**Of course I had distracted her enough that she landed on a weak branch that gave under her weight. I have never seen her fall, but the girl must always land on all four. I was temporarily stunned and scared that she hurt herself. She took that to her advantage and pulled her gun out from the back of her pants and shot me. I think we must have shot off half of our paintballs at each other. When our CO cartridges finally ran out she tackled me and we began wrestling, trying to smash some of the unbroken paint balls on each other. We called it quits and headed back to Sanctuary after running out of ammunition and covered from head to toe in pink and yellow paint. On our way back, Emma and Jesse had called us saying that they were setting up a picnic at the table and we should stop playing and come eat.**_

_**All and all it was one of the really good days. We had a ton of fun hanging out and laughing. Jesse had paint splattered all in his hair, and Emma had it all over her neck. I think we killed the hot water in Sanctuary for the next 24 hours, but that stuff doesn't want to come off once it's hardened and crusted onto you!**_

_**I know that I have lots of issues… I probably need to seek therapy… but Shalimar was coming out of the shower tonight as I was going in and I couldn't help but be disappointed that I wasn't there to wash off the paint from her. So of course I start to get this fantasy going while I was in the shower. **_

_**I walked in on her. Initially she looks at me and tries to cover up. She had just gotten in and her hair was still mostly dry. She had paint all over her body. I offered to help her get cleaned up, and after a brief blush of modesty, she acquiesced. I have never seen Shalimar naked before, but the Shalimar in my fantasies has the most perfect body. I'm actually convinced that my fantasies and reality probably look almost identical. I have seen her close to naked enough times to get a feel for her dimensions. I just stare for a moment while I make a show of taking off my clothes. **_

_**Blood is quickly redistributing itself and I try to concentrate on not being too eager. That all changes when I see her looking me over with want in her eyes. She quickly catches my eye noticing me noticing her and turns around wetting her hair under the spray. Sanctuary actually has a circular shower system that spurts water like rain all around you. Shal looked so beautiful with the water cascading over her shoulders that I had to bend down and taste her skin in the guise of a soft kiss on her shoulder where she didn't have paint splashed. **_

_**She shivered like a chill went through her and quickly handed me the soap. I lathered my hands and washed her back taking my time to knead her muscles and then got her shampoo and washed her hair. I love the smell of her shampoo. It smells almost like a field of flowers. I massage her head and gently wash out all of the shampoo and she asks me to do it one more time, so I do.**_

_**Shal then spun me around and began to do my back and neck. I loved feeling her hands scrubbing my skin and then working my muscles with her strong and talented hands. She has given me a ton of back rubs, and the woman could be a professional masseuse. I feel my knees weaken as she rights the muscle in my lower back that has been bothering me all week. I feel her flesh come into contact with mine as she reaches up to shampoo my hair. She finally rinses the soap out of my hair and spins me once again. **_

_**I must blush because she smiles and begins to soap my neck and shoulders working her way slowly down to my waist but stopping before touching me where I'm aching for her touch the most. She then lathers her hands again and puts the soap into mine. I work the soap in my hands as I feel her working her way down my front and each side of my hips. I stop my hands from shaking just before I reach for her shoulders working my way down. It has become a game of sweet torture as to which one of us will give first.**_

_**I've lost, I realize as her hands softly and deftly play my body like a harp. I grab the sides of her face and pull her into a kiss that is returned with equal fever. I suck her tongue into my mouth and taste her sweetness. She is moaning and writhing against me in the most delicious of ways. **_

_**I needed her right then. I backed her up to the wall and picked her up and she wraps her legs around my waist. **_

_**Of course being alone in the shower wasn't quite as much fun as my fantasy would have been. I know that I shouldn't fantasize about her, and it's even dumber to write about them. I feel like I need to do it sometimes though. I think it keeps me sane or from grabbing her and kissing her senseless some days.**_

Shalimar felt like she was hot and ready for a cold shower from reading the fantasy. She wished they had time to do that one, and she would have to remember it for when Brennan was well again. She remembered a faint feeling of disappointment that he wasn't there for her shower, but her fantasy had been a lot less interesting. Even then they had wanted each other, but refused to act on it. Sometimes she regretted not just grabbing him and kissing him with all her heart and soul sooner. She resigned herself to being content with what they had though. Flipping to the next page she realized that there were only two more entries. She felt a wave of depression hit her and wondered why he had stopped writing. Part of her wanted to save the last two entries, but a larger part begged to know what they were. She acquiesced to the larger driving force and began to read anew.

_**May 2, 2003**_

_**I just had one of the most amazing nights of my life, and nothing really happened that was extraordinary. I guess the past few weeks have been leading up to it though. My powers out of control and nearly killing me… Emma risking herself to save my life… Me almost getting Megan killed in the process of losing control of my powers… Emma being possessed by the dead fireman… Shalimar being mind raped by that asshole, and Emma doing whatever the hell it is she did to him… (I'm wondering how strong she really has become.) To say the least… The past few weeks have been hell. Which is probably what made tonight so special.**_

_**Adam finally gave us the night off, realizing that we all needed a mental health reprieve. We basically badgered Adam until he agreed to give us a day off but with the stipulation that we do something together to refocus as a team… which was his way of saying that we are not to go to the bar or do things on our own. It was kind of a weird request when he told us, but now it makes perfect sense. We all racked our brains for something to do that would get us out of Sanctuary, but fit into Adam's specifications too. Jesse and Shalimar finally came up with an idea that appealed to all of us. **_

_**So around 6 pm last night we grabbed up the big tent and our sleeping bags and trekked down to the beach to have a cookout, bonfire, and slumber party of sorts. It sounds really stupid, but it was just what we all needed. Shalimar still wasn't nuts about the bonfire idea, but with the rest of us sitting there she refused to sit it out.**_

_**We started out the night making shish kabobs and then roasting marshmallows over the campfire. Jesse has an innate talent at campfire cooking. He managed to impress all of us with his ability. Then we all sat around and talked for hours… mostly about stuff over the past few months. We discussed how our powers were growing and changing. **_

_**Shalimar pulled me to the side and we talked for a few minutes while Jesse and Emma had taken their turn getting more wood for the fire. She told me that she would always remember where home was, but sometimes I am the one she worries will forget. She and I have come to an understanding that she needs to be out at night and do her thing, but I will most likely be waiting up for her when she gets home. Just to make sure she's alright.**_

_**The rest of the night was spent in-between deep and light conversations. We would go from talking about what we wanted to change around in Sanctuary to deep heartfelt discussions of what this past year or so had brought all of us. Jesse talked about the feelings of helplessness when he couldn't control his phasing. Emma talked about how her powers were scaring her sometimes. I admitted to my desire to have a lack of near death experiences. Shalimar talked about what it was like to have heightened senses to the point she had to concentrate not to listen in on people's conversations. **_

_**We managed to construct the tent without any problems. That was a first for us and we all had a good laugh about it. We eventually wound up playing cards and a round of monopoly. I don't know how I got suckered into that one, but it was fun and they let me be the bank man. Of course Shalimar had to take a stab about making sure all of the play money was there when we finished!**_

_**We were debating about falling asleep when Shalimar stripped down to a pair of shorts and her tank top then proceeded to go tearing out of the tent and jumped into the water. The rest of us just looked at each other shrugged and joined her. So there we were in the near-freezing water in the middle of the night having splash fights and body surfing. We eventually got too numb to stay in the water any longer and retreated to the embers of the campfire and threw more wood on to stoke it and warm ourselves. Jesse and Emma shared a blanket, Shal and I shared the other. Shal was shivering so I wrapped myself around her and kept her warm. We retreated to the tent shortly after and fell asleep.**_

_**I'm not sure why I woke up, but I know when I looked around Jesse and Shalimar were missing. By the light coming from outside the tent, I could tell it was nearing dawn. I poked my head outside and found the two of them huddled under a blanket on a large piece of driftwood facing the sea watching the sky and speaking in soft voices. When I approached, they looked up and smiled at me, then extended the blanket as an invitation. We sat in silence watching the sky change colors, and a little while later Emma came out soon after and huddled under the blanket with us. The four of us just sat and watched the sunrise wordlessly. It sounds strange, but it was the most comfortable thing. As the sun rose out of the water, I couldn't help myself but recite one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost:**_

"_**Nature's first green is gold,**_

_**Her hardest hue to hold,**_

_**Her early leaf's a flower, **_

_**But only so an hour,**_

_**Then leaf subsides to leaf,**_

_**So Eden sank to grief,**_

_**Then Dawn goes down to day,**_

_**Nothing gold can stay."**_

_**We all sat in silence and Shalimar stroked my hand. We all felt that something big was on the horizon just then. We aren't sure what it is or how soon it will be but I believe that we will face it as a team and as friends.**_

Shalimar felt her heart clench at the memory of that night. It was the last time they did anything together before the debacle with her father and Emma's death. It was strange… even then, they knew that something big was going to happen. The poem by Robert Frost that Brennan had recited had fit everything so perfectly. It talked about so much in just a few lines… The realizations of life and the harshness of reality that are thrust upon you even when you try to hold them at bay. Sometimes she wished to return to their previous lives where they enjoyed some ignorance of the Dominion and the horrors that were Adam's deepest and darkest secrets.

Looking down she found the last entry. Her finger trailed over his sharp and slanted handwriting and began to read.

_**October 30, 2003**_

_**I'm not sure what to do anymore. This Lexa bitch just shows up out of nowhere and proceeds to try to run our home and our lives. I'm pissed off at the world for taking Emma away. I'm even more pissed for having this self-centered, know-it-all, high horsed bitch come into my home and act like she is the Queen Fucking Bee.**_

_**Shal and Jesse don't want to leave their home. I can't blame them. They have pretty much grown up here. I don't want to leave either of them with this ego-maniacal princess though. So much has happened in such a short amount of time. It seems like just yesterday we were having our picnic on the beach. I can't believe it was almost five months ago. I read that entry I made and realized that our summer has been really crazy. We had been chasing leads for Eckhart and trying to protect as many new mutants as we could. **_

_**I think Shalimar is still confused about her dad. I talked to her and Jesse for a long time last night. Jesse and I both agreed that Shalimar should call the hospital and talk to her dad just to make sure he is ok. She loves him as much as a scared daughter can.**_

_**I don't feel any remorse for killing Eckhart. I probably should, but I can't bring myself to because of what he has done to all of us. He almost killed me. He was evil. I don't think he ever had a good intention in his life. I've never killed anyone in cold blood before. It bothers me that I'm not bothered more. **_

_**Shalimar has become my strength. She was ready to tear down the place brick by brick just to save me. Maybe that's why I've decided to try to be more aware of other women. I can't keep going the way I am with her. It's not fair to her or myself. I've come to terms with the fact that I will always care for her deeply, but there is too much between us to risk taking things any farther. **_

_**Jesse has been the first to accept Lexa. I'm not a fan of her. When she kissed me at the casino, I couldn't help but kiss her back. I don't know why. Stupid sex drive! I realized later that she was battling me for dominance. She wants control and to be the leader. She is going to have a fight every step of the way before I give in. She doesn't care about Shalimar or Jesse and I know they can both look after themselves… they have proven that more then enough times. But they are nothing to Lexa except expendable. I have thought of leaving but I realize now that my fate still lies with this team. I need to be here to protect and keep watch over them whenever and however I can. **_

That was it. Shalimar read the last few lines over and over. He had stayed because of her and Jesse. There were no more entries. Not even mentioning Samantha or the child that Ashlocke's remaining crew told him about. In a way Shalimar was happy about that. She knew that he had a connection with Samantha that would have changed her and Brennan's relationship forever. She felt selfish and wrong for being glad that the other women hadn't had time to take Brennan away from her.

Deciding not to dwell on negative thoughts and punish herself for things beyond her control, Shalimar decided to get up and go talk to the others. Judging by the sun it was late afternoon already, and they still had some planning and packing to finish before tomorrow.

* * *

_Okay I'm sorry the journal entries ended there. I hope your not too mad! I needed to show a change that occured in Brennan though between Season 2 and Season 3. His character changed a lot and I felt that some of the character ideals he started with weren't priorities for him anymore. Both he and Shalimar had very bloody scenes in the first ep of the 3rd season involving on screen deaths of other characters in a more grapic display. That was a big change from the previous. I needed to show that their characters were changing._

_The poem is by Robert Frost and I have to thank S.E. Hinton who wrote the book, The Outsiders, (If you haven't read it you might want to try it!) That was the first place I was exposed to Robert Frost's work. The poem fit so well with what I was writing I had to include it. I also have to thank my english teacher who got me hooked on the book way back in grammer school. She was one of those teachers that change your life._

_If you get a chance check out some of Robert Frosts other poetry. It is very good._

_Okay, begging to know what you all thought. I don't care what you write, it doesn't have to be long. Like it, hate it?_


	16. Getting Out Alive

_Okay, here is the action chapter that took me like forever to write! I have always been pretty good at the angst, smut, and romance end, but this was new territory for me. I hope it is well done. Please let me know what you think. _

_Thanks to Stephanie, Sara, and Rachel for all of their help and support!_

_Welcome all new readers. Slshadowfox - I'm so glad that someone else is familiar with the work. _

_The poem was from when Pony Boy and Johnny were standing at the back of the church watching the sunrise. - if anyone is looking for where it is in the book. _

_Thanks to Three Days Grace for the Chapter title. It's definitely more then fitting._

* * *

**16 Getting Out Alive 16**

Jesse heard more then felt his elbow pop as he landed on the cold concrete of his cell. He lay on his side until he heard the door shut and lock closed before he attempted to move. When he finally moved, he sat up slowly and tested the offending limb cautiously. It was a little sore but not broken or out of joint, which was a good thing he mused to himself.

He had just endured a good two hours of being poked with a cattle prod and then strapped to a chair while a telepath tried to read his thoughts. He smirked to himself as he remembered the huge 'Fuck You' she read right off the bat. They were trying to get all the information about the safe houses out of him. He didn't know why they thought he would be able to remember all of the locations and ID codes. He was smart but no edict memory whiz.

"Jess?" He heard Brennan call through the door.

"Yeah." He winced at the raw feeling in his throat. He didn't remember screaming, but it was a possibility.

"You ok?"

"I'll be alright." Jesse said, making sure that the rest of his body was still intact and not badly injured. Finding only a few sore spots as he stood and stretched, he contented himself with the idea he would heal.

"You scared me, man. I heard you yelling." Brennan said hearing the failed lie in Jesse's voice.

"I kinda blacked out for a little bit, but I'll be alright." Jesse said lying down on his uncomfortable cot, wondering if the floor would be more comfortable.

"Get some sleep and let me know when you wake up." Brennan said as he paced his cell.

"Alright."

Brennan had been back in his cell for about two hours and was a little better then when he had been thrown in there. He was pretty sure he had at least one cracked rib, and he had to reset one of his fingers that had been popped out of joint. He'd had problems with that finger before and was glad that he had the cold stone to rest it on in the cell to keep the swelling down.

When they had dragged him from his cell this time, he was instantly thrown in the chair and belted down. That damn bitch of a Madam Cleo wannabe fortune teller grabbed his head and just started flashing images of everyone he had ever cared about being tortured. He tried to keep his feelings for Shalimar buried deep. Tried to group her memories in with other conquests so he could avoid seeing her in pain but the 'Tell Tale Heart' gave him away. Once they'd found his love for Shalimar in his head, it was a horrible torture of watching her being beaten and hurt…sometimes at his own hand. The mind was a dangerous playground. He realized that, even though he tried hard to focus on the fact that it wasn't real, it felt like he was standing there beating her with the club and whipping her porcelain back till it was ravaged red. It almost made him want to just give up the information they wanted…anything to stop those images. When that hadn't worked they'd started to physically injure him. He was hit with a bat several times and they popped one of his fingers out of its joint. They'd threatened to break the rest but it had almost been relaxing. He didn't mind the pain…as long as it wasn't Shalimar's. Finally they gave up and dumped him into the cell again moments before he passed out.

Brennan had come to hearing Jesse's screaming down the hall. He wished desperately to be able to help or do something for the younger man. He felt inadequate and useless so he reset his finger as some sort of atonement for his failings.

He breathed a sigh of relief that he was pretty sure the telepath hadn't caught the dream or, if she did, that was written off as his subconscious desires for his love and his freedom. He stood from his position by the door and walked over to the end of the cot and sat. He scrubbed his face with his hands wondering silently how much more he could physically and mentally take before he cracked. He'd held himself strong for so long, but each time was getting harder. They had given them a break for a few…days, he guessed… before messing with them again. Brennan wished he had a better measure of time, but he hadn't been able to see a sunrise or set in a long time and lost track of the days all together. He lowered his upper body onto the mattress with his feet still on the floor and stared up at the cracking paint on the ceiling. Silently he said a prayer that it hadn't been just a dream and the girls were coming for them soon.

Jesse's thoughts were almost a mirror to Brennan's as he lay in the next room trying to get comfortable. He had never really acknowledged any higher authority in his life, but lately he'd taken to praying to whoever would hear him that they would be rescued soon. Sometimes he wondered if he should just pray for a quick death, but hadn't surrendered that far just yet.

* * *

The cool weather had finally forced Lexa to return to the house. She had stayed out for a little over an hour before she'd began to feel too numb. Her mind was still whirling with the prospects of different lives that she could have. In the end, she decided to put all thoughts of possibilities off until Jesse and Brennan were safe. 

Lexa walked into the house and went to her room to find some warmer clothes. She found an old sweater of Jesse's that she'd grabbed when they had moved and contented herself with putting it on, feeling a slight comfort in his smell that had remained embedded in the fabric. She walked out of her room and walked by Shalimar's door, contemplating whether or not to go in. In the end she decided that she would give the feral time to come out on her own.

Lexa gathered that Beau and Angel were down in the basement from the fact that she hadn't seen them upstairs when she came inside. Lexa decided to see what they were doing in hopes of keeping herself motivated and hoped they might be reviewing the schematics of the facility that Brennan and Jesse were supposedly at. Descending the stairs, she found both of her friends sitting at the computer terminal looking at the 3D image of the compound. She smiled to herself as she realized that her new teammates hated the idea of a failed mission as much as she did.

"Hey, Lexa." Angel said, turning to face Lexa as she came down the stairs and turned towards them.

"You guys are still working on that?" Lexa asked. She wasn't quite sure when she began to accept the two ferals as friends and teammates, but realized that she did. The thought almost surprised her but in a pleasant way.

"Well we went over the existing plans and have been crafting alternatives just in case one falls through." Beau said turning his head away from the computer. He looked up at Lexa with mild interest before asking, "Are you going to be okay?"

Lexa stood next to him and nodded but answered slowly, "Yeah, I think I'll be fine. We just need to focus on saving the guys now and worry about the rest later." She felt herself smile. It was a little tight but not completely false. But even that made her uncomfortable so she decided to quickly change the subject. "Wanna show me what you've got so far?"

"Sure," Angel said as she flipped the schematics around to show an old sewage access tunnel that they'd over looked. "We found this. It's not our first choice obviously…" She shuddered delicately at the thought of the smell. "But it's there to use if we need it." Both women looked at each other and wrinkled their noses then laughed at the similar expressions. The three continued to evaluate the plans that they had set and look for any alternates that could be used.

Shalimar left her room and joined the trio about an hour later. They talked for a while about the different points of access they had noticed and began packing and planning the equipment that they would need. Much of the night was spent in silent apprehension of what the following days would bring. When they had finally finished packing, it was edging on midnight and the four decided that it would be better to try to sleep tonight.

Shalimar lay awake in bed, staring out the window for a good two hours before finally giving up and marching into the kitchen to make something warm to drink. Her mind ran to the nights when she and Brennan would sit up talking and drinking mugs of peppermint hot chocolate. Brennan was a horrible cook but had found this recipe for peppermint hot chocolate that was amazing. So that became a treat he would make them from time to time, more often than not, it was when neither of them could sleep.

She mixed the milk and the chocolate with some peppermint extract. She wasn't sure if it would turn out as good as Brennan's, but it was something to soothe her. As she poured her mug, Lexa came out and plopped down at the table with lines of frustration marring her face.

"Can't sleep either?" Shalimar asked, pouring another mug of the chocolaty mix and placing it in front of Lexa.

Lexa looked like she was going to bite out a remark before something flashed across her face and she took a deep breath "I almost never have trouble sleeping. This is so aggravating."

"Welcome to my world." Shalimar said with a wry grin. "I haven't slept more then a few hours at a shot in a while. It gets annoying to say the least."

Lexa sipped the frothy mix and looked up at Shalimar as she took the seat opposite her. "It's good… definitely not Brennan's, but close."

"Thanks, I'd hoped it wouldn't turn out bad."

"Shal, Brennan made it," Lexa said with a look of disbelief. "I'm pretty sure a trained seal couldn't get this recipe wrong."

"Just don't tell him that. He was excited when he discovered he could make something without the fire alarm going off." Shalimar took a sip of her cocoa and sat thoughtfully for a moment. "Trust me… Jesse was not always the chef that he is today."

Lexa's eyebrow shot up in a quizzical look. "Really?"

"The first time he tried to cook us a meal he made grilled cheese but forgot to put any grease in the pan and put the heat on high. He then left the kitchen to talk to Adam. I smelled the fire from my room with the door closed!" Shalimar smiled as she reminisced. "Sanctuary smelled like burnt grilled cheese for a week. It was horrible."

Lexa and Shalimar sat talking about stories of old times for a few hours. They both avoided asking what the other thought about restarting Mutant X, but instead Lexa told Shalimar about some of Adam's follies and Shalimar telling Lexa of what it was like when Adam had first found her. Eventually they felt the ease of sleepiness come over them and decided to try to sleep again.

When Lexa laid down this time, she imagined how good it would feel to have Jesse by her side again, hopefully in less then 36 hours. She had no idea when she had developed this power of positive thought but enjoyed the feeling. Slowly she slipped into a blissful dreamless sleep.

Shalimar was not so successful, and eventually falling into a restless sleep with dreams of past horrors. Then sometime during the course of her dreams she felt a presence in her life that made everything brighter and she felt safer. Finally the presence took on Adam's face. She held his hand as he told her, "Things will be different and you _will _find your way. Just remember to keep true to yourself." These words he had spoken to her when she had made the cut for the team and Nikki had been placed with her foster family. Slowly the horrible dreams faded and she dreamed of memories from happier times.

* * *

The four arrived at Ian's house in mid-morning. The weather was brisk and the sky was a beautiful sapphire blue. It had been a quiet drive to Ian's, everyone absorbed into their own thoughts. As they carried their packs into Ian's home he met them with a grin and aided them in carrying in the supplies. 

Once they had all settled in, they began to look over the plans from the other night and checked over the infrared maps again. "Beau and Lexa will gain access through the sewer tunnels," Ian started as they looked over the maps and the plans.

"Why me? Again?" Lexa asked more then a little unhappy about this plan.

"Lexa, this is the best entry and exit we have. It is the only access point not directly on site. We need you with your laser light show to get through those grates and locks. Otherwise we will be toting oxygen tanks and acetylene… and that's just too much to carry around when we need stealth and speed." Ian answered calmly.

"I understand, but just for the record I'm not happy about it!" Lexa grumbled.

Shalimar and Angel tried to hide their grins as Ian turned to them. "You two will be the diversionary force."

"Does that mean we get to kick ass and take names?" Shalimar said with a growing grin as she turned to Angel, who had a similar smile plastered on her face.

"The taking names part is optional, of course, but essentially you two _will _be there in the kick ass capacity. You are both going to be going right through the front door. It will be fairly easy going once I disabled the generator."

The four laughed and continued their planning into the evening before relaxing and mentally preparing themselves for the tasks at hand.

* * *

Jesse looked up as a guard by the name of Ryan opened his door with a wicked smile on his face. "It's time for you to come out and have some more fun." 

Brennan sat in his cell and cringed as he heard Jesse's cell door open and began to bang on his door in an effort to make them choose him instead. He tried to taunt the guard through the steel but was only met with the echoes of his threats reverberating off the walls of his concrete prison.

* * *

As Ian's SUV arrived a few miles out from the site where Brennan and Jesse were being held, no one spoke. Different thoughts were running through each mind yet all focused in on the task at hand as soon as the vehicle came to a stop. All five exited the vehicle and pulled out the equipment they had packed in near silence, only murmuring and giving short nods to each other in clarification. After strapping on their gear, they began to jog through the woods on the course that they had plotted to ensure them coming around the west side of the building where the one sewer entrance was. 

When they reached the entrance, both Beau and Lexa worked on opening the grate while Ian, Angel and Shalimar moved around the side of the building. There were a few cameras at this section, but they skirted the outside of the barbed wire fence until they came to the section containing the generator. The box was about 100 yards away against the side of the building. Ian began to make an entry through the fence and plot his course to the box.

Ian looked at Shalimar and Angel. "Eight minutes. Be in position." Angel set her watch and nodded. Both Shalimar and Angel took off in the direction of the main entrance. They all had their tasks memorized as much as they could by heart. The two female ferals crouched low by the right of the front gate using some rocks and bushes that had probably been once for decoration but now were so overgrown that they made a good cover. There was a black suburban parked to the right of the entrance, blocking the view of the guards they could hear just beyond the vehicle.

Angel glanced at her watch. Two minutes to go. Shalimar listened to a few guards outside and counted the voices to know there were three talking. She signed to Angel who agreed in the assessment, and Angel glanced at her watch again. Thirty seconds. They began to creep closer to the gate.

All at once there was a huge electrical crack and the power dimmed in the building. Shalimar and Angel used the distraction to sneak up behind the guards who were now looking into the facility noticing the distinct lack of lights. Shalimar flipped over the hood of the truck and hit two of the guards in the head with a split kick while Angel grabbed the third from behind and threw him headlong into the windshield of the truck.

The two men Shalimar kicked both shook off their daze and picked themselves up off the ground, turning to face Shalimar who grabbed one by the hair and bent his face up to meet hers "Can I have this dance?" she sneered. He only smiled and grabbed at her knee, pulling her down, forcing her to release his hair as he grabbed for his gun. He didn't plan on her catlike reflexes as she pulled herself into a crouch and pushed them both forward into a roll, landing him on his back with one of her knees in his throat and the other on the hand that had grabbed his gun.

The second thug that she had hit was now on his feet and lumbering toward Shalimar. Angel grabbed the guy, trying to extricate himself from the windshield and kicked him hard, pushing him into the guy making his way toward Shalimar. Both men fell only a few feet away from where Shalimar was disarming her opponent and choked him with direct pressure to his throat. Shalimar had spent enough time in hiding, and enough time being scared of these people. She felt almost as she did after Emma had died and Adam had disappeared, letting them think he was dead. A darkness came over her, and Angel could only watch as Shalimar rolled off of her victim and knocked both of the other men's heads together as they tumbled toward her, and leapt to her feet.

Angel looked at Shalimar for a moment before Shalimar gave her a look that said this was all business. Shaking her head, Angel followed her lead as both women's eyes took on the telltale feral glow and made their way into the darkened interior.

* * *

Jesse sat in the chair as the psionic tried to pick apart his brain and his memories. He felt like his head was ready to split open. His captures had strapped him tightly into a chair, making sure the governor on his neck was still activated. His only thought was to try not to cry out in pain as the psionic fished through all of the memories she could find to get anything the Dominion could use.

* * *

Even though Beau and Lexa had taken sewer access tunnels much to her disdain, she had cut easily through the lock on the grate guarding the opening with her laser, and they followed the tunnel in. Once inside, Beau checked his watch "Nine minutes" he grunted. 

They began to silently move toward the access point that had been decided on. They were going to be on the far end of the complex when they emerged. By the time they reached the sub-basement door, they only had three minutes to spare. Lexa began to cut the locks and Beau kept an eye and ear out for any unwanted company. When she had finally cut through the lock on the door, they only had twenty seconds left by Beau's watch. As they counted down, they tensely waited in silence. After what felt like 20 minutes, the lights went down and the generator was disabled. They made their move.

The two proceeded into the facility and noted the lack of guards in the hallway as they made their way down the abandoned corridor. At the first junction, they encountered the first of the guards. Lexa bent the light around her and Beau so that the two were invisible to the century doing a patrol. As he passed, Beau grabbed him and knocked him unconscious and grabbed his radio. Lexa looked quizzically at Beau for a second when she dropped the invisibility.

"Monitoring the enemy, tactics 102." Beau said simply as he pushed past her down the hallway.

Lexa just shot him a look that said '_Duh'_ as he passed and followed him down the hallway. As they approached the next intersection, Lexa bent the light around her again and ducked around the corner to see if anyone was coming. There were another three guards at the end of the hall. As she ducked back behind the wall, she became visible and told Beau who was already preparing a few gas canisters to knock them out.

* * *

Shalimar and Angel plunged headlong into the darkness of the front entrance. Both pairs of eyes glowed in the darkness as they came across the next group of five guards on their way out to see what was happening. Shalimar leapt into the air and grabbed the first guard around the neck with her legs locking them behind his neck and using the momentum to flip him forward and onto his back. 

Angel grabbed the second guard who attempted to use a tazer prod on her and grabbed the stick butting it into the guys face breaking his nose. The next guard grabbed both of Angel's arms as she brought her head forward and then slammed it back into his face. He relinquished his grip momentarily, but more then enough time for her to move and throw him into the guy with the prod.

Shalimar kipped up from the floor where she left the other guard and met the next two headlong. She smiled as they brought out the neck restraints. They had no idea how feral she could really be. She waited for both to spring the braces and grabbed both ends just before the clamped on her neck. She then swung the guards still attached to the ends of the clamps into the walls. She was immediately on the closest grabbing him by the shirt with both hands to pull him up. He took advantage of both of her hands being occupied and kicked out at her knee and punching her in the jaw. She saw the leg move at the last minute and managed to avoid having her leg removed from under her, but missed the punch to the face. She dropped him and shook off the pain with a roll of her neck.

Angel had grabbed one guard, pushing him into the other. As both were momentarily stunned, she pushed off the ground doing a flying round house into both of their heads. Both were out cold before they hit the ground.

Shalimar leered at the guard who got in the punch and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, barely noticing the blood on it. The guard advanced on her, trying to grapple her around the neck again. She only smiled and bent herself backwards as he got the clamp close to her. She sprung into a backwards flip kicking him in the face as she went around. As she landed the other guard grabbed her by the throat with his hands, having lost his clamp when he was flung. He missed Angel coming around to the side to snap kick him in the side of the head dropping him to the floor. The two ferals grinned at each other as they took off down the hall to the main room.

* * *

Once Ian had disengaged the generator he took off back into the woods. He ran until he got to the car. He looked at his watch and cursed under his breath that it had taken him longer to get there then he intended. He got in the truck and took off toward the sewer entrance.

* * *

Lexa and Beau snuck down the corridor under the cloak of Lexa's light bending. They approached the three guards who were wondering about the strange occurrences when their radio crackled. 

"We've got two at the main entrance. The one is definitely one of the girls we're looking for." Then the transmission was ended with a grunt.

Lexa dropped the cloak and looked at Beau. "Guess the gigs up. Do you want to hand over our friends now?"

The one guard reached for his radio, but was knocked out by Beau before his hand even reached the mike. The second squared off with Lexa for a moment before making a well placed kick toward her abdomen. She stepped to the side just in time to avoid it, and grabbed his leg propelling him into Beau's waiting uppercut. The third fumbled with his radio and was grabbed by Lexa from behind while he had focused all of his attentions on the larger man before him. Lexa put him in a choke hold and waited as he dropped to the floor. The two smirked at each other as they continued down the hall to the back section where they were hoping Brennan and Jesse were being held.

* * *

Shalimar and Angel ran into the main room to see six people in the room and Jesse strapped into the chair. The lights had been knocked out, but the windows had let enough light through to see the layout of the room well. 

As the guards noticed the two newcomers, they smiled. "We've been expecting you." Said the overly large one and grabbed a table that was close by, picking it up by one leg and hurling it at Angel and Shalimar. They both managed to dive out of the way just in time. They were then met with an onslaught of the other guards.

Jesse was drained, but on seeing Shalimar he had his hopes renewed and began to struggle in his binds. He tried to mass and phase without any success. He looked up just in time to see a guard who had the ability to create sonic disruptions at Shalimar and yelled to her, "Shal, behind you!"

Shalimar turned just in time to see the mutant pulling his arms back. She needed no motivation to find out what he planned on doing, and quickly jumped from her position to a ten foot high ledge and before the attacker realized she moved, she was already grappling him from behind. "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to pick on girls?" She bit scathingly in his ear as she pushed his legs out from underneath him and brought his back crashing onto her knee.

Angel was attacked by another guard that looked normal until she blinked with a vertical set of eyelids. Angel watched as the woman approached waiting to see what she planned on doing. The woman lunged at Angel with a fierce and dexterous attack. The fight was on as Angel and the woman threw a flurry of punches and kicks. At one point the woman grabbed Angel's arm and tried to twist it up behind her, but Angel was too good for that move and threw the woman over her shoulder. The woman hissed as she landed and looked up into Angel's face and spat a gooey substance that fastened quickly to Angel's mouth and neck with a stunning property. She was still able to breathe through her nose, but was distracted and stunned enough to let her assailant get in several good punches before she fell back to the floor.

Shalimar watched the woman spit on Angel and then hit her several times. She now had three others taking her on as she looked around. The big guy and two others that were carrying stun sticks. She let the two with the sticks rush her and leapt up right before they reached her, then kicked both legs out pushing them toward the oversized behemoth. He was able to avoid the two fumbling guards and charged her. She had just landed and wasn't able to move quick enough before he caught her and shoved her back into the wall. She fought the wave of dizziness that accompanied the hit and jabbed him in the throat. He winced momentarily, but still had her pinned to the wall and adjusted his grip to her throat as her feet dangled precariously off the floor, choking her as the two guards approached from both sides. She felt her air supply being lessened and knew she had to act fast. She saw Angel on the other side of the room trying to gain her footing and retaliate, but taking a beating in the process. She looked at Jesse's pained hazel eyes as they connected with her own.

Suddenly something snapped in her, and Shalimar felt as if her fight for everything the past few years had come down to this one moment. She felt an animalistic impulse come over her in a kill or be killed sense and everything began to come into sharp focus. Her eyes glowed amber as she looked down at her attacker and used the wall to brace her back off of bending her legs up before he could stop her. She wrapped around his neck while prying his hands away from her neck, breaking four of his fingers in the process. She squeezed her legs tighter then she thought was possible until he slumped to the ground and then turned to face the other two men. She reached quickly right and grabbed the closest, punching him so hard in the gut he almost retched on her and then threw him headlong into the wall. She grabbed the stun stick and zapped the beast of a man that was blinking and trying to regain conscious as she stalked toward the other assailant who tried to hit her with the stick and realized too late that she was much too fast for him. She snapped kicked his knee and heard the shattering of bone as he went to the floor in a heap.

Angel had been trying to gain her footing, but felt disoriented. She was kicked in the ribs as she attempted to get to all fours. She had to do something. As she lied on the floor she realized that Shalimar was having the life strangled out of her by the big guy and feared the worst. She turned again and with new determination she wiped her hand across her face, trying to pull the tingling matter away from her. They were too close to stop now, and only the woman who was attempting to start probing Jesse's brain was unaffected by the fight going on around them. With one last surge of energy she caught her opponent's foot as it came up to kick her again and pulled hard causing the woman to land on her back with a thump. Angel gave her a hard upper cut to the jaw before the woman knew what was happening. The woman's head lolled backward. Just as Angel looked up, she saw Shalimar kicking the last of the guards and the big guy sprawled in an undignified heap on the floor. Angel looked over to Shalimar and called out, "Shal, get Jesse!," before resuming her attempts at fighting the weakness.

Shalimar looked over to where Jesse was seated and saw the psionic trying to probe his brain. She had visions of Eckhart trying to do the same to Brennan and her last threads of control snapped. She launched across the room and grabbed the psionic by the neck and twisted. For a moment she saw only red and didn't know what she had done until she heard Jesse's soft voice calling her name.

"Shal? Shal is it you?"

She spun on her heel and felt her heart melt as she gazed upon the man that she had come to think of as her brother. The world came into focus as she looked at his battered form. "Yeah Jess, it's me." She said before quickly going about undoing his bindings to free him.

* * *

Lexa and Beau went about dispatching the remaining two guards with ease. Neither had been prepared to deal with the surprise attack as Beau grabbed the next one before he could move and punched him in the chest and then hit him with a right hook. 

Lexa grabbed the other guard from behind and kicked his legs out from under him then delivering a hard blow to the back of his head.

"Let's get them and get out of here!" Beau said marching down the hallway.

They continued down the hallway until they got to the door that marked Jesse's cell and Brennan's across from it. Lexa looked to Jesse's door and noticed with dismay that it was open and he was no where to be found. Spinning around she saw a lock secured to the door across the hall and severed it with practiced ease. Throwing the door open, she found Brennan lying on his cot.

Brennan looked up to see which guard had come to bother him now, but was caught off guard by the countenance of Beau and Lexa standing in his doorway. He shook his head to try and refocus his eyes.

"Brennan!" Lexa cried as she sprung across the room to see him. His body was considerably leaner, and he had grown a lot of stubble over his cheeks and jaw. He was bruised, but still had some fire burning in his eyes.

"What the fuck?" Brennan spat, his mind still reeling from the psionic torture. "This isn't going to work. It isn't real," He said in an almost defeated tone.

"Brennan, look at me." Lexa said grabbing his face in her hands and pulling his eyes up to meet hers. "We're getting you out of here. Do you think you can stand?"

He stared straight into her eyes and attempted to focus for another second. "Lexa?"

She bit back the tears and nodded. "Come on Bren, we're going home."

Beau had looked at his watch and up at Lexa. "We have to move now."

Brennan stood and ignored the fatigue in his muscles as Lexa and Beau led him down the hallway.

* * *

Shalimar and Angel were glad they had planned on meeting Lexa and Beau to exit through the sewers. There was no way they could get Jesse out the front door without a huge fight. After releasing his binds, they each grabbed under an arm and half-carried him down the back hallway to the junction where they were meeting Beau and Lexa. They arrived at the juncture first and Angel poked her head around the corner to see if their cohorts where far. She turned with a wry grin at Shalimar. Shalimar poked her head around the corner and saw the trio coming down the hall then smiled back at Angel. 

Lexa, Beau, and Brennan approached the corner and saw Angel step out from behind with Jesse and Shalimar in tow. For a moment Lexa's eyes soaked in Jesse's haggard appearance. He had blood dripping from a cut on his temple, a black eye, and some dry blood and swelling around the corner of his mouth. He was giving her a faint smile though and she knew he would be alright.

Shalimar drank in the sight of Brennan. He was thinner and scruffier, but seemed to be standing on his own and functioning fine. She smiled at him and felt a thrill run through her when he gave her a small grin in return.

Beau broke the moment by suggesting they move out and leave the place far behind. With nods and voices of assent they took off down the hallway toward the sewer entrance. Shalimar and Angel supported Jesse as they began their trek. Brennan shook off Beau and Lexa's offer of help and followed them down the hall trying to shake the weakness he felt.

As they came around the last corner to the entrance, a gate slammed shut in front of them. It was an old wire mesh gate probably used in the prison days to control riots, but now it barred their escape. They heard guards charging down the hallway and weapons cocking as they rounded the corner and drew down on them. The six could only look at each other quickly as Angel and Shalimar put Jesse on the ground by Lexa who refused his offers to try to phase through the gate.

"Lexa cut the gate." Beau commanded as he, Angel and Shalimar began a flurry of attacks on their foes.

Brennan began to try and charge himself, enjoying the feeling of the electricity as it danced in his fingers, but was suddenly knocked to the ground as the head guard, Ryan, approached with the transmitter for the governors. Brennan hit his knees when the governor was activated and Jesse writhed on the floor in pain trying to escape the burning sensations.

Shalimar looked up and saw Ryan holding the transmitter. With a swift kick she had removed it from his hand and shattered it against the far wall. His face contorted in anger as he aimed his gun at her and fired. Several shots rang out, and Shalimar yelped then dropped to the ground. Brennan had looked up just in time to see Shalimar's blond form collapse to the cement.

"Ryan!" Brennan said standing and feeling hatred permeate every pore of his being. Finally being free of the governor's leash, Brennan had sent a charge of electricity Ryan's way before the opponent had time to realize what had happened. Ryan shook with the voltage and collapsed to the floor. Brennan sprinted the short distance to where Shalimar lay on her side bleeding from an abdominal wound.

"Shal?" Brennan whispered as he looked into her eyes and saw her looking back at him with a sad smile on her face.

"You weren't supposed to be rescuing me." She said, wincing at the pain shooting though her.

"You'll be ok. We'll get you out of here and get you fixed up okay?" He ripped off one of her long sleeves from her shirt, that were cleaner then his shirt, and applied pressure to her wound.

"We're through!" Lexa cried as she helped Jesse to his feet and looked around to see Beau and Angel beating the crap out of the last few guards and noticed Brennan hovering over Shalimar. She had heard the gunshots, but was too focused on getting through the gate to notice what had happened. She saw the blood running from under Shalimar as Brennan held her. "Shal? Brennan what happened?"

"Ryan shot her. We have to get her to a doctor now." He bit back the pain and focused on getting out of the facility in tact. He picked Shalimar up, even though she wanted to walk herself he forced her to realize they didn't have time for her to be stubborn.

Beau was shot through his upper arm, but it was a clean shot through and through that had seemed to avoid the bone. Angel had wrapped it with a part of her vest to stem the flow of blood. Angel was slightly bruised, but seemed to have no other major injuries.

Together the six raced out of the sewers. Brennan carrying Shalimar's form, and Lexa supporting Jesse's weak one. They reached the surface and saw Ian sitting in the SUV waiting for them. They jumped in and he took off down the road.

"Ian call that doctor friend of yours. Shal and Beau were shot." Lexa said turning around to check on Brennan still holding Shalimar in his lap as she lolled her head on his shoulder. Brennan was trying to keep her alert and with them. While Angel was alternating care between Beau and Jesse.

Ian could only look in the rear view mirror and frown. He dialed his cell and pushed harder on the gas, trying to cut their return trip time down as much as he possibly could.

* * *

_I know I'm evil, but I haven't had a cliffie really in the whole story. So I had to do something for some suspense! Please R&R let me know what you thought!_


	17. Pieces Remaining

_Hi new reader! Thank you everyone who has taken the time to review. It helps immensely when I'm trying to find the motivation to finish this. I hope you all think I should continue..._

_I'm uploading this before I bounce out the door to work so hopefully I don't screw up too bad, If I do just let me know. I have one more chapter complete after this one and I'm working on Chapter 19 now. I wanted to have it done a week ago, but other circumstances dictated that I couldn't. I promise to try and get caught up._

_AN: Let's just say for the sake of argument that Ian has a scanner like Adam did in Sanctuary, as well as a mock lab set up. I figure that he is a techno-wizard of sorts. Let me know if you have a real problem with this and I will come up with something else, but I really didn't want to take 2 more months to get this chapter out._

_The characters Kelly, Ian and Mira are all mine. Just ask if you ever want to borrow:)_

* * *

**17 Pieces Remaining 17**

The ride back to Ian's house felt like it took a day and a half and not the hour and a half it actually did. Shalimar was in and out of conscious during the last leg of the trip. She had lost a lot of blood, as much as Angel and Beau knew about basic medical, both agreed that the faster she saw the doctor, the better.

Brennan clung to her in the back seat, trying to keep her awake and only relinquishing his grip on her long enough for Angel and Beau to examine her wound and apply pressure to help stem some of the bleeding.

Lexa spared a glance to Shalimar and reached back holding her hand briefly. She had jumped into the front passenger side and wasn't able to effectively reach the rest of the team. She was damned sure not going to have Ian stop so she could play musical car seats. That in mind, she felt powerless as Angel tended to Jesse who was in the third row seat with her and Beau.

"Angel, how is he?" Lexa asked finally finding her voice and hating how low and meek it sounded to her own ears.

Angel looked up with a small smile "He looks physically well. He might have a broken rib and a few other abrasions and contusions, but he seems intact. His pulse is strong and his lungs are clear, and he's not having any major trouble breathing. I think he just needs some recovery time and a few good meals." She paused, looking directly at Lexa to let her know that she was telling everything she knew. "I'm confident he will be ok, but I'll feel better once the doctor looks at him and gives him a clean bill."

"Okay, Jesse, you hear that? If you aren't okay, I'll kick your ass." Lexa said biting back the tears of frustration mingled with relief and caught Brennan's gaze. He looked terrified. She had never seen that look in his eyes and it took a moment to place it, but that was the only emotion that really fit. "She'll be fine, Bren. You think she made it this far to quit now? Besides she still owes you an ass kicking for pulling that cowboy stunt and getting yourselves caught." She smiled softly as Brennan's lips twitched and his eyes returned their vigil on Shalimar.

"S-She's right you know." Shalimar said softly.

"What?" Brennan said moving his ear closer to her mouth to hear her better.

"I still have to kick your ass." Shalimar said with a smirk and grimaced at the pain shooting through her once again.

"I'm going to hold you to that." Brennan said stroking her hair and face, trying not to jostle or move her which could make the bleeding worse. He continued to keep constant pressure on the hole in her abdomen trying to limit the loss of blood.

When they finally arrived back at Ian's cabin, there was a blue sedan in the driveway that was unfamiliar to everyone, sans Ian. As it pulled into view, Ian let out a sigh of relief, "She's here." He said, disbelief almost coloring his voice. He'd had no idea if she would make it before they did, but once again his friend had pulled through for him. When he parked the car, he and Lexa quickly jumped out to help Brennan get Shalimar out without causing her more injury.

Shalimar tried to bite back the yelp of pain with no success as they picked her up and moved her from the vehicle to carry her into the house. She was hazy on a lot of the events that had just happened. She tried to keep hanging on to every word and action in the car. Towards the end though, she felt exhausted from trying to keep conscious and the events of the day all compiling into a big jumble in her mind. Brennan kept talking to her the whole ride. She was so glad to hear his voice again. She stayed awake just to make sure she didn't miss a word he said. Hell, she thought, he could have been reading the manual to the car and she would revel in the fact that he was there talking and holding onto her again.

When they entered the house, the doctor already had set up in a back room that Ian used for his medical station. A hand held scanning device and medical supplies were placed on the one counter top and a lot of plastic covering the other surfaces.

Brennan had refused to let anyone else carry Shalimar and set her gently down on the table. The doctor immediately began to tend to her, shooing everyone else out with the exception of Ian.

"I'm not going anywhere." Brennan said standing firmly.

The doctor took his stance into account and decided to pick her battles with him. "Alright, you can stay, but you have to stay out of my way or I _will_ kick you out!" the doctor said, equally firm. Taking in his battered appearance quickly and deciding that he was not injured nearly as badly as the woman on the table, she set to work on examining Shalimar and preparing her instruments and supplies. The doctor started an IV and prepared a bolus of fluid to administer to Shalimar.

As they stood there Ian approached Brennan with a tool in hand. "Here, at least let me remove that governor from your neck." Ian said looking to Brennan as he watched the doctor. Brennan gave the other man a small nod and sat by Shalimar's head as Ian removed the offending device.

Shalimar glanced up at Brennan while the doctor was starting the IV, the painful prick in her hand waking her abruptly. Suddenly her head felt clearer then it had in a while. She looked up and caught Brennan's rich chocolate eyes. There were so many things she hadn't gotten to tell him. She only regretted the things that she had never said or done with him. She had no idea where to start.

"What is it, Shal?" Brennan had noticed the sudden clarity in her eyes as they looked deeply into his. He moved his head closer to hers.

At a loss for words, she met his lips in a soft kiss as he turned back to look at her when she didn't speak. He returned it as if she was made of glass. His hand stroked her face gently, and she reveled in the soft touch. He was finally home, her mind kept repeating. No matter what happened to her now, she knew he was safe. That was the last coherent thought she had before drifting off to a drug induced sleep.

Brennan watched in fear and nervousness as the doctor went to work on Shalimar. He was thrilled to have kissed her once more. The kiss was soft, but reassuring. It was the grounding that he needed to know that this was all real, and he really wasn't dreaming. The doctor, who Ian had called Mira, had retrieved all of the instruments that she intended to use. Mira glanced up at Brennan, motioning for him to stand back while the scanner performed its duties. Then she had Ian and Brennan cut the two shirts Shalimar was wearing off and finish getting the supplies ready while Mira reviewed the findings. Brennan was glad to be given a task even if it was only for a moment. It was a moment that gave him something to do besides think and feel guilty.

* * *

Lexa helped Jesse into the house, with some aid from Beau - who only had use of his one arm currently, where she sat him on the couch and held him for a moment. "Lexa?" Jesse managed to say. He had felt like his mind had gone though the washing machine on spin cycle, twice. He had moments of clarity on the ride home. He remembered looking up at one point when Lexa was talking to him from the front of the car, but it felt like she was a football field away. He remembered seeing… Angel? He was pretty sure that was her name. It had been a few years, and he remembered Beau the large feral male who was her partner. He knew something really bad had happened during the escape, but he couldn't remember what. 

"Jesse, you're going to be alright. Listen, I'm gonna get you cleaned up and make sure that nothing else is broken, okay?" Lexa said holding his chin softly in her hand.

Jesse looked into her hazel eyes and almost wept. He had almost given up. Now it hit him full force why he hadn't given up even when he felt like he was at his end. His hand slowly crept up to her face. It felt like he had lead weights attached to every part of his body. He finally brought it up and traced her cheek bones and felt a thrill as she closed her eyes and leaned into him. This was the side of Lexa that she didn't let other people see, the side that was just for him. He brought his lips to hers with a soft lingering kiss. Their lips touched, and he felt like he was in heaven. The pain in his ribs as she leaned on him caused him to wince and brought him back to the truth, but even that couldn't stop the feeling of happiness that welled up inside of him.

Lexa pulled away when she noticed his wince in pain and cursed herself for not being more careful. She pulled back and looked into his bright blue eyes that seemed to have less of a hazy appearance now. "I've gotta get you cleaned up." she said with a soft smile and quickly jumped up to grab the supplies in the bathroom and returned to his side in short moments.

Jesse flinched as she cleaned his wounds, but remained quiet otherwise. He felt the weight of the past few months crashing down on him, drowning him in exhaustion. The only thing keeping him conscious was the fact that Lexa had been cleaning his wounds with antiseptic, and it stung just enough that it made it difficult to doze off. It felt like she took forever to get his face and arms done alone. He didn't want to think about the rest of his body.

"Lex," he said hating the raspy tone to his voice, "Can I just get some sleep?"

She looked up almost as she would with a petulant child and smiled. "Yeah, let's get you to bed, and I can get the rest of you finished there."

He shot her a look of recrimination but relented. She helped him upstairs to a bedroom where she stripped off his worn and filthy shirt and pants, frowning at the marks and bruises on his body. He had multiple gashes on his face and arms, but his body seemed to be a black and blue canvas. She began to regret not beating the guards worse… hell she should have just killed them, came the unbidden thought from the back of her mind. No time for regrets now, she sighed as she cleaned up the remainder of the cuts quickly and laid him in the bed.

For a moment Jesse thought Lexa would leave him, but she had only gotten up to turn on a small lamp and turn out the overhead light before returning to his side. She sat next to him on the bed, her posture seemed slightly stiff.

Running a hand through his hair she whispered softly, "Sleep, Jess."

"What happened? Is everyone okay? I feel like I missed something big." Jesse said, trying to figure out what the commotion was about when he was brought into the house.

Lexa took a deep breath before answering him. "Jess, why don't you just get some sleep? We can talk about it when you wake up. Everything will be okay."

He wanted to argue, but couldn't find the strength and felt himself drift off into the first true sleep he'd had in months.

Lexa watched as he finally let sleep claim him. She was still perched on the side of the bed waiting to make sure he was truly asleep before she finally put her head in her hands and cried.

* * *

Angel had patched Beau's arm up and borrowed a kit from the doctor to sew his wound shut. Beau had denied the need for surgery to repair any damage, grimacing as he flexed his arm to prove that nothing was truly destroyed. Angel just smiled indulgently and set about cleaning the wound and injecting the numbing agent so she could do the stitches. Angel had several wounds, but all were minor in nature. A split lip and a few bruises were the least of anyone's concerns in her book. After finishing with Beau she poked her head into the med lab and noticed Brennan standing vigil over Shalimar's form as the doctor and Ian worked to repair the damage. She couldn't help but notice the amount of blood on the table and in the suction unit by Shalimar's unconscious form. Slowly coming around to Brennan's side, she took his arm and watched his attention shift to her. 

"How is everyone else?" he asked softly. He felt guilty for not helping Jesse and Beau, but his heart had overpowered everything else.

"Lexa's looking after Jesse. About an hour ago she took him to one of the bedrooms. He was looking better. I think he should be okay given a few days of rest. Beau is good. His arm will be sore for a few weeks, but he has had worse injuries so I'm not too concerned." she said giving him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes as they flicked down at Shalimar. Looking back up at him she decided to try and get him patched up as well and tugged on his arm in an attempt to get him to follow her out of the room.

"No," Brennan said simply cutting her off before she could even ask. "I'm not leaving her side. Not now."

"Brennan, she's under heavy sedation and we are going to be at least another hour closing her up." Ian's voice was now the one to break the heated glare between the feral and elemental. "Go with Angel and get patched up. You won't do Shalimar any good if you get sick or get an infection from some of those deeper cuts."

Brennan looked as if he was about to protest, but gave in at the two insistent looks he received and the doctor's nod of affirmation. Quietly he allowed Angel to lead him out of the room to the living area where she had set up a makeshift first aid area on the coffee table. He sat facing the lab as if waiting to spring back in at a moments notice.

"Brennan... she never gave up hope." Angel said as she began to clean several of the cuts on his upper arms and pulled his shirt up to inspect him for any other injuries.

He sighed as he helped her pull his shirt off and wrinkled his nose as he realized how disgusting it truly was. Thinking for a moment about what Angel had said he finally answered, "I didn't either. She was what kept me going everyday." He turned to look at Angel with a small smile of gratitude. "When we have time, you'll have to tell us how you and Beau got hooked up with Shal and Lex."

Angel let out a small laugh. "It's actually pretty interesting, but you're right… much too long to tell you now."

Beau had returned from transferring gear between vehicles and noticed Brennan seated on the couch with Angel tending to his wounds. He approached and took Brennan's hand who tried not to wince as Beau's strong grasp squeezed his recently set finger that was still quite swollen. "It's good to see you again, Brennan."

"You too, Beau… really good to see you" Brennan said trying not to let on just how much his hand had started to throb.

"Here, put this on your finger," Angel said handing him an ice pack over his shoulder. "It should help to numb it a little and it might help to reduce the swelling."

"Thanks," Brennan said wrapping it around the offending digit. "They broke it a day or so ago. I tried to set it, but I'm not sure how well I did."

Angel grabbed it and gently probed the finger by manipulating the skin and tendons to have a better feel of the bone lying beneath.

"Ouch, damn!" Brennan let out as she hit a particularly sensitive spot and yanked his hand back. Not noticing Angel's hard grip on the end of his finger, he pulled and caused the one bone that was slightly out of alignment to realign relieving some of the pain.

Patting him on the shoulder, Angel let out a wide grin "You still need an X-Ray and a splint, but I think that it should heal okay."

Brennan could only scowl as Beau and Angel smiled at each other. "She has done that trick to me more then once" Beau said to empathize. "Now I understand why she gets such a kick out of it…if my expression is anything like yours."

Just then Ian and the doctor came out of the kitchen and all three turned their attention to the unreadable expressions on their faces.

* * *

_I'm soooooo evil sometimes! I'm sorry, I had to do it this way, though. It's a total set up for the next chapter. I should have that posted in a few days! I hope you liked the chapter._


	18. Push & Pull

_**New Note:** I just recently got around to fixing some of my mistakes and then FFN decides they are going to make it difficult for me to upload anything. AAAARRRRRGGGGGG! _

_So I have made some corrections and changes to this chapter, thanks so much to Sara, Stephanie and Rachel. Where would I be without you guys?_

_**Old Author's note:**_

_Okay... I really need to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed in the past few days. Welcome all the newcomers and can I say how excited I am to be on people's favorite and alert lists! WOW! My head's all big :D_

**Kai0707 & Tiana-P**_ -_ _Thanks so much for all the support throughout. You both were the first to review and keep me wanting to post here. Thanks a million you guys._

**Griffbear** - _Thanks, welcome and I'm sorry, but it was like I said, there really hasn't been a good cliffie... I'm trying to answer those questions for you. It's up to my muse how long this is going to be, and she still hasn't told me what she wants to do for the ending!_

**LizzieH1313 **- _Thanks, welcome and yes I am! Thanks for commenting on the Lexa scene. I did that because I really needed a way to hit home how much Lexa has really changed since she started with the team. She can still be the same bad-ass as ever as you see by a lot of her comments and actions, but she has finally found a home and a family. It changes a person so much._

**Slshadowfox** - _I'm trying not to kill her. To be totally honest in my original draft everyone got out with just some bumps and bruises. I think Beau still had the gunshot. However when I looked at my finished work I scared myself - 'Hey, I don't remember shooting Shal!'_

**yegbb 10** - _Thank you and welcome. I hope you keep reading!_

**Stormchilde** -_ I lost my copy of the book, but I damn near had the entire thing memorized. So I bought a huge book of Robert Frost poetry as a consellation prize. :D I have really tried to make this a story that includes everyone in some way. I guess my ramblings are close to thoughts Brennan would have. I work around enough guys I kinda used some of them to help me out. I love reviews when and however! I was originally going to end on chapter 20, but I really don't think that's going to happen!_

_Just a warning. I am now caught up with the story I have so far. It will take me a little while to get chapter 19 out. I have started it, and I'm trying to make sure it flows right. I have also been working inhuman hours so I have to wait until I have a chance to collect my thoughts and type. I would love to be able to spend more time writing, but I have to pay the bills, or no electric or computer :(_

_I'd like to thank Nikka Costa for the Chapter title. A very good song by this artist._

_Okay Medical Terminology 101 - _

_Supine: means on ones back._

Blood Typing is done for transfusions: A, B, O. or AB. O is considered a universal donor and AB is considered a universal recipient.

_I pulled out my anatomy books to make sure that what I have written is possible. I have seen it, so I know it happens. I tried to keep the gore down to a minimum. _

_Now that I have just wrote this huge AN that has you all going 'Would you just get to the story already!' ... Here ya go!_

* * *

_**18... Push and Pull... 18**_

_Just then Mira came out of the kitchen followed by Ian with unreadable expressions on their faces, Angel, Beau and Brennan stopped and looked up._

The doctor had closed up Shalimar and felt fairly confident in her work. Shalimar had been shot a little below her lung and had lacerated her spleen. She had been able to repair the damage, but Shalimar had lost a dangerous amount of blood, and not having any on hand she had only been able to give her IV fluids to keep her pressure up. It was still dangerously low. She had Shalimar's blood type and hoped that one of her teammates would be of the same type and willing to donate to save her. Thankfully she had brought half of her lab with her and what she didn't have Ian had in his supply. Ian had assured her that this group would do anything for one another. With a deep breath she looked at him and proceeded through the kitchen door.

When the two emerged from the door, Brennan's heart caught in his throat. Angel grabbed Beau's hand and clung tightly as they waited for the doctor to speak. The tension was thick and almost palpable in the room as Mira and Ian approached the three seated on the couches.

Brennan jumped to his feet, "How is she? What's going on?" he said. His tone was demanding, but his eyes were almost pleading for everything to be okay.

Mira looked up at him and took a deep breath, "She needs a transfusion. She lost a lot of blood, and her pressure is dangerously low."

She was met by stunned expressions but before she could continue Ian cut her off. "We have the kit to do the testing for blood types here. Hopefully one of you will match her blood type, and we can do the transfusion right away." Ian glanced at Mira and squeezed her hand. She let out a sigh of relief that he had come to her aid right then. She was exhausted from the surgery and worried that she needed to do this for Shalimar as quickly as possible.

"Let's get to it then," Brennan said rolling up his sleeve.

"The test is fairly simple. I just need a drop of blood and I can type you so you don't need to do that," she motioned to his rolled sleeve, "But we do need to do this quickly." Mira spun on heel and went back into the lab and grabbed her typing kit to get started and within five minutes they had samples from Angel, Beau, and Brennan.

Mira looked to Ian with a frown marring her features. "They aren't matches," she said disheartened.

A scowl masked Brennan's face, and a mix of pain and anger seemed to radiate off of him in waves.

"Let me get Lexa and Jesse." Angel said, jumping to her feet and sprinting up to the room they were staying in. Angel all but burst through the door causing Lexa to look up from where she was seated by a sleeping Jesse, who hadn't even budged at the door banging open.

"What the…? Angel what's wrong?" Lexa's annoyance quickly morphed into concern seeing the look on the blond's face. "What happened? Is it, Shal?"

"She needs blood… like now." Angel started, trying to cram as much info into as few words as possible. "C'mon," she said, just grabbing Lexa's hand and dragging her from the room.

Lexa was about to fight when it hit her, what had been said, and ran down the steps to follow Angel. She was greeted by Brennan and Beau with very anxious expressions on their faces. Mira and Ian stood off to the side wearing looks of hope. Lexa would have smiled at the scene before her in another time and another place, but not now.

"Lexa, give me your finger." Ian said grabbing her hand as she walked toward the waiting group. "We have to hurry. Shal's pressure isn't very stable and we have to get her more blood soon." He deftly pricked Lexa's finger, ignoring her flinch and murmured 'ow' and swabbed off the blood onto a test strip. Impatience crossed his features at the minute the results took to make themselves known. Ian looked up at Mira as the results were issued and a small smile crossed both faces.

"You're a universal donor," Mira said with elation in her eyes as she looked at the results handed to her.

"Yeah, you could have just asked before you stabbed me." Lexa's attitude showed through for a moment and then buried itself once again as she started walking toward the lab, "Let's get this over with. Can someone sit with Jesse while I'm gone?" she asked realizing that she had left him alone upstairs and wouldn't be back as quickly as she had thought initially.

Brennan was almost at her side and ready to plow through the lab door. She knew that he needed to be with Shalimar, and she looked back to Angel and Beau who glanced between each other before Beau ascended the stairs.

In the lab, Shalimar lay supine on the table. She had been stripped down so that Mira could work on her, and now was covered in a paper gown that covered her from neck to knee leaving only her head, arms and legs exposed. Lexa took note that Shalimar was breathing softly, eyelids flickering, and looked so pale. Lexa observed Brennan who stood in the doorway. His initial run to be at Shalimar's side had been halted by the scene in front of him. Lexa could almost hear him cursing himself for her injuries.

"Lexa, you can lie down over here on the counter," Mira said, breaking through Lexa's thoughts. "We need to get this done soon." The doctor had taken full authority in her voice as she prepared her instruments to do the transfusion.

Once Lexa got comfortable, she looked over and saw Brennan's battered face staring down at Shalimar as he slowly reached for her limp hand. She felt tears well up at his actions. She tried not to invade on this moment but couldn't turn her eyes away. He had Shalimar's hand in his own as he stroked it and brought it to his lips for a soft kiss, then leaned down toward her head and whispered words so softly that they were inaudible to everyone else in the room. A sharp stab in Lexa's arm brought her back to the situation at hand as her eyes met Mira's and the doctor smiled saying that this wouldn't take long.

It was late at night when the transfusion was over, and Ian helped Lexa back into the living room to lie on the couch as Angel grabbed her some juice and fruit from the kitchen. As soon as her strength returned, Lexa opted to go back with Jesse and try and catch some much needed rest there.

* * *

Brennan sat by Shalimar as Mira reassessed her vitals and wounds. Shalimar's color was a little better but she still wasn't awake. He watched Mira with a wary but curious eye. This doctor he knew nothing about was trying her best to save Shalimar. Thank you didn't seem like enough. He had said it several times but wasn't sure that he voiced his gratefulness properly. His mind felt like it was in a stupor or haze. The last time he'd slept was well over twenty four hours ago. Between that and the general fatigue he began to feel off. 

Mira glanced over at Brennan and gave him a look that was too serious to be considered a good sign. "Her pressure is up, which is good, but she is far from out of the woods yet. The sedation should have worn off by now, but she did take a few hard blows to the head from what Angel has told me. This will be a watch and wait game for now. You should go and get changed. Take a shower and get cleaned up. I'll sit with her until you get back."

Brennan looked up numbly and tried to focus on what Mira had said to him. For a moment he wanted to argue, but realized that a shower and some clean clothes would help to shake off the daze he was feeling. He nodded and walked from the room. Ian pointed him to the guest bathroom, and Angel gave him a change of clothes.

Under the pounding of the hot water, Brennan finally felt his emotions crack. He had never been big on crying… it didn't solve anything so he had never understood the point. Now he was glad to have the hot spray of water sluicing down over him to cover the tears that ran from his eyes. He had really begun to give up any hope that he and Jesse would be found. Then when they were, he didn't get the joyful reunion that he had visions of. It had turned into a warped nightmare where Shalimar was fighting for her life. Somehow he never imagined that she would be on that table. Jesse… maybe. Lexa… no so much. Him… almost definitely. Yet fate had dealt them another hard to play hand. The tears continued to cascade down his face as he tried to wash himself, minding the wounds and sore spots along his limbs and torso.

He was brought back to a shower that he and Shalimar had shared before he was captured. He had been working on one of the junked cars they had found, trying to get it running, and then worked out at the makeshift gym they'd created at the safe-house. Shalimar looked at him as he finished his workout and wouldn't even come within eight feet of him stating he stunk too badly. She had snuck in the bathroom and was grabbing him from behind before he knew she was even in the same room with him. He had almost slipped and fallen, but joy at who had surprised him wiped away any anger he'd almost immediately felt. They had teased each other to a fevered pitch, and he'd almost slipped again in the shower as she wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed her back into the steam heated tiles.

The memory swamped him, and he forced himself to focus before dwelling on it too much. He finally turned off the shower and dried himself methodically. It felt so good to be clean that he allowed himself to bask in the moment before turning toward the bathroom mirror and wiped it free of the steam. He stared at the mirror for a long moment trying to recognize the person reflected back. His face was covered in dark wiry hair and looked almost gaunt. He really did need to eat something soon, he realized. He sighed and took a razor from the cabinet and began to clean his face of the hair. When he was finally finished, he put on the clothes that Angel had given him and made his way back to the lab. He stopped in the kitchen to grab a sandwich that Ian had made earlier and a bottle of water, taking it to the lab to eat while sitting with Shalimar.

* * *

Mira looked up through tired eyes and saw Brennan walking back in. "I'm not sure how you are still on your feet, but if you're okay, I'm going to go get some rest. If you need me for anything or she changes in any way, come and get me." Mira's voice belayed the exhaustion she felt. 

"Okay," Brennan said as he sat in the chair next to Shalimar's head and looked up to Mira who was looking at him expectantly, "When will she come out of this?"

"I don't know but I'll do some more tests in the morning. There is really nothing else we can do for now. Will you be alright?"

"Yeah. I'll get you if anything changes," Brennan said with a nod as he watched Mira walk out the door and turned his head back to Shalimar and stroked her hair. "Shal, if you can hear me…please wake up…I…I…Damn it! I promise to tell you if you just open your eyes and look at me." When nothing happened, he picked up his sandwich and bit into it angrily. When that was done, he sat next to her speaking occasionally until his head joined hers on the pillow and he fell into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Jesse felt like he was fighting through a haze to wake up. His mouth tasted like someone had shoved cotton balls in it and his eyes were arguing against logic of opening. So he allowed himself to be content for a moment with the warmth and softness that surrounded him, and the pleasant smell of Lexa's perfume permeating his senses. 

When that thought actually filtered through his eyes shot open and he looked to his left where he felt a depression in the bed next to him. He blinked once and then one more time to see if this was real. The room wasn't completely bright, but by the look of the sky it was just before dawn, and that was all the light he needed to see Lexa's eyes staring into his.

"Hey, you decided to wake up." Her voice was calm and sounded happy. She was laying on her right side next to him with her hand clasped around his. She shared none of the sleepy haze that he knew had to be present on his face. "Jess, you ok?" she asked almost tentatively.

He did finally notice an exhausted look to her features and wondered if she had slept at all. Jesse opened his mouth to answer and realized that was a feat more challenging then he remembered. He closed his mouth and swallowed hard and then tried again "Lex?" His voice was hoarse and scratchy, but he needed to know this wasn't a dream or a psionic induced nightmare. "Are you real?"

Lexa laughed. It felt good. She had been holding her breath and feeling so stressed all day that she couldn't help it. As the laughter died from her voice, she finally answered. "Yes, Jesse. I'm here and so are you. You're safe now." She continued to smile, finally seeing clarity and emotion flicker through his eyes, as opposed to the glassy and muddled appearance they'd had just a few short hours ago. Lexa reached over to the end table and grabbed a glass of water, handing it to Jesse watching him drain the glass and sighing in the minor relief of his parched throat. "What do you remember?"

Jesse racked his brain trying to remember what had happened and how he had gotten lucky enough to wind up in a soft bed with an amazing woman. Things slowly started to piece themselves together after a moment. "I was with the psionic… I remember seeing Shal… and Angel?"

"That's right."

"I saw Shalimar get hit hard by a cough big guy… She beat him, though? She and Angel released me?"

"That's the short version. Are you okay? Do you need anything else? I can get you some food." Lexa had wanted to tell him about Shalimar, but suddenly felt that she didn't want to destroy the peace that had overcome Jesse's features.

"No. I'm good for right now." Jesse sunk his head back on the pillows and thought about his jumbled memories. The psionic had messed him up even more then he wanted to admit, but he was determined to make some sense of what he remembered. As the visions cascaded past his closed eyes he remembered Lexa trying to cut an opening in a metal gate that he was too weak to phase them through. He had looked up when he heard Brennan scream Shalimar's name as she fell to the floor. His eyes snapped open and he jerked his head to Lexa's. "What happened to Shal and Bren?"

* * *

_Okay, see I was nice. No real cliff-hanger this time! Thanks so much for reading. Let me know what you think, and please be patient I promise to get the next chapter up asap!_


	19. Waiting in the Wings

**_New Authors Note:_**

_Okay so I got this back from Sara a while ago, and just haven't had the time to update it. I've made a few subtile changes, most of which should have been blaring mistakes that I should have picked up on originally. See why a beta is your best friend! _

_Anyway, not much has changed just some dialogue and a few little nuances here and there. Hope it reads better! Oh yeah, I retitled it the original title I was going to use. I think it is a bite off the an Angel episode (no pun intended), but I hated that ep anyway. I just thought of it and realized that it fit pretty well. So no infringement meant to Joss or that crew either._

**_Old Authors Note_**

_I need to extend some mad thanks to all of those who have taken the time to review. _

_Thanks especially to my team of helpers: **Rachel, Stephanie and Sara**. You guys deserve cakes and cookies, but my baking skills aren't that good so please accept my best gratitude!_

_**Slshadowfox** - Well it wasn't a big cliffie. At least you know that Jesse was awake._

_**Griffbear** - I am hellbent on finishing this story. I am trying to do a few at the same time so I"m trying my best to alternate. You do have my word that I will finish this story though._

_**colonelsarahrabb** - I'm glad that you like it so far. I hope it keeps meeting your expectations. I'm sorry that FFN is being mean. PM me if you need me to email when the next chap is done._

_**thedawn** - Thanks and glad you've enjoyed it._

_As always - I don't own it or much of anything else._

Oh and btw, I love reviews. Even the little ones that say 'good job' or 'update soon', it lets me know that you are reading and still want me to continue!

* * *

**19 Waiting in the Wings 19**

Angel and Beau woke at dawn and lay in bed watching the sun rising.

"Do you think she will be okay?" Angel asked Beau as she reclined her head on his chest taking comfort in his strength.

"She's strong. I don't know how long it is going to take, but she wouldn't willingly leave her team behind."

"What if she doesn't have a choice…? She lost a lot of blood and was hurt so badly."

"Remember what they told us in training… 'What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve'."

"Thanks for the pep talk, Beau." Angel frowned. "Remind me not to sign you up as an inspirational speaker."

Beau's deep rumbling laugh shook her head. He pulled her closer to him and held her in silence for a while.

"What are we going to do?" she asked tentatively breaking the silence that ensconced them.

"About what?" Beau said cocking his head to look at her.

Angel raised herself on one elbow to look into his face. "Whether we're staying or leaving. I know you have given it a lot of thought already."

"I figured we could stay for a while… If they will have us, at least until they heal." He said reflectively, "They still haven't decided what they are going to do. If they go their separate ways then we can always continue with Adam's mission on our own. Who knows, maybe one or two of them would be interested in continuing as well."

"Do you really think that they are going to give up on Adam's plan?" Angel asked. She suddenly wondered if she would want to go back to fighting for everything if she had been in their situation.

"That is their decision to make."

"True," Angel agreed. "But even if they don't want to continue on we can always start a new team and base it out of Haven if Adam is alright with it."

"I've considered that option too." Beau said with a small twitch to his lips. "Don't worry, Angel. It will all work out."

"I hope Shal will be okay," Angel tucked herself in closer to Beau and trying for a few more minutes to ignore the world.

* * *

Lexa looked into Jesse's face after his realization of what had happened during the escape. He looked scared but also a little pissed off. His expression pleaded with her to say he had dreamed the entire thing and everyone was currently safe and comfortably ensconced in beds like they were. 

Lexa had gone downstairs last night for a drink and because she couldn't sleep, she had walked into the lab and found Brennan with his head resting next to Shalimar's on the pillow. The soft swishing noise of the door woke Brennan, and he looked up as Lexa entered.

Brennan had cleaned himself up while Lexa had been upstairs with Jesse, but the sadness marring his face was still a striking feature. His expression told her more then his words could ever… Nothing had changed, and Shalimar was still unconscious.

Lexa made sure he had eaten and didn't need anything before giving up and accepting that he wasn't in the mood to talk. She had retreated briefly after their short conversation and returned to the room with Jesse. If anything had changed no one had let her know yet, and she was pretty sure that she wouldn't be kept in the dark.

At Lexa's despondent look, Jesse was almost positive he had his answer. "She was shot," his voice remarked distantly. His eyes turned up to hers for a moment with hesitant hope, "She's alive, right?"

"Yeah, she's in the infirmary now." Lexa paused, trying to find the right words.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"Jess, I'm not sure." The look of confusion and longing in her lover's eyes caused her mouth to open and the words to just tumble out despite of the pain she wanted to spare him. "She was shot when we were rescuing you guys, she lost a lot of blood and we had to transfuse her."

"Well that's good, right?" Jesse was still desperately searching his mind for some memory of the tragic events. He knew by Lexa's expression that she was holding something back and wanted to know what else she was missing. "Lexa, what aren't you telling me?" Shalimar was like a sister and a best friend rolled into one, and if he could do anything for her he would.

Lexa silently cursed herself for trying to draw out this talk with irrational dreams that Shalimar would come bursting through the door to check on Jesse at any moment and everything would be fine. She hated being the bearer of bad news all the time. She sucked in a deep breath and ripped the bandage off the wound completely. "Jess, she's unconscious. She's in a coma because of blood loss and a really bad hit to the head that the doctor wanted to reevaluate this morning."

Jesse was only able to stare with a pained expression while his mind processed the ramifications of what had happened. "I need to see her."

* * *

Brennan sat in the infirmary with Shalimar. There were no windows but the clock read that it was 6:08; he could only assume that it was in the morning even though the night felt extremely long. He had only dozed briefly during the night but felt surprisingly alert. He had thanked Lexa again when she had come in to see if there was any change in Shalimar's condition. The look on her face said that she was disappointed, and would have preferred to see Shalimar awake rather then the flimsy thank you. 

The door opened and Mira walked through bringing Brennan out of his thoughts. "I guess she hasn't had any changes since last night?" she asked quietly as she began to recheck Shalimar's vital signs.

Brennan just looked up; his expression was all the confirmation she needed. His vision swung back to Shalimar's sleeping form as if daring her to make a liar out of him. He frowned as his irrational hopes were dashed yet again.

"Brennan, you need to give her some time. I'm going to run some more scans this morning. Yesterday all the other damage needed immediate attending to, but it is my top priority today." She pulled the scanner over and started to adjust the settings. "I'm going to get a good image of her head today and see if there is any intracranial hemorrhaging. We can proceed those results."

"Okay," his voice was flat and expressionless. "What else is there to do?"

"Nothing right now. Could you go check on the others? I need to check out Jesse once I've completed and looked over Shalimar's scans. Make sure their awake and bring them down." She said as she continued to set the computer for the scans and focused her attention on Shalimar.

Brennan frowned at the thought of leaving Shalimar's side, but the inaction was starting to irritate him. He gave Shalimar a lingering kiss on the corner of her lips. "Shal, I know you can hear me. You need to come out of this. I'm not sure what we'll do without you… what I'll do without you," he whispered softly in her ear and stood to leave. He paused and watched her eyelids flicker as if in a deep dream and felt his heart skip a beat.

Mira caught his expression. "Brennan, she's still in a phase similar to a REM cycle." Her voice had a sad tone to it.

"But that's the first time I've seen her do that. I could have sworn she was going to open them." He tried to find something to latch onto. "Shal, can you hear me? Wake up! You need to wake up!" The only answer was another soft flicker of her eyelids as she continued to remain nearly motionless. He was torn between shaking Shalimar in an attempt to wake her and the knowledge that he would rip open her wounds by the action. His insides felt like they were being ripped apart. He just wanted her to be okay.

"Bren, go get the others. I promise to yell for you if anything happens." Mira said softly but firmly, pleading with the younger man to take a break for his own sanity.

He looked up and saw the honesty in her expression. "Just call. I'll be right back." With that, he walked out of the room, head hung low.

Mira looked down at Shalimar. "You have a lot to come back to. You have friends that love you and a life that is ready to begin. I know you can hear me, Shalimar. Let's see what I can do to help you." Mira began the scans and anxiously looked over the results.

* * *

Lexa watched as Jesse struggled to force his body into motion faster then it could comply. "Jess, take it easy. You're going to hurt yourself!" 

"Lex, she got shot because of me." His tone was condemning. "I should have been doing more then lying there useless!"

"There was nothing you could do! You were injured and you said it yourself… you barely remember what happened."

"I remember enough to know that I should have been doing more." His tone was quiet, almost defeated. "She would have been there to save me."

"Jess… She was." Lexa's voice had a slight edge of impatience. She felt enough guilt about Shalimar's condition.

A sharp rapping on the door stopped the conversation from escalating any further.

"Lexa? Jesse?" Brennan's voice called.

"Brennan." Jesse's tone became hopeful hearing the other man's voice.

Brennan cracked open the door and looked in. He made an honest effort to look and be happy to see Jesse awake and looking well. "You're looking better." It was the closest to a happy greeting he could give at the moment.

"You're looking good too. You finally lost the gruff," Jesse replied remembering the last time they had seen each other Brennan's face had been covered with thick dark hair. The inane chatter helped him to focus on avoiding any bad news.

Lexa noticed the blue elephant sitting in the room that both men were trying insanely hard to avoid and couldn't take it any more then a few moments. "She's not awake, is she?"

Brennan's eyes dropped to the ground and the muscles in his jaw clenched. Lexa took his hand and pulled him to the side of the bed to sit between herself and Jesse. "She moved a little right before I came up. I thought that was it… That she was going to wake up," his voice was soft and sullen. "When she didn't Mira said that it's just common reaction of the body to subconscious thoughts and dreams. She's doing some scans now to see if Shal has any bleeding in her brain."

"I'm shocked she even got you to leave," Lexa teased gently.

"I'm tired of feeling useless. I keep waiting and nothing is happening." Brennan admitted. "I was up with her most of the night and nothing's changed. I'm tired of feeling worthless and I'm going to go crazy if I do nothing but sit there and wait for her to wake up." The silent fear that she might not wake was left unsaid.

"Bren, she's been through a lot worse. She'll pull through," Jesse said as he tried to find the strength to encourage them all. "A few months before you came to join us she was thrown off a seven story roof onto a car." Jesse remembered. "She just about drove Adam and me crazy when she woke up. She was hell bent on finding the jerk who threw her off the roof. She had a cast on one leg, one arm and three broken ribs." He felt a small smirk emerge as he remembered the choice words she had thrown at him and Adam when they wouldn't let her out of Sanctuary.

"She told me about that." Brennan felt a smile tug at his lips. "She said that she was out for almost two days then."

"She's tough, Bren," Lexa said slightly fortified by the conversation. "She's not going to let this beat her."

"Hey, are you guys awake?" Angel's voice carried through the door.

"C'mon in," Jesse said and watched the door open as Angel and Beau appeared. "It looks like we're all up early."

"Military, never can sleep past six." Beau said as he took in the scene before him. "It's good to see you awake, Jesse." He extended his hand to shake Jesse's.

"Yeah, you were definitely out of it last night." Angel said giving him a gentle hug after Beau had pulled away.

"It's good to be awake and out of that hell hole. Thank you." The younger man's expression was pure gratitude toward the two ferals. He noticed how Beau by himself made the room look small, so with five of them crammed into the cramped bedroom, it was becoming almost claustrophobic.

Lexa noticed his expression and stood up. "Well, I say we go have some breakfast."

Brennan let out a small laugh. "I almost forgot the reason I came up. Mira wanted to check you out this morning." He said, motioning to Jesse.

Jesse's face took on a frown before nodding in agreement. The idea of being poked and prodded seemed to lack any appeal.

"So let's all get downstairs then, Jesse can get checked out and we can get some grub." Brennan stood and followed Beau and Angel out of the room with Jesse and Lexa in tow.

When they arrived at the lab, Mira looked up into the expectant faces. She felt bad she didn't have better information, but what she had wasn't terrible at least.

"How is she?" Brennan walked over and stroked Shalimar's hair off of her forehead.

"Her scans show that she did have a small hemorrhage in her temporal lobe, but it has stopped and started to heal itself." Mira glanced up at the quizzical and questioning expressions. "She had some pressure on her brain, but it appears to be healing. I'm not sure how long she will be out, but thankfully her feral DNA has aided her recovery." the soft smiles and hopeful looks reminded her why she loved practicing medicine. She glanced over to Jesse. "You guys go start breakfast. I'm going to give Jesse an exam and make sure that nothing else is wrong. From what I've seen though, Angel and Lexa have done a fine job."

Lexa gave Jesse a soft kiss as the others filed out of the room then followed.

"Do you want me to stay?" Brennan asked as he stroked Shalimar's hair and ran his hand down her cheek.

Jesse looked at the pain lining Brennan's face and knew he felt similar. He also knew that keeping Brennan occupied would cut down on the frustration that he had to be feeling, so he tried to act nonchalant in hopes that Brennan would preoccupy himself, if only for a little bit. "Nah, go get breakfast started. I shouldn't be too long."

Brennan looked to Mira who only nodded and motioned for him to go. He gave one more longing look at Shalimar's face then turned and left.

* * *

Ian was in the kitchen when the group arrived. He had pulled out a plethora of breakfast food and looked up expectantly as they filed in. "What would you guys like for breakfast?" He was happy for the small favor of being able to do something else for the team. His job had been relegated to watching and waiting when they had returned from the mission. He had aided Mira with Shalimar, but now all of the _important _work to be done was complete. Stopping in the lab when he had woken up had shown him a frustrated Mira and a still unconscious Shalimar. After a brief talk with Mira, he'd decided his best course of action was to make some breakfast for his guests. It was busy work, but he hated feeling futile. 

Breakfast was made and devoured with a casual air. Jesse joined them halfway through stating he had to let a cracked rib, wrist sprain and twisted ankle heal but was otherwise in decent form. He joined Lexa at the table and speared some pancakes off of her plate while waiting for his. Brennan watched the display and smiled. He quickly finished off his coffee and omelet then returned to the lab.

"You can go have some breakfast if you'd like," he said as he entered and saw Mira typing at the terminal.

She looked up for a moment. "You don't mind sitting with her?"

"Never," he said, glad that his voice held steady.

"Okay. I want to finish reading these results and see if there's anything I missed, but I could really use some coffee." Mira stood and walked to the door. As she passed Brennan, she put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. "We'll wake her up."

He could only smile and pray that she wasn't lying. He watched as she walked through the door leaving him alone with Shalimar once again.

"Jesse's going to be okay. You were here though, so you probably heard all of that before we even knew. God, Shal, I'm so glad you came for us. I wasn't sure how much longer we were going to be able to hang on." His voice cracked slightly. He held her hand in both of his as it rested on her stomach. "You just need to wake up. We'll do anything you want. We can be anything you want to be. I just need you in my life." The tears silently streamed down his face. His pretense of strength slowly fell away. "I've never known anyone like you. I feel so stupid for all the times that I avoided talking about our relationship. I was happy to have you. I guess I'm just a coward for not wanting to voice my desire for a deeper commitment with you. I… I lo…" His voice faltered as Shalimar took a deep gasping breath and clenched his hand under hers. "MIRA!"

* * *

_I hope this read better then the first time around, and if you are just reading this, I'm glad you missed all of my crappy mistakes the first time!_


	20. Choices of the Heart

_Just a warning... I did my best to clean this up on my own, but I was really impatient to get this out, so when my beta's get back to me I will probably be able to clean up my mistakes better. I apologize up front for them, their all my fault!_

_**Okay, here's the deal, you have hung in this far, don't forward to the end to mess up the ending for yourself! **I worked pretty hard on making this the best scene I could with what my brain gave me. I hope you like it. _

_**kai0707** - Sorry, what can I say, I had to do it. I was hoping to capture the emotions well and I'm glad to know you think I did. I wanted a nice little interlude for all of the characters._

_**Mxfan214** - I'm really glad you have liked it so far. Thanks for reviewing! I hope you enjoy the rest. Feel free to tell me I suck at any time!_

_**Stormchilde** - Here I am, and I was impatient so I hope I don't have too many glaring mistakes!_

_**sbfangal** - I know you have been here the whole time and I love you for it! Again I'm sorry I did it that way. I hope that this will be okay for you!_

_**Bekki-Webster** - Thanks so much for the nice words. I'm glad that I'm writing a good story and you have enjoyed it. Thanks for not yelling at me :)_

_**Shal35** - I will have to check out your story. Sorry I haven't already. Time hasn't been my friend lately. I will definitely leave you a review when I see it! Thank you so much for reviewing and the nice words. I promise that I will finish this story, it might just take me a little time._

_And to the really nice person that said they never leave reviews, but somehow I lost their PM, I just wanted to say thank you so much for taking the time to let me know. It is one of the best things a writer can hear!_

_If your name is missing that's because you haven't said anything to me, LOL! Anyway I really hope you like this chapter. I had to make some gut wrenching decisions to do it._

_Vague disclaimer - I don't own anything, really, honestly and truly!_

* * *

**20 Choices of the Heart 20**

_She felt like she was wading in a mixture of fog and pea soup. Nothing was clear or concrete around her. She could have been walking for days for all she knew. There was no light or darkness, just a never ending haze._

_Occasionally she heard voices in the distance, but when she tried to call out her voice felt throttled. The feral in her was becoming wired and upset. She took a deep breath and tried to focus._

_There it was again. That voice. It sounded like Brennan calling her name and telling her to wake up. She groaned in frustration. **Where the hell am I?** Her brain asked for what felt like the hundredth time. The question was getting old. She needed to do something._

_Focusing on the meditation skills that Adam taught her, she centered herself and tried to remember the last things to happen…_

_Lexa was sitting at the table with her at the safe house. They were talking about Jesse and Brennan. Then her mind shifted to Ian's house. They were preparing to infiltrate the prison holding Jesse and Brennan. Again, her mind jumped to a different scene. She was battling a huge man. She felt her head slammed against the wall and almost blacked-out. She saw Jesse. He was tied up and his mind being probed by a psionic. She remembered the feeling of killing the psionic. The animal inside her roared with victory. _

_Shalimar felt nauseous as she relived that scene. This was everything Adam had never wanted her to become, a murderer, and a cold blooded killer. He would be so disappointed in her now. Her mind rebelled against the thought, telling her that she had every right to kill the people that had hunted and tried to kill them. The Dominion had no pity or remorse for all they had taken from her. **But I'm supposed to be better then that, **the voice in her head sobbed._

_Shalimar tried to refocus her energy on remembering the past events. She remembered an electric moment where she saw Brennan for the first time in months. He looked haggard and worn but still ready to fight… There was a gunshot and she was looking into Brennan's mahogany eyes as he held her. She was in pain, but his presence and his love had overruled all other things. _

_Her body rapidly changed though. There was a searing heat tearing through her and she felt like she had been dumped in a bath of water either scalding or freezing The feeling came on so abruptly it flashed through her system and made it impossible to tell._

* * *

"Brennan what's wrong." Mira said racing into the room. 

"I don't know." Brennan said looking up with panic and confusion written across his face. "She grabbed my hand and took a deep breath. Then she started this…" he trailed off as his motioned to Shalimar's slightly convulsing body and slow gasping breaths. "She won't stop and her monitor went all wacky…" he looked up again as Mira began to look at the monitors and Shalimar's vitals. "DO SOMETHING!" he shouted at Mira.

"She's gone into V-Fib. Brennan, get back. Ian, I need you over here now!" Mira started barking orders. Shalimar was originally hooked up to a basic monitor, but had to be attached to the defibrillator quickly so they were able to register her heart rhythm and shock her. "Angel and Lexa start CPR."

The two women started after only a split second hesitation. Angel grabbed a bag-mask device to perform the breathing while Lexa gave a scared look before she pressed down on Shalimar's chest and grimaced when she heard a pop as a rib broke. Together they both started the cycle of compressions and ventilations, all the while telling Shalimar that she wasn't allowed to die.

Beau held onto Brennan and Jesse as they panicked, trying to figure out what to do to help. The larger man tried to calm them telling them that Mira needed Brennan to save his strength incase the defibrillator failed, and Jesse would only hurt himself further if he tried to aid in the CPR.

"Here's the defib. I'll set it up while you give the first round of drugs." Ian said rushing to Mira's side with the manual defibrillator. He set up the machine and began to verify the heart rhythm. "Angel and Lexa stop for a moment." Ian said as he and Mira evaluated the rhythm on the screen.

"Charging, everyone stand back!" Mira called before placing the paddles on Shalimar's chest and pressing the buttons causing the limp body to jolt slightly. "She's still in V-Fib, charging and everyone clear!"

* * *

_The pain that ran through Shalimar was excruciating. She wanted to wake up now. This had stopped being annoying, it was now painful and she hated it. A light appeared to her right side. Out of it walked a face she was positive she would never see again… Emma._

_"You did a good job on yourself, Shal." Emma said with a teasing smile._

_Shalimar looked down and for the first time noticed the blood pouring out of an open wound in her stomach and the multiple burns and abrasions on her body. "What happened?"_

_"You remember." Emma said_

_"That was real? We saved the guys?" Shalimar asked, watching Emma's nod. Shalimar tried to figure out what Emma was doing standing in front of her. Shalimar was upset that her old friend wasn't hugging her or showing the joy Shalimar felt at seeing the red head._

_Shalimar's eyes narrowed in suspicion, "What are you doing here? Who are you?"_

_"It's really me, Shal. I'd hug you, but I kinda can't." Emma's voice took on a softer, sadder note._

* * *

"Continue CPR." Mira called as she injected Epinephrine and Atropine into Shalimar's I.V. "Lexa, deeper compressions." 

Lexa blanched as she got a better purchase and pushed harder. She found strength in her anger ….Anger for making her care… Anger at Shalimar for getting hurt... Anger for even thinking about leaving her alone to deal with the aftermath.

"Okay, clear and let me analyze again." Mira called the CPR progression to a halt. "She's still in V-fib. Charging, everybody clear!"

* * *

_Shalimar looked into Emma's eyes and saw the truth behind the statement. "What's going on here?" her voice sounded hesitant, even to her own ears._

_"You need to make a decision. You can come with me or go back to the unknown." Emma stated, her voice flat, but a hint of sadness hid in her expression._

_"Am I dead?" Shalimar asked. She couldn't be. It was only a little blood, right?_

_"That's for you to find out. I'm not allowed to help you with your decision. I'm just here to enable your choice."_

_Shalimar felt her eyes well up with tears. She felt the warm and welcoming light behind Emma. Turning around Shalimar saw the gray shift to darkness behind her. "It's a choice of unknown or the abyss." Shalimar said looking again to Emma._

_"Shalimar, you need to choose…" Emma stopped for a moment and looked as if she debated about saying something. Her face cleared as she made her choice. "You know that I love you and never blamed you right?"_

_The pain welled up in Shalimar's eyes as she looked into the psionic's; she missed her friend for so long, and prayed to hear for forgiveness. Shalimar looked to Emma and decided to make her choice. "I love you too, Emma. You know me. So you should know my answer." Shalimar brought her hand up by Emma's cheek as she felt the tears cascading down her own._

_"Be well, Shal." Emma said as she stemmed the flow of tears from her own face. She watched as Shalimar turned quickly and headed into the dark. "You were the best friend I've ever had." she added softly as she slowly faded into the light._

_Shalimar walked determinedly into the darkness that felt like a vortex. The black closed around her and she felt like she couldn't breathe or move…_

* * *

"Nothing, Damn it! Get me the spare batteries." Mira yelled as the defibrillator flashed angrily at her with a dead battery signal. 

"Mira, they're dead." Ian said ripping into drawers looking for anything else that they could use.

"Let me." Brennan said walking up to Shalimar's form and grabbing Mira's hand from across the table.

Mira looked him hard in the eye for a moment and realized that he would kill himself before standing idly by and letting Shalimar die. She nodded in agreement. "Everyone clear!"

Brennan felt the energy charge between his hands. He concentrated hard on how much to use and the feeling of what energy level was between his hands. One glance told him that everyone had moved back and he applied his hands to Shalimar's chest and felt the electricity rip through her body.

Beep, beep, beep, beep…

Mira breathed out a sigh of relief and looked to Brennan with a smile on her face. "You did it!"

"Did what?" a raspy voice called from the table.

"Shal?!" the people in the room called in unison.

* * *

_Now tell me that you loved it and I did the right thing! I really hope I did. I was gonna keep you in suspense for one more chapter, but I couldn't. The death threats were getting serious. I mean really sending Monty Python's killer rabbit after me? How evil! I hope you liked the little segue with Emma. I thought it would be sweet. Maybe I'm just being stupid. _

_Please R&R! I promise naked Brennan and Shal in a future chapter!_


	21. Nine Lives

**_Updated comments: _**

_**I realized that when I was writing this that I didn't mention I had Michael Shanks (from Stargate SG-1) in mind for the character of Ian. So if your wondering that is who I loosely based Ian's character off of mostly for looks. Mira I kinda**_ _**pictured Nicole de Boer (from The Dead Zone.) So**_ _**if anyone is trying to get an idea of who I was thinking of, those are the people I had in mind.**_

**_I've finally gotten around to updating the chapters I hope they read better now. Sorry for the previous inconvenience!_**

* * *

**_Old Comments:_**

_Okay! I've been done with this chapter for over a week now and my beta's have been mad busy with the holidays so I haven't had this beta'd yet. So needless to say, all the mistakes are mine and mine alone. I did try to make a nice long chapter to make up for not getting this out sooner though. I just really wanted to get this out before Christmas and felt horrible that I didn't. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!_

_**Kai0707** - Sweetie you are so welcome! Email me, I actually had a story planned to write for you, but work got in the way. If you still want it I'll write it though!_

_**Shal35** - Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this one. There isn't as much action, but I tried to make up for that with some mush!_

_**sbfangal** - I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying. I have less OT work next month so I should be able to do some more writing. Yeah! Keep up the threats though. It keeps me motivated - LOL._

_**Griffbear** - I really wanted some way to tie Emma in, and that was my opening. It didn't feel right to resurrect her, but I figured it was a cool scene to do. I tried to make her more like Emma of S1 because Emma of S2 started to bother me, she became way too whiny._

_To everyone else who read the chapter - thank you. I hope you enjoyed it, and if you didn't... well we just won't go there._

_The chapter title was just something that popped into my mind, thinking about cat's and their nine lives. The original title was going to be something more like 3 down 6 to go, but I figured that it wouldn't make much sense._

_As I've said before I own nothing, so don't bother suing._

_Okay, I guess I'll let you read the story now..._

* * *

**_Chapter 21: Nine Lives_**

"I'm sure I'm fine! Can't I go?"

Mira smiled at Shalimar's attempts to be released from the scans and tests early. "Shalimar, you were in a comatose state for almost 36 hours. You need to humor me and let me make sure that you are alright."

"I promise not to overdo it," Shalimar pleaded.

"I heard all about the time you broke your foot, so I will have to say no. This is slightly more serious," Mira continued as she positioned the scanner to complete one of the last tests.

"Fine," Shalimar pouted, but held still so that the test didn't have to take any longer then necessary.

After another ten minutes of scanning and drawing two more vials of blood, Mira looked up at the impatient feral sitting on the bed looking at her with inquiring eyes. She had no doubt that if Shalimar was more able, she would be bouncing on the balls of her feet waiting for the word to leave. As it was now, she might need some aid just to make it to the living room.

The past few hours had been almost as hectic as being in the hospital, Mira mused while looking in the microscope and comparing her findings with previous ones. Shalimar had woken when Brennan shocked her back into a normal heart rhythm and that had just begun the crazy part of her morning.

Everyone had crowded around Shalimar when they had heard her voice. The elation and confusion was wild for the first few moments. Finally, Mira had chased everyone out so she could complete her tests and, with any luck, give Shalimar a clean bill of health… or as clean as she could with the bullet hole in her side.

Brennan, again, hadn't wanted to leave her side, but Shalimar had taken over the argument for her. Shalimar had softly murmured words in Brennan's ear and given him a soft and slow kiss. He hesitated but continued out the door when she told him she would be out soon.

That was almost two hours ago. She almost laughed at Shalimar's restlessness. It seemed that her healing abilities had not taken a break while she was unconscious. She was mending well. A scan of her abdominal section showed that the tissues were already beginning the healing process and a quick look over Shalimar's wounds showed that most of the minor ones where starting to heal as well. The dark spot on Shalimar's head had faded considerably, and she was exhibiting a full range of motor and memory function.

Shalimar felt like she had been trussed like a holiday turkey. She had a large bandage across her abdomen, several smaller ones on her arms, and two dressings covering the burn marks from the defibrillator. It hurt to breathe, but she was hell-bent on not letting anyone know about the four cracked ribs she sustained from the compressions that Lexa performed. They had helped to save her and she didn't want anyone to feel bad about that.

Finally, Mira looked at Shalimar when the last results were checked. "The tests look good. You're going to have to be careful for a few weeks, but so long as you don't strain anything, you should be 100 in a little over a month." Mira felt a smile cross her face as Shalimar grinned back.

"So that means I can go now?" Shalimar asked as she swung her legs over the side of the table too rapidly and winced as the pain took hold.

"Hold on for another minute," Mira said frowning at her as she headed to the door and called for Brennan to come in.

Brennan walked through the door with a grin across his face. It slacked slightly as he saw Shalimar holding tightly to her side. "What's wrong?" he asked, not quite sure of who to address.

"Nothing, just sore," Shalimar said trying to ignore the stabbing pain shooting through her side.

"It's not, nothing," Mira interrupted. "She is still healing and will wind up pulling out her stitches and start bleeding again if she keeps trying to move all over."

Shalimar shot her a withering look.

"You, young lady, need to take it easy. I can't emphasize that enough. I normally wouldn't let any of my patient's even try to move this soon, but since you are healing so well and have such a good support system, I'm only going to make sure you stay here a few more days." She looked to the brightened looks on both faces. "However, if I catch you overdoing it at all, I will make you stay longer!"

"Thank you so much," Brennan said the words that were a poor substitution to how much he felt he owed this woman.

"I'm going to need you to keep an eye on her and help her as much as you can," Mira said turning to Brennan. "You and the others will have a lot to do to help her, and don't let her fool you into doing more then she can. That's the worst way to cause the injury to worsen."

Brennan looked at Shalimar with a wry grin, "I don't think that will be a problem."

"You can help her out to the couch, but that's as far as she goes for now. I'll check on her again tonight, and over the next two days, I'll make sure she is healing properly. With her feral DNA, she should heal quicker then most humans, but I want to make sure that she doesn't develop any infections or sepsis. After that we can work out some way for me to monitor her progress," Mira said opening the door for Brennan as he helped Shalimar to her feet and supported her as she walked into the living room to be greeted by everyone else.

Brennan gingerly helped Shalimar to the sofa where Beau and Angel had gotten up to allow the other two to sit down, especially since the recliner end would be better for Shalimar to rest. She complained briefly about being reclined yet again, but the looks she received with her complaints immediately silenced her. Suddenly the whole room had seemed to fall silent as the four members of Mutant X, Beau and Angel looked at each other in curiosity and bewilderment as to what needed to be said.

Finally Jesse walked over to Shalimar and embraced her as hard as he dared without risking any further injury. "I'm so glad you're okay," he said softly into her ear as he pulled away.

She smiled softly back at him. "You should know it would take more than that to keep me down, Jess."

"You still scared me," he voiced softly as he sat on one side of her.

Brennan propped himself on the arm of the sofa at her other side and looked down. "She's going to make me old and gray way before my time!"

The tension had finally been cut and everyone else smiled and grinned. They were all alive. They had made it through the challenge battered and bruised, but they were still there to talk about it.

"Shal, you have your hands full with this one!" Angel said motioning toward Brennan. "We practically had to throw him in the shower. I'm surprised his smell alone didn't wake you up."

Everyone joined in the laughter and enjoyed the moment.

"Ouch, stop, don't make me laugh." Shalimar said gripping her side as the group laughed and agreed to the statements. Finally calming herself, she looked at all of the faces, and a thrill ran through her knowing that Jesse and Brennan were finally home. "So where do we start or have you filled them in on everything, Lex?"

Lexa looked up from her seat on the coffee table in front of Shalimar. "No, you had everyone too worried to concentrate on anything else." Lexa felt distant. She was trying to control her emotions. She had gotten way too close again and had felt her heart plummet to her feet just a few hours prior. She'd been pounding on Shalimar's chest and cursing her. Shalimar's wince at Jesse's touch and the grimace of pain when she attempted to laugh had served as vivid reminders. Now Shalimar was seated calmly in front of her as if it was still a few days ago in the safe house. She needed to get out for a while. "That can wait for now, Shal. Concentrate on getting out of here first and then we can worry about all of the other crap."

"I'm okay now if you want to talk about it." Shalimar looked into the Lexa's eyes and saw the distance that had come over the molecular once again.

Lexa decided that this would be a good opportunity to bail. "Did you want anything from the safe house? I was going to run back and pick up a few more changes of clothes. Ian wants us to stay here until you're well enough to move without too much injury to yourself."

Shalimar sighed in defeat and noticed the gazes of the others looking slightly confused at their conversation. It was so stilted and mechanical. "I could use some clothes, if you don't mind."

"Okay, I'll be back in a while. Angel… Beau, would you like anything?" Lexa asked, turning to them as she stood.

"The same please." Beau answered before turning his attention back to Shalimar.

Jesse stood to follow her and grimaced as the pain in his side radiated through his body. "I'll go with you, Lexa."

Lexa looked at his face and placed both of her hands on his shoulders pressing him back down into his seat. "You stay here!" she said pointedly. "You aren't in much better shape then Shalimar, and you need to heal up." She leaned in and gave him a lingering kiss on his cheek, whispering quietly in his ear. "I promise I'll be back soon."

"I'll go with you," Angel said following Lexa as she began to exit.

"Nah, I won't be gone for more then a few hours at most," Lexa said, trying to gain some alone time.

Angel softly grabbed Lexa's arm. "We still need to stick together, now even more then before." Angel's voice was firm. "We're still being hunted, Lexa. We can't take the risk of being caught alone."

Lexa began to argue, but the logic in Angel's statement made too much sense. They had just been reunited and a stupid move like this could land them back at where they were before. She didn't want to be separated again so soon. Lexa rolled her eyes in defiance, but murmured a soft 'okay' as she headed toward the door.

The remaining four watched as the two walked out of the room and through the front door before returning their attention to each other.

"So what's your injury list?" Shalimar said, gingerly reaching over and tugging up Jesse's shirt to see the bruising.

After a while of catching up on what had happened in the compound and comparing war wounds, Mira came into the living room from the lab and ordered Shalimar to lie down. Ian had joined them for a little while and told Shalimar that he had set up the futon in his den for her to sleep on. Shalimar was disgruntled, but did not fight with Brennan when he stood and lead her to the room.

* * *

Jesse was ordered to bed as well, and had been proud that he had made it up the stairs without aid. He had bitten his lip several times to ward off the yelp that wanted to free itself, but arrived in the bedroom and carefully laid out on the comforter enjoying the softness of the mattress and the blankets beneath him. He vowed to never again take those things for granted.

He lay on the bed looking up at the ceiling remembering waking up this morning. It had been so wonderful to wake up to Lexa's warm body and soft scent. He had almost forgotten how nice it was. His thoughts turned back to her demeanor before she left. He had seen the look in her eye. The one that said she was scared. She had always been afraid to be too close, but he guessed this morning was too much for her to process and she needed some time to sort things out. He was glad that Angel had gone with her.

The two had seemed to bond slightly. He had noticed it this morning while they were talking and waiting for Shalimar's evaluation to be finished. Angel had a fairly gentle way of approach and talked easily with Lexa. He was astonished at how much Lexa had opened up to these people in the short time that he and Brennan were gone.

_Three months isn't that short of a time though._

The thought resounded in his head. Some days he had sworn they had been gone for almost a year. Other days he felt like it had been just yesterday that he and Brennan took off to answer the distress signal and help the new mutants trapped by the Dominion. The new mutants had been saved, though. He and Brennan had paid the price, but they had done their job and done it well.

His thoughts drifted and he sank into a deep sleep as the afternoon rolled on.

* * *

Brennan helped Shalimar to the futon and walked over to close the door before returning to her side.

"I'm fine, really," Shalimar said as she attempted to roll onto her side and was hit with a wave of nausea and pain. She stopped for several seconds breathing deeply and waiting for the feeling to pass before shifting back into her position on her back.

"I see that," Brennan said with a smirk. "You need some rest though. Can I get you something to drink or eat?"

Shalimar looked slightly embarrassed before asking, "Can I get a glass of milk or water maybe?"

Brennan faked looking put out. "Oh, alright," he smiled then stood and walked to the door and turned as he began to open it. "Don't you dare move anywhere!"

"Fine," Shalimar huffed, but honestly didn't think she had the energy to move any more then she already did.

Brennan returned shortly with a glass of milk in hand and Shalimar smiled up appreciatively at him. She took a few minutes to drain the glass but it staved off the nausea. When she finished she looked up at Brennan perched on the side of the bed with inquiring eyes.

"You know that this thing is big enough for two right?" she tried to kid as she scooted over slightly.

Brennan just looked at her with a slightly nonplussed expression.

"Bren? Are you feeling okay?" Shalimar tentatively reached her hand out and grasped his wrist.

He looked into her eyes and she saw the unshed tears that had built up, but knew that he would refuse to let them go. With his other hand he gently tucked a soft blond lock of hair behind her ear and held her face tenderly before nodding slightly and allowing her to tug him onto the futon with her.

"Shal?" his voice whispered hoarsely. "Please don't let this be another dream."

"It's not, Bren. I promise. I'm here and alive. You and Jesse are safe now," Shalimar answered, feeling the tears well up in her own voice as well.

He turned on his side to face her better and stroked the side of her face and hair gently as if afraid to cause her more injury. "I just can't believe that I'm finally here with you," he whispered softly, almost hesitantly. "God, I missed you." He pulled her into as close of an embrace as he could.

Shalimar felt the tears cascade down her cheeks as she tried to avoid aggravating her injury but still pulling Brennan as close as she possibly could. "I'm here… I'm not gonna let you go." Shalimar said between sobs.

"I'm so sorry…" Brennan's voice cracked slightly, his grip tightening slightly as their bodies pressed closely together.

Shalimar gasped slightly at the pain shooting through her side and Brennan moved to pull back only to have Shalimar tighten her grip to keep him from letting go. "Please don't let go yet," she pleaded softly. "Don't be sorry, Bren… I have you here and now, that's all that I care about."

He pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. "You are my life, Shal. I don't know what I would have done if I lost you."

His lips met hers in a delicate kiss. She felt them softly brush against hers as she returned it. Then her lips parted slightly to allow him better access as her tongue softly sought his. They stayed that way for long moments, and his hand came up to frame her face at some point and was tangling in her hair. Her free arm reached up and stroked his side. Finally they ended the kiss, breathing heavily against each other's face as they rested their foreheads against together.

"You need to get some sleep," Brennan panted softly.

"Yeah, because being asleep for almost two days means I should sleep some more," Shalimar said, stifling a yawn, but noticed the exhaustion written across Brennan's face. She reclined back onto the pillow and looked into his face. "I'll sleep but only if you join me," she compromised.

He let out a soft laugh and rested his head on the adjacent pillow. "I am a little tired, but if you need anything let me know."

"I will," she promised as she entangled their hands and cursed her wounds for not allowing her to be in more contact with him.

Soon the room was filled with Brennan's slow breathing and Shalimar could only look over at him while he slept and prayed that things got better from here… for a little while at least. With thoughts of them together again, she drifted off into a deep sleep.

* * *

**_So what'dya think? Let me know, pretty please?_**


	22. Making Connections

**_New AN:_**

**_I've updated the chapter and cleaned it up. I hope it looks better. I also added and changed a few things so you might want to read it again!_**

**_Thanks to all of my reviewers! _**

**_Old Note:_**

_I'm finally done this chapter! Woo Hoo! Jesse/Lexa lovers, here ya go! Please tell me that you like it. I tried really hard to get them both right. Let me know if I did good or bad!_

_Sidenote: The unedited version will be posted on my site in a few days, so check with that sometime this weekend._

_**Kai0707** - I'm so sorry that I didn't get this done sooner. I was having some issues with where I needed to go. I apologize upfront for not much Bren/Shal action right now, but it is coming! I do promise to get cracking on that other fic soon. I need to email you with the ideas, ;) Please keep your stories going. I need a few minutes, but I promise to review!_

_**Tampaby16** - Thank you so much for your review! I'm very greatful that you took the time to let me know you like it. It adds to my motivation to get writing when I see new reviewers! Hope you like J/L, or at least a little, I had to do it for a few friends._

_**Sbfangal** - Sweetie, I'm so sorry in advance for not getting there faster. I wanted to get this done a while ago, but you know life! I just realized how long it took me to post this next chapter and I deeply apologize. I'm an ass, 'nuff said. In advance, please don't be too mad at me for this chapter._

_**Griffbear** - Thanks so much for the support. I really wanted this to be a quality fic. I'm so glad you think so, again I'm sorry I took so long to get this next part out._

_**Stormchilde** - This one's for you baby! You will have to check my site in a few days when I get the **unedited** version posted! I hope you consider this a very late birthday present. BTW, Happy Belated Birthday! _

_**General Note** - I just wanted to send a big thanks to Stephanie, Sara and Rachel for all of their help with this fic. _

_I also realized that I fed up! (Gasp) I never said thank you to **Slidershal**. I owe her a huge debt for being one of the first people I talked about this story with. She had gotten very wrapped up in R/L and was unable to continue to help, but if she's out there I want her to know that I didn't forget her or the initial boost she gave me! If you haven't read her fics I highly suggest it. They are very B/S, but even if you aren't a big fan of that pairing, they are so well written that you should read them anyway!_

_Oh Yeah, and support your writers, these are the people who keep our favorite characters alive after the show is gone. _

_Have I blabbed on enough yet? If your still reading, just ignore me and get to the fic!_

* * *

**_Chapter 22: Making Connections_**

Lexa felt the heat from Angel's stare but kept her eyes firmly focused on the road. She wanted to be alone. Angel's eyes boring into her was making the planned quiet time much more difficult.

"You gonna say something?" Angel said nonchalantly as she finally broke the silence.

Lexa didn't turn her head, "No," she growled out in a low voice.

Angel was going to make Lexa talk about what was going on. In their recent months of living together Angel had come to care deeply for both Shalimar and Lexa. She had come to understand a lot about Lexa's nature and how she operated. She also knew that when Lexa withdrew like she had at the cabin something was seriously bothering her.

A part of Angel wanted to leave the brunette alone and let her come to terms with the problem on her own. Another part, albeit the larger part, knew that there was too much going on for Lexa to be so focused on her own problem. With everything that was going on the whole team was going to need to have their heads in the game if they wanted to survive. Lexa could be mad at her later, but right now Lexa needed to expel the demons haunting her. By Angel's calculations she had another two hours to get it out of her before they returned back to Ian's.

"Okay, I'll start then!" Angel's voice had taken on a faux cheeriness. "What the hell crawled up your ass, and why are you acting this way all of a sudden?"

"What's it to you?" Lexa snapped.

Angel looked at her slightly nonplussed. "Well a few days ago you were in the middle of a fight for our lives and the lives of the team, and your mood was so much better then it is now."

"I don't want to talk about it." Lexa's voice resounded firm and low in the passenger compartment of the vehicle.

Angel sat quietly for a little while longer, thinking about Lexa's reactions and when the change had taken place. She realized that Lexa had changed after they helped save Shalimar's life. She wondered if maybe it had been too much. Having to perform CPR on a friend was a traumatic experience for anyone.

"I didn't think you'd give up that easily," Lexa drawled.

"Oh, I didn't," Angel smiled falsely. "I'm just considering other avenues of attack."

Lexa reached over and turned on the radio. She didn't care what was playing, but it gave her an avenue away from the strained quiet. She was surprised when Angel hadn't attempted to continue the conversation almost a half-hour later when they were driving down the rocky back road leading to the house that they were sharing. Lexa took her good fortune and hurried onward in attempts to thwart any further conversation.

Angel smiled slightly as she eyed Lexa's seemingly intense concentration on their destination. She had a plan of attack and was just waiting for the opportune time. She looked up at the approaching faded blue of the house and hoped that she was able to pull Lexa into a conversation once inside the house. She almost laughed as Lexa jumped out of the SUV and headed for the house, not even bothering to cut the ignition on the vehicle. Angel reached over and turned the key off then followed Lexa into the house.

Lexa went through the clothes that she had. She tried to find anything of Jesse's to bring back. She had stumbled on the sweater she had worn only a few days ago and a pair of his older cargo pants. She frowned, but didn't have many other choices for clothing. Right after Brennan and Jesse were captured, she and Shalimar had almost no time to pack and leave before the Dominion was breaking into the safe-house where they had been staying. Somehow she had packed a few of Jesse's shirts and a pair of pants in her bag. A sudden realization came to her while she was packing, and she headed off to Angel & Beau's room to talk to the feral.

Angel was rummaging in her and Beau's room trying to find some clothes for them. Brennan should be able to fit into Beau's clothes, she hoped. They would most likely be too big on him, he had lost a lot of weight while being held hostage, but they should work until they had a chance to find more clothing. Shalimar had complained about losing almost everything of Brennan's after they left. Angel momentarily pondered if that had been the reason for Shalimar's venture back to Sanctuary.

"Angel," Lexa said as she opened the door to the room, breaking Angel from her musings.

Angel looked up from the pile of clothes she had been staring blankly at. "Yeah?"

"We aren't coming back here." Lexa's tone was flat.

"Lexa, what's going on?" Angel said pointedly.

"Just what I said, we need to gather our stuff," Lexa said, annoyance clouding her tone. "We can't come back here. The Dominion will be pissed that we rescued Jesse and Brennan. They'll be hunting us again, and we have to figure out a game plan."

"Okay, but that's not what I mean Lexa, and you know it," Angel said sharply, sitting hard on the bed and looking up at the dark haired molecular. "You need to tell me what the hell your problem is all of a sudden. You're not doing anyone any good by being a bitch."

"You haven't begun to see bitch…" Lexa trailed off before spinning around to leave. She barely had time to start walking out the door before Angel appeared in the door frame blocking Lexa's exit. Lexa dropped her tone almost to a growl. "You need to move now."

Angel's eyes flashed golden and Lexa's fingertips began to glow bright.

The light from Angel's eyes faded and her voice sounded softer then expected. "Lexa, you can't keep running like this."

"Watch me," Lexa said tersely, allowing her power to recede. "Now let me out."

Angel moved a hand to Lexa's shoulder gently. "No, Lex." She ventured a guess at part of the problem. "I was with you there this morning, if you remember."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lexa said trying to get past the feral once again. It didn't feel like that short of a time ago. The past three days had felt like a month.

This time Angel let her pass but followed her down the hall. "I know it couldn't have been easy on you, watching a woman who you consider a sister die in front of you and then try to revive her. I know it wasn't for me."

Lexa stopped dead in her tracks in the middle of the living room. She didn't turn around… She couldn't… And she didn't want Angel to see the tears threatening to break free from her eyes. "We did what we had to." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Angel realized she had been right, and for the first time in a long time, she wasn't happy about it. She walked up behind Lexa and tugged her shoulder to spin the darker haired woman around. She saw the tears that were beginning to track down Lexa's cheeks and pulled her into a hug.

Lexa didn't want to be touched at first, but the reassurance of her new friend was what her broken soul was yearning for right now. She couldn't explain these feelings to Jesse and Brennan was too traumatized himself to add any more to his burden. She found herself sobbing softly into Angel's shoulder, "After I lost my brother, I swore I would never let anyone that close again."

Angel pulled Lexa onto the sofa and felt tears well up in her own eyes. "I've lost so many friends. I never wanted to be close to anyone again. Beau is the closest thing I have to family… And now you guys."

Lexa looked into Angel's soft brown eyes and saw understanding. "I didn't realize how much Shalimar meant to me. I've always looked after my brother, but I realized too late that she was looking after me."

"That's who she is. She's a protector," Angel confirmed.

"That's not what I meant." Lexa sat up and took a few deep breaths, "Did you see how she was shot?"

Angel shook her head.

"The first two shots were aimed at her and she evaded them just fine. The guard shot at me and she jumped in front of the bullet to stop me from getting hit… I never even said thank you." Lexa took another deep breath to avoid crying again.

The feral's eyes only held solemn understanding. "I was too busy to see that. I just heard the shots." Angel paused as memories of the grim scene raced through her mind. She found her voice again as she realized how much Lexa was blaming herself for Shalimar being injured. "Lex, do you really think she would have done it if she didn't care for you as family? You heard her this afternoon… Shalimar's just glad that everyone got home alive and safe… It's not too late to talk to her, either."

"She almost died because of me. I was too slow and should have been watching better." Lexa's words were filled with self-loathing as she wiped the tears away from her eyes.

"You were doing what you had to so the rest of us could escape. We were trapped, Lex." Angel's words hung in the air for a moment while Lexa's mind ran through the situation again. "Everyone's alright now or well on their way to being better."

"I don't know what happened to me. I used to be so good at being the ice-queen," Lexa said sitting upright and drying her eyes.

Angel wiped a few stray tears from her face and looked back at Lexa. "You're right though."

Lexa looked at Angel with a quizzical expression.

"We do have to get our stuff and leave here for good," she said with a sigh.

"Are you done with the therapy session?" Lexa wryly asked as she stood.

"For now," Angel gave her a smile as they began to gather as many of the supplies as they could and load the truck.

Lexa and Angel worked together to take most of the downstairs apart and Lexa purged the hard drive of their research and activities. She refused to make it easy for the Dominion to follow them.

When they reached Shalimar's room, they packed the few items of clothes and trinkets that were collected. Lexa smiled at the dancing unicorn snow globe. She wondered where it had come from. It looked old. The wood had a few nicks and scratches, but in the bottom was a key that she tuned and heard the soft music box strains of 'Born Free'.

"That's very fitting for Shalimar," Angel said as she walked over and looked at the globe. "I think she'll want to keep that."

"Yeah," Lexa said distantly, thinking of how she had seen this in Shalimar's room at Sanctuary. "She's had this for a while."

"I found this old journal too." Angel showed Lexa a faded blue velvet covered book. Her tone dropped to a conspiratorially whisper and tried not to laugh, "Do you think we should read it?"

Lexa smiled briefly at the idea "I don't think that would be the wisest of decisions…"

Angel dropped the book into the gear bag with the other supplies. "It's probably all about Brennan and feral stuff anyway."

"You're right," Lexa said grabbing the last of the clothes, but before she piled them on top of the journal she looked at Angel. "You promise not to tell?"

"You read my mind!"

Angel's hand's dived into the bag and retrieved the object, and then both she and Lexa sat on the bed where they opened to a page in the center and began reading. When they were done, they were only able to stare between themselves and the book.

Finally Lexa broke the silence. "Wow, I, um, never realized that Brennan would write that stuff!" She turned to her friend with a look of revelation. "I guess we know what Shalimar has been doing locked in her room all those times."

Angel just returned her gaze with a dumbfounded expression. "Um, we never tell either of them we read that."

Lexa couldn't stop herself, "You mean about the rock and the dress…"

"…and the feel and the…" Angel took a deep breath and forced herself to focus. "We never speak of this to anyone!"

"Agreed," Lexa said, rapidly stuffing the journal into the bag and finishing her search of the room. She noticed Angel grabbing the bag and zipping it, "I'm ready when you are!"

Angel only smiled and nodded as they made there way out of the safe house. The ride back to Ian's house was less somber and tense than the ride to the safe house. Most of this trip was punctuated by girlish giggles and quotes of a few of Brennan's more colorful words.

* * *

It was early in the morning, and Jesse found himself walking to the kitchen in Sanctuary with nothing more then a pair of boxers on. His mind felt hazy and slightly disoriented, for some reason the idea of being in Sanctuary felt wrong but he didn't know why. He remembered needing something from the kitchen, he just couldn't remember what. As he turned the corner, he found Lexa sitting on the table in a dark red satin camisole that barely grazed the tops of her thighs. He felt a spurt of lust shoot though him.

Lexa looked up and gave him a wry smile as he noticed her eating a banana and drinking a glass of chocolate milk.

"Morning," Lexa said almost huskily. "I didn't think you would be _up _this early." Her voice dropped off with a suggestive tone, motioning to his boxers.

"I think I'd be _up _more often if you wore stuff like that," Jesse replied as he crossed the room and situated himself between her legs then kissed her softly, tasting the sweet mix of banana and chocolate in her mouth. He felt her slide forward on the table and grind softly against him. He felt her warm body pressed against him as her hands slowly traveled down his body. He continued to explore her mouth and tease her lips with his tongue and teeth.

She was sliding her hands up his sides as he pulled her head closer with both hands. "Mmmm, Jesse," Lexa groaned into his mouth as she wrapped her legs tighter around him causing him to gasp as she grazed one of his deeper abrasions.

The painful shudder caused him to wake up… In the bed in Ian's spare room… and look right into Lexa's eyes that were filled with apology.

He stared into her beautiful hazel eyes and waived off the apology before it could come. "Don't apologize. I'm so glad that it wasn't all a dream."

"I hope you don't mind," Lexa said running her fingers through his lengthy dark blond hair. "I couldn't help myself."

Jesse just smiled and pulled her close, keeping their lips separated by only a fraction of an inch. He was really glad that he had taken the time to shave and clean up before lying down again. "I can't think of a better thing I'd like to do."

He closed the gap and kissed Lexa with an all-consuming passion. He ignored the pain that ripped through his torso as he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer. His tongue slowly traced the curves of her lips and dipped into her mouth, tangling their tongues. He tried to slow himself and regain control. But Lexa tasted so good, and it had been so long. It was hard to gain any semblance of control or even sanity at the moment. He knew that he was only going to aggravate his injuries, but couldn't bring himself to care.

"Is this a good idea?" Lexa managed to breathe out as Jesse kissed and nipped her neck grabbing the hem of her shirt and starting to pull it up.

"I need you," Jesse replied quickly as Lexa ran her hands down his torso, avoiding his injuries, and towards the waistband on his boxers.

Lexa stopped just shy of sliding her hand beneath the elastic and looked Jesse straight in the eye. "I don't want to hurt you."

Jesse felt his love for her well up inside of him. She was no longer the hardened mercenary that had dropped into Mutant X. This was the woman that he knew she was deep down and had fallen in love with so many months ago. He had to remember to breathe all of a sudden, and then found his voice. "I don't think you'd ever hurt me."

Lexa's eyes only portrayed her love and gratitude for Jesse as she moved back up his body and kissed him slowly, barely any depth to it at first. It intensified slowly and Jesse felt her push him back onto the bed. Her mouth moved down his neck and back up to his ear. "Let me make love to you."

The whisper was so soft and seductive… he felt a thrill run down him. It was the closest she had come to ever using the word love around him. He reached his hand to her face and held her still for a moment. "You are the most beautiful woman I know, Lexa Pierce," and trailed his hand down her face and neck, worshipping her in long fluid strokes.

Their clothes disappeared in slow motion, but if someone asked, neither would have been able to explain how. She straddled his thighs to keep him from injuring himself further. They took long moments becoming reacquainted with each others flesh. Teasing and tasting salty skin enjoying the moans and sighs that were elicited by the actions.

When they finally came together, the hunger of their months apart caused both to want to weep in relief. The spark between them flared to life brighter then before. It consumed the lovers in a passionate haze until they tipped over the brink of oblivion together.

They lay for long moments with her supporting her weight on her arms and caressing his lips with her own. He moved her onto her side and looked into her eyes. "I think I really am broken now," he joked half-heartedly.

"No," Lexa replied as she curled herself around him and pulling up the blankets. "I think we're both finally whole again."

* * *

A floor below, Shalimar lay awake in Brennan's arms with a smile on her face. She had heard the soft moans and whispers between the two above but tuned it out. Instead she focused on the man slumbering next to her. She had him back, and he still wanted her. She cuddled closer to him and whispered softly as she kissed his cheek, "I love you, Brennan."

He just pulled her a little tighter to his body and moments later she felt herself drift off to sleep.

* * *

**_C'mon you know you want to tell me what you think!_**


	23. Before the Sunset

**_New AN: _**

**_Thanks so much to all of my fans and to Sara for taking the time to clean up my errors!_**

**_Old AN:_**

_The next chapter is finally here! I really hope there is someone still reading this, and to be honest I'm surprised I didn't get more angry emails. I am making a promise though... I only have another chapter or so to go and I'm going to make this my priority. I have a few other story ideas and even though I want to get started with them, I can't in good conscience until I finish this. I have delayed this story far too long._

_As always the Mature version will be posted on my site._

_Onto my thanks..._

_**Kai0707** - I'm so sorry that this took me so damn long. I hope the B/S in this chapter will make up for a little of it._

_**tampabay16** - Thanks so much for taking the time to comment, and I'm glad I got J/L down okay. I really appreciate all of the fb even though it seems to take me forever to get this stuff cranked out!_

_**sbfangal** - Again I'm sorry for this taking as long as it has. I hope that I've done this chapter justice. I'm kinda saddened that I realized its almost done. :(_

_**stormchilde03** - I'm so glad you liked the J/L stuff. It took me so long to get them in character. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. I love Lexa and she has become such a good character for me to use._

_**Angelstorm21** - I didn't forget it, but RL got in the way again. Stupid real world! I'm so glad that you love the story and I hope that you like the upcoming stuff too!_

_Thanks also to my beta's who have made my messy writing a little bit easier. Steph, Sara, Rachel, you guys are the best. I know they didn't beta this yet, but they deserve so much credit for all the help they've given me so far._

_As always... do you think that I own them? No, really tell me if I do, I'll make all of the changes that should have been made!_

* * *

_**Chapter 23: Before the Sunset**_

The air felt crisp and clean. Shalimar could hear the birds singing in the trees and had to tamp down the urge to scale the big oak next to her that just seemed to be screaming her name. As it was, she was close to healed, but had been warned repeatedly by Mira that she was to take it easy and avoid anything too taxing. She hated not being able to climb up and get away from everything. The truth was that the past few days had been so crazy, that she needed time to let herself think about it all and… Brennan. High above everyone had always been one of her favorite places.

The sound of footsteps padding down the path behind her pulled her from those musings before their owner's voice did. "I know what you're thinking," Lexa's voice teased. "I also know that if you pull those stitches before Mira wants them out, you will be on restriction for another three weeks."

Shalimar continued to look wistfully up the beckoning oak. "I bet ya I wouldn't pull anything," she mused quietly before she turned her head with a quirk to her eyebrow in the brunette's direction.

Lexa walked over to the tree and leaned her back against it facing Shalimar, "It's your ass if they pop." Lexa's voice had taken on a wry tone and a smile tugged on the corners of her lips.

Shalimar frowned and kicked aimlessly at a rock on the ground before looking up at Lexa again. "It's been two weeks," she sighed. "I just want to be able to enjoy the warm snap and the luxury of the outdoors again."

Jesse's injuries were almost completely healed. Beau's arm was back to full function with no loss of movement. Brennan's minor injuries were healed within the first week. He and Jesse had been put on a diet plan by Ian to help them regain their weight while Angel helped with workout programs for the both of them. Shalimar had felt slightly jealous of the other feral female for her ability to help the guys heal and recondition themselves but accepted the fact that it was for the best. Right now Shalimar was allowed to walk around… and seethe at the time it was taking her to heal.

Lexa pushed off from the tree and tugged Shalimar's arm pulling her onto the path that led to the creek. The two walked in companionable silence for the short walk to the drop-off bordering the creek. The two hadn't talked much since Brennan and Jesse's escape. It seemed like they were always going in different directions. Shalimar appreciated the fact that Lexa had been the one to come out here and find her. They had become close while the guys were MIA and Shalimar missed her friend.

"Shal," Lexa's voice broke Shalimar's musings and she met Lexa's hazel green eyes. "I never said thank you," the brunette's voice was almost a whisper on the breeze surrounding them.

It took Shalimar a moment to figure out what Lexa had been referring to. Then it came to her as she noticed Lexa's line of sight directly on her healing abdomen. The words tumbled out of her mouth before she had a chance to realize what she was saying. "Lexa, I wasn't going to let them hurt anyone if I could have stopped it." Lexa's face took on a slight downcast before masking it quickly at Shalimar's hasty brush off of her apology and Shalimar realized that something else needed to be said. Lexa had a hard enough time of connecting with people, and apologizing was not Lexa's forte. "You are my family, and I made my decision. I'd do it all over again if I had to." She wrapped Lexa in her arms as tight as she could without causing herself more injury.

Lexa was quiet for a long time as she returned Shalimar's embrace. The brunette finally pulled away and looked into the mahogany eyes that shown with caring and affection, "You need to stop getting hurt." Her voice had taken on a wry tone, "I don't think the rest of us can handle it if we lose you."

Shalimar was taken aback by Lexa's openness and honesty. The light bender was rarely forward with her emotions and since the guys return she had seemed slightly distant. Shalimar could only guess that Lexa was still trying to process all of the emotions and come to terms with her feelings.

"Shal?" Brennan's voice called from down the path.

"You're stalker's come looking for you," Lexa's face broke into a huge grin.

Over the past several weeks Brennan was loathe to let Shalimar out of his sight. He had been tormented repeatedly about Shalimar needing a restraining order in order to go to the bathroom in private. Shalimar appreciated his protectiveness but was feeling slightly smothered, which was why she found herself sneaking outside earlier when he had been discussing some planning and projecting with Ian, Jesse, and Beau.

"We can disappear if you want," Lexa offered out her hand.

Shalimar smiled and nodded her head. She knew that she had hovered over Brennan when he hurt himself, but that didn't mean that she couldn't have some fun through. She smirked at Lexa and mouthed 'just for a moment' and grabbed Lexa's hand.

Brennan turned the corner and swore under his breath as he saw no one standing by the creek ledge. Shalimar felt her lips curve upward as she saw Brennan turn and retrace his steps. She could practically hear him thinking where he would try and look for her next. Her game, although fun, needed to come to an end. She pulled on Lexa's hand and they quietly walked up behind Brennan.

He came to an abrupt halt and spun around almost causing the two women to crash into him. Shalimar was unable to contain herself as the giggles erupted and the secret was out. Lexa dropped the cloak and Brennan looked between the two women scowling.

"Funny, real funny," he huffed and started to walk away.

Shalimar caught his smile as he started to turn and grabbed onto his arm before he could get too far. "You know that I will be okay on my own for five minutes, right?"

He sighed and looked to Lexa who had taken on a pointed expression. Shalimar could practically hear the gears turning in his head.

"I think I left my curling iron on," Lexa said abruptly. "I'm gonna just go… ah hell, would you two just talk this damn thing out!" she huffed and strode away from the two lovers.

Brennan looked anywhere but Shalimar's face for a few moments. Shalimar put her hand on his face and tugged his jaw down to look at her. "I think that was our signal to talk," she mused.

He shook his head and started walking toward the creek edge where a fallen log had been made into a bench and sat down. Shalimar followed and sat beside him. The silence was tense, but neither knew where to start first.

The blond finally decided that she needed to start the conversation or she might be watching the fish spawn return upstream when they matured. "Bren, what's going on?"

His elbows were on his knees and his hands were clasped together. His head had sunk onto his clenched hands and he made no movement for a long moment. He took a deep breath before he turned and looked at her for a moment. "I don't know what to think about what we learned. I mean Adam has been working on things for ages and we never knew. We have a choice as to what we want to do now?" he almost spat out the last few words with loathing.

Shalimar watched in silence. She knew that this had been weighing on him for several days. Her mind flashed back to the scene in the kitchen only two days before.

_The group of faces seated around the table had grown and changed so much in the past four years, was the only thought that Shalimar could bring herself to focus on as Ian and Lexa went about explaining Haven and all of Adam's other notes to everyone. Lexa and Ian had been tag teaming Adam's notes the past two weeks while most everyone else was still in recovery. Lexa had taken on an especially grueling schedule to figure out what needed to be done if they were to restart Mutant X. She had also been reading through Adam's notes on The Dominion. This included what would need to be done so that they could function without the threat of being captured or killed by the Dominion operatives. She had been searching for some type of solution, but she seemed to finally have come to a conclusion._

_"…Adam was sure if it." Lexa paused for a breath. "The Dominion knows their operatives are barely a match for us, and he's pretty sure if he were to reason with them, they would operate with us."_

_"No, we tried that before and look what happened to Sanctuary!" Brennan's voice sliced through the air like a sharp knife. "Look what happened to us!" His voice was quieter this time, but held reproach and conviction with every word._

_A glance around the table showed most of the members wincing and sucking in breaths._

_"Well Bren, we could just take to hiding for what's left of our lives!" Jesse said scathingly._

_"So what, we just ask permission to join the force that we were trying to annihilate?" the tone in Brennan's voice was icy._

_"No Brennan!" Lexa slapped her hand on the table causing her drink to slosh in her cup. "Adam's right, keep your enemies close. This could work. Besides they have the technology and access to keep us alive!"_

_Angel and Beau sat with guarded expressions on their face toward the opposite end of the table. Neither had made a move or attempted a comment until this point. It was Beau's soft accented tones that brought everyone back down. "Both of you have a point." He said looking first to Brennan and then to Lexa, "but I think that we all need time to think about what we want to do."_

_Shalimar could see Brennan's frustration etched over his face and placed her hand over his in what she hoped was reassurance. He looked at her briefly, but long enough for her to know that he was dropping this fight for now._

_Lexa stood straight again and took a deep breath before continuing, "Maybe we need some time to think about this and mull through our ideas. Maybe we can come back in a few days and talk about what we want to do a little less emotionally." Her words were hard, but the resigned look on her face showed her desire for this plan of action._

_Before anyone could answer Brennan was up and leaving the room, slamming the front door on his way out._

Shalimar found her voice after a moment and looked into Brennan's deep mocha eyes before he turned his sight back down to the ground, "We've always had a choice Bren." She ignored his derisive snort before continuing on. "Remember what we talked about after Adam disappeared?"

Brennan looked up at her again and nodded but didn't hold her gaze; instead he stared across the flowing water.

"We chose to follow Adam," she couldn't stop the sigh that escaped her lips. She too had felt betrayed when Adam left, only to return with cryptic messages. Then to tell them that the people who they had been working for, he had been working for, were in fact the people they should be fighting against. She had no idea where the myriad of emotions stopped. "Each of us just needs to decide what we want to do now."

They were both silent for a long time. The water splashed in small torrents below their vantage and an occasional fish leapt from the water breaking the steady rhythm of the stream.

Brennan turned and grabbed her hand, pulling her attention back to him, "I meant what I said Shal." Her confusion must have lined her features because his lips slightly upturned before continuing, "We can go wherever you want."

Shalimar felt her heart flip for a moment before the words of the scene a few days ago flashed through her mind. She stood up abruptly, pulling her hand away from Brennan. Suddenly she felt angry and she didn't know why, but she wanted to lash out at him for his remark. The words left her mouth before she realized that she was saying them. "How can you say that?"

The expression on his face might have been comical in another setting. "What do you mean, Shal?"

"You say that, but ever since we've been back together you have hovered over me incessantly but have barely made any move to touch me!" She held up her hand to stop him from answering. "You've barely kissed me since that first night and most of the time you wait until you think I'm asleep and then get up and sit in the chair or go out somewhere! I'm getting this push and pull feeling from you and I don't know what to make of it. Then you go and tell me those words again and I'm not sure what that means. I'm not going to be you're only reason for staying, but I'm not sure I want to leave!" Her voice had raised several notches and she was pacing in front of him with her arms wrapped around her stomach.

Brennan's face was bordering on stormy for a moment, but then it dropped and was replaced by an unreadable expression. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into his lap bringing his hands up to frame her face. Before she knew it he had pulled her face to his and was kissing her. Her shocked gasp allowed him entrance into her mouth and she felt herself give into the sensations of his hands wandering through her hair and stroking the sides of her face for a moment.

Then she realized what he was trying to do and pushed back from him with her eyes blazing. "No," she said scrambling to get to her feet. "No, Bren, you are not going to try and appease me like that!" She began to pace angrily in front of him again.

He stood and blocked her path. As she tried to maneuver around him, he grabbed her arms and held her firm. His eyes once again took on the stormy glaze. His voice was harsh, "What do you want me to tell you, Shal? Do you want me to tell you that I can't sleep most of the times, and when I do I have these horrific memories that are burned into my mind replay themselves over and over? Do you want me to tell you that I dream of killing people?" His eyes were slightly unfocused and she felt the slight tremors in his hands as they clenched her upper arms. He continued in a voice so low that it was almost a whisper, "Do you want me to tell you how many times they tortured me with visions of you in pain?" his voice sounded almost hollow. "Or how I dream of you being shot again, but this time killed?"

Shalimar looked up and saw the tears brimming in his eyes. Her hand involuntarily moved to his face and caressed his cheek before she felt herself whisper, "Yes."

He shrugged her hand away and let go of her before he retraced the steps she had retraced earlier. She knew that he wanted to run but she couldn't let him. If she let him run now, she ran the risk of him bottling this up even further and she would never get it out of him. He walked past her and from the way he was walking she had a feeling he wasn't going to stop. She did the only thing that she could think of on short notice that would guarantee him to stay for at least a few more minutes.

She tackled him.

Her side gave a violent stab of pain and she prayed that she hadn't pulled any stitches or started bleeding. The wound was mostly healed, but she still hadn't mended enough that she wouldn't tear the skin.

Brennan landed on his face underneath her and let out an 'ump' followed by a growl. "Get off," he said trying to stand and untangle her from him.

"No, Brennan," Shalimar said as she rolled him over and straddled his waist and pinned his shoulders to the ground. "You need to talk about this," she pleaded softly. "We need to talk about this." She hoped that her words would register and he would listen.

He struggled for a few moments and she felt more then one pain shoot through her side as she held firm on her grip of him. He looked up at her and for a moment she could feel his hopelessness and sensation of being lost. It made her heart break.

"I don't want to talk about it," he resigned collapsing back onto the ground and closing his eyes.

His hands planted themselves on her hips, but she stayed alert for the possible ploy where he would try and throw her off. His hands began to move and drift across her sides and over her stomach where they stopped and his eyes flew open and looked to where his hand landed on the wet, red, stain that had spread on her shirt.

"Damn it, Shal," he swore pushing her back into his lap as he sat up and peeled at her shirt to see the damage she had done to herself.

She had strained her stitches, but hadn't torn them. She had exerted them just enough to tear at her skin and start some bleeding.

"I'm okay, Bren," she said trying to brush his hands out of the way and push her shirt back down. "It's not the first time it's happened," she continued as she applied some pressure with a gauze she had in her pocket and watched as the blood trickled to a stop. She looked up with a small smile, "See, all better…" whatever she was going to say was stopped by the ghostly pallor that his face had taken on. "Bren?"

He looked up, but she felt as if he was looking through her rather then at her. His voice was distant when he finally spoke. "There was so much blood… I watched them beat you and you just kept bleeding… I didn't think someone could lose that much blood." His eyes blinked and tears trailed down his cheeks. Shalimar sat stock still and let him continue. "You, Lexa, Jesse… they just kept going, until I thought I was going insane." His eyes focused back on her and she saw his pain clearly though the dark orbs.

"Brennan, we're fine," she said pulling his hands away from his waist and to her face. She tenderly kissed each palm and trailed her hands down his arms until they reached his face where she wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and brought her lips to each lid and softly kissed them. She trailed her lips over his nose and on each cheek, tasting the salty tears that remained. He sat stock still and seemed to almost be afraid to move. His hands had once again fallen to her side and were clenching on her hips. "I'm here, Bren. I promise not to leave you," she said hoping to break his catatonic state.

His grip increased slightly, but that was the only clue that he heard her. She knew that he had been tortured, but both he and Jesse had avoided any talk about it. Lexa had mentioned a few days ago that Jesse had finally broken and talked about his time with the Dominion. Shalimar had become increasingly worried that Brennan seemed to be repressing everything. Now it was an emotional rollercoaster ride for him.

He hadn't responded, and she was becoming worried. "Brennan, look at me," she demanded, trying to snap his focus back to the present. His eyes finally met hers and she couldn't have stopped the words that flowed from her mouth, "I love you, Brennan." She was shocked that she had said it. It wasn't planned and she knew that it might make their choices more difficult, but her heart apparently didn't care.

The words must have hit him like a bucket of ice water because his eyes came into focus and he looked at Shalimar like a starving man at a buffet. His hands came up so quickly that it surprised even her. He framed her face and brought his lips to hers in a searing kiss. It was different from the past several they had shared. It was needy and all consuming. Shalimar felt as if she had never been kissed like that before. She returned his desire and reacquainted her tongue with his and basked in his taste. The orange juice he had drank this morning and a taste that was entirely him. He slowed down a little and tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth before parting for air. His hands still framed her face and her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck and shoulders.

"I love you," he said hoarsely. "I've never been in love like this before and it scares me."

For a moment his confession left her reeling, but she quickly regained her mind and brought her lips back to his in a slow kiss. She nibbled at both of his lips and ran her tongue along his teeth before caressing the inside of his mouth. The surge of emotions between them felt like a fire blazing. His tongue slid against hers in an erotic dance as her hands worked his shirt free from his jeans and traced the definition that was slowly returning to his abdomen. Her mouth left his to venture down his jaw and trace the outline of his ear and trail it with light bites. He sucked in a breath and she pushed him flat to the ground and hovered over top of him as she worked her way down his neck kissing and nipping.

His hands were under her shirt and she sighed as he came in contact with her bare flesh. His name came out as a soft murmur on her lips as he trailed his hands up her sides and to the sides of her bra-encased breasts. He brought his hands back down and dipped them along the waistband of her jeans before moving them up to her face and angling her head back up for a deep soul-shattering kiss.

She moved her legs up to straddle his hips and ground herself into him. The feeling of his length straining against the fabric encasing him caused her to whimper with need into his mouth. Her hands moved to his jeans again and as they started to work the button-fly his hands wrapped firmly around hers. Her eyes met his again.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," he let out a soft laugh before continuing. "But maybe we should wait, or at least go back to the house."

Shalimar looked into his eyes and got lost in him all over again. It took her a moment to respond, "Do you want this now?"

"More then anything," he answered honestly.

She grinned a feral smile and broke her hands free from his. "Don't make me wait any longer," she whispered as she began to undo his buttons. She made no pretense of going slow. This was about them healing each other. She melded her lips to his as they continued to pull at each others clothes.

His duster was peeled off and laid on the ground. He reclined back on it and looked up at her for a long moment. Sitting up, he pulled off her shirt and marveled at her bra for only a minute before flicking open the clasp and sliding it down her shoulders.

Her nails scraped down his back and she felt a pang of sorrow at the ribs and bones she felt beneath the skin. She tamped those thoughts down and pushed him backwards to pull his jeans off. Both his jeans and boxers were removed in one shove as he worked her button and began to push her jeans and panties down her legs. He moved to kick off his shoes and remove the clothes tangled at his feet. He laid her back for a moment and looked down at her body.

"You're so much more beautiful then I remembered," he breathed into her ear as he set about kissing his way down her body.

He worshiped her with his hands and she felt tears spring to her eyes as he fluttered soft kisses of apology around her stitched wound. Her hands wrapped under his jaw and brought his face up to meet her eyes. "Don't be sorry," she whispered. "Just be here for me now."

Brennan's lips quirked into a small smile and he put his mouth back to its task. He kissed his way down her legs as he finished pushing her clothes off. He climbed up to lay beside her on his side as he stared at her face for a moment.

The kiss that came was so tender and filled with emotion that Shalimar felt as if she was sharing a piece of Brennan's soul. She wondered if it was the same for him. He rolled onto his back and moved her to straddle him. His eyes voiced his concern of being too rough and she covered his lips with another kiss before he could speak his fears.

The soft sighs and moans interspersed with the singing of the birds as the blues in the sky changed to golds and pinks.

"I love you, Shalimar." Brennan whispered into her hair as she lay on top of him.

"I love you too, Bren," she replied and decided to hold onto him for a few more minutes before letting the cool air ground her.

Brennan kissed the top of her head and smiled. The sun was beginning to set.

"We should get dressed," he said reluctantly.

"I know," she sighed. "I just wanted to savor you for a moment."

They both redressed interspersed with touches and kisses. They shared the task of dressing and enjoyed the feel of the others hands on their flesh as the clothes were replaced.

Shalimar was hit with a wave of sadness as she looked at Brennan's eyes. There was a decision to make still and she didn't know what was going to happen. She loved him and whatever happened; it scared her that she might lose the one thing in her life that she had come to depend on.

Brennan brought his arms around her and she felt so secure wrapped in his embrace. They would have to talk soon about the decisions, but for now she was content to just be and hope that they could heal the pains in each other.

* * *

_Check out my webpage if you want the adult version! I love reviews, too!_


	24. Safe Haven

_Okay - here it is, the too long awaited update. My apologies, I wanted to get this done last weekend, but time and my muse were so not cooperating, so as a compensation, I've made it a long chapter._

_I know I said I was making this the last chapter, but I lied, so sue me. Better yet don't waste your money on a lawyer and just give me spiteful IM's. Good news is that there is one more chapter, and possibly an epilogue to follow. _

_Special thanks goes out to Sara, Stephanie and Rachel for all their help and coaxing with the story!_

_**Griffbear** - Thank you so much for your patience. I really am shooting for quality here, so it's good to know I'm achieving the quality if not the timely portion. _

_**Kai0707** - Sorry to make you wait so long. I have already been working on the next chapter so I will hopefully have it done in less then 2 weeks. I'm glad the emotions came across as clear as I wanted them to. Brennan's a great character to play with when I need to use a bottled emotion approach. I really hope you like this chap!_

_**Victorwebsterx** - I'm so glad I you printed it out. I actually thought about doing that when I'm done and putting it in a fancy binder. I hope you like the upcoming chapters._

_**Sbfangal** - Sorry this took so long to get out. I really wanted to have it done sooner, but time constraints on my PL were horrible. I really hope I get the emotions across in this chapter as well as the last. Be patient, the Journal bit is coming, I promise! Oh, and your english is better then some of the people that I work with, and they were born in the U.S. _

_**Stephanie** - Thanks so much for reviewing. I'm glad you like the story and it's kept your attention. My apologies for the lengthy time b/w updates. My PL is hell sometimes. Thanks so much for your compliments. I really do want to put out good fics for the fans to read so I hope the delay is worth it._

_**Stormchilde** - Here ya go sweetie! I baked a cake the other day, but cookies do sound good. Hmmmm, maybe that will be on the menu tonight! LOL, I hope that the next update will be soon. _

_**Mileykapri** - Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad that the story has kept your attention. As a rule, I really don't do the pregnancy thing in my fics for several reasons, the most prominent being that I find it to be an easy out when writers want to cause conflict. I do break my rules when I feel like it, so maybe there more like guidelines, but anyway... Probably no pregnancy. I hope that you don't hold that against me too much. I'd love to keep you as a reader._

_I was looking over my hit list and chapter 23 had 121 hits when I posted this. I'm begging, please with promises of smut or whatever else (Include whatever else you may want in your review) would make you want to review. Before you ask, I don't have money, so please don't ask. If I did I'd have time to write my book that I've had ideas for. _

_I really didn't write an extensivly smutty part to this story, but with some coaxing I might be inclined to elaborate a little for my website version._

_That's all done and said... On with the story_

* * *

**Chapter 24 - Safe Haven**

Dinner was a quiet affair that night. Most everyone grabbed plates of leftovers and shuffled off to their perspective corners. Brennan was seated in the corner alone flipping through some topics on a vid-screen; Beau, Angel and Lexa were discussing the idea of visiting Haven and seeing what was there; and Jesse sat with his feet propped on the coffee table watching Lexa intently as she spoke with the other ferals.

"Your food's going to get cold before you decide where you want to sit." Ian's voice teased her from behind.

Shalimar knew he was there but turned her head slightly to acknowledge his presence in the kitchen doorway, he was holding a plate in his hands. Before she could respond he tipped his head to the side to indicate for her to follow him and moved back into the kitchen and sat at the island table.

She looked up into Ian's emerald green eyes and noted his light brown hair that was about the same length as Brennan's when they first met, but laid flat with his bangs almost touching his eyes. He had softer features, but was definitely an attractive man. She felt like she knew so little about this man that had risked his life to save all of theirs. She couldn't bring herself to get personal with him right now though. Another glance at the door told her why… Brennan. She had too much on her mind to envision adding any more thoughts.

"I'm impressed by the fortitude that you have all shown." Ian said interrupting her thoughts before taking a draw from his beer.

Shalimar's smile didn't reach her eyes and she busied herself with taking a bite of her sandwich.

Ian didn't let her avoidance stop him. "I mean it Shalimar. You have all been through so much, and you are only stronger because of it."

She wasn't sure if it was his words or her thoughts but suddenly she dropped her eyes and stared at her plate as she answered. "We aren't as strong as we used to be." Her voice was low and somber. "In the past we wouldn't have been separated from each other like this."

"You're all still here aren't you?" Ian's voice held no sign of a jest.

She wondered if he was baiting her. She decided to bite; maybe an outsider's perspective would be helpful. If not she could totally disregard it. "That's not what I mean."

His expression turned grave, "I know exactly what you meant." His face and tone then softened, "You are all still here under this roof, and that speaks volumes in and of itself."

Shalimar took a deep gulp of her beer and started to argue, but he cut her off before she could get a word in.

"I'd be more worried about everyone here if they didn't have their personal crises going on right now." His lips slightly upturned, "The six of you have been to hell and back almost literally and you are all still standing and still care for each other. That speaks volumes about how good you guys are as a team."

Shalimar listened to him and let his words replay in her mind a moment before answering, "We might not be a team anymore." She tried to keep the distress and moroseness out of her voice but was pretty certain that some had seeped through. Her eyes drifting down in sadness, "Who knows what will happen when we make our decisions. I'm not even sure I want to stay with the team, but it's all I've had for over ten years now. I'm not sure what else I could want to do with my life."

He reached across the table and took her hand firmly, causing her to look at him again. "That's why we wanted everyone to have some time to think about it. Who knows if we can ever rescue Adam, but you have to decide if you want to continue being a member of Mutant X." He glanced toward the door, "So does everyone else in that room out there."

"What if my decision affects someone else's?" her plea was out before she could stop or censor it.

He looked at her with knowing eyes, "Brennan is a big boy and he has learned to live with his decisions. I think you need to have more faith in him."

"I have faith in him, but what if we aren't together because of my choice? What if I choose the wrong thing?" Her words echoed in the silent room. For a moment she wasn't sure if she said them, but Ian's look confirmed her fears. It was the root of her problem. She didn't want to choose wrong and lose her love, a part of her that was just starting to reconnect itself and make her whole again.

Ian was silent for a long time. He took the opportunity to drain the rest of his beer and get both of them another. She looked at it for a moment before opening it and taking a deep draw from the bottle. Ian simply mimicked her actions.

"Did you tell him what you want?" His voice was low and calm. It felt like a soothing balm to her irritated emotions. "I'm sure he's not happy with the options, but we all have decisions to make. If he chooses to let his heart lead him would it be such a bad thing?"

"I don't know," her voice rang with honesty.

* * *

Brennan watched as Shalimar walked back into the kitchen with Ian and felt a small stab of jealousy. He ignored it. This afternoon's revelations had confirmed what was going on between him and Shalimar. There was no reason to be jealous; he just needed to keep repeating those words to himself. 

He had never been a jealous type of guy. Of course he had never committed to anyone for a long period. The problem seemed to lie in the fact that his feelings for Shalimar ran deeper then he ever thought was possible. It was a thrilling and harrowing feeling all at once. There had never been anyone for him to have a reason to feel jealous. Repressing his emotions for the past few years had been easy. Every time someone accused him of fretting too much over Shalimar he was able to blow it off. Now that everything was out on the table between them he wasn't sure how he managed to keep everything so boxed up.

A glance back at the kitchen door had him thinking about the time he spent with Shalimar. It was such a vast contrast to his relationships of the past. The flame that was missing from his life came to him in the form of a blond feral who had taken his life by storm. Part of him regretted the three years they spent circling each other, but he was unable to regret it if the culmination was that they appreciated each other that much more.

He turned his attention back to the vid-screen and called up the information that Adam had given them. He needed to know what to do. He had always been good at planning for himself. That was before he was part of a team, a family; he had more then himself to think of now.

A part of him wanted to be on his own again. He only had himself to look after and he only had to plan for himself. It was a lonely road. The responsibilities were infinitesimally less, but he didn't think he had had half as much happiness alone as he had with Mutant X. Being a part of this team completed him in a way he never knew was missing.

Looking through the files on their genetic structure and what tests Adam had performed in their time at Sanctuary his thoughts turned to their _Expiration Dates_. No one knew how much time they had left, but for the New Mutant population that time seemed to be cut even shorter then average. Adam hadn't included their dates in the material and it was frustrating. To be honest Brennan wasn't sure that he wanted to know how much longer he had, but at the same time he felt like a choice had been taken away from him. Isn't that what started half of his fights with Adam in the first place?

"Hey there big guy," Lexa's voice held a falsely cheery note as she broke his concentration from the screen in front of him.

He looked up at her and knew that his skepticism was written across his face.

She threw her arms up, "Alright fine, I just want to talk." She said taking the seat opposite him.

His voice sounded slightly harsher then he wanted it to, "About what, Lex?"

"I'm not trying to start a fight," she put her hands up in defense. "Geez, can't we call a truce for a few minutes? I just wanted to let you in on the discussion that we were having over in the corner. I figured you might like to know." Her voice held only frustration, "We were discussing going to visit Haven and see what the place was like and basically check it all out."

Brennan looked at her for a moment, "Is that an invitation?" He countered his words with a smirk to let her know that they were on even ground for now.

Lexa seemed to accept his treaty and then changed her expression to one of mock impatience, "Are you going to answer?"

The thoughts of what this could mean flew through his mind, but in the end the idea that going was not committing to anything had him agreeing to take the drive. He looked up at the brunette and nodded, "Yeah, I'm in."

"Okay we're leaving by seven tomorrow morning." The grin that spilt her face at his reaction was expected, and he turned his attention back to the vid-screen and stabbed at the food on his plate rather then to argue with her.

* * *

Shalimar's words reverberated through herself as well as the room, a soft sad echo of her soul. Brennan was the biggest part of her life right now. Shalimar's heart and mind were warring so badly that she couldn't even figure out which one wanted what. 

Ian looked at her with understanding. Shalimar was happy for that; she didn't think she could deal with it if he pitied her. He looked as if he was about to speak when a knock at the door interrupted his actions.

"Shal? Ian?" Lexa's voice called from the other side of the door as she pushed it open.

Shalimar schooled her face to an impassive expression and looked up to meet Lexa's half-smile. "Whatcha need Lex?"

"If you're up to it, we're going to go and visit Haven in the morning." Lexa said as she sat down on Shalimar's right and stole a carrot stick off of her plate.

Shalimar smiled at Lexa's actions and saw the small smile returned by Lexa. "I think I'm up to it." Shalimar turned her focus back to Ian, "Do you want to come?"

The look of piqued interest on Ian's face spoke for him before his mouth could answer, "Yeah, I'd love to go."

"Okay, we leave at seven tomorrow morning," Lexa said standing and walking back out the door.

The door swung back and forth on its hinges, giving small glimpses into the adjoining living area. Shalimar watched as the door swung wide enough for her to catch a glimpse of Brennan. He was still staring intently at the vid-screen and she wondered if he had agreed to go as well.

The sound of Ian's beer being replaced on the table brought her back to the interrupted conversation.

She turned her head to meet the emerald eyes once again, "So what your saying is that I should make my decision and if Brennan wants to follow me, let him." Shalimar asked before taking another long pull from her beer.

"In so many words, yes." Ian relaxed back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm beginning to wonder if you're using your decision as an excuse," he chided lightly.

Shalimar's eyes narrowed, "What do you mean?" There was an edge to her voice that she couldn't avoid.

Ian looked straight into her eyes, "I think you are looking for an excuse if everything goes south. You're scared," he said pointedly.

"Like hell I am," Shalimar knew she sounded like a petulant child, but at this moment she didn't care. "I love him and I don't want him to make a choice he's unhappy with."

Ian's green eyes twinkled, "You're afraid that if you take a chance with him that he might hurt you." He put up a hand to stop her immediate refute. "What's the longest relationship you have ever had, Shalimar?"

She stopped to think. She had been committed to Adam and the team for a very long time, almost eleven years. There just hadn't been much time for a social life. It had been so long since she had been in any kind of committed relationship, the last long term one was with Zach. Shaking her head she looked up at her table mate, "What does that have to do with anything?"

Ian stood up and put his dishes in the sink and stopped to look at Shalimar as he walked toward the door, "It has everything to do with it." He squeezed her shoulder softly and walked out of the room leaving Shalimar to sit in the kitchen alone and contemplate his words.

* * *

He pushed her gently back on the bed and smiled at her glare. 

"Get over here and warm me up," the dark haired beauty said as she pulled his arm causing him to fall on top of her draping his body over hers.

He hissed as her teeth captured his bottom lip and then soothed it with her tongue before she opened her mouth enough to allow his to gain access.

"Lexa," her name was a mere whisper on his lips as he worked his way down her jaw and neck placing small kisses and bites along the way.

Her naked form felt like heaven against his. He relished every sensation and sigh from her full lips.

"Jesse," her voice interrupted his thoughts as he was proceeding lower down her body.

"Hmmm?" was all he could get out before wrapping a mouth around her sensitive flesh.

She sucked in a deep breath before murmuring a few unintelligible words. She arched into his touch and ran her fingers through his lengthening hair. "Jess," if he hadn't been in such a lust filled haze he might have noticed the change in her tone, as it was he didn't notice her change until she was physically pushing him away. Her hands were solid against his shoulders. "Jess, stop for a moment."

His brain felt foggy and confused for a few seconds before he took in the grave expression painting her face. He took a few calming breaths to will his body under enough control to hold a conversation and moved to sit on the side of the bed. His eyes met her sea colored ones reflecting in the moonlight filtering in from the window. She had sat up also and brought a pillow around her front, unconsciously hugging it and resting her chin on its top. Her face had taken on a more grave expression. "What's wrong?" he couldn't figure it out, just a few minutes ago they were in a good mood.

Lexa sat up and ran her fingers through her long mahogany hair. Her mouth took on a soft frown before speaking, "Do you think we'll all stay together?"

Jesse reached over and grabbed her hand, softly rubbing it between his fingers. "I don't know, Lex. I do know that I'm staying," he paused to take in her skeptical expression. "Alright I admit that I really hate this choice. I want to find another way. I have to agree with Brennan about that part."

Her skepticism turned into a scowl, "So what happened to all the support that you were giving me the other day? I thought you believed what you were saying?"

The bed creaked slightly as Jesse moved around behind her to wrap his seated body around hers. The touch of their flesh was comforting and warm. He dropped a soft kiss to her shoulder and steeled his nerves. "I'm doing this because I don't see any other choice." He brought his finger against her lips before she could begin her protests, "We need to save Adam somehow. This seems like our best shot for right now."

Lexa dropped her eyes and swiped at her eyes to keep the tears from falling. "Maybe we should just go our separate ways. I mean what; I've been with you guys for a year and a half now? I should have never stayed this long. I tried to tell you that when my brother died." She abruptly stood from the bed and paced the room, her naked form glowing in the ambient light.

She was pushing away, and Jesse could have smacked himself for what he said. He stood and she turned her back to him, he suspected to keep him from seeing her tears. His arms wrapped around her waist and he brought his mouth close to her ear. "I want to be with you too, Lexa." He pulled her tighter against his body and let out a sigh of relief that after a few seconds she relaxed into him and pulled his arms tighter around her. "You were the reason I kept going every day," he whispered softly against her hair. "I'd imagine all of the things we could have been doing together. I think I've loved you from the first time I really saw who you were."

The stiffening of her muscles in his arms had him realize what he just said, and he was ready to panic. She spun around to look him in the face, "Did you mean that?" her voice was almost a harsh whisper. Her eyes looked deeply into his, searching for her answers.

He swallowed and nodded, his voice lost somewhere in the interim. She pulled his lips to hers with a ferocity he didn't know she contained. When their bodies hit the mattress, he realized that she had pushed him back and was kissing him within an inch of his life. Her lips were firm and demanding, and he met them with equal ardor. Her tongue tangled with his in his mouth causing a delicious sensation to spread throughout his body. A tingling and warm feeling that started with his mouth and spread all the way down to his toes.

Pulling his hands to her face he stopped for only a minute to gaze into her eyes and see what he was searching for.

Her mouth opened slightly and he felt the soft breaths puffing on his face. "I don't know when it happened, Jess, but somewhere in the middle of this whole mess I fell for you too."

The last words were almost swallowed as he threaded his fingers through her hair and brought her mouth straight back to his. He rolled on top of her and almost sobbed at the feeling of home when they were joined. Their bodies pressed against each other in passion and hope. The room was filled with the soft sounds of their lovemaking until both were too exhausted and fell into a dreamless sleep wrapped tightly in each others arms.

* * *

"Can I tell you how much I miss my old t-shirts?" Brennan's voice came out half muffled by the duffel bag that he was rooting through looking for something to wear. 

From her spot of the bed, Shalimar stared shamelessly at his boxer clad ass hanging in the air. A smile crossed Shalimar's lips, "You think I don't miss my old wardrobe?"

Brennan's head surfaced from the green canvas, "I miss my favorite tee, there's a big difference, Shal." His features were marred by the frown.

"I know, but we will get some new stuff soon." Shalimar got up off the bed and folded herself against him, sighing happily when he wrapped his arms around her.

"It's not the same. I wish I didn't have to lose all of my stuff." Brennan said and leaned down kissing the top of her head and releasing her. He moved to the bed and pulled aside the covers and sat on the edge. "There were some things that I never thought I'd miss, until now, when I don't have them any more."

Thoughts of the journal flashed through Shalimar's mind. She realized that in the past few weeks they had been so busy she had forgotten to return it. The smile that crossed her face was a little wry, but she didn't care. Brennan might not be able to have a lot of his old stuff, but she was hoping that he would be happy to have something that she had been able to salvage. Opening her pack on the floor she started rooting through it until she came across the faded blue book.

"What are you doing, Shal?" Brennan asked as he lay down under the covers and watched her.

Turning to look at him, she flashed him a smile and hid the book behind her back. She focused on moving her hips seductively to distract him. The long t-shirt was far from the sexy lingerie that she used to own, but she decided to work with what she had. After all he didn't know she had forgone underwear just yet.

His gaze was drawn to the soft sway of her hips and his lips curved up in a smile. The material barely grazed her mid thigh. When his eyes finally worked their way back up to hers he had a naked look of longing showing through them. Moving closer to the bed, she kept her hands behind her back and bent down to kiss him. Starting at his forehead she worked her way down over his eyes and nose, across both cheeks, then his jaw line finally meeting his lips with a soft sweep against them trying to ignore his persistence of getting her to open her mouth.

"Shal," her name was a half-groan, half-plea as he spoke it against her.

She opened her mouth and tentatively swept her tongue softly across his lips which he almost immediately parted for her. Sliding her tongue into his mouth she brought her lips together with his and felt his mouth respond in kind. The sensations were washing over her as nothing but their mouths touched. The tangy cinnamon taste from his toothpaste and the smell of him so close to her was intoxicating.

Suddenly the balance shifted and the book was taken from her hands. Brennan looked up at her with an unrepentant smirk.

"You ass," she said and smacked his arm. For some reason he was one of the few people that could get her to drop her guard long enough to take advantage of her. She scowled at him and smacked the back of his head just for good measure.

"Ouch, would you stop hitting me?" Brennan moved back out of her reach and looked at the item that he had snatched from the now bitter feral's hands. His gaze fell to the faded blue cloth cover and his eyes shot back up at hers. His expression held the turbulent emotions of elation and surprise. And maybe she might have seen a hint of gratitude? "Shal?"

All pretenses of annoyance were thrown away with the way he said her name. It was a pull deep down in her soul. Her body moved of its own volition and straddled his legs with their hands clasped together on the book between their torsos. Their eyes hadn't left one another's, "I wasn't able to save much, but I was hoping that you might have wanted that back." The softness of her voice made her wonder if she had spoken loud enough for him to hear.

"I can't believe you found it," his voice was husky. He looked at the book and opened it, leafing through the pages and the memories it contained.

"I have a few of your other old books too." Shalimar's hand came to rest against the side of his head and she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Where… When…" he stammered. "How did you find these?" his voice was raw with emotion.

The delight that ran through her as she saw the joy running across his face made her feel like she might burst. For some reason her outing to Sanctuary had never come up in any of their conversations. Although she had caught Lexa and Angel smirking at Brennan a few times she hadn't really thought about the journal until Brennan had complained about missing his stuff. A thought crossed her mind of why Angel and Lexa had been smirking and she felt a bolt of fear and nervousness run through her.

Brennan's hand settling against her side and pulling her close brought her back to him. "Thank you," he said simply.

"I had a chance a few weeks ago, before we rescued you…" she began to explain.

His lips stopped any other words she might have been forming in her mind. Their bodies were pressed tightly together and he rolled over on her. He was mindful of her healing wounds, but his mouth was insistent and he poured all of his emotions into her through their joined lips. Tongues caressed each other in an erotic rhythm. Hands slid along bare flesh eliciting moans and gasps. Upon finding her lack of clothing beside her shirt, she felt his lips curve into a smile as he pressed against her.

His body was poised above her as he still drank deeply from her mouth. "I love you," he breathed softly into her mouth before pressing himself into her.

"God, Bren, I love you," she whispered softly against his lips as she felt the completion of being one. It was the feeling of home, life, and love wrapped into one fluid motion.

Their bodies pressed against each other and time stopped for them. There were no other problems, no other responsibilities, choices, or what-ifs. Life seemed to stop and only the two of them existed.

Teeth gently nibbled and nails bit into shoulders leaving half-moon indentations. Neither cared or wanted it to stop. The rhythm built to a blinding bliss and both were left breathless and shaking, but neither moved or wanted the feeling to end.

Softly they started moving again, slower then before, but with just as much passion and intensity. Words of love were whispered and written into their souls.

* * *

"Holy Shit!" 

"That's ever so eloquent, Lex."

"Like your any better with your 'This place is so wired, let the geek in me out to explore all of the little circuit boards,' Jess."

"Sure Bren, I could hear you thinking about how many cars you could fit into that garage."

At Shalimar's comment they all stopped and looked to Brennan and nodded in agreement. "Brennan, you're so busted," Lexa and Jesse said together.

Brennan tried to attempt as innocent expression as he could, "I swear…"

"Keep your swearing for church, sparky," Lexa said pushing past into the main room and looking around at the various terminals and doors leading off in different directions.

The group had entered through the garage and gone downstairs to the first floor. The building wasn't as big as Sanctuary, but could rival the size of a small mansion. There were various display screens on the walls; each of them seemed to have a different function. The first floor opened up to a large training area on the left, and then an alcove with computers and desks, a kitchen with a dinette was in the corner. The lab was placed in the center of the area. What would have been Adam's room was stared at morosely for several minutes by everyone.

All members of the team exchanged a look of sadness and regret. Their failure to find and save Adam after all of this time had been a burden that they shared.

"We'll get him back," Beau said softly.

For a moment the original members of Mutant X had almost forgotten about the others. Angel, Beau and Ian had all come along for the excursion to see what the new Mutant X headquarters would be like. The team felt it was only fitting. The group had helped them so much, and they felt as if they would never be able to thank them for everything.

Brennan, Shalimar, Jesse, and Lexa all looked up and wordlessly walked to the hall where the bedrooms were located.

"This has to be Brennan's," Shalimar said with a smirk.

"He found it for me!" Brennan's voice was laced with an enthusiasm that Shalimar had missed hearing. Brennan rushed into the room and held up a model car, "It's a 64 ½ cherry red mustang convertible." At the confused expressions he continued, "I was trying to find this model for months, and I had no luck. It's a limited edition and I couldn't find it anywhere!" The smile that lit up his face was infectious and soon everyone was smiling and looking around at the décor in the room.

"Shalimar, I think this is your room," Jesse tugged on her arm to move her to the next doorway leaving Brennan behind to look around at his bedroom. "You're the only one I know that would want a bed you have to climb up into." Jesse's cheeky grin earned him a slap in the chest as Shalimar walked past him into her room.

It was about the same size as her old room and had a large walk in closet and a desk. She had noticed that the room came complete with its own computer terminal and several shelves. There were sheets and a comforter on the bed, but they were all slightly dusty.

"It looks like we're going to have some laundry to do, huh?" Brennan said as he folded his arms around her from behind. He softly kissed her neck and gave her a chance to comprehend his words.

Shalimar thought for a moment before answering. Was Brennan saying that he wanted to stay? "Are you saying what I think you are?" Her voice was quiet, even to her own ears. She knew her words were laced with disbelief.

Brennan sighed and took a seat against the desk and pulled her in-between his legs. "I was thinking a lot while you were eating dinner with Ian," his barely disguised jealousy caused her to smile. "It's not funny," he tapped his finger on her nose. "I want to be with you, and I think I realize that whatever happens I am happiest with you and the team."

Shalimar felt her heart pound in her chest. "I want you to stay, Bren. I just don't want you to regret you're choice." The words seemed to come out of her without her permission. She still wasn't sure she was ready to be this open. Apparently her heart decided that it was.

The dark mahogany eyes that she had come to know so well seemed to look directly into her core. "I want to find out," he said simply.

She wrapped her arms tightly around him and felt a warm feeling of comfort when he returned the embrace and buried his face in her hair. They stood like that for long moments. Tears built up in Shalimar's eyes and she tried to firmly order them away, but felt her body ignore her. When they finally pulled apart their tracks still stained her cheeks and Brennan brought his thumbs up to wordlessly push them away.

"We'll figure something out. I don't want anything to do with the Dominion either." Shalimar's voice was firm. She was glad for that.

"I know we will," he said and kissed her lips softly. "Now let's go and check out the rest of this place."

They were almost out of her door when they heard the scream, their names screamed by both Jesse and Lexa. Without a second thought Shalimar and Brennan fled the room and tore to the area where the open terminals sat. Ian, Beau, and Angel arrived by their sides. Lexa and Jesse were both gaping at an image standing in front of them.

A familiar voice filled the halls of Haven…

* * *

_There's a button on the bottom right. It says submit reviews. I'm begging, I'd like to have close to 75 by the time I'm done with the story. It's been a lot of work!_

_You can also include how much you hate me for the freaking cliff I just left you dangling off of!_


	25. Rebuilding the Future

_**AN. 1** - Okay, first and foremost my apologies. I tried to get this out a lot sooner, but my animals have been having a ton of problems. As much as I love writing, I love them more and had to make sure they were cared for properly . _

_**AN 2** - Secondly thank you to everyone that reviewed. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I tried to get back to everyone and my apologies if I missed you or you didn't leave an email address. I just wanted to extend my deepest thanks for your support._

_**AN 3** - **BAD** News and **GOOD** news! I really wanted this chapter to be more then it turned out to be. When I had the outline in my mind it flowed a lot faster, but once I started writing it I realized I needed to answer a lot of questions. So unfortunately this chapter isn't very long but I couldn't cram everything I wanted into this chapter. Which leads me to the **GOOD** news, if you want to take it as such. Since I didn't finish this chapter as I wanted, I have one more chapter to write before the epilogue. So if you wanted more, I can gladly make you a little happier._

_**AN 4** - Thank you to my beta's and friends for all of their help and support. Sara, Stephanie, Rachel, and Rachel (she always seems to pop up when I need help with an idea!) You guys are the best and I'll send you cookies of your choosing._

_Again thanks to everyone who has reviewed, and I'd love to know what you think of the chapter, and I'm sorry in advance if it's a little slow. That will be remedied with the next one._

* * *

**_Chapter 25 - Rebuilding the Future_**

Looking into the familiar eyes each of them knew so well they murmured the same name under their breaths, "Adam."

"I see that you have discovered Haven." _Adam _walked around now converging group and looked at each one of the faces peering curiously and cautiously at him.

As he came close, Shalimar stretched out a hand in a rapid sweeping motion and felt the air part as her hand went through his body.

"I'm sorry, Shalimar." The hologram had a regretful tone. "The real me can't be here to help you."

"Oh, oh, you did it! I can't believe it!" Ian's voice broke through the silence. He saw everyone's eyes turn to him. He looked back at the hologram. "You really did it," his voice and expression were both of awe.

"What the hell is going on here?" Lexa said, grabbing Ian. She glanced out of the side of her eyes, watching the Adam hologram walk around them.

Ian had a look of barely contained excitement. "He did it! He got it to work!"

"Ian what are you talking about?" Jesse asked, walking up beside Lexa and placing a slightly restraining hand on her white knuckled grip.

"I think I can answer that for you," Adam's image started.

All eyes faced the projection with curiosity and preparation for something worse to happen. Their experiences with the Dominion had left everyone on edge and wary of anything that could be a trick.

"I'm a holographic image of Adam, created through his memories and experiences." The hologram moved over to the computer terminal. "Part of what I, well the real Adam had been trying to do for months was to create a computer generated image of himself with all of the same experiences and knowledge."

_Adam _continued tolook over the faces of the group standing before him. Lexa had released Ian, but her guard was still up. All three ferals were constantly sweeping the area with their eyes intermittently glowing amber. Too much had happened for them to relax. The fear that they had been caught in a trap loomed heavily over all of them.

The image continued, "Ian was my aid when I was trying to build this program. He never knew that it was completed. His abilities were able to help me tap into all of my knowledge and research to create a version of myself to help aid Mutant X if anything ever happened to me. I was instructed to turn on if the team came here and I had not entered a cancellation code in a pre-determined amount of time. I'm truly sorry that my real live version is not here."

"So Adam was able to upload his thoughts and memories to a computer that is generating a holographic projection of you?" Brennan's voice was laced with confusion.

"In short, yes," the hologram responded. "With Ian's help of computer manipulation, he and myself, or the real Adam so to speak, were able to record and retrieve Adam's conscious and subconscious to create a completely life-like representation."

"I thought that we had hit a wall when we were transferring the data," Ian's questioning voice filled in the hologram's pause.

The hologram smiled, "After you left, I was able to find someone else to help me. They were able to complete the task and over come the last bits of data disruption that we were having trouble with."

"So wait," Lexa cut in. "What you're telling us is that you are a computer representation of Adam? How is all of this possible?"

Jesse beat the hologram to the punch, "I've read theories on it in the past few years. No one had put it into effect yet." His view shifted from Lexa to the hologram. "So you are able to learn and adapt as well?"

The image nodded, "Yes, I was created to input and process experiences and effectively learn from them."

"Do you know where Adam is?" For the first time since seeing the image, Shalimar spoke. The tone was quiet but firm.

The hologram shook his head and frowned, "Unfortunately I only have the thoughts and theories of what Adam had before he left last year to meet with Mutant X when Lexa was having difficulties."

"But you might be able to start recreating the lab experiments and figure out what he did to stabilize the DNA?" Angel asked.

"Yes, I can run the theories, but because of my limitations, I will not be able to actually do the experiments for the most part. I however am able to control all of the functions of Haven through the network."

"Isn't that a little dangerous?" Brennan asked stepping up and glancing around.

"Adam realized that and created several fail-safes that he had not included in Sanctuary. He wanted to afford you as much protection as possible." The image walked over to the computer bank and pointed to a small cylindrical device next to the computer terminal. "This is the safety. You all have pass codes that once this switch is activated you can manually shut off my program to keep any harmful side effects from happening. Adam also did a mass encryption and multiple routing throughout an extensive program to avoid any hackers obtaining external access to the program."

"Wow," Jesse said. "If he used the routing programs that we were thinking about using in Sanctuary then it would be almost impossible for an outside agency or person to gain control of this place.

For several moments that was all that was said. The team looked to one another questioningly.

Shalimar spoke up, "How do we know that this place hasn't already been infiltrated by the Dominion and you are here to lead us into a trap?" Her emotions were on a tail-spin and she was trying to grasp the knowledge of all that the image before her was saying. When her hand had met the air as she tried to touch the hologram, she was reminded of the last time Adam had been in contact with her after he died. She had been so torn and upset, now those feelings all came cascading down upon her in an unrelenting deluge.

"Ian can verify my work while he was involved and I can access anything that has happened to Adam in the past that you might want to know to help dissuade your fears." The image stated confidently.

From the body language and the words, it appeared to be a projection of Adam. It had Adam's ticks and quirks. Shalimar couldn't help but notice the small half-smile that he had. The way he turned, and moved, and certain ways that he said each of their names each were identical to Adam. To a normal person they might not hear the subtle differences, but her feral hearing allowed her to pick up on the slight changes and nuances that were particular to each individual. These traits were all indicative of Adam; no one could have copied them.

"What happened to me when I first came here?" Lexa's voice asked softly, as if she needed to hear the answer, but wasn't sure if she wanted anyone else to be privy to it.

The image gave a sad smile, "I remember that you almost set the whole place on fire when you had a sneezing fit. If it weren't for the water elemental, Roger, staying with us at the time, you probably would have had me rebuilding Sanctuary from the ground up."

Lexa stood silently staring at the hologram. She didn't move or speak for several seconds. When she finally did her voice sounded controlled. "What happened to Roger?"

"He died two weeks later." The response was automatic, but tinged with sadness. "He was involved in a gang drive-by when he was trying to rescue a group of new mutants from the GSA. You were supposed to go and help him, but I had given you another assignment at the last minute. Roger assured both of us that he would be okay. You were on the other end of town retrieving data that I needed to infiltrate a ring of people selling new mutant children."

Lexa's eyes were damp with the memory. Shalimar walked over to her side and took her hand. Their eyes met and both nodded in acceptance of the image standing before them.

"So what do we do now?" Beau asked.

No one answered for a long moment. When a voice finally broke the silence, it was Adam's hologram that offered the answer. "We rebuild, that is if you are all willing."

"What about Adam?" Shalimar inquired.

"We work to try and find him again." Ian said after a short pause.

Lexa turned to look at the elemental. "I thought this was the end of the road for you? You wanted to live off the grid and stay away from the Dominion and any other big nasty."

Ian smirked and shook his head slightly. "I knew when I started helping Adam with this project that I wasn't going to be able to stop. When I met all of you I saw you work together as a team. I realized how involved I'd already become and it was too late for me to want to turn back. I'm already wanted for my abilities, but now I want to stop hiding out and help." He paused to look over the faces now looking at him, "That is, if you will have me."

A quick glance around the room showed everyone's agreement. Brennan placed his hand out, "Welcome to the team, man. I guess we'll need to build onto this place!"

"Maybe not," Beau said. Everyone's gaze shot to him and he continued. "Angel and I are going to return to the safe-houses soon."

Shalimar's eyes shot up to the larger ferals, alarm shining through. "I thought you were staying?"

Angel grabbed both of Shalimar's hands, "We want to, but when we were talking with Lexa last night we decided that maybe it would be best for us to be on the outside and help with the Underground."

Shalimar looked directly at Lexa, but before she could say a word, Lexa cut her off by holding up her hand and beginning to speak. "I know that I might have overstepped a little, but the truth is that we need people out in the field. Let me rephrase that, we need good and trained people out in the field. If we are going to stay ahead of the Dominion we need to have trusted and reliable assets we can count on."

"Did you even give them a choice?" Brennan's tone was bordering on a growl as he shot an icy glare toward Lexa.

"Of course she gave us a choice," Angel said stepping between the two elementals. She turned to Brennan, "We chose to go back out into the field. It was actually Beau's idea. We enjoyed our work with the Underground and our knowledge of it has kept us all alive these past few months."

Brennan looked slightly apologetic, and the icy glare turned to a questioning one as his gaze swung back to Beau. "Are you sure?"

Beau smiled warmly at Brennan's concern and nodded, "Yes we've been talking about the idea for several weeks now."

Jesse walked over to Lexa's side and gently squeezed her arm, "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean the Dominion has already figured out where a lot of the safe-houses are."

"That's why I was programmed to start rebuilding and creating new ones on an entirely separate network. I've also started the schematics for all of you to have comm-rings, Angel, Beau, and Ian, included." Adam said.

Shalimar walked to Beau's side and placed a hand on his broad bicep. "Where are you going to go? We don't have anything established yet."

Beau gave her a small kiss on the head. "We haven't really gotten that far yet. This is more like one of your _fly by the seat of your pants _plans."

Shalimar felt a small smile tug at the corners of her lips. She turned to the hologram, "So we will all have functioning comm-rings again?"

He nodded. "Yes within the next few days I'll be finished with the design and the new frequency signals. Each of you should have one by the end of the week. That is if one of you is willing to do the last physical touches."

Jesse stepped forward. "Wait a minute; you said that you were working on new safe-house locations? How is that possible? We didn't know that they would be compromised until the Dominion attacked."

The hologram paced slightly back and forth and ran a hand over its mouth. There was no way that anyone but Adam could have created this image before them. He was a copy right down to Adam's habits and reflexes. "I, well Adam, knew that something big was coming, and he had long planned to separate Mutant X from the Dominion's control and influence. He knew that would mean rebuilding almost everything he had worked for. I was instructed to start doing the calculations to provide various new safe-houses and contact sites throughout the area. I'm now working on a larger band surrounding the city."

"How come Adam never warned us?" Jesse asked.

Ian stepped up and glanced at the hologram and nodded. "He didn't want you to be compromised."

Brennan, Shalimar and Jesse all started to voice their objections. Ian held up a hand in deference to their comments. The three quieted and let him continue.

"At the time I started working with Adam again, Lexa was an unknown, in the sense that he still was unsure of where her loyalties lie." He spared an apologetic glance toward Lexa who shrugged it off. "He wanted to make sure that everything was in place before revealing his plans. He also wanted to know what side Lexa was working for. By the time things started to come together here, things with the Dominion had progressed too rapidly and he was unable to safely move Mutant X and his operation away from the Dominion."

Silence reigned over the room for a long moment.

"So I guess the big question is; what do we do now?" Lexa asked.

"It depends if you are all staying or not, now that you know the truths and ends of it." The hologram answered.

"I'm staying on," Jesse said, almost immediately.

"We're too engrained as soldiers to not want to fight. You can count Angel and me in." Beau's baritone rumbled.

Lexa stepped up by Jesse's side and grasped his hand. "I'm in."

Shalimar looked to Brennan; she was waiting for him to change his mind. He had always battled with Adam over the lies and half-truths. She loved him, but she knew where her future lies. She needed the team and she needed to make sure that one day Adam could return to them. She stepped up towards the others and put a hand on Lexa's shoulder and smirked. "Someone has to keep you in line."

Brennan glanced into Shalimar's eyes. He had the choice still. He hadn't told the others that he was thinking about leaving. He had told Shalimar the truth though. He wanted to stay. Not only because of her, but because these people, this team, had become his family. He stepped forward, not breaking eye-contact with Shalimar, and grasped Shalimar's hand, bringing her knuckles to his mouth and placing a kiss on them before looking at the others. "I guess you're stuck with me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Over the next two days all of the team's remaining items had been moved to Haven. Ian kept his house in the woods, and planned to work out of there. He was less then an hour away by car, and as with Angel and Beau, it was agreed that it was good to have someone on the outside in case of emergencies. Ian's ability with computers also allowed him to open a link to access Haven's computers through a "back door" in the system. He would also have a room at Haven being that the majority of his time would be spent there anyway. He had decided to take over in the assisting of _holographic Adam _and be his hands, so to speak.

Three days later Brennan, Jesse, Lexa, Angel, Beau, Shalimar, and Ian were sitting down to dinner for the first time together in Haven. The hologram of Adam had disappeared shortly before saying that it was going to be looking for any clues as to where the real Adam might have been being held.

The kitchen was smaller then Sanctuary, but they had managed to pack it full of food over the past two days, and everyone pitched in to help with dinner.

"So what do you think so far?" Ian asked Shalimar after swallowing a mouthful of food.

"I think that it will start to feel like home soon." Her eyes glanced at Brennan and his hand drifted down to gently squeeze her thigh in accord.

"Have you guys decided anything about the safe-houses yet?" Jesse asked Angel and Beau.

"We were working with Adam… I mean the hologram?" Angel started.

Everyone joined in a short stint of laughter at the confusion that had been felt throughout the past few days as to how they were going to address the hologram.

"Did we ever decide on what we were going to do about that? I mean it's not really Adam, but at the same time it is who he was." Angel asked as they all stared questioningly at each other.

"Well," Lexa said. "We could call him holo-adam?"

A chorus of groans prevailed at the bad-joke on the old-movie.

"Well we could call him by the frequency designation code." Jesse piped up.

Shalimar picked up a piece of bread and hit him in the face before saying, "I'm not calling him by a string of numbers I'll most likely forget anyway."

Brennan, Angel, and Lexa nodded in agreement while trying to chew their food.

"Okay, fine, you guys have any better ideas?" Jesse said, slightly pouting into his food.

The hologram appeared in the middle of the kitchen. "I would love to interject on my own behalf, but I found some important information that needs attending to."

Ian jumped slightly and the rest of the group looked up at the appearance.

"What is it? Can we finish dinner?" Shalimar asked.

"Not if you want to catch her." The hologram said walking out to the computer terminals.

"Who are we going after?" Lexa stood and followed him out with the others following suit within seconds.

"Dominique," the hologram answered pulling up a picture of a face mostly covered by a large-brimmed hat and several dark brown tresses flowing down her shoulders.

* * *

_Remember Dominique from Season 3? Can anyone remember why Lexa wanted to get to her so badly? _

_**Please Review** - My muse is a certified junkie for them. I've tried to find her help, but the doc said the only fix is to give her more!_


	26. Returning to the Fight

_It's finally here! I'm really sorry for the delay. R/L has been a bear, and I've been writing bits and pieces of this in my spare time. I finally had a day off and managed to finish the chapter. Sadly there is only one more after this and I have it mapped out, so hopefully I can get it started and worked on tonight._

_I'd like to apologize to everyone I haven't had a chance to say thank you to for your reviews. They have not gone unnoticed and I'm really grateful for all of the support and requests for me to finish this story. I really hope that this chapter answers any questions about Dominique and what is happening._

_I do have another idea in the plans for a story after this so hopefully it will give me motivation to get writing._

_**AN1**: This was difficult to write because I had to create a persona for Dominique so I need you to bear with me. I had to think about how I thought she might have been portrayed in the series so if she rubs you the wrong way, bear with it, there is a reason for her attitude._

_**AN2**: Special thanks to all of my friends and Beta's. You know who you are and I have to ask everyone to extend a thanks to them for all of their help._

_I'll stop boring you now, so you can read the story!_

* * *

_**Chapter 26: Returning to the Fight**_

"I told you we couldn't go that way!" Dominique hissed over the sound of bullets spraying past them and hitting the adjacent walls.

"Well in case you haven't noticed, there's a ten story drop outside that wall there, and all of the exits are pinned down." Lexa almost snarled.

"I hate to interrupt you two from your lovely argument." Angel pushed between the two, "But if we are going to find a way out of here, we need to do it fast. Shalimar just called and said that there were two more trucks of operatives that arrived."

Brennan shot another few bolts of electricity around the corner before turning his attention back to the conversation. He wanted to shake his head at the way the two women had been bickering ever since they came under attack.

They had found Dominique hold up in on the top floor with one man that was dead by the Dominion guards hands before they arrived. Taking out the three guards who were preparing to move her wasn't difficult, but Brennan couldn't think of where all of the other guards had gone. The unspoken question was answered as soon as they tried to get Dominique out of the room.

He interrupted the women before they could start arguing again. "We need to get to the other side of the floor. Beau's saying that there is a building that is close enough to jump to if Jesse phases the wall."

"You want me to do what?" Jesse had to almost yell to be heard above the gunfire and the screaming of the fire alarms that had been triggered.

Lexa ducked her head back around and shot Jesse a glare before she looked to Brennan, "I count six, spread out between twelve feet. If we can take them out then we can use this hallway to get to the other end."

"Okay on three." Brennan said as he felt the power flow through his hands. "One… Two… Three!"

Both Brennan and Lexa turned the corner and began firing full blast at the six soldiers barring them from freedom. A heat flared up in Brennan's bicep as a bullet barely grazed the skin. He pushed the pain to the side and used his anger to fuel his attack. The soldiers' body armor absorbed part of the energy, but they were hit too hard and fast by Lexa and Brennan's attack to recover from the force of the blows.

Looking back over her shoulder Lexa nodded, "Let's go!"

Taking off down the hallway the group rounded the corner, where there were two more soldiers standing at a post. Angel somersaulted and took the one out by wrapping her legs around his neck and cutting off the flow of valuable oxygen. The second was taken out by Jesse as he went around the corner and massed then delivered a hard uppercut to his opponents jaw.

Running full steam to the other end of the hall, Brennan had Ian on the other end of the comm telling him to go to the south side. Shalimar was reporting two teams of six just entered through the first floor side and front entrances. Her barely controlled voice was on the edge of panic, and he couldn't help but remember exactly how that fear felt. Squelching his feelings, he listened to Ian's directions for the right room and looked to Jesse. "Phase us through that door over there, 1066."

Following Brennan's direction, the group went into an empty penthouse suite with a large bay window. A quick look out the window showed an alleyway approximately eight feet across and a building about two stories lower on the other side. It looked to be the top of a parking garage.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Dominique's exasperated voice echoed slightly in the confines of the room. "We'll break something if we aren't killed!"

"Beau said not to worry, he has an idea" Angel said as she looked to Jesse. "He just needs a few more minutes."

"I don't think we have them," Lexa's voice was hushed and hurried. "I hear the cavalry coming now."

"Shit," Angel swore as she stretched out her feral hearing. "I hear at least five of them."

Brennan and Angel barricaded the door with a dresser and a few other heavy objects. Lexa had pulled Dominique to the side away from the door.

Beau's low timbre voice broke through the din into the comm in Brennan's ear, "_Now, Brennan!_"

"Jess, now," Brennan told the molecular.

The wall took on a shimmering quality and the group plunged through the opening one at a time. As Brennan jumped out Jesse waited for him to clear before backing off and taking a running start and phasing himself through the wall, praying that whatever plan Shalimar and Beau had devised, it didn't involve any of them requiring surgery once they reached the other side.

_**Three Hours Earlier**_

"Dominique?" Lexa's voice held a sound of barely contained enthusiasm.

Adam's hologram nodded in Lexa's direction.

Shalimar watched as the screen lit up with the picture they had seen of the elusive woman over a year ago, the one who had the answers to stabilizing their DNA. A small wave of hope began to trickle into her mind. Finally they might have a lead to help them continue their lives without fear of dying due to a genetic flaw. Dominique was their best hope for a life that wouldn't be regulated by the cumbersome expiration date she felt was engraved on her soul.

"Where is she?" Brennan's voice sounded from over her right shoulder.

Shalimar noticed as he had come up behind her he cradled her hip in one hand, pulling her close to his side. As he heard the news his grip tightened, and she could feel his body tense slightly. She moved her hand to cover his in a sign of reassurance.

"That is the odd part," the hologram answered pulling up a map on the wall-screen. "She is located in the Ridgemont hotel in the city. It seems that the she has tried to cut ties with the Dominion. I just received a message looking for Mutant X to help her."

The group looked to one another, skeptically.

Jesse was the first to speak. "I thought Dominique had her own security and bodyguards. We couldn't have gotten close to her before, even if we found her."

The hologram smiled tightly, "She was on the Dominion's payroll."

"Those bastards," Lexa spat. "They told me they couldn't help me to get to her and that she was out of their reach!"

"Lexa, calm down," Jesse said, gently grabbing her arm. "There's nothing we can do about it now."

"Those God damn liars, all that time I tried to get help for my brother and they kept telling me that she was her own entity!" Lexa shrugged off Jesse's hold and paced, her face flushed.

Shalimar felt a twinge of pain for Lexa and her lost opportunities with her brother.

Angel walked to Lexa's side and put her hands on the brunette's shoulders, looking directly into Lexa's eyes before speaking. "Lex, we can't change the past, but we can change the future."

Lexa looked furious, but only for a moment. Her anger drained slowly away, but the tension remained.

"How did you get the message?" Ian asked the hologram. "I mean this could be a trap, right?"

"I would have believed so, except for the referencing address. It's the one that Adam set aside for priority transmissions." The hologram responded.

"How did she get access to that? I thought that Adam actually had to send us a message for it to be encoded that way?" Jesse asked as he walked to the keyboard and punched in the buttons.

The hologram walked over to the desk and looked at the group of faces before it spoke. "I'm under the belief that Adam did send the message." The hologram answered as a separate screen from the one Jesse was accessing came up with the message followed by a set of coordinates.

_Mutant X - Dominique is in the city. She has been compromised and needs help. She has agreed to help you for your troubles. She will be able to inform you of more when you get to her._

Shalimar's heart ached slightly, even in his absence Adam was trying to protect them; he had led them to the one person who could successfully correct their genetic defects. He had all but secured a way for the new mutants to develop ways to stabilize their DNA.

"Your comm-rings haven't yet been completed, but I do have four ear comms that you can use for now." The hologram said, and then turned to Ian. "If you would help me with the last calibrations we can get them ready to go. We can monitor the transmissions from Haven." The hologram said as he motioned to Ian.

Ian nodded and headed to the lab as the hologram faded from its position.

"Let's get this done!" Lexa said then leveled her gaze at Shalimar. "Shalimar, you aren't going in."

Shalimar felt like her head was going to spin around. A heat of anger flushed her cheeks, she wasn't about to let her team go into this situation without her. "No. No way Lex! I'm going with you. There is no way of knowing what you are up against, and you are gonna need all the help you can get."

Lexa leveled her gaze into Shalimar's eyes. "And you're still on the injured list. What happens if your right and we do come under fire? We can't risk you getting further injured, or worse." Lexa's voice dropped to a hushed whisper toward the end. Her green eyes pleaded with Shalimar's for a moment before Shalimar broke the gaze.

"I'm still going with you." Shalimar stated simply.

Lexa smirked. "I never counted you completely out. I want you to stay with Beau and overlook the hotel and be our outside eyes and ears."

"I should be going in with you." Beau stated.

"I agree." Angel said. "We might need more help."

Lexa looked between the two ferals for a moment before answering. "I think it is a better idea for Beau to stay with Shalimar. She can't fight in full capacity, and we need to keep someone with her who can pick up the slack."

"I don't need a baby sitter!" Shalimar snapped as Angel's eyes glowed amber for a moment, "I can handle that just fine!" Both women spoke in unison

"That's why I want you inside, Angel." Lexa stated as if she was explaining to someone either very young or very slow, completely ignoring Shalimar's outburst. "You are just as capable as Beau, and I want the tactician outside. He's used to being the leader and coming up with plans on the fly. We might need him to do some of that on the outside."

Angel grumbled, but walked away without further confrontation.

Beau smiled at Lexa. "You would have been a great tactical planner to have on my old team."

Lexa returned the smile with a grin. "Hell, I'm flying by the seat of my pants! I've only been working with team planning for the past year."

"She's just trying to make sure we have our bases covered, Shalimar" Brennan said softly in her ear. "I would have set it up the same way."

"That doesn't mean I have to like it." Shalimar scowled in Lexa's direction."

"No, you don't, but you have to know that we don't want you hurt any worse," Brennan reasoned. "Besides you will be just as valuable if things go wrong inside. We'll need you to get us out."

The scowl softened to a hard pout, but she left it alone and started walking to her room to change and collect her things.

"Okay team, pack up we leave in twenty minutes!" Brennan said causing Shalimar to turn and look at him. She noticed that as Lexa began to walk away he followed her.

Shalimar couldn't help but train her hearing to listen in on the conversation. Worry flooded her that the two might get into another fight about something.

"Thank you," he said softly.

"Don't get all teary eyed on my sparky," Lexa tried to make her voice hard, but knew that it wasn't nearly as hard as she had wanted it to come across. "I'm just trying to save all of our asses."

Brennan looked skeptical for a moment before responding. "I think she took it better from you then she would have from me, and you were right in your reasons."

Lexa looked into his mahogany eyes and saw the sincerity overlaying the difficulty in which it had taken him to thank her. "We all love her, Bren. I just came up with a better avenue to divert her then a: because I love you defense." She smiled briefly before turning to gather her supplies.

Shalimar had watched the interaction with piqued interest from her spot by the doorway. For so long Brennan and Lexa had been almost literally at each others throats. Now she noticed a quasi-truce between the two and knew that they had found a common ground in keeping her safe.

Part of her was still furious about being restricted on a mission. Healing these wounds was taking longer then she would have liked, but at least she healed faster then most people. For that she was thankful. The stitches had come out yesterday, and Mira told her that she was mostly healed, but not to push too hard for the next two weeks to allow the mending to complete.

Focusing her sight back at Brennan and Lexa she saw the brunette punch lightly at his shoulder before heading off in the opposite direction. Brennan turned and looked into her eyes and his face took on a light-hearted look, bordering on innocence. She smiled back and decided to let them win this once.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Pulling up in front of a building down the street from the hotel Lexa, Brennan, Jesse, and Angel got out and made their way up to the hotel. From their position down the street from the hotel they noticed a large black SUV parked in front of the main doors. The comms were given to Shalimar, Beau, Brennan, and Angel.

"_There is a side entrance about ten yards down the building on the side closest to you. Jesse will have to phase you in. There's no external handles, it's an emergency exit only._" Ian's voice cut through the comms.

"Okay, let's move out." Brennan said shooting a quick smile at Shalimar and watching a look of worry pass over her face. She had been worried from the time they had said she wasn't going in, but there was little he could do to dispel her fears.

Shalimar sat with Beau in silence for a few moments. She glanced around at the surrounding buildings trying to find a decent place to set up a look-out. The only place that was even remotely accessible was a parking garage for the hotel. After a brief discussion with Ian over the comms, Beau and Shalimar ascertained that he could hack into the video cameras on the east and south sides and give them any updates they would need as well as monitor the situation from those angles; which left the front and the side with the parking garage for Beau and Shalimar to visually cover.

"_Shal, I tried to hack into the camera's inside, but it's no use. Someone has cut all power to them. I can't even turn them back on by remote_." Ian's voice came over Shalimar's comm.

"Okay, Ian." Shalimar responded as she slid into the alleyway across the street from the entrance to the hotel and blended-in with the shadows. "Brennan, where are you guys?"

"_We're on the third floor. We've had to duck a few of the agents, but we should be up to her room in less then five._" Brennan's voice whispered in her ear.

"We have no way of tracking you guys on the inside so one of you will have to keep us posted. Ian tried to hack the cameras, but it's not working." Shalimar tried to keep the exasperation out of her voice.

"_Okay we'll keep giving you updates. How is Ian coming with the building plans?_"

"He's got them, once you reach the eighth floor call him and he will get you set up with the best way and an alternate route."

"_Gotcha_." Brennan replied and she heard the comm go silent.

Shalimar watched the front entrance for another five minutes and noticed that whoever was in the black SUV still hadn't gotten any back-up. The situation concerned her, and she began to get a feeling that something wasn't right.

Beau was positioned at the top of the parking garage and keeping watch on the vehicles and personnel that might try to enter that way. When he had reached the top he had advised Shalimar that there were no other vehicles in the garage that looked to be a back up part of the insurgent team.

Watching the entrance and main streets she listened to the chatter between Ian, Beau, Brennan, and Angel. Without warning the sound of gunfire screamed in Shalimar's ear through the comm.

"_Shal, we're taking on fire. We've reached the floor and got to Dominique, but we're pinned down in her room. Did any more cars get here, because there are a lot more guys here then we initially thought would be?_" Angel's strained voice said into her ear.

"No, no one's shown up!" Shalimar said looking up and down the street to see if she had missed something. As she did, two more vehicles rounded the corner and pulled into the alleyway opposite of Beau. "Shit, you guys have more incoming. There are two more trucks that just pulled up!"

She counted two teams of six entering the building one through the side and another through the front entrances. "Brennan, you have two teams of six coming in at you." She felt the fear trying to grip at her voice.

"_Shalimar, I need you over here!_" Beau said. "_I have a plan for getting them out. Ian and I think it might work, and it's the best shot we have right now!_"

"I'm on my way!" Shalimar said running out from her cover once all of the teams had headed inside. She saw two of them standing guard at the front, but was able to use a few cars of passing traffic to aid in her concealment as she crossed the street.

"Angel, they have all the lower exits sealed off!" Shalimar said as she crossed the street and noticed the force now guarding the rear of the building.

"_Right Shal,_" came Angel's quick reply.

Shalimar ran as fast as she could. She could feel the newly mended skin on her abdomen throbbing slightly with pain. She used the feeling to ground herself and push a little harder. She had to trust that Mira was right when she said that the inside damage was ninety percent healed as she used her abilities to leap from landing to landing on the inside of the stairwell.

She reached the top of the garage to see Beau swinging a grappling hook across the enclosure between the buildings. He hooked a blue and golden banner that had stretched down the side of the hotel that was located just above the windows to the ninth story. He started to haul the banner across the gap between the buildings and she ran to help him. They hoisted the banner across and pulled tight as she heard Beau tell Brennan, now.

She saw the window directly above the banner shimmer and Lexa's figure appeared, making it most of the way across before contacting with the banner and sliding the rest of the way to the top of the garage. She looked flushed and slightly out of breath, but gave a small smile and nod to both Shalimar and Beau.

Angel and Dominique came next; Angel supporting the other woman with grace and ease as she cleared the gap. Beau dropped his section of the banner to help catch Dominique as Angel landed on the roof. Shalimar couldn't help but think that this powerful woman that they had been searching for looked very petite and pale.

Her attention was quickly returned to the banner as Brennan jumped from the building. She felt the banner contract as he landed on the heavy blue and gold swath of fabric and pulled tighter to keep him from getting stuck in the middle of the banner. She watched him slide toward her and almost bowl her over as he came to the end. His grin was infectious and she felt herself unconsciously grinning back.

Before she could take the time to notice much more, Jesse came through the section still phased; his features were blurry and distorted. She saw him falling and hoped that he could solidify before he hit the banner. Just before he came in contact with it his body stabilized and he hit the banner looking slightly ungainly as he slid the rest of the way down. His body carried him right into Shalimar and landed on top of her with a thud. She looked up into his apologetic eyes as he scrambled to get off of her and help her back up.

"I'm so-"

"Don't even think about apologizing, Jess." Shalimar said as she got back up.

"Okay, now what?" Lexa said looking to where the gunman had started firing into the room they had just vacated.

"Now we get the hell out of here." Beau said hurrying everyone down the stairs of the garage.

Shalimar spared a thought and threw the banner over the side of the roof before taking off after the rest of the group. She saw them racing down to the next level where Beau had parked the truck. They all piled in as the tires squealed and smoked laying down a coating of rubber before flying down the ramp to the exit.

"We're never going to make it." Dominique almost sobbed. "There is no way that they won't have the exits blocked."

"That's not true," Shalimar snapped the turned her gaze to Jesse. "Do you remember what you did with the Helix that time? Do you think you could do it again?"

Jesse's unsure glance frightened her for a moment before she saw courage flare to life in his eyes and his face broke into a small smirk. "You know Shal; I think that just might work."

"Whatever you guys are planning you might want to have it ready." Beau said from the driver's seat. "We're almost at the exit."

Looking forward through the windshield Shalimar saw the large G painted onto the pole they were driving toward. The entrance held two large black SUV's and men posed to fire at the oncoming vehicle.

She felt more then heard Jesse take a deep breath and stretch himself across the vehicle to contact different points. Jesse called out to Beau to keep driving just before the sensation began to flow through her. It was an odd feeling of disconnection that overtook her, and Shalimar still was amazed at the way that Jesse was able to accomplish this.

As their SUV approached the exit and the men waiting for them everything began to shimmer and they watched a hail of bullets and electricity pass through them. They passed through the vehicles and rematerialized on the other side just in time to take the turn and take off down the street.

"Holy shit, that feels weird." Angel said moving and glancing at her arms. A wave of murmurs throughout the vehicle concurred with her.

Jesse just grinned and shrugged his shoulders. He looked exhausted, and Shalimar knew the effort that it must have taken him to pull off that stunt probably came close to draining him. Grabbing his hand she squeezed it and gave him a smile. His eyes were tired, but he didn't look injured.

Shalimar noticed a coppery odor of blood and looked to the people who just arrived. She was able to see the hole in the material of Brennan's jacket and the trail of blood leading down his sleeve.

"Shit, Brennan!" Shalimar said trying to get a closer look at the wound.

Brennan tried to shrug her off and hissed when her hand grazed the wound. "Shal, I'm fine, really. It's just a scratch."

"We got trouble," Lexa said from the front seat. "Two more are following us."

"Well, what's the plan now?" Dominique snapped. "You have done s-"

"Would you just shut up for a moment?" Angel cut her off. "We have to figure out how to get out of here and get back to Haven without them following us."

Brennan went to put the window down on the side directly behind Beau and cursed in frustration. "Beau, could you have disabled the child locks on the window? I don't think that any of us has plans to jump out the window just yet."

Beau let out a loud snort of amusement before disengaging the locks allowing Brennan to put the rear window all the way down.

"Lex, see if you can hit the second car, I'll go for the first," Brennan said as Lexa began to position herself in the front passenger seat to fire at the tailing vehicles.

Lexa responded by firing upon the second vehicles tires and missing, glancing off of the fender. "Beau hang a right at some point so I can get a better shot."

Beau responded by making a quick turn onto a side street and hanging wide to allow Lexa the room to strike again.

The second and third shots that Lexa sent found their marks in the tires as the truck rounded the turn. The tires blew spectacularly as the truck was in mid-turn and dipped forward before careening down the road on its side.

Brennan hit the first truck twice with his electricity only bouncing off of the windshield and arcing over the vehicle. Taking aim directly at the grill of the truck he threw another jolt of electricity and watched as the vehicle sputtered and rolled to a stop.

Hooking a few more turns to make sure that they weren't being followed, Beau began to head back to Haven. "Ian can you hack into the satellites and make sure that we aren't being followed?" He asked as he constantly checked his mirrors.

"_I'm checking now,_" came Ian's reply over the comms that Shalimar had almost forgotten she had in. She heard Ian's voice come across the comms again, "_I don't see anything aerial or otherwise following you. From what I have seen, I don't think they were expecting to run into you guys there. It was too light of a regiment._"

"That was a light regiment?" Angel's voice was laced with amazement.

"Okay, let's get back to Haven." Shalimar said as she looked around and noticed Dominique sitting next to her in the middle row seat on the passenger side.

The woman's face was stony and she looked almost nothing like the pampered princess that Shalimar imagined. Harsh angles made up the woman's face with large green eyes, dark brown hair and pale skin. She was the definition of exotic in features. Her body was petite but well toned and healthy.

"Do you want a picture," snapped Dominique.

Eyes narrowed as Shalimar assessed the woman sitting next to her. "I'm just trying to figure out how you are a scientist."

"I'm a geneticist." Dominique replied tersely.

"Listen, we just saved your life. What's with the attitude?" Angel said leaning up from the back seat.

Dominique appraised Angel, as if seeing her for the first time. "You don't get it do you? I lost everything. My work, my home, and the life I was accustomed to. It's all gone!" She took a deep breath before continuing, trying to regain her composure, "Those fucking people at the Dominion had to have everything and wanted me to become a puppet for them. I refused to work like that."

"I think I might know what that is like." Shalimar's voice felt small in her throat, and she was surprised that anyone was able to hear it.

Dominique turned her eyes over and Shalimar felt as if she was being pierced and dissected with them. It was a very appraising gaze, and after several heartbeats Dominique spoke again, her tone was slightly softer this time. "I believe that you do know, but it doesn't change anything. I have a few discs with my research on them and very little else that I have become accustomed to. I promised Adam to help Mutant X stabilize their genetics, but I'm not even sure if I have the right stuff."

Shalimar felt Brennan shift next to her and speak over her shoulder, it seemed as if it was the first time he had any interest in the conversation. "You aren't sure if you can help us?"

Downcast eyes answered Brennan before their speaker was able to. "I'm not sure," she started but then looked up into his eyes. "I will figure it out, but it might not be as soon as if I had all of my old research. It was all destroyed before the Dominion could come and confiscate it."

Nodding in reply, Brennan fell back against the seat and Shalimar noticed that he looked slightly pale. Reaching down beneath the seat she grabbed the first aid kit and unpacked some pain killers and bandages. Brennan resisted at first, but then gave in as she gave him the pills then pulled his jacket over his arm and began to bandage the wound splitting the skin on the outside of his arm. He would need stitches, but after a cursory inspection, Angel agreed that he would be fine.

The ride back to Haven was completed in silence.

* * *

_I really hope that you have all enjoyed the story thus far. I tried to make it a nice long chapter to compensate for my lack of writing recently. I have really enjoyed writing this fic, and I have to say that after almost 2 years of writing it, I'm gonna be sad to see it end. I hope to have the last chapter out soon._

_Remember that reviews feed my muse, and when he is nice and full he loves to kick me in the ass to keep writing so he gets more._


	27. Endings and Beginnings

This is it! The long awaited finale. After much agonizing and deliberation I decided to post this without having it beta'd. I'll be on vacation for 2 weeks, and I didn't want this to sit any longer then it already has.

This story has been my laboring project for a long time. I was sad to see it end, but I am happy that I was able to write it to completion. I know there were too many times where I felt like I wouldn't finish it, so seeing the ending is a bittersweet thing. The original idea for this story was a bunch of journal entries, it evolved over time to the story of what happened to the team after the finale through the eyes of Shalimar and Brennan.

I'd like to thank all of my loyal reviewers for all of their help keeping me writing.

_**Kai0707** - Luv u girl! Thanks for all of your help and support. You have been fantastic. I hope to get working on some story ideas while I'm away so you have more to read. I really hope you like the ending! I promise to keep in-touch too!_

_**Rachel** - Luv u babe! Thanks for all of your help and inspiration, plus the late day talks that helped get me in gear to write! You have been a tremendous help and I can't thank you enough! I'll catch up with you soon!_

_**sbfangal** - You are another of my loyal reviewers who I owe a huge debt of gratitude to. You have kept at me to keep writing and get the story done. Thank You! I hope you like the ending, and I plan on getting started the next story soon!_

_**lkaplon** - Thank you for all of your support. I have really enjoyed your reviews and I look forward to what you think of the ending. Thank you for kicking me in the ass when I needed to get in gear!_

_**LARHIRI** - Thank you for the review. I can't say how much it helps me to write when I see new reviewers who love my story. I hope that you enjoy the last chaper!_

To all of my other loyal readers: Thank you for the reviews and reading. Please let me know what you think of the story. I really appreciate all of the FB and kind words I have gotten during this story. Thank you for your time!

_This won't be posted to my site until I have finished having it beta'd, but hopefully by the time I get back from vacation I will have it ready. The Mature Version will be posted there!_

_**A special thank you to my beautiful beta's during this story - Stephanie, Sara, Rachel and Heather. You guys have made this idea and story possible with all of your help and words. Thank you all!**_

Here it is, the moment so many of you have been waiting for. I had trouble deciding on how to complete it, so I hope it turned out well and you enjoy the end!

_

* * *

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_**Chapter 27 - Endings and Beginnings**_

* * *

_**November 22, 2004**_

_I can't believe that I'm writing again. It's been a long time since I even thought about this book. It's been over a year since I've written in it. It was a strange feeling when Shalimar pulled it out of that rucksack and I felt a piece of me slip back into place after being gone so long I'd forgotten it belonged there. Everything that the Dominion stole from me and the life that I was building had left an empty spot that I didn't know I had until I saw this old journal and started paging through it._

_Shalimar told me that she read it. I think she felt obligated to tell me after I began to look through it again. I wanted to be mad at her for going through my thoughts and musings, but in the end I realized that maybe she just wanted a piece of me to hang onto. The way I wished that I had something of hers when I was being held by the Dominion._

_Moving into Haven felt like I was starting a new chapter. For some reason when I was in my room the tonight I realized that maybe it was time to start writing again. The whole team is beginning a new life. I couldn't help but think that maybe I should start writing some of it down. _

_I began to read it through for the second time and realized that this was more then a way for me to vent. This was a way for me to remember what I did, and what happened between me and everyone I came in contact with. I was kinda nervous about Shalimar's reactions to the rather explicit entries that I wrote. She is so my girl though. She just told me that I have to make it up to her by showing her just how hot those entries made me feel! Yikes, she is like a beautiful dancing flame and I am just a moth._

_I'm never going to be caught saying this out loud, but I miss Sanctuary in a way. It was the first place in a long time that I felt was home. The family that I had been unconsciously missing was found within those walls. After reading through the old entries I remembered how much we had done there and all of the good and the bad that made it its namesake._

_Haven is starting to become more habitable every day. We are finding old and new stuff to furnish the place. Our gym is kinda nice too. Shalimar helped me test the mats out. I'm not sure if she will approve of me writing this, but I have to, just because. It's not like I haven't written this stuff before. The only difference is that this time it actually happened._

_She walked into the training room as I was on the bench pressing weights. I was a little distracted, but whenever she walks into a room I can usually smell her and feel her. It sounds weird, especially to me. I remember when Shalimar told me about being able to know when I'm around. It was an enigmatic intuition of connection. I never thought that I'd experience it too, but lately I've been noticing her presence more and more._

_When she walked into the gym she must have watched me for a good five minutes from the other side of the room while I finished up the sets I was doing. My muscles were aching and burning, but it felt great. I'm finally getting back into a stronger physical form. Those months locked away in those holes had left me a lot weaker then I wanted to believe. It's been three months though and I'm starting to feel more like my old self._

_I found myself laying on my back on the bench when I was finally able to breathe out a proper greeting to her. She almost stalked toward me and I felt my declining body heat take a turn and raise a few degrees. The way she moves amazes me sometimes. It is more like watching her flow then walk, almost fluid. She had on a soft green mesh-looking tank with laces that go up the sides with ties on the shoulders, a plunging neckline, and a swath of dark fabric that barely covered her braless breasts. I felt myself getting hotter just watching her. She had on a knee length skirt of the same material and color. It looked really good on her._

_I raised my head to ogle at her some more as she stood along side of me then laid a hand on my shoulder to keep me from rising up. She straddled my waist and bent over me so both of our torsos were in-line. Her eyes met mine as she slid her hands up my sides and I was glad that I had taken off my t-shirt earlier. The soft mesh of her shirt tickled my chest and I felt her hands slide inch by sultry inch up my sides._

_"I like you all hot and sweaty." She breathed into my ear before tracing the outline with her tongue. _

_I'd like to say that I held my cool, but that would be a lie. I moaned a little too loudly at the sensations she was arousing in my body. Her weight was pressed on me and I know she felt me hardening beneath her. I bit my lip as she ground herself down on me. I was pretty sure that she wasn't wearing any underwear. _

_I know I moaned her name somewhere in there as she was nipping, biting, licking down my throat and neck. The woman makes me such a gibbering idiot sometimes that I can't believe I'm the same person who used to be such a whore and never had a woman get to me._

_I worked my way up her thigh with my left hand while my right wound its way through her hair and pulled her hard to my mouth. I felt a surge of triumph as she let out a guttural moan and almost purred. She met my ardor and I felt our mouths melding together hard at first, but then getting a little softer and deeper. The fire inside of me had lost none of its edge, but I wanted to last a few moments so I knew I had to slow it down just enough._

_"There's no one here, and I told the hologram to give us some time alone." Her voice was barely above a whisper. _

_I'm glad no one was in Haven after that. Our moans must have echoed off of all the walls in the place. It was passionate and bracing. I felt our bodies merge and slide together. The sweating, moaning, and writhing rushed us into a blissful sensation of completion._

_I don't think we moved for the next ten minutes._

_Yeah it was that hot._

_I think I may need a cold shower now! I have to admit that Shalimar and I have been doing a lot of making up for lost time. It's rare that we spend time alone any more. I don't mind. Tonight she Angel and Lexa are doing some kind of girl's thing. I decided to just hang in my room, and hope that when she gets back she might just come straight in here instead of me sleeping alone. It would be nice to wake up to her. I'm really starting to get used to it._

_**November 26, 2004**_

_We had our first holiday at Haven. Thanksgiving. It was a new meaning for all of us, and I think for the rest of our lives the holiday will mean more to us then ever before. We are all alive and healthy. We have a new home and a new life. I really have gained a new appreciation for the holiday._

_The cooking portion was almost a fiasco, Jesse managed to set a pot on fire, and Lexa and Dominique were bickering about the best way to make the gravy. Shalimar made some candied yams and the turkey, the skin was a little crisp but it was still pretty good. I tried my hand at some mashed potatoes and sadly made a mess. I honestly have never used a mixer before in my life and doubt that I ever will again. I had no idea what that boost button did until I pushed it with the mixer half-way out of the bowl and potatoes went flying._

_The food was edible in the end, and we all gained an appreciation for the subtle art of cooking. The experience was more then the food, as good as it was, though. It was all about our make-shift family and the life we had built. The only one missing was Adam, and he was there in our thoughts if not real life. _

_The hologram or Holo-Adam as we have come to call him (sadly Jesse's suggestion stuck), had avoided the group of us for most of the day. It's odd that it seems to realize the emotions of the people around it. When we are depressed or sad it seems to react like Adam used to. Which on a base-level I guess I can understand because it has Adam's memories and experiences, but it is very disconcerting sometimes to find that I and the others for the most part react as if it is truly Adam we are talking to._

_Dominique thinks that she is on the edge of cracking the code to the genetic problems, and thinks that in a few more weeks she will have something more. She refuses to tell us how much time we have left. In a way I don't want to know. Sometimes being ignorant isn't bad, and it has caused me to want to enjoy each day a little more._

_We decided to recommence our missions to help other new mutants. We talked about it tonight, and came to the decision that the Dominion will only have the power that we let them have. No more people should have to suffer for their misgivings and mistakes. We fought long and hard before, and I think as a group that we are ready to do it again. _

_**December 9, 2004**_

_Jesse proposed to Lexa! I never thought it would happen, and if it did I wasn't entirely sure she would say yes. He did and she said yes! It was strange to see her with that much happiness on her face. _

_This came on the tail Dominique's breakthrough on the genetic stabilization. She has cracked the codes, for lack of a better term, of the problematic sequence. In a few weeks she has promised to have analyzed our DNA and figure out what abnormalities she needs to correct. _

_There is a different life about the place. We all have something to look forward to now. It is a great feeling of relief. It's funny because at the time I didn't even recognize it for a burden until I heard the news. It was a feeling of a new lease on life. That sounds really silly and simplistic now that I'm looking at what I just wrote. To describe the feeling is almost impossible unless you have had Death looming over your shoulder and waiting for it to claim you. Now He's gone. There's always the danger in going on missions. Life has dangers all the time, but… Hell I have no way to describe the relief except to say that I'm looking forward to trying to build a new life._

_A life with Shalimar…_

_Jesse asking Lexa to get married made me think about asking Shal even more then I've contemplated before. Ever since the girls, Beau and Ian saved us from the Dominion I have been thinking more and more about making a life with Shalimar. My emotions were running high and off-kilter when I got back, and I know for the first few weeks I didn't know if I wanted to stay. Falling back into step with everyone has caused me to realize that these people make up my home and family. Dad's gone; he's been MIA since I was seven, presumed dead. Mom died when I was fourteen, and I never knew of any other family. Foster homes were a complete joke; I was out of there before I turned sixteen. Now I have other people that count on me, and I realized that relying on them isn't necessarily a bad thing._

_We completed our third mission yesterday. Beau and Angel met us downtown where a mother and daughter were hiding out. Her husband had been led to believe that one of the "clinics" could help both the mother and daughter. They had run away with nothing more then the clothes on their back. Angel had happened upon them trying to steal some food. She set them up in a safe-house that we created. We moved them to the coast. They were scared, but we still have some of the old network of New Mutants that were able to help us relocate them._

_It was a simple job all and all, but we have been trying to find out more about these people running these clinics that have started showing up in the past few months. We're pretty sure that they aren't Dominion related, but we're checking around to see what or who is looking for new mutants to experiment on. Lexa and Shal were talking about doing a cover assignment at one of them to find out more. This is stuff we used to do all the time, but unfortunately we no longer have Adam's or the Dominion's contacts to fill us in on anything that could help. _

_Trying to rebuild the network of underground safe-houses and people willing to help has been slightly daunting. The problems with the Dominion leaked out, and some people are nervous to trust us. I can't blame them. We're also trying to rebuild contacts and sources to help us keep on top of things that are going on. Lexa was joking the other day when she said that we are back to Mutant X 1.0. I really don't think that it is that far from the truth though._

_**December 14, 2004**_

_I wonder if this is the sense of accomplishment and fulfillment that Adam talked to me about that one time. I wonder if he felt the same after he was successful in his missions._

_We managed to find out a ton of information on the clinics and the owner. Jesse's in the process of hacking his records and making the authorities aware of some unsavory actions. It will all be planted information, but we decided it would be for the better. The world isn't ready to handle what the man was really doing. Genetic experiments to make slaves for his personal use that were powerful but mindless. Talk about twisted._

_Getting nervous before a mission isn't something I usually feel. Shalimar was out on a routine mission, and I had my heart in my throat. I really love her. It's been staring me in the face this whole time. I'd realized it when I was in the hands of the Dominion and I never thought that I'd see her again. Before that I knew that I cared for her a lot, but when I was sitting alone in the cell one night I kept seeing her face. _

_Shalimar has been a rock for me. I would have bad days and see her or hear her voice, and suddenly I would smile. She makes my world brighter and better. I used to think that some of the other girls made me feel that way. I look back now and see what happened between me and Samantha and the regret that I felt in losing her. Just the thought alone of losing Shalimar hurts a hundred times worse. Of course these thoughts hit me when I was lying on a broken cot in a cell waiting for the Dominion to come back and torture me._

_Now I'm back, and she's here with me. I want to marry her. Hell I want to have kids with her. I can't believe I'm thinking about this, but it's not as scary as I once thought. My life isn't complete without her. I think I'm taking Angel with me to ring shop tomorrow. I just hope that Shalimar will say yes._

_**December 20, 2004**_

_She said yes! I'm looking at her hair cascading down my pillow in golden waves. It's the most beautiful sight. I could stand waking up like this every morning. I don't know why I can't sleep. Maybe I'm too wired with all of the thoughts going through my head. _

_Dominique was able to stabilize Lexa's, Beau and Angel's DNA. She is working on Shalimar's now, and then mine. She said that Ian is more stable then the rest of us, and he offered to go last. He's a really good guy. I'm glad that we got hooked up with him. Although I think Lexa is ready to keep him and Jesse separated. Apparently the two of them get into total geek-speak conversations for hours. It's funny until you just want a yes or no answer._

_Mutant X is slowly getting a cash fund built back up. I'm not sure how, but Jesse and Ian assured us that we would be comfortable for a little while. We all have some money in separate accounts for ourselves too. I spent a good chunk of mine on that ring, but it was worth it._

_She really said yes. I know I wrote it already, but I want to jump up on top of the cliff and scream it. I need to get a grip fast. When I had my first Christmas with Mutant X Shalimar took me to the bluff overlooking all of the people in their homes and watching the kids playing in the snow. That has been one of my best memories ever. I wanted to make it hers too._

_Three days of trekking through the forest behind Haven and I found the perfect place. The bluff overlooks the outskirts of a small town a few miles from here. I was going to wait for Christmas Eve, but Shalimar was excited about getting the tree. We got on the snowmobile and started riding. I was leaning over her shoulder and giving her directions to where I saw a pretty tree the other day. All the while leading her to the spot on the bluff._

_Being busy with the case meant that she wasn't at Haven to keep an eye on me or wonder why I was so busy outside all of the time. I really was looking for a place to pop the question, but I was also trying to keep busy while the girls were on the assignment. It kept me from dwelling on all of the things gone wrong._

_We made it out to the bluff and the moon had just risen. The air was crisp and cool, but not completely bitter. Or maybe that was because I felt numb with nerves. We pulled over by the edge, and I got off pulling her hand to have her follow me. We stood on the side of the bluff and I watched her look down on all of the houses. She had this look of longing on her face as she watched some kids have a snowball fight. I just watched as the air puffed out of her lips in wispy clouds, and the way her face shifted as she noticed the different scenes beneath us._

_Her face was lit by the moonlight and her hair was glowing. (I think I have been reading too much of the women poets lately. I seem to have caught the romantic bug or something.) Standing on the hill and watching her watch the scenes below was amazing. Finally she asked me why I kept staring at her; she never even moved her head. She just knew. I had so many thoughts and ideas before we left Haven. I wanted it to be just right._

_Instead I blurted out, "Marry me?"_

_Her face twisted into a smirk and she punched my arm. She thought I was kidding. Of course with a delivery like that who could blame her? So I decided to try again before I lost every last nerve I owned and jumped off the edge and buried myself in the snow where hopefully no one would find me until next spring._

_Getting down on one knee I pulled the box out of my pocket as she turned away from me to head back to the snowmobile. My hand grabbed hers and pulled her back around to look at me. "Marry me, Shalimar." I think my voice came out just above a whisper. Thank God for feral hearing. I opened the box and showed her the ring. It's more ornate gold work then anything. One heart shaped diamond in the center set in a winding pattern of gold that almost matches her eyes when they go feral._

_Seconds ticked past, and I wondered if the throwing myself down the cliff-face was still an option. Her mouth opened and closed a few times and I couldn't hear a word. Guys say that getting married is nerve wracking. No one ever said that this part is terrifying. While I was musing how hard I had to push off to launch just right to go over the edge of the cliff she fell to her knees and grabbed the sides of my face. _

_Kissing Shalimar has always been a full body experience. I feel it all the way down to my toes, but this time I swore I could feel the individual hairs on my head tingle. I've never been kissed like that before, or maybe I just never was so in tune with the fact that she was kissing me like I was the last person she'd ever see._

_Her hoarse 'yes' came out as she broke away from me, but I pulled her into my lap and kissed her again before the 's' was out of her mouth. We stayed like that for a long time._

_The tree was a secondary experience, but for some reason it had more laughter and joy then I'd experienced ever before. By the time we got back to Haven everyone was still milling around. I should have known that Angel wasn't going to keep it quiet. The expectant looks were all I needed to know that she had spilled on what I was planning._

_I don't mind so much, but I'm glad that Shal said yes or I would have felt like a real idiot. Speaking of which, I think I'm going to return to the arms of my fiancée (never thought I would ever say that) and enjoy a few more hours of sleep._

_**December 27, 2004**_

_Adam's back!_

_We don't know how he made it, but we're positive it's him. The Dominion is folding and losing some of its hold. He has struck some kind of bargain with them that he hasn't told us about yet. _

_He said he is here to stay, and Mutant X lives._

_Fin_

* * *

_**I'd love to know what you thought! Please Review!**_

**_Sincerely,_**

**_Angelstryst_**


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